Next month I will travel to Florida for my sister's Celebration of Life. It's a difficult thing to realize that she is actually gone, that I can't just call or text when the mood strikes. Oh, I speak to her everyday and expect I will do so until I can join her. Still the need to say that final goodbye is strong. And isn't that what that Celebration of Life really is? In my youth they called those gatherings wakes, although that was usually associated with the Irish. I can't say I ever attended a real wake but I heard stories about them. Anyway people gathered to mourn the loss, not to celebrate the life. At least that is the way I see it. Like everything else, a subtle change taking place over time. It is something my Mother, near ninety now, doesn't understand at all. In her eyes we will be having a party. It is something outside of her norm. I can relate to that and understand the sentiment. There are things that have changed that I also find unsettling. It doesn't make those things wrong, just different. Social conventions do change over time.
So I will go to say that goodbye. It is the last formal goodbye. Privately I will never say goodbye, I just say, she you later, hopefully. I do think it is presumptuous to believe I will gain admittance. That's why I pray and try my best to be pleasing in the eyes of my God. I'm hopeful. It's a change I have written about in the past. A lot of folks attend church today as a celebrant whereas I go as a supplicant. My thinking is I go into the house of the Lord as a guest. Proper attire and being attentive to your host is required. I go there asking for favors, not to have a party. As I said, a subtle difference perhaps, and one way is not superior to the other, just different. I do think these celebrations of life are easier to deal with emotionally. The tone is definitely less somber. The same could be said for the more modern worship services. A bit more relaxed, informal so to speak. Sincerity is not linked to formality, I know that, but in my feelings they are. Do you know what I mean by that? I suppose it goes back to my childhood. When I was young you raised your hand to speak in class, you addressed adults as Mr. or Mrs. , you got dressed up for church and you followed the rules! You didn't get to protest or demand explanations. Children were to be seen and not heard. Children did not question adults! And most importantly, in the eyes of God you are a child. I learned early on when asking adults for something it was best to be polite. Do not assume anything. I didn't go to Dad celebrating, expecting that bicycle, I went contritely and respectfully. I feel the same way about being granted eternal life.
Traditions and conventions change over time. I think that happens when the younger folks become uncomfortable with them. They change the tradition to suit their sensibilities. It happens slowly, almost unnoticed by many. It is only when you reach a certain age that it becomes evident to you. It is then you have to decide to either accept or reject the new tradition, the new social conventions. It helps to understand you cannot change them, there is no reverting back to the old ways. Do we change our traditions for convenience? I believe a great deal of the time that is the case. Formality requires structure and that can be restraining. Informality, by its' very nature, provides more freedom of expression. If it is informal, it's more about you. That is my impression anyway. And I believe that is why the shift takes place.
You could say the law is a formality. Laws were intended to be strict guidelines for living within the society. Then we have lawyers whose purpose is to do what? Interpret those laws, providing some freedom from them. Laws can be inconvenient. For that reason they get changed or eliminated altogether. As sensibilities change, so too the law. Traditions and conventions are social laws in a manner of speaking. When they become inconvenient or restrictive, they get changed. Whether it is for the better or not is all a matter of opinion. To those of us that see a cherished tradition being modified it can be unsettling. To the ones doing the changing, it's a good thing, as their feeling is the sentiment hasn't changed. That is what traditions are, sentiments. Are you concerned with displaying the proper sentiment? If so, what is it?
So I will go to say that goodbye. It is the last formal goodbye. Privately I will never say goodbye, I just say, she you later, hopefully. I do think it is presumptuous to believe I will gain admittance. That's why I pray and try my best to be pleasing in the eyes of my God. I'm hopeful. It's a change I have written about in the past. A lot of folks attend church today as a celebrant whereas I go as a supplicant. My thinking is I go into the house of the Lord as a guest. Proper attire and being attentive to your host is required. I go there asking for favors, not to have a party. As I said, a subtle difference perhaps, and one way is not superior to the other, just different. I do think these celebrations of life are easier to deal with emotionally. The tone is definitely less somber. The same could be said for the more modern worship services. A bit more relaxed, informal so to speak. Sincerity is not linked to formality, I know that, but in my feelings they are. Do you know what I mean by that? I suppose it goes back to my childhood. When I was young you raised your hand to speak in class, you addressed adults as Mr. or Mrs. , you got dressed up for church and you followed the rules! You didn't get to protest or demand explanations. Children were to be seen and not heard. Children did not question adults! And most importantly, in the eyes of God you are a child. I learned early on when asking adults for something it was best to be polite. Do not assume anything. I didn't go to Dad celebrating, expecting that bicycle, I went contritely and respectfully. I feel the same way about being granted eternal life.
Traditions and conventions change over time. I think that happens when the younger folks become uncomfortable with them. They change the tradition to suit their sensibilities. It happens slowly, almost unnoticed by many. It is only when you reach a certain age that it becomes evident to you. It is then you have to decide to either accept or reject the new tradition, the new social conventions. It helps to understand you cannot change them, there is no reverting back to the old ways. Do we change our traditions for convenience? I believe a great deal of the time that is the case. Formality requires structure and that can be restraining. Informality, by its' very nature, provides more freedom of expression. If it is informal, it's more about you. That is my impression anyway. And I believe that is why the shift takes place.
You could say the law is a formality. Laws were intended to be strict guidelines for living within the society. Then we have lawyers whose purpose is to do what? Interpret those laws, providing some freedom from them. Laws can be inconvenient. For that reason they get changed or eliminated altogether. As sensibilities change, so too the law. Traditions and conventions are social laws in a manner of speaking. When they become inconvenient or restrictive, they get changed. Whether it is for the better or not is all a matter of opinion. To those of us that see a cherished tradition being modified it can be unsettling. To the ones doing the changing, it's a good thing, as their feeling is the sentiment hasn't changed. That is what traditions are, sentiments. Are you concerned with displaying the proper sentiment? If so, what is it?
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