Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Who's to judge?

 There are things we all wish we could do. I wish I could sing. I have absolutely no talent for that at all. Fact is, I lack any credible musical ability at all. I have had a guitar for forty years, can form lots of chords, I can even assemble those chords in a progression to make a song. Still, it's a pretty sad attempt. That doesn't stop me from playing that guitar though, I just keep on strumming. It's just that I no longer subject others to that. There was a time when I would play thinking others may enjoy it, I was wrong. Others sometimes tolerated it and after sufficient libations joined in. Now I realize they were more interested in drowning me out that playing along. As for the singing part, I can sing along fairly well, knowing what notes not to try and sing, I just skip those. My father always said he couldn't sing well but he could sing loud! Don't think I ever heard him sing a single song, I took his word for it. If I am anything like him, he was correct, I can't sing.
 Now I've heard how you can learn to do anything if you really want to. That's true, you can. Thing is you can't learn to do it well without first having some ingrained talent in that area. I firmly believe that. I don't make any claims to being a writer or a poet but I do seem to have some bent in that direction. It was something I did as a kid too, write stuff I mean. Being a writer, of any kind, wasn't anything anyone I knew aspired to. It certainly wasn't an occupation in my neighborhood. In some ways it was like John Boy on the Waltons television show. I didn't have the passion they portrayed him having though. I also received no encouragement at all. Truth is I was teased a bit about that, it not being a manly profession or talent. No better to be a mechanic, carpenter or fisherman! Those were the men I knew and admired. You didn't have to be a hunter, but should have a willingness to kill, if necessary. But I think all of that stems from simple human nature. Your parents wanting you to emulate them! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If we are happy with our choices, our values, isn't it a natural thing to want your children to believe the same? Of course it is. Christians don't raise their children to be Muslims or Jews. Yes that also is the basis for prejudice and racism, but it is a normal human thing. Perhaps the strangest part in all of that is man is a curious creature. Before we learn to be prejudicial, we are curious. It is only when we learn the differences that it begins to change.
 I'm beginning to wander off just a bit. But the whole prejudicial thing applies to talents of all kinds. If you had never heard anyone else sing and play the guitar you might be amazed, impressed even. The reason being you have nothing to compare it to. How can you judge good and bad? If it pleases you, it's a good thing. That way with just about everything isn't it? Yes it is until other people tell you differently, what we call peer pressure. It is also related to social norms, what is normal? Depends on the society. My guitar playing and singing falls outside an accepted norm. I'm well aware of that and I'm okay with that knowledge. I still wish I could do both a whole lot better. I remain convinced that ain't gonna happen, ever. It is what it is and that is what it will remain. Please no platitudes, no encouragement to the contrary.
 I also have no talent for art. I'm terrible at that. I admire those that can do that. My oldest brother was quite good at it. He dabbled in it but didn't pursue it. I often wondered why. Perhaps for the same reason I didn't pursue writing, being an artist wasn't something the normal guy did. There was a man, a friend to the family and a business partner to my uncle named Meredith Graves. We called him Uncle Gravy. He was an artist, worked for Disney Studios at one point, but I knew him as a carpenter. I asked him why and he told me he became bored with drawing pictures all day, every day. I saw his drawings and they were amazing, to him, they were just okay, functional, practical, and uninspired. Yes he realized they were very good but nothing exceptional. At least in his view they weren't. I can't say but suspect in a world filled with artists, filled with comparisons, he felt that way. As for me, it doesn't bother me that I can't paint, draw, sketch or any of that. It would come in handy but nothing I aspire to even try to do.
 I do feel frustrated with the guitar and singing at times. It just seems like it is something anyone should be able to do. I've had a few everyday heroes that can sing and play. With just three or four chords and the ability to carry a tune, they entertain for hours. I've always admired that. Sure the really great guitarists, think Eric Clapton, are simply amazing but they practice for hours every day, not to mention they are born with that ability. You can't learn to play like Eric Clapton, you are born with that. Just like you can't learn to paint a Picasso. Imitate perhaps but not create. I was born with no musical or artistic talent. Well you can't have it all, can you? You can, if you convince yourself you do. All depends upon the judge doesn't it? Yes I'd say it does. 

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