Just because you're mad, doesn't mean I'm wrong. Now that is a bit of wisdom it has taken years to come to understand. It is a lesson learned the hard way, a life lesson. You see, back in my youth I was taught that other peoples' feelings mattered. If I was making others mad, it was probably the result of wrongdoing on my part. I still feel that is the case most of the time. As a result I have made concessions over the years, acts of compromise, and carried guilt around. I still do and will continue to do so. I don't believe I could change that even if I tried. But with a new awareness I can change my reaction. I can shed some guilt. Just because you're mad, doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Remember when you were a child? Remember when your parents said, " this is for your own good? " That is what they were talking about. Just because you were mad, that didn't make them wrong. When I was a kid my father always said, " this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you, " right before I got a spanking. I never believed that, and joked about it for many years. I understand what he was saying, what wisdom he was trying to impart. He did have to carry the burden of having punished me. Did it bother him? Not the point here. What he was trying to teach was awareness. Nowadays they would call it tough love, or at least a few years back they did, not sure what they call it now, probably abuse! I recall when I first heard about this concept of " time out. " I thought, I didn't get a time out, time waits for no man and punishment was swift and sure! Reward was given the same way. There were no big ceremonies, no trophies handed out, just a star pasted to your paper or a firm handshake for a job well done. Punishment and reward. That was the two states that existed in my world. And most of the time the reward was not being punished! I can remember Dad being mad, but I didn't get punished because I wasn't wrong. Just because he was mad it didn't make me wrong. Remembering those occasions still make me smile.
I'm thinking there are an awful lot of folks that don't understand this at all. That is the only reason I can fathom for some of the actions I witness everyday. All this protesting, yelling, expletives flying, foul mouthed behavior is nothing but anger. Somehow people have gotten this notion that if I can show you how angry I am, that will make them right. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, the expectation is the " grownups " will relent just to shut them up. The same people trying that method are then surprised when bad things happen to them. They are appalled at the violence. The violence they have incited! They just don't get it. Just because you are angry, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It is the bully tactic, plain and simple. I'm mad, I'm threatening, and I will not relent.
As with all things in life you do have to make a choice. In the end there is no escaping that. Oh you can blame others for the choice you make but you still make that choice. An old adage from my childhood comes to mind, you made your bed now lie in it. Whether you are comfortable in that bed or not is also your choice. What is comfy to me may not be for others, and that is alright. It doesn't mean I made the bed wrong. My suggestion? Well, I really can't advise you on that, you have to make that choice on your own. The biggest fallacy in all of that is, the bigger man always concedes.
Remember when you were a child? Remember when your parents said, " this is for your own good? " That is what they were talking about. Just because you were mad, that didn't make them wrong. When I was a kid my father always said, " this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you, " right before I got a spanking. I never believed that, and joked about it for many years. I understand what he was saying, what wisdom he was trying to impart. He did have to carry the burden of having punished me. Did it bother him? Not the point here. What he was trying to teach was awareness. Nowadays they would call it tough love, or at least a few years back they did, not sure what they call it now, probably abuse! I recall when I first heard about this concept of " time out. " I thought, I didn't get a time out, time waits for no man and punishment was swift and sure! Reward was given the same way. There were no big ceremonies, no trophies handed out, just a star pasted to your paper or a firm handshake for a job well done. Punishment and reward. That was the two states that existed in my world. And most of the time the reward was not being punished! I can remember Dad being mad, but I didn't get punished because I wasn't wrong. Just because he was mad it didn't make me wrong. Remembering those occasions still make me smile.
I'm thinking there are an awful lot of folks that don't understand this at all. That is the only reason I can fathom for some of the actions I witness everyday. All this protesting, yelling, expletives flying, foul mouthed behavior is nothing but anger. Somehow people have gotten this notion that if I can show you how angry I am, that will make them right. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, the expectation is the " grownups " will relent just to shut them up. The same people trying that method are then surprised when bad things happen to them. They are appalled at the violence. The violence they have incited! They just don't get it. Just because you are angry, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It is the bully tactic, plain and simple. I'm mad, I'm threatening, and I will not relent.
As with all things in life you do have to make a choice. In the end there is no escaping that. Oh you can blame others for the choice you make but you still make that choice. An old adage from my childhood comes to mind, you made your bed now lie in it. Whether you are comfortable in that bed or not is also your choice. What is comfy to me may not be for others, and that is alright. It doesn't mean I made the bed wrong. My suggestion? Well, I really can't advise you on that, you have to make that choice on your own. The biggest fallacy in all of that is, the bigger man always concedes.
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