changes

 When you allow change, things become different. Then, over time that difference may come back to haunt you. I'm guessing that is what happens when you get old. Me, I'm not old yet, but I'm beginning to notice that. Not the getting old, the differences. The thing is I never adopted a number of changes, although having tried them. Those changes I now view as the foolishness of youth. And I've certainly participated in my share of foolishness over the years. Thing is I haven't allowed that foolishness to change me. I'm still the same old me. And in that, I think, we all find happiness and contentment. When you regret the foolish things you did in the past that leads to melancholy and despair. You can't change the past, but you can do a rewrite. It is the struggle between the truth and what we remember. I struggle with  the truth, while "forgetting" certain minor details. But it isn't actions that I'm talking about changing, I'm talking about our character, the thing that makes us who we are. The person we are, when we aren't playing a part. That is the person our true friends know and our spouses love. 

 I've seen a lot of changes take place so far. Things that shouldn't have been changed, but the majority has yet to realize that. It is the majority that control changes. It begins with youth. Young people just naturally want to try a different method, a new technique, make changes. Some try to live up to the past and some try to forge a new future. Others, like myself, just kind of take it day by day. In the past I was a bit more, shall we adventurous, quicker to act, than I am today. Time has tempered reason to a certain degree. Yes, I did act in a foolish and irresponsible manner on occasion. It is those occasions that I remember and laugh about most of all. Those occasions have formed my character and indeed, created what we sometimes call our reputation. Our reputation does one thing, create expectations. When our reputation precedes us that is what happens. But for me, because I have traveled around a good deal, I've had many chances to make changes. And yes those changes have made me different, but not really. I'm still the same old me, I just don't act upon those old impulses like I used to. But it is there, bubbling below the surface, and given the right set of circumstances it will erupt.

 As far as changes, I often mention some in these writing and ramblings of mine. One is the use of profane and crude language. It has become far too common a thing, an accepted thing in polite society. I'm not saying that language is ever good but I'm aware it is used in certain social situations. In the old days it was among sailors, bikers, and the rougher side of town. It wasn't used by ladies, nor spoken in the presence of ladies. Then along with the suffragette attitude, the ladies joined in, they felt equal to somehow, and today I hear that language in commercials on television. I see it often expressed in  comments on social media. It is a change, it is different. That language fosters an anger, that's the intent in that. To add emphasis! By cussing I am conveying my sincerity. The underlying message being, I'm willing to fight for this statement! And now, now many wonder how our society became so aggressive. That was the beginning, in my opinion. 

 When we begin redefining roles we create confusion. That has always been the case and will continue into the future, my guess being until mankind is extinct. Today we are at a place where we insist there are no roles. That's why the insistence that gender isn't assigned at birth, that you somehow get a choice about that. Now, that's a change! A drastic change in my opinion and one I categorize as foolishness. You may indeed be born with feelings that you are somehow different, but the way you respond to those feelings is a choice. Yes it is a choice! That isn't to say you should condemn others for their choices, just that a choice was made. That is unless you believe in destiny being a predetermined thing. In that case you don't have a choice, about anything. Then wouldn't we all be just going through the motions? Seems to me you can't have it both ways. Well, that's a change for sure. 

 My thinking is we can't stop changes, only adopt or reject them. Each generation makes some changes that they subsequently adopt as they age. Now some changes are necessary and right. That is true in society as well as in our personal lives. The societal changes reflect the personal changes. What is acceptable behavior? In my youth I engaged in a lot of foolishness. That behavior wasn't acceptable but tolerated to a degree. It was amusing to others, caused little lasting harm and as I said, tolerable. I'd say now forty years or more past my youth, that's subject to interpretation and debate, the things that bother me are the changes I do not accept. Whether or not I let others know that is dependent upon my honesty. I'm aware of my ever changing role. Today I'm grandpa to those I wish to influence the most. I'm not trying to impress the ladies, make new friends, advance my career, or anything like that. Today I'm grandpa, that crazy old man with strange ideas. Always warning others about making changes and adopting new attitudes. In their mind I've never been anything else, so what would I know about change. I need to get with it! I got with it though, years ago, and found out it wasn't always the best thing in the long run. Makes for wonderful memories though, when you can say, if only to yourself, remember that time? What was I thinking? You know older folks don't like changes much and there is a good reason for that. We're comfortable with ourselves. It's that simple. We are comfortable with the choices we have made, comfortable with the conclusions. When that happens changes stop, the decision has been made. Yeah, I know all the answers. Even when I don't like the answer, I don't try and change it. I just ask a different question.