I ran across this quote from John Barrymore. " A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams. " I considered that carefully and have decided I agree with him. I read a short biography of the man and discovered his life was, in the end, tragic. He was an alcoholic and that addiction overcame him. I couldn't help but wonder if that quote was a reflection of that. By all accounts he began drinking at an early age and his true aspiration was to be an artist. He never fulfilled that dream although he did become a superstar of stage and film. Indeed the name Barrymore is still associated with greatness. His bio says it was drink that ruined him, perhaps it was regret. Was it regret that made him drink so? We will never know the answers but can learn from the question.
That particular quote struck a chord within me. My daughter in laws father, Tom, lived to be eight nine. His tombstone was inscribed, by his request, with the words, " I have no regrets. " I knew the man in life and I believe him. I only knew him as an older gentlemen, his eyesight was failing him. I could see the man that he was in youth, a big strapping fellow. He struck me as a man of determined will. Perhaps he knew this quote, or perhaps he was just imparting some wisdom he had learned from a life well lived. As to any dreams the man may have entertained I can not say. That he loved his family was without question. Tom surely had addressed any regrets he may have had, and it could be that is why he insisted that be written in stone.
I believe we all live with some regret. I don't believe that can be avoided. Hindsight is 20/20 after all and so it is that hindsight that may bring regret. But we shouldn't allow the past to control the future, to control our dreams. Regret stems from your conscience. Regret stems from a failure of self discipline. When we allow ourselves to act contrary to our conscience the result is always regret. That is something that happens frequently with the passion of youth and inexperience. Regret can not reside within a clear conscience. For John Barrymore his lack of self discipline, his alcoholism, caused much regret and aged him prematurely. By all accounts a life tragically lived because of a dream unfulfilled. That is what the biographers say anyway. I say it was an excuse. That is what the majority of us seek, an excuse. Never in the history of man has this become more evident than in todays' world. Masquerading as understanding and compassion, we reinforce this notion that it isn't our fault. Addiction is a disease, not a lack of self discipline. In that way we can dismiss regret. But I don't believe that. It's a sham, a farce and endorsed more for profit than any sense of empathy. No drug, no treatment plan, can erase a guilty conscience. That forgiveness can only come from you, from understanding your intentions and motivations.
I watch the news daily and hear all the reports. We are a nation that is losing our sense of self discipline. We are becoming so concerned with our rights, that we forgetting what is right! We are dismissing that knowledge as old fashioned and outdated. What of our national conscience? Just where does that originate? Conscience comes from the people, not from legislation. When those that legislate abandon their conscience in favor of personal gain the result is what you are seeing now. There is no self discipline. The attempt is to please all the people, all of the time, an impossibility. Like a parent spoiling a child, infractions are ignored, rewards are given. Rights are withheld being replaced with entitlements. The illusion being entitlements are rights! But entitlement is a function of government, whereas a right is a personal thing. And rights being a personal thing do not require government intervention in their exercise. What is required is self discipline.
All of this was precipitated by a simple quote. It caused a conversation with myself. I have found that the older I get, the more I enjoy talking to myself. Now if only I could get myself to listen. I do like sharing these conversations. I hope they start conversation with others, talking to themselves. It's something I have noticed, when trying to have a conversation with another person, they always want to interrupt! Doesn't happen when I'm talking to myself, at least not yet it doesn't. I'll have to guard against that. I do have regrets. I'll have to work on that, lest I grow old.
That particular quote struck a chord within me. My daughter in laws father, Tom, lived to be eight nine. His tombstone was inscribed, by his request, with the words, " I have no regrets. " I knew the man in life and I believe him. I only knew him as an older gentlemen, his eyesight was failing him. I could see the man that he was in youth, a big strapping fellow. He struck me as a man of determined will. Perhaps he knew this quote, or perhaps he was just imparting some wisdom he had learned from a life well lived. As to any dreams the man may have entertained I can not say. That he loved his family was without question. Tom surely had addressed any regrets he may have had, and it could be that is why he insisted that be written in stone.
I believe we all live with some regret. I don't believe that can be avoided. Hindsight is 20/20 after all and so it is that hindsight that may bring regret. But we shouldn't allow the past to control the future, to control our dreams. Regret stems from your conscience. Regret stems from a failure of self discipline. When we allow ourselves to act contrary to our conscience the result is always regret. That is something that happens frequently with the passion of youth and inexperience. Regret can not reside within a clear conscience. For John Barrymore his lack of self discipline, his alcoholism, caused much regret and aged him prematurely. By all accounts a life tragically lived because of a dream unfulfilled. That is what the biographers say anyway. I say it was an excuse. That is what the majority of us seek, an excuse. Never in the history of man has this become more evident than in todays' world. Masquerading as understanding and compassion, we reinforce this notion that it isn't our fault. Addiction is a disease, not a lack of self discipline. In that way we can dismiss regret. But I don't believe that. It's a sham, a farce and endorsed more for profit than any sense of empathy. No drug, no treatment plan, can erase a guilty conscience. That forgiveness can only come from you, from understanding your intentions and motivations.
I watch the news daily and hear all the reports. We are a nation that is losing our sense of self discipline. We are becoming so concerned with our rights, that we forgetting what is right! We are dismissing that knowledge as old fashioned and outdated. What of our national conscience? Just where does that originate? Conscience comes from the people, not from legislation. When those that legislate abandon their conscience in favor of personal gain the result is what you are seeing now. There is no self discipline. The attempt is to please all the people, all of the time, an impossibility. Like a parent spoiling a child, infractions are ignored, rewards are given. Rights are withheld being replaced with entitlements. The illusion being entitlements are rights! But entitlement is a function of government, whereas a right is a personal thing. And rights being a personal thing do not require government intervention in their exercise. What is required is self discipline.
All of this was precipitated by a simple quote. It caused a conversation with myself. I have found that the older I get, the more I enjoy talking to myself. Now if only I could get myself to listen. I do like sharing these conversations. I hope they start conversation with others, talking to themselves. It's something I have noticed, when trying to have a conversation with another person, they always want to interrupt! Doesn't happen when I'm talking to myself, at least not yet it doesn't. I'll have to guard against that. I do have regrets. I'll have to work on that, lest I grow old.
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