some day

  I have a Facebook acquaintance; can you be an acquaintance if you have never met in person? I don't know if that applies, and friend also seems a bit more personal than is warranted. There are folks living in the cyber world, I count myself in that number, that we really don't know all that well, we are operating on perceptions. We all realize what we see may or may not be what we get. The proof of that lies in advertising. I'd suggest each one of us are attempting to get others to "buy" whatever we are selling. It's an opportunity to present the goods. But anyway, I'm getting off track here, that often happens with me as I explore the routes less traveled. See, there I go again.

 I was thinking about this Facebook acquaintance or friend this morning. He has been diagnosed with a very serious condition. It is a condition I know very little about but have read a bit about exactly what it is. It certainly sounds like a dreadful disease and from what I understand is fatal. He is struggling with that diagnosis and is reaching out for any help he can get. I have left a few comments that sound hollow after I post them. I'm uncertain what words, if any, could provide comfort or reassurance. Perhaps those that have been trained in such would know, although I have my doubts about that. My feeling is that comfort would have to come from someone that the person knows, trusts and respects. Whatever you are told is the truth only if you believe it to be. Call me skeptical but everything I read on Facebook and social media in general, I take with a grain of salt. In today's parlance, misinformation. It's not a lie exactly, but isn't the truth either. 

  I do wish there was something I could offer to this individual beyond words. I have always said there is little that can be said that hasn't been said before. I certainly don't have any original thoughts or advice for this particular situation. The last thing I want to do is offer a bunch of platitudes, old adages and idioms. I will not preach about faith, as that is a personal choice and one the individual must adopt on their own. I have no ability to convince others of anything regarding something that personal. I will share my belief, when asked. I have used this forum to express many of my thoughts regarding all of that. None was written in an attempt to convert; it is merely to explain what I think. Facing your own mortality has to be one of the most personal things that exist. It's difficult to even think about in the abstract. It is something we all know but say, not now, not tomorrow, but someday. As Scarlett O'Hara often said, tomorrow is another day. The thought that there will be no tomorrow is unsettling to say the least. It's something we don't want to believe.

  My thought is this is a situation where the best is done by listening. The individual facing this situation has to come to peace with themself for any true peace. I think you have to forgive yourself for any transgressions you believe you may have committed. That is what is meant when you hear others saying, I have no regrets. It isn't that they haven't made mistakes, just that have forgiven themselves for that. It is the removal of blame. Sometimes there isn't anyone to blame, including yourself. 

  Twice in my life I have been in a position where I had to say goodbye to someone with a terminal illness. The first time was with my father. He was suffering from COPD and Lou Gerig's disease. I was in the Navy at that time and was given leave to see him. I sat with him and listened. When it was time for me to go all I could do was shake his hand, lean in closely and tell him I love you. Standing up straight I simply said, see you later. That communicated everything he needed to hear. You have to know your audience to be effective. I was in that spot once again with my sister. I was able to travel to Florida to be with her for a few days. We sat, we talked, we laughed, we shared our childhood secrets. Then we said goodbye. No tears, no regrets, only love. I hope I have the same strength when I am the one in that bed. But not today, not tomorrow, some day. As for my Facebook acquaintance, all I can do is pray for the same for him.