There are times when I feel I have no identity. The roots of my raising have been severed and the ground that fostered them gone. The only connection that remains are memories, and flawed ones at that. The fog of time has clouded them. During my military years I lived in many places. I stayed for a while and then was gone. Some places I remember well and others not so much. Places,faces and time all grown together. Finally settling here in Greensboro, where, for the foreseeable future anyway, I shall remain.Even parts of my time here in Greensboro are fragmented. I moved here in the later stages of my career but was still sailing the seas. Large portions of time and family events were missed. Roots started and uprooted. After over twenty some years I still feel like a visitor. It can be a strange and troubling feeling.
I do not feel this way all the time. It is not a conscience thing. It is more of an awareness. When speaking with my contemporaries, those of my age group, I can not speak of the old days in Greensboro. I am relegated to listening. Fortunately for me, I like history. I can not share my childhood with them either,as they have no point of reference about my upbringing. And it is this that is the root cause of my restlessness. A point of reference. People need a point of reference,common ground upon which to build. As we age we build upon the past. Could it be any other way ? When young everything is new and we begin to build. We will build upon the shakiest of ground in the belief that it will last forever. Later in life we do become more selective. Our foundation becomes stable,unchanging. The build is a lot slower.
It is a difficult thing to reconcile. Here in Greensboro I have no connection to the past. My connection rests in the future. The future of my son and grandchildren. Will they remain in Greensboro and witness the growth ? Will they tell their children tales of old Greensboro, the days when Grandpa walked the streets ?
There has to be a first. Guess that is me. The first Reichart in Greensboro. I do like it and think I'll stay a while. I'm beginning to know a few people and starting to have some common ground upon which to build. My history in Greensboro is short but I've got time to build some more.
My memories are just stories to you. The same is true of yours. Shared memories make the best stories. It just takes time.
I do not feel this way all the time. It is not a conscience thing. It is more of an awareness. When speaking with my contemporaries, those of my age group, I can not speak of the old days in Greensboro. I am relegated to listening. Fortunately for me, I like history. I can not share my childhood with them either,as they have no point of reference about my upbringing. And it is this that is the root cause of my restlessness. A point of reference. People need a point of reference,common ground upon which to build. As we age we build upon the past. Could it be any other way ? When young everything is new and we begin to build. We will build upon the shakiest of ground in the belief that it will last forever. Later in life we do become more selective. Our foundation becomes stable,unchanging. The build is a lot slower.
It is a difficult thing to reconcile. Here in Greensboro I have no connection to the past. My connection rests in the future. The future of my son and grandchildren. Will they remain in Greensboro and witness the growth ? Will they tell their children tales of old Greensboro, the days when Grandpa walked the streets ?
There has to be a first. Guess that is me. The first Reichart in Greensboro. I do like it and think I'll stay a while. I'm beginning to know a few people and starting to have some common ground upon which to build. My history in Greensboro is short but I've got time to build some more.
My memories are just stories to you. The same is true of yours. Shared memories make the best stories. It just takes time.
No comments:
Post a Comment