a conversation

 Perhaps life is nothing more than a conversation with God. It continues until one or the other decide to end it. That's the free will portion. Perhaps there is no such thing as fate or destiny, just a dialogue. Are my blogs, poems and postings merely a transcript of that conversation? I'm thinking that it could very well be. The great authors just had a more intelligent or thoughtful discussion than I. Or is that the great authors write what others wish they had thought of? What they wish they had questioned? I can't say but it's a possibility. I have said often there is little one can write or say that hasn't been written or said before. God, whatever you conceive that deity to be, has certainly heard it all before. He listens by our will, our belief only. If we do not believe, who is listening? That's a question I have asked myself and do not have an answer for. 

 Our first years we are limited to listening. We have to learn the language, learn to understand. Over time we learn the proper response to elicit an action that pleases us. Then we begin to learn how to manipulate the words to avoid the things we find unpleasant. I don't want to, is one of the first phrases we learn to employ. It is a declaration. We will spend the rest of our lives struggling between I don't want to and what is right. Sometimes we call that responsibility. At other times we call it maturity. When something is mature that indicates it is fully developed. The problem we all face is changing our minds, making alterations, never allowing ourselves to be fully developed, fully committed to an idea. Indeed, in society today that is encouraged as the mature thing to do! To remain committed, steadfast in your belief, will quickly get you labeled with a string of adjectives none of which are flattering. Bullheaded. stubborn, headstrong, inflexible, intransigent, intractable, obdurate, mulish and pigheaded to name a few. 

 After we understand the language we begin to learn what others think about everything. We begin to consider different views, different responses to situations. We listen as they explain the who, what, where , when and why of things. Then we process that information through the filter of our own experiences. The theory being, the more experience one has, the better they have processed information. And it is there that the wheels begin to fall off the wagon for some. Those folks begin to place too much trust, too much credence in what they are being told, even when that information goes contrary to their own experience. That's what Mom means when she asks; if Joey jumped off the bridge I guess you would too? You were listening to Joey, not to yourself. 

 The thing is we try to reconcile others experiences with our own. We do this by adopting or rejecting information. That's where the conversation with God begins. We all have an inherent sense of right and wrong. That has been observed and noted by man since the beginning. Ancient Greek philosophers knew that, heck, everybody knows that. Is it conscience or God, or is God our conscience? That is something for each of us to decide upon. Is God an out side force acting upon us? Or do we exert that force ourselves through our conscience? 

 Do we develop a conscience or are we born with that? I'd say we are born with an innate sense of right and wrong. Doctors may call it a response to stimuli, but to me, it's the same thing. As a baby when I'm hungry I know that ain't right, I cry out trusting the message is clear. I may cry for other reasons as well. But I will also smile or laugh. As my ability to communicate develops I begin to ask or make demands. How others respond to those requests and demands will influence my conscience. Well, in truth  how I perceive that conscience. That's where I decide what is fair. The issue is; being right and being fair doesn't always coincide with my view of morality and ethics. 

 Where do those qualities originate? We are not born with those qualities at all, they are learned traits. So that begs the question; just who is the teacher? Society is the answer, It can not be otherwise. We learn those traits in order to live in the society. If we adopt traits contrary to the society we will be rejected. Over our lifetime society changes. Some of us respond by just changing our morals and ethics to fall in line with the majority. Acquiescence becomes a habit, becomes comfortable to our conscience. Many of us will not alter or surrender our moral and ethical traits. We are the ones that will cry out! We cry out in opposition to what we know to be wrong. Our conscience will not allow it to be otherwise. We will keep on having that discussion until the end. That's true even if we are only talking to ourselves. One day the conversation will be over, then we will have an eternity to review our choices. A new conversation begins. I'm confident I'll have someone to talk too. I suppose I could just agree with everyone else but to do that I would have to dismiss my conscience. And that's something I just can't do. Shakespeare said: To thine own self be true. Whatever the consequences may be, you have to be true to yourself first. Perhaps life is nothing more than a conversation with God.