Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Sunday, May 28, 2017

self awareness

 Yesterday I was playing around with my slide show program. I have made a few slide shows in the past and enjoy doing that. Thing is I just don't have a lot of patience with it. I'm always anxious to get to the end. It can take some time to get it right. Anyway, I remembered that some time back some folks were curious about the sound of my voice. Well not really the sound but whether or not I retained a certain dialect. Now I've never claimed to possess this dialect in the first place but grew up in the area that is was spoken. I never doubted that I picked up some of the phrases and inflections in that speech but not the entire dialect. It has been my contention that the true speakers of that dialect are all but passed on now. I think the last of them were in my parents generation. I certainly knew a few and it wasn't easy to understand exactly what they were saying. The speech is rapid and filled with odd sayings. Oh there are a few obvious ones that you hear to this day more as a nod to that heritage, than a manner of speech. Speech like anything else has to be used to be kept alive. The old folks are mostly gone and that speech went with them for a variety of reasons. So anyway, I made a recording and got mixed reviews. Some say they could hear that dialect a bit and some not at all.  It was interesting though as I didn't know what to expect. I do know, and I think this would be true for most of us, that I don't like the way my voice sounds when recorded. Something must be wrong because I sure don't sound like that ! Well my bathroom mirror is defective too, I don't look like that either. It's a conspiracy.
 I wondered about putting a voice to the name. For many of you folks that read these blog you have never heard me speak. The only words you hear are the ones you read. Do you ever imagine what that voice sounds like ? Strangely when I read your words, you all sound like me. well except for the ladies, I'm nor sure what voice I hear then. And I think I'll leave that speculation alone. When I was recording I tried my best to just talk the way I naturally would. It is not as easy as one would think, especially when you are just talking to yourself. I read a blog that I had written while back. I don't believe I write the same way I speak though. I make an effort to be as true to myself as possible. Of course there is a little voice inside saying, don't sound like an idiot ! That is when the " big " words creep in. Using words that others don't understand can make you seem smarter, right ? Sometimes I think that is just the case and I do try to avoid that. Still the correct word will convey your thoughts more clearly and it is a necessity at times. Writing is a one way communication for the most part. I do want you to understand what I mean.
 Another part in all of this is looks. I don't post many photos of myself. The reason is a simple one, I don't have many. I'm a little old for the selfie thing. I really don't like posed pictures either. As a rule posed pictures don't show the real person. Now moving pictures tell a different story altogether. If you could see me while I was talking that would change things yet again. I do tend to speak as much with my hands as I do my lips. Or at least I think I do. I would say I am not overly animated as some folks tend to be but hand gestures are important in conveying the message. I suppose I could set up the video camera and combine it all. The thing there is it wouldn't be the real me. I think maybe that is why some folks are good actors and others are not. If you can just relax, be completely yourself or adopt another personality in front of the cameras, or an audience you can be an actor. The secret is, you have to be able to do that with yourself, when no one is looking. Seems backyards doesn't it ? But I think that is the secret. If you can discard any sense of being self conscious you stand a chance of success. Confidence is key. Is the key to confidence a lack of self consciousness ? I've seen a few cases where I thought that must be the case ! There was no other explanation for the performance. Funny how this can be true in my eyes and the person is still successful ! All a matter of opinion I suppose.
 I have considered posting a few of my blogs in video format to You Tube. I wonder if I would get any views and what would people have to say ? It could be a crushing experience. I know that they say going " viral ' is a good thing but I'm not certain I want a virus. Fact is I'm not that confident and I am self aware. I may try it to satisfy my curiosity. Do I want to set myself up for the abuse though ?