The heart knows

 For many of us we work and save our money to get the things we want. New houses, cars, boats or whatever. We take vacations and see the places we dreamed about as children. We buy the latest tech and gadgets. For years we are amused and entertained by these things. We like to show them off to friends and family. We want everyone to know how successful we are. But, also for most, it all wears off. Then we sit and remember the days of our youth. We want back what was left behind. It is all there in our memories,  yet we can't quite reach it. These things are different for each of us, as they relate to our own experiences. For me, the things I desire the most have no price tag upon them, they are priceless. I long to walk in the footsteps of my ancestors, smell the ocean breeze of my youth and hear the sounds of the gulls. All of that and much more. It is that warm feeling called nostalgia. Nostalgia is the embrace of childhood, innocent and pure, not yet tainted with life. That is what I wish for now. That is where the value lies.
 It is ironic this passage we call life. We know where we start but not where we go. Oh, we have our beliefs, our hopes, that comfort us on the voyage. For some there is little comfort to be had, while others bask in the glow of it all. Some will get lost and just wander. I do believe the majority of us just want to go back home, wherever that may be. It has been said home is where the heart is and I understand that sentiment. I believe home is where our memories live. Our essence was formed at " home " and tempered by life. Those that become too hardened become brittle and break, too soft and you just bend. Obtaining the correct temper is the challenge we all face. It is why we refer to a persons temperament ! Getting heated and being quenched determines the temper of steel,  and the soul.
 It is easy to get lost in the past as well. It can become romanticized to the point of distortion. You do have to remember that roses have thorns. There were reasons for the choices you made. Mostly though I believe this, it is not so much the place as the people around you. Home is where all those folks lived. Family, friends and neighbors all captured in a place and time. Even when the place still exists, the time does not. The people of my youth have moved on in life just as I have. People do change over time, as their temper develops. I'm not immune nor is anyone else. Time does have a way of erasing bad memories, or at the least keeping them in dark corners. When we get that feeling of nostalgia we can become blind to all of that. The reality was their were many more days of boredom and drudgery than days of ecstatic bliss ! Still there are time when the heart just wants a few moments. Everything is best when enjoyed in moderation. That I firmly believe to be true. If you have it everyday, it isn't special. If you deny yourself something, you increase its' value.
 Everyday wasn't special back then no matter how much we think otherwise. It is just that we have been denied it for so long. Accepting the reality that we will never have it again can be a bitter pill to swallow. That, of course, is the function of memory, to allow us to visit. We go see all the attractions of the past. While we are there we forget about the cost, much like being at an amusement park. We avoid the dark corners and places we don't wish to see. After a while though the gate closes and we return to the real world. Having paid the price of admission we had our fun. Maybe when the final payment has been made we will remain there forever, wherever that may be. No need to worry, the heart knows where that is.