Going There

There are corners in my mind where I seldom go. Places with memories and thoughts long ago stored. There are times when I must go there, forced by circumstance to visit. I am there and all I have found so far, is sorrow. Sorrow and regret. Sorrow for my loss, and regret for choices made. Question without answers and wounds without healing.

Looking closely I see some happiness and light. Both are but dim visions, but they are there. Time, mans friend and enemy, will reveal them, and time will heal. In those corners are the pieces that I seek. The pieces that bring comfort once again. How long will it take to find them ? I can not know but I must continue. Continue in that exploration, moving ever forward. It is not helpful to dwell upon the causes of the loss but rather dwell upon the resolution of the grief. The direction is there, I must find it.

These little corners in my mind can be uncomfortable little places. That, I imagine, is why I do not go there often. Yet, these places, memories if you will, exist, and all existence has a purpose. It is the meaning of this existence that causes anxiety and sometimes grief. When existence is gone, all that is left is speculation. The whys and what ifs ? I am left with those.

I write these words not to elicit sympathy. I write these words to promote healing. Writing them forces the light to shine in those little corners, and reveal what I am seeking. The whys and what ifs of life are beyond our comprehension. I can only hope to find a little key that unlocks some understanding. The key is within me and has lain dormant, but now the time has come. It is not an ominous thing or scary thing, it is just time. Some call it " closure. "  The memories never go away ,they are only stored. Stored until needed and then the door is opened.