parting thoughts

 If your belief requires others to believe it, perhaps your belief isn't as strong as you believe. That's my thought regarding those that demand others affirm their belief. Is a belief only valid when others believe it? How important, to you, is it that others know what you believe and agree with that belief? What I'm asking is, are you willing to believe alone? That surely is the ultimate test of commitment isn't it? To stand firm in your belief even when opposed. That is the stuff of martyrs. Something to be admired. But, only admired when others agree with what the person believes! 

 I do enjoy writing and thinking about theological things. God is a mystery. I have shared, perhaps too many times if that is possible, what I believe. It has made some folks uncomfortable, angered some, and dare I dream, inspired some to seek answers. My thoughts and opinions are only that, my thoughts and my opinions. I share them as much for myself as for the benefit of others. The truth is, I probably receive more from the exercise than those reading the posts. That's fine with me I really have no expectations that anyone will be transformed by my words. I also have no need for others to agree with what I write, or believe. I don't see posting my blogs on religious, political, or social issues as imposing those views on anyone. You can choose to read or not. 

 This is the last day of the year. The last posting for 2018. I have mentioned in the past how I was born in July so January is a half way point for me. My years began in the month of July. January is six months later. For that reason I feel that is when the clock was set. I do believe our days are numbered and we will pass into the next world on schedule. For me, the numbers start in July. I celebrate the year on my birthday. Isn't that why that day is special in the first place? I was born and the world should rejoice with me. Yes, birthdays are a self serving thing. You did nothing to earn it, yet reap the reward. I see Jan 1 2019 as marking 65 and one half years of my existence. The physical world does begin and end with my consciousness. I admit I don't remember much about the first five years, and I admit that now some years after that are getting a little difficult to recall with complete clarity. I have found writing these blogs has helped with that. I have also found that everything wasn't always as it seemed to be. There is much gloss and polish to life. I think man requires that.

 Happy New Year to all that celebrate the occasion on Jan 1st. Time is a subjective thing. I'll leave you this day with a thought written by Martin Luther. He was excommunicated from the Holy Roman Church if you recall your history lessons from high school. Martin Luther said, " Every man must do two things alone, he must do his own believing and his own dying. " These are my parting thoughts this year, a new year begins tomorrow, at least on the calendar it does. It's just that it is all so subjective. But then again, what's a year or two when we are talking about eternity.  

 

inequity

 " Do not attempt to justify the inequities of life with moral and religious beliefs, those things are transient, it is the inequities that are the constant." ( A.B. Reichart )
 Another thought I had along those same lines is, "adjust to reality, for reality will not adjust to you." Reality adjusts itself to time. The same is true for moral and religious beliefs. I dare say, one influences the other. Moral and religious beliefs do not alter reality, that which is present at the moment. Regardless of what we wish things to be, there remains , what is. It is that, that we must learn to accept and deal with. History is the study of what was, not what we wish it could have been. The inequities committed by our ancestors can not be rectified today. The best we can hope for is those inequities not be repeated.
 An old adage says, bad things happen to good people. We often find ourselves questioning why that should be so. The answer is simple enough, it is reality. Not a very satisfying answer, no explanation is given, but the answer is valid. " Do not attempt to justify the inequities in life with moral and religious beliefs, those things are transient, it is the inequities that are the constant. " That is reality. It will not change to suit you. Our moral and religious beliefs serve only us. That is a stark reality, one that many fail to recognize. I can not impose those beliefs upon anyone else. All I can do is share them, it is up to the other person to accept them. Should they choose not to accept those beliefs it doesn't diminish their value to me.
 I am aware that inequity will exist, regardless of any attempt I may make to eradicate it. The only thing I can change is my response to those inequities. Whether it be as simple as turning the other cheek or taking affirmative action, that is the best I can do. Morality and religious belief are transient in nature, dependent upon society. That is plainly evident with any review of history. What were considered moral virtues yesterday, have been discarded. It has always been so, reality again rears it head. The ability to adjust to reality is the struggle all moral and religious people face. Some choose to discard those moral and religious beliefs altogether. The majority will eventually modify those beliefs in response to reality. The path chosen is dependent upon the expectations of the believer. Should results be immediate? Or is the reward beyond this mortal plain? The bigger question is, when we practice our moral and religious belief are we doing so for the benefit of others, or for ourselves? Is it possible that we are being selfish in our beliefs? Is it wrong to modify those beliefs in response to reality? Depends doesn't it? If your personal attainment of entry to heaven, or whatever you fathom the afterlife to be, is more important than the welfare of others the answer has to be yes. If what you believe is that you must adhere to certain inflexible laws issued by a higher authority, that governs all of mankind, the answer would have to be, yes.
 What we need to answer is a basic question. Has God changed since the creation of man? Is he or she the same God today, as he or she was millennia ago?  For the believer that answer must be yes. Have those laws changed? That answer must be , no. Is that the reality? We won't know that until after our passing is my belief. I can not know that answer. What we do know, for a certainty, is that inequity has always existed among men. It is my thinking that it will always be so. For that reason I believe my moral and religious practices are for my benefit alone. A personal choice. It is those choices that will determine my ultimate destination. I do know it is far easier to tell others how to live their life than to direct your own. Another inequity? It does beg the question, are we all equal in death? In this reality it would certainly seem so. 

Epistemic belief

 We should life our lives according to the word of God. That is what a Christian is taught and comes to believe. It is something we call faith. Trust is another word to describe this feeling. We must learn to trust our God, that he is all knowing, wise and undeniable in his truth. I believe this is what all religions teach their followers as well. No matter the name of the God or Gods, no matter the ideology of those teachings, the message certainly has to be the same, follow your God.
 The challenge to all men is the same. To believe in and follow the word of your God, while living with the words of men. In one form or another we all live in subjugation to other men. That is the reality of living. Men form governments to govern the actions of other men. Those same men may or may not follow the words of the same God. This is where the problems begin. Even when men agree on a common God, they seldom agree on exactly what that God said. Denominations are formed.         There is a common denominator, the belief in God, but " values "are quite variable throughout. Among men, there have always been those that don't believe as well. That is another variable. It is for that basic reason that Government must be a secular organization. It is for that very reason the founding Fathers created that separation of Church and State that is so widely quoted and spoke of today. They were all too well aware of what happens when the leader of a nation begins to use the word of GOD to govern. It becomes personal! They understood that belief in God, Gods, or non-belief for that matter is a personal thing and can not be applied to more than one person at a time: you!
 That's correct and a basic tenet one needs to understand. Are we not taught that he is our God? Are we not taught we need to accept him on a personal basis? He is our God! Are we told to share our God with anyone else? No, we are told to share our love of our God and encourage others to accept him as their PERSONAL lord and savior. God is a personal thing that is dependent upon personal belief. For that reason you can not govern a people using that belief. To attempt to do so would be in violation of the very belief you want others to accept, at least if you are a Christian it would. The ideologies of other religions do not contain the same tenets and are therefore exempt.
 Now these thoughts came about during a discussion I was having yesterday. It concerns the building of the border wall. But as with most discussion the topics wandered around and the original posting was lost in the shuffle somewhere. I'll take the blame for that as my thoughts do wander around as I like to look at things from many angles. In general the thought being discussed was whether we ( the United States ) should have open borders and just allow anyone to enter at anytime. The general argument I got concerned our Christian belief in taking care of our fellow man. It is at that point I presented my thoughts about the separation Church and State. The individual I was talking with is quite well versed in the words of the Bible, and I'm certain has a strong faith and belief in those words. My contention was Government, by necessity, must be secular. Government is a separate and distinct entity but composed of individuals. It is my hope the majority of those individuals would share my Christian beliefs and act upon them accordingly. Despite arguments to the contrary I do believe our Government is predominately controlled by Christians. Therefore Christian principles are the predominant factor in determining legislation. In recent years I would have to say that isn't nearly as true as in years past, but that is another discussion all in itself. Think Roe V Wade. A Christian precedent? No, definitely a secular one. That's my Christian opinion anyway.
 One point I was trying to make, I'm afraid I wasn't clear enough, was that we as individuals have our belief but government, as a whole, does not share that belief. For that reason quoting the words of the Bible can not be construed as the words of Government. In other words, Government legislation can never be the Bible or vice-versa. Islam has tried that, they call it Sharia law. That law is only applicable to Muslims. It is also the justification for taking whatever actions they deem necessary to " convert " others to their religion. There is no separation of Church and State in those countries. You can judge the result for yourselves. I mention that not to disparage any Muslims but as an example of what I am talking about.
 Our government is a government of the people, by the people and for the people. John Adams famously stated, " Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. " I believe he was referring to the first amendment to that constitution. He understood completely what that amendment was saying. You can't rule the nation with the Christian Bible or any other " Bible " for that matter. It is that amendment that established that separation of Church and State. It is plain, Government is a secular thing. His thought was, our constitution is totally inadequate to the governing of any people that are not moral and religious people. That is simply because our people are the government! It's a fine distinction that requires  acute observation to see. The constitution is secular! Therefore, the people must be moral and religious to make it work. The issue being, what God, what religion, what moral authority other than your own personal belief? That is what is not delineated in that constitution or its' amendments. John Adams also wrote, " A government of laws, not of men. " What was he saying there? Government is law, not men. Government must set aside your personal  Gods' words and live by law. That is true even when all men believe in the same God because not all men interpret the words the same. Yes, men do litigate Gods' laws and that is central to the issue at hand.
 You have those that are thoroughly versed in every word and chapter in the Christian Bible. Those words are in over two thousand languages and hundreds of versions. It is no wonder that those words , phrases and thoughts would be understood in different ways by different peoples and cultures. I don't see how it could be any other way. So, how do we determine exactly what it says? By personal belief is the short answer. Groups formed to litigate those words. I used the example in my discussion  when Jesus says, give unto Caesar the things that are Caesars and unto God that things that are Gods'. I took that to mean, obey the law of Caesar and of God. Another example I like to use is, Go and sin no more. I take that to mean, don't do that again! It doesn't mean you can just keep on sinning and I will forgive you every time. These are the types of things I'm talking about when it comes to litigating the word of God. There will be those that can hurl more quotes back at you in an attempt to sway your view, there will be those that agree, and there will be those that don't believe any of it.
 In the end we are left with litigation, plain and simple. There can be no litigation, no compromise when one party believes wholeheartedly in a single precept. What that precept is, isn't the issue though. It s the interpretation of that precept that causes all the problems. Boiled down to, practice what you preach! I'm afraid we all fall short in that category. I'm not excluded from any of that, I'm just a man like all others. My belief is just as valid as yours. For that reason we can not legislate on belief, rather we must legislate on fact. I must set aside my belief in favor of fact for the better good of the whole. That, to me, is a Christian precept. I have no right to press my beliefs upon you. When I determine that I do, that is the point where it becomes an ideology. Just what is the epistemic standard? Is it the word of God, as understood by you? As a Christian that is what I was taught. Does that entitle me to impose my belief upon you? No, it doesn't and that is why the separation of Church and State.  

Is anyone paying attention?

 Is no one paying attention? That is a question I had to ask when reading a local news story. The headline read, Maryland Country to end agreement with ICE. Opening the article I read further. Anne Arundel county had signed an agreement with ICE to check the immigration status of those they have detained. That means if you were arrested they would check to see if you are in the country legally.  That was to take place only after the person was detained, not just randomly checking anyone they had contact with. Well, Anne Arundel county got a new leader and will not renew that deal. The reasoning behind this is what I found puzzling and begs the question, is no one paying attention?
 First he said, it was the job of ICE to check their immigration status and Anne Arundel county wouldn't be doing ICE job anymore. So you're saying if a policeman arrests you , he doesn't have to know if you are a citizen of this country? You don't have to show ID? I can just tell you my name and that's good enough. Strange I have to show ID to buy a pack of cigarettes or a six pack, but being arrested, eh, I'll take your word for it.
 Another concern this county executive expressed was building trust within the community. The illegals in the county need to know that the police won't be arresting them just because they are breaking the law! That's right, just because you are in the county/country illegally that's no reason to believe you will be in trouble. C'mon, we will arrest and prosecute you for some crimes, but not that one, you can trust us. The article went on to say that since December of 2017  193 foreign nationals were arrested. Sixty nine out of those 193 were illegals. Those numbers don't show where it is of any benefit to the county. It doesn't improve the safety and security of the county. For that reason it isn't worth checking their status.
 But look at those numbers. Out of 193 arrests, 35% were in the country illegally. That's a significant number in my opinion. If I took thirty five cents out of every dollar you made you would think so too! Thirty seven of those arrests were for a violent crime, that's 20%,  better understood as one out of every five ! The article did point out those folks wouldn't be released to ICE but detained and prosecuted! Of course what they didn't say was in the future those folks won't be known to be illegal, they are not going to check, so they will be released, or at least bonded out. Well because if they are released on bond and are in the country illegally they will surely return for trial.
 Another argument presented for not signing this agreement with ICE to check the immigration status of detainees was, " it doesn't help identify dangerous or violent criminals." That is the exact words from the article. Excuse me, 20% of those arrested since December of 2017 committed a violent crime. Are those 20% not violent criminals? You know, the ones you won't release to ICE because they are violent criminals! Are you not paying attention here? 20% is one in five!!!!! Seems like that would be a significant help in identifying dangerous and violent criminals. Oh that's right, I forgot. Being in the country illegally isn't breaking the law, it's something else. It's alright to do that as far as Anne Arundel County is concerned that's someone else's job to figure out. We will only detain the violent ones, even when we don't know if they immigration status! Now, that's being tough on crime!
 The article concluded by explaining the county will continue to detain 130 inmates over the age of 18. They are illegals. Why are they continuing to hold them? Well it seems there is an agreement between Anne Arundel county and ICE after all. ICE pays Anne Arundel County 118 dollars a day per inmate. Comes to over four million a year. The reasoning, it is the most humane way to detain these illegals. Anne Arundel County says it uses that money for " public safety " and, here's the real kicker, legal defense of the detainees! That's correct. Ice pays Anne Arundel County to detain these illegals, Anne Arundel County then uses a portion of that money for the legal defense of said detainees. So basically, Ice is paying to detain them and paying to get them released! Is no one paying attention! And then people ask me why I get so mad! And yes, it is the Democrats. Oh, they did say that doesn't mean Anne Arundel County is a sanctuary county, they just won't ask!
 Were you paying attention? Does any of this make sense to you? If it does please explain it to me, I'm confused, and I'm paying attention! The bottom line is this, the taxpayers are paying the police, the taxpayers are funding the prisons, and in some cases the taxpayers are funding the defense of these prisoners. But it isn't a sanctuary county?  

Old school cool

 Since having a cardiac event, as the television commercials like to call that stuff, I have taken up a regular exercise program. Regular for me anyway, I try for three times a week, with exceptions at my discretion. I'll get back on a more stable schedule after the holidays, isn't that that always the plan? Of course the weather will factor into all of this, I'm not making excuses here just being realistic. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. The important thing is I'm exercising. I joined the others at what I call the geriatric gym! Most of them look a lot older than me though and not as fit. You know what I mean, I'm sure you feel the same way when comparing yourself to others of your age.
 The hospital calls it the cardiac rehabilitation unit. I admit that sounds a bit better than a geriatric gym, although a little foreboding. At first I went as a part of therapy. I was ordered by my doctor to do so. I admit I wasn't too excited about that, but if you're paying a doctor, or anyone else for that matter, for advice, you are foolish not to follow it, so off I went. Turned out it wasn't so bad. I read somewhere that endorphins would make me feel good after exercise. I admit I don't feel bad and for a short time you could even say, I felt a bit of the old machismo, a little swagger in my step. That's quickly replaced by the need for a nap though, I call it the recovery period. I read where that is very important as well. maybe the most important part! I've lost about twenty pounds since I started this so that's a good thing.
 Now I'm telling you this because of an incident with my granddaughter. Well, it was an incident to me, not so much for her. I have purchased some workout gear. Being a reasonable and realistic person I bought the traditional grey sweat pants and sweatshirt. You know the kind, the elastic around the ankles and the drawstring waist. The sweatshirt is just that plain grey one without any graphics on it. I had that outfit on when I returned from my workout yesterday. I had a small chore to do at my son's house and so headed directly over there. This chore shouldn't take but a minute or two. I went inside and directly to the chore at hand. I was right, only took a minute. I'm getting ready to leave when my granddaughter jumps up from the couch where she was sitting, phone in hand and says, Grandpa what are you wearing? She is taking my picture with that phone and laughing. I say to her, it's my workout gear. Her Mom is sitting on the couch smiling and says Grandpa just came from the gym. After some more laughter Morgan makes some remark, which I didn't quite catch, about my outfit. Feeling a little annoyed I tell her , " I'm old school cool " and that's why I wear this stuff. If it worked for Rocky Balboa it works for me. Hey I'm wearing Adidas athletic shoes, not sneakers you know.  I have no idea what she expected me to be wearing other than I guess she was surprised I go to the gym. You'd think she would have known that by now though. Kids.
 As I said I've been going to the geriatric gym for a while now. Many of my fellow workout partners are just dressed in loose fitting jeans, shorts or whatever. There was one gentleman that came wearing bicycle shorts, those spandex looking things and it did present, shall we say, an interesting appearance. I hope he is well as I haven't seen him lately. It was that image that made me realize that what you are wearing does have to be adjusted according to your age and fitness level. For that reason I figure I'm old school cool. I think I can pull that off. Jumpsuits like Jack LaLanne wore certainly wouldn't cut it! I'm not that old anyway, or that brave.
  My daughter in law gifted me a pair of blue tooth earbuds for Christmas. Tried them out yesterday and they are awesome. So you see it is a mixture of old school cool and modern technology. I do like to listen to music while working out. Yes, I'm listening to the oldies! Good old rock and roll will get the juices flowing.
 You know that's the thing about my generation. The one before us is called the greatest generation and I agree with that wholeheartedly. Those folks took to calling us the baby boomers. Well what they didn't know back then was what we would become. We are the " coolest " generation. We have seen and done it all, everyone after us trying to recreate the cool we created, and failing miserably. We have partied so hard for so long the kids today are concerned with saving the planet! Rock On. There is no cool like " old school cool. "
        

Race or Rule

 I have seen this news story several times and am left a bit puzzled, and a bit annoyed. It is the story about the young wrestler in New Jersey that was told to cut his hair or be disqualified. I'm certain you have heard of this by now. The puzzling part for me is none of the news stories I listened to concerning this explained what the rule is. Not being aware of the rules I naturally want to know that first and foremost. Was the boy in violation of a rule? It's a simple and direct question to me and one that should be answered. Where any other competitors in violation of this same rule? If so, where they instructed to cut their hair? I didn't hear anything about that in any news reporting either. What I did hear was this boy had dreadlocks and the official may be a racist! That may be the motivation for making him cut his hair. So, to me I want to know first and foremost, is this Rules related or Race related? That is the central question that needs to be answered in my opinion. The race of the competitor certainly shouldn't influence what the rules are. That is what I am bothered by, the news has not answered that central question at all, instead the news has fed a lot of doubt and supposition about the motivation. Listening to the news reporters and " expert " testimony from collegiate level and an Olympic champion wrestler all I came away with was, the official must be a racist! Strangely the Olympic wrestler even said, I'm not certain of what the rules for this match were, but he had dreadlocks and that was probably why. So I'm hearing if you have dreadlocks you are being discriminated against, automatically! Couldn't be anything else.
 Now I've heard the argument that he made it this far in the competition without having to cut his hair, so why now? A valid question and one I have no answer for. The only answer I can propose is supposition. Was his hair in dreadlocks before? Was his hair fastened in some other fashion? Or did it just go unnoticed by every other official? I don't know. But, to me, the bottom line remains, was it in violation of a rule? That is the sole consideration to be made. Surely there were other officials there that could have provided insight and the answer to that question. Not seeing any reports of other officials protesting this ruling, or indeed the boys coach filing any formal complaint and standing idly by as a woman with scissors cut those dreadlocks off, leads me to believe there was a violation. But I have to stress the fact that I just don't know because the news hasn't reported on that at all. All that is being reported is that a black kid with dreadlocks was made to cut them off before he could wrestle! A bit of a slanted view? I think it is, and I think it is irresponsible reporting. The news managed to dig up an allegation made over two years against this same official for using a racial slur against a coach. Well, that's certainly proof positive of his racism isn't it? I mean, people who get angry and use such terms always are. Well, unless you are writing a rap song, then it's just entertainment. But, whatever. Still leaves the question unanswered. Was he in violation of a rule? I don't care about his race, creed, color, gender identity,  past wrestling matches, or whether his hair is in dreadlocks or any other style. Was it in violation of the rules? And then, if it was, why all the fuss? Because of what it looks like? ? Because he was upset that he had to follow the rules? He made the decision to allow his hair to be cut, no one held him down and forced him. Another indication that he may have known about a rule.
 Look all I'm saying here is if we want race relations to get better we had better stop with all this slanted reporting of the news. If this had been a white kid do you really believe the news would have reported it? I highly doubt that. A white kid being made to follow the rules isn't a story in any fashion, unless that kid was someone famous or his parents are. Look at Kaepernick, the media made that all about his race too, and it wasn't. You know it, I know it and few will admit it. But no, the media saw another chance to stir the pot. The main stream media keeps pushing that agenda, if you're black and something bad happens to you, it's because you are black. And usually some white guy is to blame.
 I know I'm not supposed to say such things, makes me a racist. Whatever. All I'm saying is what are the rules? If there is a rule and he was in violation, what is the story? Kid made to cut hair before competing. That's the story. If there was no such rule why did no one else protest this ruling by the official? If they did, I didn't hear anything about it. And the argument he has wrestled like this before? If I am pulled over for speeding can I just tell the police, hey I've sped down this highway plenty of times, and never got a ticket before. Is that a valid reason not to be issued a summons? I don't know it just annoys me. These slanted stories doing nothing but fostering more hate and distrust. Is this what we have come too? Just omit the facts that interfere with the story you want to write? I'm still scratching my head? Was this incident rules related or race related? It really shouldn't be all that hard to determine. After all, rules are written down for a purpose. Let's check the rule book shall we?      

Right now

 Merry Christmas. Two words that express the desire of the world. It is my belief that is the intent of that greeting. The language used isn't important. And when I was little I was told it was Jesus's birthday as well. That is what Christmas is, the birth of the Christ child. Merry Christmas to all ! I knew of the Jewish people, they are still waiting for the arrival of Christ and they celebrate Chanukah or is it Hanukah? I expect the spelling doesn't matter much, it is also the intent that is of importance. Then I heard of Kwanza. I honestly don't know much about it at all. It is an African-American tradition lasting seven days beginning the day after Christmas. It lasts seven days, has seven candles and presents are exchanged. That's about all I know. So, I extend a Happy Kwanza to those that celebrate.
 I was thinking about all of this as I posted my own holiday salutations. I say Merry Christmas. For some that seems like a bold move in todays world. Isn't that the silliest thing you have ever heard of? Extending a greeting of good will to a fellow human being considered risky or brave. I still live in a time when saying Merry Christmas is more of a reflex than a considered offering. I refuse to live in another. Why should I have to think about that? I don't dwell on my belief. I believe that Jesus was born and died just as the Bible teaches. Anyone that knows me would be aware of that and take no offense by a greeting of Merry Christmas. To those that don't know me, I don't know why you would be surprised or offended by that? If I say Merry Christmas to you my intent certainly isn't to offend, isn't that obvious? My intent is to share the joy I feel. Feel free to tell me you celebrate whatever and I will extend the appropriate greeting, no harm, no foul.
 It is Christmas morning and the day awaits. I don't have any small feet racing down the hall, no excited voices. No, I'm here with my wife sipping our coffee and checking social media. The kids will arrive later in the morning, a family gathering. It's not that Hallmark gathering seen in the movies. No, it is real life. I awoke with the thought that this will be my 17th Christmas with my Grandson Mark. He will be 18 in January and soon off to college. I remembered giving him a drum set, only seen on Christmas day, it disappeared shortly after that. Just a little guy then and now so grown. It will be my 16th Christmas with my granddaughter Morgan, now grown to a young lady. She'll be getting her drivers license soon and hoping for a car. Well she'll have to settle for some sugar plums dancing in her head on that one. " Through the years we'll always be together, if the fates allow " is a sobering line from a Christmas classic. Especially so for me this year. And so I leave you with this, " have yourself a merry little Christmas, now. " 

Little things

 I have this little lighter. It was given to me after the passing of my uncle. I have it sitting near me and I smile whenever I notice it there. It's that way with any number of things isn't it? It can be that way with people as well. We have them close by, but they go unnoticed. Then we pause long enough to feel their presence, and we smile. Tis the season for remembering and I do get sentimental at this time. The ghosts of Christmas past will visit. My ghosts usually bring happy memories though, unlike Scrooge and his. That little lighter is engraved with three initials and a date. The initials are those of my uncle. G.L.R. Garnet Leonard Reney, known to me as Uncle Doc. The date? 12-25-49. Christmas 1949, 69 years ago. That little lighter was a gift. My aunt received an identical one from him and that one is in the possession of my brother. Two little things that went unnoticed for many years. Just a simple gift exchanged all those years ago. I don't remember my uncle smoking, but I do remember my aunt having that habit. Seemed like Aunt Bet, short for Betty, always had a cigarette. I have no idea how long each carried and used those lighters. There isn't much sign of wear on either one. I expect they were just little things, carried and used for a while and then set aside, kept close by, but unnoticed.
 But I'm talking about an object here, not a person. I enjoy the object because of the memories I attach to it. It carries the memory of my aunt and uncle. The lighter itself holds no memory for me but rather serves as a medium of such. The initials and the date add much to the story. And, the truth is whatever tales I tell about that lighter are stories, conjecture and supposition on my part. After all, I wasn't even alive on that Christmas morning, I wouldn't arrive for another four years. My uncle never spoke of that lighter, or that Christmas to the best of my knowledge. It wasn't something discussed or particularly memorable most likely. It wasn't their first Christmas as man and wife. They weren't married yet! They would marry on the 26th of August in 1950. That bit of information adds another level to me. Those gifts exchanged 69 years ago were kept close their entire married life, treasured by each, kept close but unnoticed. They were married for fifty three years, my aunt passing in 2003. That little lighter brings a smile to my face and a warm feeling in my soul.
 This Christmas, Christmas present, carries a lot of sorrow with it before it even arrives. I lost my sister December the fourth, this will be the first Christmas without her. It's not that we have spent every Christmas in the physical presence of one another, that is definitely not the case. There were many years we were separated by miles and oceans! I always kept her close and realize only now, how I allowed her to go unnoticed at other times of the year. The reason for that is a basic one, taking things for granted. Once we have received a gift we tend to believe it is ours to enjoy forever. That's true, if we take the time to pay attention. All too often we place that gift in a place for safekeeping, our intentions pure, only to ignore that gift. If we are fortunate we rediscover that gift and feel that joy again, the joy we experienced when we first received that gift. It is a feeling of innocence. Like a gift from Santa Claus himself, it is magical. It's not about the object, it is about the dream.
 I have a gyro, a toy from the good old days. This gyro was purchased for me by my sister. When I was visiting her we went to an antique shop. This shop had quite the eclectic mixture of things. As we strolled through the shop pointing to this object or that, we talked. Do you remember Mom having one of those? These " antiques " were objects we were both familiar with. What does that say? Old radios,sewing machines, and the bric a brac of everyday living. There on a shelf sat that gyro. I remembered having one as a child. I asked my sister if she remembered that and she admitted she did not. It was just an object, unnoticed by her. I remembered it well, at least one similar to that one, and began telling her about it. I told her how it would balance on a string or your finger. I explained to her how it could be part of a stabilizing mechanism. Yeah I started to geek out a bit about it. We separated, she looking at something her husband called her attention to and I staring at other stuff. After leaving the store my sister presented me with that little gyro. I was, and am, tickled to have it. It has now assumed more meaning and I will keep it close. Yes, at times it will go unnoticed, taken for granted, but whenever I see it I will smile. I will smile for the memory of it, for that memory of my sister. Sometimes, no almost every time, it is the littlest things that hold the most.
 It's Christmas eve and I hope you don't find this posting depressing. It was not intended to be so. My sister is here with me, I know that. The sorrow I feel is for myself, my selfish desire to have her close to me one more time. But I have her memory and the gyro. I'm smiling and all is well in the world, it is as it should be. And tonight we all pray, Peace on Earth and Good Will toward men.

Do you remember playing with these? 

No batteries, no power cords, just a piece of string and imagination 

   

My opinion

 And so the big discussion is now about building the wall. The cost is estimated to be 5 Billion dollars. Sounds like a lot of money doesn't it? How does over 100 billion sound?  That is the estimated cost of illegal immigration. That means it is 95% more costly than the cost of building said wall. Strange how the government encourages and in some instances subsidizes solar energy, ie: solar panels and windmills, in an attempt to save even 10% of the cost of conventional energy. And that begs the question, why wouldn't you spend 5 Billion to build a wall that could potentially save many times that amount? A saving of even 10% would be twice the cost of building the wall! And there is no dispute that walls work. 

 The United States spends in excess of 150 Billion a year on overseas bases. That's correct, over 150 Billion a year to maintain military installations in foreign countries. Yet spending 5 billion to construct what basically amounts to a fence on our southern boarder is an issue? How many people in the United States build a fence around their property to keep out unwanted animals and people? We build fences for privacy. We build fences for security. But the country shouldn't do that? Why is that, someone please explain to me why that is wrong? Are we building a fence to say no one can immigrate to our country? No, we are building a wall to say this is our boarder, clearly defined and delineated, you require permission to enter. No different than buying a ticket to the movies really, got a ticket come on in, sneak in and get thrown out! Without that ticket, without that permission you are a trespasser! 

 The government is shut down. Well 25% of it is. Everyone will still get paid, just delayed a bit. Let's not forget this isn't the first time. Obama did the same to get his Obama care package threw. The fact is the government has been shut down 18 times before this since 1976. Ford, Carter, Reagan, George HW Bush and Clinton all shut down the government. All of them trying to get their way! I do think it is disgraceful when the tactic is, I want this and if I don't get it I'll refuse you that. And that is basically what is happening. Trump wants the wall but the Democrats want DACA and a host of other programs. No wall unless they get what they want regardless of any other considerations. 

 Ah but then we are talking about the Federal government and the rule of law. The thing is that law is flexible enough to allow just about anything if you have the correct team of lawyers and judges. Let's not forget the Supreme court only issues their opinion, the Supreme court doesn't write the law. And so in the end it all boils down to a matter of opinion. Spend 5 Billion in the hope of saving 50 Billion? That's if the wall could reduce illegal entry into our country by half. Seems worth it to me, but that's my opinion. Pay me now or pay me later. If you are an investor and realize a 10% return on your investments that is considered good. A return of 7% isn't too shabby either. Yet the Democrats refuse to invest in a wall with the protentional to give a significant return in savings. The same bunch that is telling me to invest in solar, which rarely shows any return at all! I'm told to stay in it for the long haul, keep pouring dollars into that tech. Well, that's their opinion.

 In my opinion, we build the wall. Immigration policy remains pretty much as it is. Apply for a green card, apply for asylum, apply for citizenship, apply for whatever you like. The bottom line is you have to apply and will only be granted entry after you get your ticket! The wall will have a door in it, you need a ticket to pass, simple concept really. If I rob the bank that isn't an undocumented withdrawal no matter how much the need for that money is. If I sneak into a foreign country that doesn't make me an undocumented citizen! What it makes me is a criminal in a foreign land, subject to the jurisdiction of that nation and its' laws. That's my opinion.  

Maybe next year

 I have returned from a quick trip to see my son in New York. It was also a short pause from Facebook and blogging. I didn't miss either one as much as I thought I might. I did manage a hello every morning, I do miss that social interaction. My circle of friends isn't that large and that's the I way  like it. I don't believe it is possible to maintain a great number of friendships at any one time. I find myself stretched as it is. That is simply because I try to actually pay attention to them. It gets harder to remember who said what and what everyone is going through as the years go by. To be honest about it, I never was much of a gossip. Had I been I would be much more informed than I am! Gossip isn't always bad or untruthful you know. Gossip is just knowing other people's business, even when you shouldn't. Or more properly the sharing of that business with everyone. But all of that is of course, Facebook with it's many components. As to the blogging, I still have my opinions and still enjoy sharing them. I have found I am beginning to repeat myself a bit, something I find troubling, I could look at it as consistent but that isn't the feeling I'm getting. I starting to feel like if I'm getting bored with me saying the same old thing, others probably are as well. Like always talking about the weather when you don't have anything else to say, or at least when you know you have nothing in common to talk to that person about. No sense is starting a confrontation, no sense wasting words on deaf ears.
 I do find it a bit sad these days. You have to be careful what you say and how you say it. It's like everyone is super sensitive to everything. The simplest of phrases can cause all sorts of confusion and unease. If we continue on this path, soon no one will be talking to anyone, about anything. We will all be operating in our " safe " spaces. We will have to do so to maintain our sanity! The problem is everyone jumping to conclusions. You hear about " triggers " all the time. When I was young the only triggers I knew where on a gun and Roy Rogers horse. Now saying Merry Christmas, or God Bless you when someone sneezes it can be a trigger. Remember when someone " came out " it meant they went outdoors? Well that isn't what they mean nowadays. And I'm never quite certain about the current term for those with darker skin than myself. I think they are people of color these days but like I said, I'm not certain. All it ever meant to me was a physical description. Yes there are certain social and cultural implications associated with all of that, same as with white people, or are we Caucasians? I'm never quite certain about that either. Of course these days you do get to pick, identify anyway you feel, and that includes gender, or neutrality for that matter. I'm still thinking about the gender neutral situation, there really are only two. Perhaps undecided would be a better term. I don't know, whatever.
 I have found if you excuse yourself from the main stream media and Facebook for even a few days you get a new look. As far as the news goes the bias becomes quite apparent, quite quickly. If Trump said it, did, or is thinking about doing it, it is wrong. Period, end of discussion. I hear our legislators, on both sides of the aisle, arguing like school children and making as good an argument as them too. You're a bully, no I'm not. You're not getting what you want unless I get my way. I'll take the ball and go home, so there. It all sounds so stupid. It's embarrassing. People are resigning from office when they don't agree with the boss. Just quit, that's the new method. Quit, resign, write a book about it and go on the talk show circuit. Makes me want to go into my " safe space " and forget about all of it. There are times I feel like just pulling the covers over my head. But like a car wreck I can't help myself, I have to look. Then I have to comment. I do wish I could afford a cabin on a mountaintop somewhere. All the food and fuel I need. A library of good books and my wife to keep me company. That would be enough, I could even do without the books. But thinking about it I'm not sure that would be a safe space, my wife can be dangerous when riled up! LOL, I'd risk it though. Well maybe next year will be better.
       

Holiday travel

 I'll be going over the river and through the woods today. I'm not going to Grandmothers house though, going to visit my son in upstate New York. It's a drive of a little over six hours or so. Not such a bad drive all told. I'm certainly glad it isn't in a one horse open sleigh! I would have had to have started last week. You know I was listening to Christmas music and the song Sleigh Ride came on. It is one of my favorites. Then I got to thinking about it. Wait a minute you have a single horse pulling a sleigh through a snowstorm? Isn't that a bit cruel? And I'm certain I heard the crack of a whip! So, you're beating that poor animal as well? And I'm supposed to celebrate! Well, gotta say I'm a bit offended by all of that. All the more reason for me to ride in my merry Oldsmobile. Have you heard that song? Well, I reviewed the lyrics and I'm not certain about it either. He is riding in his merry Oldsmobile with Lucille. " Then he says, you can go as far as you like with me, in my merry Oldsmobile. " That's rather suggestive isn't it? To be fair in the prior lyrics he does mention going to the church to get married first. Well that song was written in 1905 so. Later Lucille would pick a fine time to leave Kenny Rogers. I'm thinking that Lucille really gets around! And now I'm being judgmental. And all I want to do is visit my son for his birthday, that's on the 21st. He and his twin were born on the first day of winter. I've often wondered what that means. I'm certain the occult folks would have something to offer in that regard.
 The boys will be 43 this year. Hard to believe at times, and at others not so much. I still call them the boys, or the kids, and always will. That's because that is what they are to me. Neither of them are offended by that. I raised them not to be sissies! They don't always agree with my politics and that isn't an issue either. I'm right and they are wrong. Give'em time they will figure it out for themselves. Occasionally I will discuss politics with one, but hardly ever with the other. The reason is simple enough, one is more involved than the other. They are twins and as different as day and night. I did my best to raise them as individuals. Can I say that? I raised them? Or is that incorrect these days. Should it be, I enabled them? OMG I'm an enabler. Whatever the case may be I encouraged them to pursue their interests individually, based on there likes and interests. No pressure to be like your brother. We didn't dress them alike and all that. The plan this year is be with the one in New York Friday morning and share breakfast, then be back in Maryland to share supper with his brother. It will be the first time in quite a few years seeing them both on their birthdays. I'm looking forward to it.
 I don't recall the last Christmas we shared together. I seem to have misplaced that memory. I know it is in there somewhere. I'm certain it has been quite a few years though. As with a lot of modern families we are spread out all over the place. I get a kick out of those Hallmark movies were the family all flies in to share the holiday together. The parents always have a huge house able to accommodate everyone. Money is never an issue. They may talk about it, but it always works out great. All the presents are there, the meal is sumptuous and all is well in the world. I guess things like that do happen, I've just never seen it. With the loss of my sister I have become more aware of the passing of time. It is a stark reminder that tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone. Still you can't let that knowledge dampen your spirit. You should use that knowledge as motivation to make the effort. Thing is, it shouldn't be viewed as an effort at all but an obligation. You do owe it to yourself and to those you love and care about to show them how much they mean to you. It takes more than pretty words, more than material gifts, it takes you. The most precious gift you can give anyone is a piece of yourself. It is even precious when you do it for selfish reasons! If nothing else, do it for yourself.
 So, over the river and through the woods I go. I will try to do that in the most environmentally friendly way possible, abusing no animals along the way. My merry Oldsmobile will leave a carbon footprint and I'll just have to ask forgiveness for that. It is still better than beating a horse with a whip!    

In case you don't know the song. This cartoon amused me, can you imagine if they showed it today? 

knowing

 The writer/Poet Antonio Porchia said, " I know what I have given you--I don't know what you have received. " That particular aphorism really struck home. I make no claims other than I write, that doesn't make me an author or a poet. That whole thing is another discussion altogether. I have my thoughts on the matter and you have yours. But that doesn't enter into my thoughts this morning. I haven't decided how important any of that is to me. It's an idea I toy with.
 Porchia said, " I know what I have given you-- I don't know what you have received." I understand that statement fully. I know what I have given also. When we write our stories, in any form, we are sharing a bit of ourselves. Only the one writing knows what is being shared, knows the truth of it. Writing can cause vulnerability and the degree one is willing to accept that determines what they will write. It is taking a calculated risk. No one writes for rejection. People write to share their thoughts, dreams, fantasies, ideas and a bit of themselves. They do the same in song, poetry and art. The hope is to be accepted. That acceptance serves as validation. It is in that validation that vulnerability exists. That stamp of approval is the defining factor. Popularity? If you are popular does that you " right? " That is the general thinking isn't it? If you are unpopular, you are a failure. There are always exceptions though, Hitler was very popular, he wasn't right. Many artists don't gain fame/popularity until after their death, were they wrong in life and right in death?
 I believe a lot of this is determined by what it is you wish to share, what it is you intend to give. Are you writing to entertain, or to inform. Or are you just making an offer? I'm striving for the last. I'm just offering my opinion, my thoughts and memories. Are they for your edification? As narcissistic as it sounds, the answer has to be , yes. I do share the things I believe to be true and the things I would hope others would agree with. As Porchia said though, I don't know what you received. For that reason I often offer an explanation. When the explanation falls short misunderstandings take place. I'm aware it is a two way street and there are times when the failure is mine. That doesn't mean I should change the offering however. It really is like I have said in the past, " there is little that can be said that hasn't been said before, the challenge lies in saying it in a way you haven't heard it before. " If I can accomplish that perhaps you will receive whatever it is I am trying to share with you.
 Now having written this I am left questioning myself. Just what is it I'm trying to say here this morning? I think maybe I am trying to justify myself and my writings. I can honestly say I have never been passionate about anything. There are things I am very fond of, things I really enjoy now, and things I have enjoyed in the past. None of them reached the level of passion. Now I'm talking about activities or hobbies not people and emotions. I'm questioning whether I am passionate about this writing thing? If I admit to that, that is taking a big step off into space isn't it? Perhaps that is the very reason I have never felt a great passion for any other activity or occupation. Perhaps it is the fear of failure. Ah, but I could pay a therapist to tell me that, but I sincerely doubt it would change my thinking. I still need to be able to accept the fact you may not receive what I offer, and more importantly, that I have no control over that.
 To be passionate about something requires a bit of selfishness. That's my thinking on that. I can be selfish, I have been selfish in the past, and I will most likely be selfish in the future. I do use that as an excuse though, it is a convenient one. I can't see any other way one could be passionate without denying other pursuits. Those pursuits would have to include the wants and needs of others. That's fine with me as long as those people have little importance to me. The problem lies in denying those who already love and support me. If I change that, won't it change them? Ah, there is the vulnerability I spoke of earlier. It's a risk. Of course it can also be said to be passionate about something you have to believe in it. You have to put those eggs in one basket! That's usually not a wise decision. You have to be committed! When I hear that, I think of an institution. The institution of marriage is one example, another is a building with bars on the windows. I wouldn't want to risk the first for the later.
 Well I'll end this discussion with myself by saying this, a paraphrasing of Porchia,  " I know what I wrote, I don't know what you read." The truth is, I'm not certain I know either.   

nothing personal

 I hear the encouragement to shop locally. You hear it more so at this time of year. I would love to shop locally except there aren't any shops. Well, we do have the local pharmacy which has an excellent selection of bric and brac and gift ideas. Recently remodeled, I admit I love it. There is a second hand shop, of sorts, and that's about it. Greensboro isn't a teeming hub of business nor a tourist attraction. Greensboro is just home to a little over 1800 people. Oh, a gun shop just opened but I haven't been there yet, doubt I ever will but it's good to see a business anyway.
 When I was growing up on Long Island in East Hampton, we did shop locally. That was for everyday shopping though, the really big shopping for the holidays was either mail order catalogues' or perhaps a road trip to Riverhead. Riverhead was a drive of twenty five miles so that didn't happen often. Of course that was over fifty years ago. The local business people had their little shops and struggled to make ends meet over the long cold winter. Thing was, and still is, the tourist trade carried them through, most of the time. The summer crowd pumped enough money into the area to sustain it. I no longer live there but understand there is no tourist trade anymore, the tourists have taken up residence and changed the town completely. Oh, there are local shops alright, it's just that the locals can't afford to shop in them. The locals are the ones forced to travel elsewhere to get their necessities. Which begs the question, who is local?
 I saw it happening when I was a teenager. The stores began calling themselves boutiques. Boutique means, you get the same stuff, you just have to pay more for it. It's the same thing as going to a barber for a haircut or going to a stylist, for a haircut. You know what I mean. It's the difference between home made and folk art. Folk art costs a lot more than homemade stuff. Of course the folks are at home making it. Around these parts we have a lot of Amish made items being advertised. Yes, Amish people are making these items. They are also using every modern tool and convenience possible. The catch, most of the time is, they can use that stuff they just can't own that stuff. No problem, all you need is an " English" as they say to have ownership. They're not lying, Amish folks are making the items. Should you infer they are making these items by hand, using traditional methods and hand tools, that's your problem. The bottom line is boutiques have to sell there products at a higher price because they are going to sell less of it. Why are they selling less? The answer is easy enough to understand, because I can get the same stuff elsewhere cheaper. And that is what happened to the local shops. Going to the quaint little shops and boutiques is an entertainment. It isn't done for the necessities.
 I do try to shop locally. I would love to be able to do that for everything, but it isn't possible or practical. As consumers we have been spoiled. I include myself in that group. I am spoiled with the availability of just about anything I can imagine at my fingertips. The only constraint is time. Yes, time. If I can exercise patience I can get whatever I desire, delivered to my door. Isn't that the challenge today? Can you wait for it? And if you are willing to spend the money you can get it overnight! It is the unlimited selection that is the draw and the low price. The local shop owner can not stock millions of dollars in inventory. The local guy can't sell for less because his expenses aren't getting less. The only thing a local shop has going for it is, convenience. And convenience in this instance means I get what I want right this second. It is also the reason you pay so much more for that product. Paying for convenience? Yes, you are really buying time aren't you? And time is the most precious commodity of all. Time once spent can never be recouped. Time doesn't earn interest, time expires.
 The local shops began closing down because we, as consumers, demanded more selection and a lower price. Isolated in out little towns and hamlets we turned to Sears Roebuck and Company. Montgomery Ward, Spiegel and others. We were provided catalogues for our shopping convenience. And we thought, this is great. I can sit at the kitchen table and fill out an order form. I can get revolving credit! Larger selection, low prices and a payment plan, perfect. To the local shop owner we said, it's nothing personal, just business. And the buying began in earnest. Wasn't too long the idea of a mall came along, just put all the shops in one building. Nothing personal about any of that either, just good business. Shared expenses are lower expenses. Now we have the internet. It is an unlimited resource for anything one can imagine. From every corner of the world products are available. If you can dream it, you can find it without ever leaving your chair.
 It all seems wonderful doesn't it? And now we are encouraged to shop local. Why? Well, because we want it to be personal again. We have discovered that personal service is the best service. Of course we really don't want to pay for that though. Well we will if it is a boutique or specialty shop. We will if we don't have to wait, unless it is to get into the most fashionable of places then we will wait hours to eat a meal. We will pay hundreds of dollars for a meal that wouldn't feed a small child if it is the " right " place. We won't spend twenty five dollars at the local diner though, nah, just hit up Mickey D's  for the six dollar meal deal, nothing personal. We have sacrificed the personal for the impersonal. We can get whatever we want, at the price we wish to pay, and we don't have to spend much of our time doing it. Nothing personal, it's just business. Ironically we are now willing to spend more money being entertained by " shopping " than we used to spend shopping. We do that for the " personal " experience. When we shop those boutiques we get that feeling of personal service. We get the feeling that the shop owner cares about us and gives us personal attention. We feel special and that's why we are willing to spend our money there. Maybe we should have just kept spending our money at the local shops in the first place. Maybe we should have kept it personal. Ah, wouldn't that be something. Well, it's nothing personal, just business.
        

Wreaths

 Yesterday was Wreaths across America and I joined in the remembrance. That's what it is, a time to remember our veterans that have gone to their final rest. The length of their service is not important, whether they served in combat or not is not important, what is important is that they made that commitment. It's true that some were drafted into service and perhaps serving wasn't their first choice but they answered that call. It is that, that is the heart of it. To answer the call to duty, any time, any place and under any circumstance is the mark of a patriot. That isn't to say those unable to serve, for whatever reason that may be, are not patriots. Many serve the nation in a non-military fashion and their contributions are vital. But Wreaths Across America is for veterans.
 It has become a tradition with me. I purchase a few wreaths and place them along with the thousands of others being placed on the graves of our veterans. I ensure that my daughter in laws father gets his wreath and I have chosen Col. Comegys veteran of the civil war this year. There are two other veterans in the Greensboro cemetery that I knew personally and they have family about. They always get a wreath as well. Their families take care of that. That's the reason I chose Col. Comegys. I don't believe he has any relatives living in the area. Never have I seen a flower or other signs that he has been visited. I make sure he gets a Flag on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I make sure he gets a wreath for Christmas. All I know of him is that he was a Col. in the Union Army during the civil war. I did stumble upon a newspaper article that described his death. He had just left the barber shop on main street and had a massive heart attack in the street. He passed away on that spot. That's about all I know of the good Col. And as much as I enjoy history and genealogy it is all I want to know about him, or rather, it is enough. He was a veteran of the war and that is enough. What his political views may have been I have no clue. What his stance on the issues of his day I can only guess. That he was a man of some prominence I am certain. Whatever material things he may have acquired, whatever stature in the community he enjoyed, all of that is long gone. It is my hope that someone remembers him, I would find it sad, should he be forgotten entirely. Well, I haven't forgotten him you could say. Thing is, can you remember someone you never knew? Yes I believe you can, you can remember their name and his was William Comegys. I wonder if they called him Bill? Bill seems a bit informal for a Colonel though. Still he was just a man like all of us.
 When placing the wreaths on the graves of those veterans it is requested that there name be spoken out load, and a Thank You for your service given. I fulfilled that request, first with Dominic Albino, known to me as Tom, and then with Col. William Comegys. I didn't call him Bill as I feel like I barely know the man. One shouldn't be presumptuous and remain formal until permission is given to be otherwise. I'm quite certain there are many other Veterans lying in the Greensboro cemetery that are unknown at this time. The original records of internment have been lost over time. If there are no markings, no indication on the stone, it can be difficult to determine. If family is around that makes it easy, otherwise a search of records would have to be done on each person. And that's a time consuming undertaking. It is far more than I am willing to undertake. I wouldn't know where to begin. Perhaps it would make a great project for a civic group. I've been told there are more people interred in the Greensboro cemetery than the population of the town, several times over. A daunting task indeed to identify them all.
 I'm thinking this coming year I may do more research into the Colonel. I will attempt to learn more about him and his service. I realize that there is so much more to the man than the fact that he is a Veteran. I'm certain that was just a small part of his life. It is that way with all veterans, at least those that make it home, for the others, it ended their lives. I think it is important to remember that being a veteran shouldn't define you. Yes you are entitled to recognition for that service, you should never be forgotten for that, but Veterans are people like you and I. Veterans are not some abstract idea of another sacrificing their life for you. Veterans are flesh and blood people with hopes and dreams like all the rest. It's a fallacy that those hopes and dreams are set aside to serve. I can assure you I carried those hopes and dreams with me my entire Naval career. I was fortunate indeed to be able to carry them back home, many were not so fortunate. It was a gift from the almighty.
 For that reason I believe it is fitting to place those wreaths on the graves of our veterans. What better time to remember than the Christmas season. It is the time when we all wish to be home! It is the time of childhood memories, good food and better company. The laying of a wreath is appropriate. Christians tend to think of wreaths as a Christmas thing. That's partially true but their history dates much farther back than that. A wreath is a symbol of strength. That's why it is made with evergreens. Evergreens survive even the harshest weather, keeping their green. We place a wreath on those graves not to celebrate Christmas, but to celebrate the strength of conviction it took for those veterans to answer that call. A veterans religious belief or lack of that does not enter into any of that. The evidence of that can be seen at Arlington National Cemetery were every grave has a wreath placed on it.
 In this time of political correctness and the fear of offending I view this new tradition as a breath of fresh air. It is my hope that people do come to view and understand the significance of this wreath laying. It is a common bond. It is a small act that can serve to unite us all. Race, creed, or political affiliation has no role in this. In death, all are equal. With the laying of these wreaths we acknowledge the strength of the warrior, those that kept us free. We should speak their names, give thanks and reflect upon that.     

stiffer penalties and free phones

 Have you noticed that there is two to three hours of news on every night? Is it any wonder the stories get to be so stupid? I mean, c'mon how long can you talk about the obvious? Oh, guns kill people. Wrong, people kill people using a gun. Yet, that discussion, supported by experts and studies continues non-stop. The latest one I'm hearing about in Maryland is stiffer penalties for selling Fentanyl. This drug is the worst of the worst. My response is why not stiffer penalties for selling any illegal drug! We could start by enforcing the ones we already have. Of course you can't do a half hour piece on common sense. But the thinking is by making stiffer penalties for selling Fentanyl it will curb the opioid epidemic. Well, because drug users and addicts are certainly concerned with the statutes and will surely avoid that. That and if we just allow those folks to use less deadly illegal substances it will also curb the violence. The drug dealers won't go around shooting each other nearly as much. I didn't hear an explanation for that but the experts seem to believe it. Yes sir, stiffer penalties for Fentanyl is the key to solving those problems.
 Meanwhile out in California they want to impose a fee on texting. The idea is it would be a flat rate surcharge. The reason? To provide phones to those that can't afford a phone. Well because there are those that don't qualify for an Obama phone. You do know they are provided with smart phones right? What's wrong with a flip phone that can make basic phone calls? Well we certainly wouldn't want anyone to be embarrassed by that now would we. Now I don't live in California and so I guess I shouldn't be concerned but anytime the government, even State government wants to take my money to give free stuff,  I'm concerned  Drug dealers that can't report their income should have no problem qualifying for that program. My guess is those folks in California have gotten too much sun!
 How much time is spent talking about Trump? We have been hearing the same mantra from the left for almost two years now. The new agenda is just to lock up anyone associated with him. Yeah, that ought to work. If the left can only cull him from the herd! Isolate him, undermine him and the good of the nation be damned. There will be no compromise, no deals made. Nope, the plan is to impeach him or at the very least impede him until the next election cycle. Maybe by then we cam have enough illegal people in the country to vote in those promising free stuff for all! The real plan being don't disturb my free stuff. After all how can I control you if you aren't dependent upon me? Give me your guns, give me your money, and I'll decide what is best for you! Don't worry, you can trust the government, you know, those officials that you elected to do what is best for you. Hey just look at the health care package they have, they know good coverage when they see it. Look at their work schedule, they have to work 180 days every year, by law! And their pension plan, you get that after one term! Four years is plenty of time to work to receive a pension for the rest of your life. You see, those government officials really know how to take of themselves, surely they will do the same for you.
 Well I've rambled on a bit this morning. I am distracted by all the nonsense I hear in the news. I can't help but wonder what happened? How did all this come about? The majority of what is presented is just opinion, facts be damned. The truth is it came about because of the desire to generate revenue. It's all about the Benjamin's. Sensational news sells, just ask the Enquirer. They routinely print blatantly fictitious headlines and the paper flies off the shelf. They even say Trump paid them not to " report " his affairs. Yeah, okay. Oh and right now Chevy is taking 10,000 dollars off the MSRP of a new car. Both are equally plausible. All I can do is shake my head and pray.        
 

co-conspirators

 As you know I lost my sister ten days ago. The first wave of grief has crested now and I feel the pull of it receding. I am aware that it will return. The reality of her passing hasn't taken root and expectations still exist. Maybe it is all a bad dream, maybe it didn't happen at all. Then the phone doesn't ring and I know it is true. My world has grown smaller. This morning I can't help but notice how a few more of my memories have become isolated. They are isolated because those memories were only shared with my sister. No one else understands those moments. You can't share time gone by, only relate the tale. And there are many moments like that, love is made up of moments stitched together over time, held together by understanding. My sister and I understood each other, accepted each other for who we are, and provided support to one another.

 Our world is made of our memories. The older we get the smaller that world becomes. That is something only age can teach you. Is it wisdom? I'm not so sure about that, but that it is real I have no doubt. We can look forward to tomorrow and we should. Aging doesn't mean you stop dreaming. Everything that happens in the future starts as a dream today doesn't it? You may be fairly certain that dream will come true. You can plan for it but the reality is you may not realize it. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. So, for that reason I say our world is made of our memories. I can't share memories with someone that wasn't there, all I can do is tell stories. A good story teller can transmit some of the emotions felt, make you feel sorrow, empathy, anger, or any number of emotions. Still they are not sharing that memory with the one who was the co-creator of that memory. My sister and I were co-conspirators in life. We did share secrets, exposing our vulnerabilities to each other. And that is a component of love as well. Now, those memories have grown silent. There is no way to reexperience them. That was only possible with her. A corner of my world is now uninhabited. I can still travel there, but I travel alone.

 Yes I'm feeling sorry for myself. Grief is a personal thing. I have yet to find words to express that emotion. I try to take some solace, some comfort in these words, " The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. " ( Helen Keller ) The comfort comes from knowing that our hearts did touch and indeed, her heart touches me still. I believe it always will. It's true I can not see or touch her but her beauty, her heart, touches me every day. Always has, always will. I feel her presence in the sunshine and in the rain. A part of my world, we are co-conspirators. Now I'm wondering, just what it is she is planning now?       

in a handbasket

 Well, it happened. I have seen memes about it, tongue in cheek comments about teaching millennials basic life skills, and yesterday on the news they were at just such a school. A school in Portland , Maine, of all places, I would have expected California or Washington State to be the first, that does just that. They were showing these twenty something kids how to sew on a button and cook. The woman explaining the curriculum in cooking said he was teaching basic knife skills. I thought, you mean like not cutting yourself? What are basic knife skills? Never cut toward yourself and don't pick it up by the blade. After that lesson what's next? As far as sewing on a button what do you need to know? The holes were the thread goes through as pretty obvious to me. I hope they are teaching basic needle skills, don't stick yourself! I watched in amusement as they interviewed these students. They really had no clue about the most basic of tasks to be done around the house. Life skills they call them. Well, I didn't go to school for that, I just lived life and figured that out for myself. I blame this on this throw away society we are living in. Kids aren't learning to take care of anything, just replace it. I remember when my Mom would get those iron on patches for the knees of our jeans. Now the kids are buying jeans with the holes already in them! They can't even do that for themselves. I learned to iron those patches on and how to sew the edges so they wouldn't peel off again. Mom didn't teach me, I just figured that out by myself. I knew not to stick the needle in my fingers or my arm for that matter. Also knew not to sniff paint fumes without an intervention, but that is another lesson. 

 As I watched this news piece I couldn't help but laugh. The big push these days is for everyone to get a college education. We all need degrees. So we will have all these educated people that can't cook or sew on a button but have liberal arts degrees. Yeah, that ought to be great for the nation. I see this commercial on television all the time. An ex-marine with his pregnant wife are having there in-laws over for dinner. The water heater begins to leak, he calls the insurance company, not a plumber, and they take care of it. Then he is explaining how that little bit of water really " rocked our world! " The implication is this man is a combat veteran, Sgt Baker, but a water leak rocks his world. Huh? Well, bottom line is, buy the insurance. A school for life skills. I have to laugh at the name, life skills. Are there death skills? How about common sense, do you have a school for that? Sounds like a lot of people need just that. You know they didn't say so but I'm betting if you complete the course you get a certificate suitable for framing. You probably get that certificate whether you finish the course or not as long as you pay for it. At a minimum you participated right. Ah, just put a trophy on my tombstone and we call it a day. I sure hope 2019 see's a change in direction for this country. We are headin' for hell in a handbasket as Grandma used to say. 

the bigger man

 Just because you're mad, doesn't mean I'm wrong. Now that is a bit of wisdom it has taken years to come to understand. It is a lesson learned the hard way, a life lesson. You see, back in my youth I was taught that other peoples' feelings mattered. If I was making others mad, it was probably the result of wrongdoing on my part. I still feel that is the case most of the time. As a result I have made concessions over the years, acts of compromise, and carried guilt around. I still do and will continue to do so. I don't believe I could change that even if I tried. But with a new awareness I can change my reaction. I can shed some guilt. Just because you're mad, doesn't mean I'm wrong.
 Remember when you were a child? Remember when your parents said, " this is for your own good? " That is what they were talking about. Just because you were mad, that didn't make them wrong. When I was a kid my father always said, " this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you, " right before I got a spanking. I never believed that, and joked about it for many years. I understand what he was saying, what wisdom he was trying to impart. He did have to carry the burden of having punished me. Did it bother him? Not the point here. What he was trying to teach was awareness. Nowadays they would call it tough love, or at least a few years back they did, not sure what they call it now, probably abuse! I recall when I first heard about this concept of " time out. " I thought, I didn't get a time out, time waits for no man and punishment was swift and sure! Reward was given the same way. There were no big ceremonies, no trophies handed out, just a star pasted to your paper or a firm handshake for a job well done. Punishment and reward. That was the two states that existed in my world. And most of the time the reward was not being punished! I can remember Dad being mad, but I didn't get punished because I wasn't wrong. Just because he was mad it didn't make me wrong. Remembering those occasions still make me smile.
 I'm thinking there are an awful lot of folks that don't understand this at all. That is the only reason I can fathom for some of the actions I witness everyday. All this protesting, yelling, expletives flying, foul mouthed behavior is nothing but anger. Somehow people have gotten this notion that if I can show you how angry I am, that will make them right. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, the expectation is the " grownups " will relent just to shut them up. The same people trying that method are then surprised when bad things happen to them. They are appalled at the violence. The violence they have incited! They just don't get it. Just because you are angry, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It is the bully tactic, plain and simple. I'm mad, I'm threatening, and I will not relent.
 As with all things in life you do have to make a choice. In the end there is no escaping that. Oh you can blame others for the choice you make but you still make that choice. An old adage from my childhood comes to mind, you made your bed now lie in it. Whether you are comfortable in that bed or not is also your choice. What is comfy to me may not be for others, and that is alright. It doesn't mean I made the bed wrong. My suggestion? Well, I really can't advise you on that, you have to make that choice on your own. The biggest fallacy in all of that is, the bigger man always concedes.

Which world

 I have written, " accept history for what it was, not for what you wish it could have been. " That thought came to me in response to what is happening in our country today. This rewriting of history to suit an agenda or to soothe ruffled feathers. You can tear down statues, dismiss traditions as old fashioned and cite statistics all you want, none of it changes the truth. Restitution, retribution or simple revenge will not change history either. It may serve to provide a momentary relief, a brief respite, but the injury remains. You have to accept what was. As I often point out context is everything. I don't believe anyone can understand the reasoning of 100 years ago based on todays' cultural norms. At various times in history norms included, dueling, suicide, placing people in the stocks, shunning and all manner of punishments. The code of Chivalry is a prime example. It is romanticized in literature and the movies but was serious business back then. Can we understand that motivation? I don't believe that is possible. 

 I do think that bit of advice applies to our own past as well. We all tend to get nostalgic for the good old days. Nothing wrong with that as long as we keep it in context. Nothing wrong with that as long as we are honest with ourselves and our emotions. To enjoy peace with your past is the greatest comfort a man can have. That isn't to say there weren't mistakes, errors in judgement, and actions we wish we could take back, quite the contrary. The ability to understand those actions is what will give you peace. Some call that self forgiveness. Forgive yourself for bad decisions or hasty responses? Forgiveness is something received. Can you offer that to yourself? Yes, I believe you can. I also wrote, " Listening is the avenue to understanding" and I believe in that as well. You do have to listen to others as well as listen to yourself. I tend to have entire conversations with myself, I should listen a bit more. I can be quite convincing at times, or so I'm told. 

 Now having reached the mid point of my sixth decade I have come to accept a few things. Things aren't always what they appear, or what I remember. It isn't a failure of memory however, the failure stems from a lack of understanding. I'm not saying conspiracies abound, that others are self serving and motivated in any bad way, that's not it. I am saying I have discovered that I owe myself more than I thought. I have discovered that I have inherent value not only to others, but to myself. That's something you pay a therapist to teach you, from what I hear. I can't speak from first hand experience though having never talked with a therapist. My problem with that is I question whether the therapist knows what they are talking about. You can't learn " life " in any college. I believe those lessons are taught by life, not by academia. But that is another discussion for another day. Define the difference between eccentric and crazy. Context is what defines that relationship. Context defines all relationships. You can either live with reality, or create it. It is in that realm that context lives. Which world do you live in?   

Time and relativity

 Fourteen days till Christmas. Two weeks. Where has the time gone? It is a question I find myself asking more frequently, guess that is what old folks do. The grandkids are fifteen, sixteen and seventeen. I don't believe they have dreams of sugarplums dancing in their heads. I'm not saying they aren't looking forward to Christmas but the excitement level isn't exactly soaring. I got out some of my decorations, just not feeling the whole thing this year, but have discovered I'm just fine with that. Every year I find myself more content with Christmas memories than Christmas presents. Another sign of time passing. It's not a sad thing, more comfortable than anything else. The familiar is a comfort and certainly less work. Thinking of work, my porch is being worked on, so no outdoor decorations this year. I don't mind that either. All in all 2018 hasn't been a stellar year. I'm not one to say I'll be glad to see it go, you shouldn't wish time away because you can never get it back. It's just that I recall more negatives than positives.
 As for the time thing I got to thinking about that when I heard a kid on television remark, I'm 12 and a half. I had to chuckle remembering when I would have said something like that, a few months was a big deal. When we are young like that a week seems to last forever. Waiting for Santa Claus, interminable. School lasted forever although summer seemed an lot shorter. I was one of those kids that got bored with summer and was ready to go to school. I did enjoy the company. I wouldn't say I had a lot of friends but I was friendly with everyone. The difference between a freshman and a senior was a large gap. Four years! That sure seemed like a long time but now I expect a good pair off shoes to last that long. I know I have belts and socks older than that. That gap remains for a while after high school and into college. At some point it sort of disappears. Now a difference of ten years is considered as, we're about the same age. Time and relativity, Einstein had his theory and I have mine. I don't think time is the constant, it speeds up and slows down. It starts out real slow. Time is relative to circumstance. Now we can't control circumstance, that is effected by the actions of others. Sometimes it is your relatives that do that, but let's not get distracted here. All we can do is react to what's happening around us. In the case of aging we can't control time, it's a circumstance. All we know about it is that it begins and ends. Well at least that is what we see and experience. Time marches on is an old adage but I'm thinking it is lead by circumstance. There is the problem of history. History happened in another time, time gone by. But history repeats itself  is another old adage. So that means time is circular. Now, try to follow me here; in a circle the speed and distance you travel is relative to the center of that circle. An axle turning at ten revolutions will spin a wheel whose outside edge will spin in proportion to the radius! The outside edge of that wheel will travel a greater distance than the center which is stationary. So I'm thinking the closer we move to the center the slower we turn, but time speeds up, that's why we see it going by so fast. What we need to know is what is the center? Is the center heaven? Does time stand still there and pick up speed the further you travel from that center?
 Well anyway, my thoughts have wandered off a bit. Two weeks till Christmas and three to the end of another year. Time sure does fly. I wonder if you can venture from the center and travel to anytime you wish? Time travel has always fascinated man, maybe it is as easy as going back to the center and starting over. Maybe that is what happens when we die. Maybe then we can create circumstances favorable to those we love. Maybe that is what angels do. But then wouldn't Angels be in constant conflict with one another? Hey, maybe they are. But having knowledge of time and relativity would give them an edge. So maybe not. I'll have to work on this theory some more. Einstein assumed the speed of light as the constant. That's why he thought time travel may be possible. What if the speed of light isn't constant though? What if you could change that, change the circumstance. Different circumstance leads to different results. Well, I guess I'll find out in time. Time waits for no man. You either lead, follow or get out of the way.   

A gift so great

 Six days ago my sister went to reside with the angels. This morning is the first time I have been able to write about that. Grief stricken, I have been uncharacteristically silent. My sister had received a  diagnosis of stomach cancer more than 18 months ago and fought to enjoy every day. We spoke almost on a daily basis and never did I hear her complain. Never did she question her fate, just accepted life as it arrived. My words are inadequate to describe the strength she showed. My words are inadequate to describe my sorrow. My faith comforts me in that I know she is at rest and no longer in pain. She was called home, her purpose here on earth complete. Her soul, her energy is eternal and will continue. That energy will manifest itself, as needed, to those she loved.
 The sorrow I feel is for myself. Grief is a personal thing. It is for that reason I have been unable to write about her passing. There are no words anyone can offer, despite their most sincere and heartfelt intentions. All any of us can do is offer condolences. Condolence is sympathy. We do feel sorry for those that have lost a loved one. Empathy is the word to describe that form of sympathy, or at least it is the cause of it. I will miss her physical presence, but her spirit will reside in my soul forever. The sorrow I feel is for my world having grown smaller. Millie, my big sister, was a large part of my world. How could it be otherwise? I have loved her since my birth. And I am blessed that she loved me. As children we shared our lives and secrets. Our paths took us in different directions but we never lost that connection.
 When we pass on I believe we share our soul with those that loved and cared for us. It is our final and everlasting gift. We place our soul there for safekeeping, secure in the knowledge it will be cared for. Our bodies are not so important and departing from them brings relief. It is only in the body that age, infirmary and sickness live.
 Our souls require a host. Those that loved us are that host. As we mourn we need to prepare ourselves to receive that gift. The tears we shed act as a cleansing, a welcoming. Now we must continue the journey of that soul. We are the guide and caretaker. The love that we shared obligates us and binds our souls. And so death is linked to life, and continues. My sister will live on in my heart and thoughts. I believe she has shared a piece of her soul with me and that gift is a bit overwhelming. Given time I will become comfortable with that. And that I believe is what grief really is, an acceptance of so great a gift. It takes a while to understand that it is not a loss, but a gain. A gain I would gladly surrender in exchange for a single moment more. I miss you Millie.
   

the littlest thing

 Sometimes it is the littlest things. Yesterday afternoon I posted a picture of a box of ribbon candy on Facebook. The number of responses surprised me. At the same time it offered reassurance in a strange sort of way, reassurance that I wasn't alone. So many others seemed to genuinely enjoy the memory. Shared memories are a comfort. I'm thinking that was the original intent of social media. At least it was intended to be a major part of it. It is certainly the reason there are so many splinter groups. I know, I formed a group for that very purpose myself. My hope was the group would recreate a bit of the old " hometown " atmosphere. I feel like it has enjoyed some success in that area. A bit of the old neighborhood can be found there. I'm grateful for that.
 Earlier in the day I responded to a meme asking what one thing you got in trouble for while in school. That jogged old memories loose and I stated three or four things, following directions isn't my strong point. One memory in particular popped up, greenie stick'em caps. As I wrote that down I had to chuckle. I can only imagine the chaos they would cause today. It's not funny, but the cries of active shooter would surely go up, swat teams mobilized, and sheltering in place initiated! My school house memory of those caps was sticking them to the bottom of your chair leg, tilting the chair back, and when the teacher turned her back, bang! You could also stick them to the heel of your shoe and get the same effect. Hilarious stuff. Of course that was back in the day when we wore shoes with leather soles and hard heels, not athletic shoes, sneakers were for gym class, er, physical education.
 I got to remembering those caps and there many uses. I had a hand grenade that used them. Pull the pin and throw, on impact the cap would go off, most of the time. There was a six shooter, one cap on each bullet and fire away. A shotgun with shootin' shells. I bought those caps by the box. I went to the internet to see what I could find out about them. Needless to say, all that stuff is Vintage now. Collectibles they call them. People are asking quite the price for originals still in the box. That is especially so for the ones without the orange cap on the end of the barrel. That became law in 1992. It does say a lot about society when that became necessary. I don't have a desire to collect any of those old toy guns or other weapons that used those caps. The memory is more of an amusement than the actual product. You can't purchase nostalgia, contrary to any advertising you may read.
 It is the littlest things that fill the spaces in our hearts. Kind words spoken at just the right moment, a simple gift of a flower. Sometimes it is no more than holding someone's hand with no words spoken. A faded photograph can be more valuable that a Rembrandt. Shared memories are like that also. The commonality of mankind. We may have different customs, traditions and social interactions but we all share the same heart. Some call that heart " God " or " spirituality " as well as " soul." Whatever you call it, it is common to all mankind. And that is the biggest thing of all! Strangely it takes the little things to gain an understanding of the whole. On second thought that isn't strange at all. It is that way with everything if you think about it.

perfectly safe, says so right on the package.