I'm trying

  Today I'm posting blog number 5000. That's right, five thousand times I've written about something. My very first post was on August 19, 2010. That was exactly 5,115 days ago. So, I didn't post one hundred and fifteen times over that 14-year period. That's 2.2% of the time. I guess it is an acceptable absenteeism rate. A lot has changed over that time starting with those that "followed" me. I've never really thought of it in that way however, as having followers. I don't consider myself a leader in any sense of the word. I'm just going along the same path as everyone else. None of us will "get out of this world alive" as Hank Williams Sr. pointed out. We are all going to pay taxes too! 

  I think of it as walking down main street or in the mall. There are many shops we can stop in and look at the goods. In some we will buy and in others just move along. Your life does depend upon what it is you're buying. It has always been so as we try to find happiness. That's what we all really want, to be happy. I agree with Aristotle on this one, "Happiness depends upon ourselves." You really can't buy it or inherit it. It is all up to you. It's true that I have made some bad purchases along the way, suffered from buyer's regret, but that was then. No need to cry over spilled milk as the saying goes. Our needs do change over time and so should our purchases. Life isn't a one size fits all proposition. We can develop habits both good and bad. Writing these posts has become somewhat of a habit. I'm aware of it should I not post something. Is a habit something expected? Or is it something anticipated? I'm thinking it is a bit of both.

  I began writing these because I was inspired by another. Somehow, I stumbled upon a blog being written by someone I had known from high school. I was a bit amazed. There I was on the internet, the world wide web, cyber space occupied by literally millions of people, and I find one I know. Not only that but one writing her thoughts or observations. I thought to myself, I could do that. Anyone that knows me would tell you that I have lots of stories to tell, I talk, a lot. Some will tell you I talk too much but that's only the ones that aren't listening. But whatever the case I began writing the very next day and haven't quit, yet. 

    “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” (Epictetus) I express my views and sometimes people do respond to them. Yes, sometimes they get disturbed. I get it, I'm often disturbed by the views of others as well. I have noticed over the years that people will respond quickly when they don't agree, far quicker than when they do. It's not that important to me that others agree. All I can do is offer my wisdom and advice. That is like everything else in the store, some will browse, some will buy, and some will attempt to get it banned. As Epictetus pointed out people are disturbed by the view they take of things. I'm not trying to change anyone's view; I'm simply presenting mine. I haven't written anything I didn't believe to be true. If there is any deceit it is by omission. I don't believe in "airing my dirty laundry" in a public forum. My intent is not to incite, but to prompt. I hope those reading think about what I write, what I'm trying to convey. If they do not, that is solely the fault of the author. The squeaky wheel gets the grease is an old saying. If I disturb some people that's a good thing. At least I got their attention. It either reenforced their beliefs or made them question them.

  As I continued to write these blogs, I began to view them as a way of leaving a record. I thought, I want others to know exactly what I thought. It's been my experience when others tell your story it is usually a bit different than the way you tell it. A lot depends upon their feelings about you. My grandmother often said, it isn't nice to speak ill of the dead. Today I'm thinking many have never heard that advice, certainly not many practicing it. For that reason, I'm writing it down. This is what I said. Those that I have disturbed may not tell the whole story. Yes, there are those that will speak ill of me. I remind myself however, as long as your name is being spoken you are still around. It's the closest thing to immortality that we are ever going to see. 

  I have on occasion printed some of these blogs. When I first began, I even had some printed in a book. Turns out it is quite expensive. I did that back in 2011. It was only 85 pages. That means I have another 4,915 pages at a minimum. I googled books over 5000 pages and they called them "tomes." Yes, if I did print them all as a single book it would be a tome. I have thought if the funds became available, I would have them all printed as volumes. Then I could give them as gifts to grands and great grands. Like a set of encyclopedias. Maybe I'll look into having that done as an e-book. Wonder what the cost there would be? Still, I like a physical book much better than any digital media files. Nothing like holding a book in your hands. 

  What's the point in writing all these blogs? I think if you asked a "professional" you would get some long-winded explanation. Perhaps someone has already written a dissertation on this very subject. A person with a PhD explaining it all. But the fact is, I just wanted to tell my story. Even if I were the only one reading that would be alright, I like listening to myself. Go ahead and analyze that. I just think we all want to be remembered. I'm leaving these blogs as a reminder. A sort of reference to a life. That's what I'm doing, a review. Merle Haggard may have summed all that up best when he wrote, "I guess everything does change except what we choose to recall" Some ancient Greek philosopher is credited with saying, " a society grows great when men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit" I'm thinking I'll go with that. I'm planting a forest! Whether it grows or gets chopped down I have no control over. All I can do, is try.