There is a saying, lead, follow, or get out of the way. It seems to me I've just been trying to get out of the way lately. When I try to lead, no one follows. I can't follow others on what I perceive as a foolish path and so try to stand aside. It is the standing aside I find the most difficult. It isn't that I ever was a leader, or much of a follower, but this standing around is a frustration. A sense of urgency has come upon me. The desire to make a contribution of lasting value has become important to me. Is that what we call maturity? Could that be what I find disturbing?
I listen to the advertising on the television about these golden years. According to them, it's my time. I should be golfing, traveling, and generally enjoying life. There are many products available to assist me in maintaining my quality of life. There are even pills to make me perform like a teenager, heart attack or no! I should be living in a world independent of worry or concern. There are necklaces to wear should I fall, discounts galore for all my wants and needs, and comradery to be had at the retirement center. According to those advertisements I should be living the carefree life. I should have made my contribution by now and the rest of the world should be grateful that I have done so. Revered by family and friends alike, a quiet dignity surrounding me like a robe. But that isn't the way I feel at all, I'm not leading or following, I'm just standing around, watching. Oh I jump in when I can be of assistance, or as a stop gap measure, but for the most part, I'm riding the pine, to coin an old baseball adage.
Now I don't want to get a job, I don't want to volunteer, none of that. I'm not interested in " busy " work. That's what you give to children to entertain them. I don't require entertainment, I can certainly provide that myself. My issue is I feel a bit selfish doing so. I guess it is just the way I was raised. I was taught you had to be productive to be a good citizen. And being productive means of benefit to others. Yes, and part of that was the reason they paid you. A sense of value.
I do feel the need to be of benefit to others. Again I wonder if that is this maturity thing I hear about all the time. There are centers and a magazine called Modern Maturity. Is modern maturity different than old fashioned maturity? Yes, I guess it is, judging by what I saw my grandparents doing in their golden years. They remained helpful to others throughout their lives. They never retired to play golf or just sit and knit. They certainly weren't going out to dances, parties or hiking in the countryside. And when they spoke, the younger people listened. Yes, judging by that this modern maturity stuff is a bust! I'm not ready to be mature. I'm not ready to return to childhood, where my only concern was myself. I have grown up! Haven't I? Sometimes I do wonder about that. Have I matured or just aged? I wonder which is better? Is the goal to stay forever young? I recall the lyrics that Bob Dylan wrote in his song forever young,
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
There is much more to that song but I find that verse particularly telling. Stay busy, keep moving and believe. Belief is that strong foundation when the winds of change shift. I'd say it was a bit more than a breeze at the moment but I'm as equally certain the winds will calm. It's a cycle. It's all a cycle. I think, like everyone else, I will try to avoid the last cycle, the return to the beginning. It's futile, I know that, but I still have my beliefs. I'll just keep trying. In the meantime, I'm getting older, trying to avoid this modern version of maturity. I don't believe I like it much. Hmm, that doesn't sound very mature. I'm doing alright.
I listen to the advertising on the television about these golden years. According to them, it's my time. I should be golfing, traveling, and generally enjoying life. There are many products available to assist me in maintaining my quality of life. There are even pills to make me perform like a teenager, heart attack or no! I should be living in a world independent of worry or concern. There are necklaces to wear should I fall, discounts galore for all my wants and needs, and comradery to be had at the retirement center. According to those advertisements I should be living the carefree life. I should have made my contribution by now and the rest of the world should be grateful that I have done so. Revered by family and friends alike, a quiet dignity surrounding me like a robe. But that isn't the way I feel at all, I'm not leading or following, I'm just standing around, watching. Oh I jump in when I can be of assistance, or as a stop gap measure, but for the most part, I'm riding the pine, to coin an old baseball adage.
Now I don't want to get a job, I don't want to volunteer, none of that. I'm not interested in " busy " work. That's what you give to children to entertain them. I don't require entertainment, I can certainly provide that myself. My issue is I feel a bit selfish doing so. I guess it is just the way I was raised. I was taught you had to be productive to be a good citizen. And being productive means of benefit to others. Yes, and part of that was the reason they paid you. A sense of value.
I do feel the need to be of benefit to others. Again I wonder if that is this maturity thing I hear about all the time. There are centers and a magazine called Modern Maturity. Is modern maturity different than old fashioned maturity? Yes, I guess it is, judging by what I saw my grandparents doing in their golden years. They remained helpful to others throughout their lives. They never retired to play golf or just sit and knit. They certainly weren't going out to dances, parties or hiking in the countryside. And when they spoke, the younger people listened. Yes, judging by that this modern maturity stuff is a bust! I'm not ready to be mature. I'm not ready to return to childhood, where my only concern was myself. I have grown up! Haven't I? Sometimes I do wonder about that. Have I matured or just aged? I wonder which is better? Is the goal to stay forever young? I recall the lyrics that Bob Dylan wrote in his song forever young,
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
There is much more to that song but I find that verse particularly telling. Stay busy, keep moving and believe. Belief is that strong foundation when the winds of change shift. I'd say it was a bit more than a breeze at the moment but I'm as equally certain the winds will calm. It's a cycle. It's all a cycle. I think, like everyone else, I will try to avoid the last cycle, the return to the beginning. It's futile, I know that, but I still have my beliefs. I'll just keep trying. In the meantime, I'm getting older, trying to avoid this modern version of maturity. I don't believe I like it much. Hmm, that doesn't sound very mature. I'm doing alright.
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