Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Monday, June 5, 2017

listening

 You know when I was growing up adults lived in a sort of secret world. I was told that children were to be seen, not heard. How many times I was told to " get outside " the grownups are talking I can't even imagine. There were things the old folks talked about that was just none of your business. Now that I have reached the age of majority, shoot you could say it was a crowd, I understand all of that. I also agree that it was a better method. It was better to discover these " adult " things for yourself. Then you kept that knowledge from your parents for as long as you could. Hey, being a kid did have some advantages. You could use that " lack of knowledge " to your benefit every now and again. Granted those times were far and few between, my parents weren't stupid, but I could fool them every once in a while. I knew about Santa Claus for a couple years. That happens when you are the youngest. The older kids just have to tell you to prove their superior intellect. But if you are smart enough you just cry about it and tell Mom and Dad. They want you to " believe " and will support you. You also get that special present you want so much, just as long as you are reasonable about it. I mean, don't get greedy.
 Now people tend to fear what they don't understand. That is just plain human nature. My parents kept you in the dark about a lot of stuff. That was by design. When I heard them whispering about so and so is in " trouble " I was curious. I often heard that somebody was going to be lucky if they didn't get themselves shot ! Putting two and two together I just naturally figured doing whatever it was to get a girl in " trouble " could get you shot ! I figured I'd try to avoid that situation.  A little later I learned what that something was, that was what older brothers and magazines were for. Of course the teenage years come along and you quit thinking altogether for the most part, but that is another story. But when I was growing up I was kept sheltered from a lot of stuff. Now I knew that money didn't grow on tress and just because everyone else was doing it didn't make it right. Those lessons were taught early on. It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing you have to think for yourself. Most of those secrets the adults kept were about other adults that didn't follow that advice ! I guess they didn't want us kids to know that they made mistakes. I admired my Dad, no doubt about that, and for a while I thought he was infallible. It was his friends that filled me in on his secret life. Yes he had done foolish things and made stupid decisions. I quickly learned it was best not to bring that up though, at least not with him. You do have to learn with whom and about who you can gossip. That is what the secret conversations were all about, gossip.
 I suppose you could look at all this two ways. Either you discover the truth and are disappointed, or you take a measure of satisfaction in that knowledge. In my case it was the later. I did, and truth be told, still take satisfaction in knowing my parents, and all those adults, aren't much better than me. It's funny when you are a kid you can't wait to " grow " up. Then when you are " grown " you find it isn't all you thought it would be. There really isn't any secret knowledge. No, the secret is talking about someone else's misfortunes. The fun was keeping it from the kids. Makes you feel pretty adult doesn't it ? Admit it, that is how it feels. Well I think that is how it used to be anyway. Nowadays it is all different. Nowadays parents tell the kids everything, shoot they even teach in elementary school what I never heard about till high school ! Even then your Dad had to take you to the gym in the evening for a special film presentation. Mom had to take my sister on a different night. I'd say we were told the basics. After that I knew , for sure, how to get a girl in " trouble. " I also learned that if you married her first it wasn't trouble then, it was a blessing ! Ah, for the good old days. I still believe kids should be made to listen and not speak for  a number of years. Listening is the greater skill. They will be plenty of time for talk later on. That's what adults do, talk about it. Mostly they just discuss how everyone else is wrong. That's the secret.