you had to be there

 You know you are getting older when your best stories are the ones you won't repeat! You don't want your children to know you were ever that foolish and the grandkids wouldn't believe you anyway. Ah, but those stories are still there, tucked away in the corner of your mind somewhere. Sometimes they appear and you are reminded of those days. Occasionally you are tempted to share, but think better of it. Now those stories may be told in the third person, you know, a friend of mine did this or that, as a lesson to others, they can be instructional, something you shouldn't do. You try not to laugh when giving those lessons but it is a struggle. You pass the snicker and grin off as, it's because that person was so silly. You know you have all done that.
 That is the way it is with my generation anyway. We tend to keep our shortcomings to ourselves as much as possible. I'd say that has changed somewhat as today it is a badge of accomplishment if you did something that perhaps you shouldn't have. That applies double if you got caught at it! That way you can claim being the victim. Yes, I did this or that but I only did it because:  it wasn't my fault. I can't be expected to control myself! It was an addiction and an addiction is a disease. I didn't do anything wrong, I bear no responsibility for that, I had a disease. That's the narrative I keep hearing over and over. I hear that on television commercials all the time. You can't win against addiction alone! You can't do it! You can catch a disease on your own, through no fault of your own, your doctor may even prescribe an addiction! Takes professional help to get rid of it though so don't even try on your own, call the addiction hotline today!
 I do think it is only when you get older, when you have grown children and grandchildren that the picture begins to come into focus. The frivolity of youth that you thought so grown up is revealed as foolishness. True, much of that foolishness causes no harm, you do outgrow it, for the most part. It is often the things you enjoyed the most that you no longer wish to tell. Well it is hard to expect your children and grandchildren to take that high road if you keep telling them what fun you had on the low one. There's that, and there are the failures you would just rather not share. Remember I'm speaking for my generation, in general terms. My generation is the baby boomers. We grew up in a time of prosperity. Freedom baby! That was the cry of the baby boomers. Some of us experimented with socialism. Yeah, we called them communes, everybody sharing everything. Far out man. They all failed, some turned into cults with tragic results. We grew our hair long, expanded our minds and complained about the man. Then Disco came along and killed all of that. Probably a good thing too, we were headed for self destruction.
 This morning as I watched a video my wife shared to my timeline I was reminded of stories untold. Those stories are shared by the wife and I. Yes, it is the secret lives of parents. Things done that would seem out of character to those that know you today. What? Mom and Dad did what? I don't believe it. But, yes there are secrets kept and stories untold. Aunts, Uncles and family friends may hint at certain things from the past. I know I heard a few tales of my Dad and his adventures. Never heard those stories from him though, although I have to say he never denied them either. I wonder if that is why we were instructed to never speak ill of the dead. Does that mean don't tell the stories?  Well, at least the stories that may affect your legacy. And yes, we all leave a legacy. The stories we tell today will shape that legacy, we can control that just a bit by virtue of distance and age. It's not lying, it's leaving certain things out. It's not easy though, there are some good stories to tell, but then again, you had to be there to really understand.