sleeping dogs

 Occasionally I'll begin to tell my wife a story, hesitate and say, I've written a blog about this. Her usual response is, you've written a blog about everything. Well, I've certainly covered a wide range of topics I won't dispute that fact. After nine years or so I am running a little short on material. I do make an effort to not repeat myself. Now I find myself repeating myself about not repeating myself. What's a man to do? But there are stories as yet unwritten. I won't say they aren't untold, I have shared them with my wife, friends and family but I haven't published them. As grandiose as it sounds when I post these blogs it is a publication. In theory it can be read by anyone. True it would be like finding a pamphlet in the worlds largest library but it could be found. For that very reason I haven't written those stories down. Those stories could be embarrassing to the individual or their relatives. I refrain out of a sense of propriety. Judging by some of the postings I read on social media propriety isn't as closely adhered to as it was in the past. The proprieties are not being observed. 

 These stories are about neighbors, family members and a few others in the community where I grew up. They are the stories that effected my life in some small way. That's why they are remembered and repeated, a rehashing of the tale, a new understanding perhaps. These incidents are the private little things that happen. I don't mind sharing some of my embarrassing stories, they are mine and I have a right. I also have stories I don't share and most likely never will, they are stories between me and my God. No one else needs to know. In my experience when you write a story and change the names to protect the individual, it usually fools no one. Also I feel a little bit like I would be betraying a trust to tell the tale, especially if that person is gone. They would have no opportunity to defend themselves. I was taught to never speak ill of the dead. Embarrassing that individual, even when they aren't here to be embarrassed, qualifies in my opinion. 

 I wonder though, does death release me of that obligation? What I mean is, can I record those stories, write them down for future generations, as long as I don't publish them? Would it be alright if those secrets were exposed after my passing? I couldn't be held accountable, that much is certain. But, the reason I don't publish them isn't for me, it isn't that I'm concerned for myself, I'm concerned for those that the story may effect. That's why we observe the proprieties. It is a form of respect. There are those that will argue the truth is the truth. Nothing wrong with telling the truth and no one should be ashamed of the truth. Well, I disagree. I could tell you some truths that I am indeed ashamed of. But I won't. 

 I believe I owe that much to the memory of those folks, and certainly to any still living. They are people that I like, generally speaking, and hold no malice against them. Even when I do I still hesitate to tell the tale. It is a bit ironic that some of the best tales are the ones you won't tell. Exercising restraint can be difficult. It's a temptation. As I mentioned earlier, it appears many are not exercising that restraint anymore, especially the main stream media. They will now broadcast everything and anything to gain viewers. Heck, they'll even make things up. I'm aware that most of the folks that read my blogs have some knowledge of me, my neighborhood, my town, and the characters in that town. I am conscious of that and so temper my writings. I wouldn't want to unwittingly expose past secrets. Or, as Mom would say, air dirty laundry! We all have different memories, a different set of facts we work with. There are things I know that you don't know, and vice versa. Those facts change things. Even when it happened fifty years ago or more, it can still have an impact today. Sleeping dogs are what they are commonly compared too. It's best to let them lie. Funny thing about sleeping dogs. Wake them up and they may bite you! They do seem to have a propensity to defend themselves before they even know who is attacking! People aren't much different than that, if you think about it.