I have written, " accept history for what it was, not for what you wish it could have been. " That thought came to me in response to what is happening in our country today. This rewriting of history to suit an agenda or to soothe ruffled feathers. You can tear down statues, dismiss traditions as old fashioned and cite statistics all you want, none of it changes the truth. Restitution, retribution or simple revenge will not change history either. It may serve to provide a momentary relief, a brief respite, but the injury remains. You have to accept what was. As I often point out context is everything. I don't believe anyone can understand the reasoning of 100 years ago based on todays' cultural norms. At various times in history norms included, dueling, suicide, placing people in the stocks, shunning and all manner of punishments. The code of Chivalry is a prime example. It is romanticized in literature and the movies but was serious business back then. Can we understand that motivation? I don't believe that is possible.
I do think that bit of advice applies to our own past as well. We all tend to get nostalgic for the good old days. Nothing wrong with that as long as we keep it in context. Nothing wrong with that as long as we are honest with ourselves and our emotions. To enjoy peace with your past is the greatest comfort a man can have. That isn't to say there weren't mistakes, errors in judgement, and actions we wish we could take back, quite the contrary. The ability to understand those actions is what will give you peace. Some call that self forgiveness. Forgive yourself for bad decisions or hasty responses? Forgiveness is something received. Can you offer that to yourself? Yes, I believe you can. I also wrote, " Listening is the avenue to understanding" and I believe in that as well. You do have to listen to others as well as listen to yourself. I tend to have entire conversations with myself, I should listen a bit more. I can be quite convincing at times, or so I'm told.
Now having reached the mid point of my sixth decade I have come to accept a few things. Things aren't always what they appear, or what I remember. It isn't a failure of memory however, the failure stems from a lack of understanding. I'm not saying conspiracies abound, that others are self serving and motivated in any bad way, that's not it. I am saying I have discovered that I owe myself more than I thought. I have discovered that I have inherent value not only to others, but to myself. That's something you pay a therapist to teach you, from what I hear. I can't speak from first hand experience though having never talked with a therapist. My problem with that is I question whether the therapist knows what they are talking about. You can't learn " life " in any college. I believe those lessons are taught by life, not by academia. But that is another discussion for another day. Define the difference between eccentric and crazy. Context is what defines that relationship. Context defines all relationships. You can either live with reality, or create it. It is in that realm that context lives. Which world do you live in?
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