Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

looking at the past

 I often sense emotion when looking at old photographs. I expect it is the same thing some folks feel when looking at paintings or sculpture. I do get that feeling occasionally from those objects but no where near as strongly. Perhaps it is simply because the old pictures I am looking at are my ancestors or old family friends. Maybe it is a connected energy that I sense. Many of those folks in those pictures were long since passed before my time. Still, I feel a sort of connection to their emotional state. I can look at a picture for an extended period of time imagining what their thoughts may have been. Well at least none have started talking to me yet, that's a relief. There was a time when I read a lot of Stephen King and so that possibility exists in my mind. It would be terrifying though, as least if I was aware of it. Can I be sure they are not ? Yes, for now I'm certain of that.
 I mentioned this incident before but I did buy a picture frame at the Walmart that creeped me out a bit. It is one of those frames that you can record a brief message on electronically. When you push a button on the side of the frame it plays back that message. I picked it up at the store, pushed the button and it said, Hello Ben ! I was instantly creeped out. I was looking at frames for my grandmother Katherine. That lady had long since passed, not even my father had known her. Fact is, I only discovered her name a few years ago and the picture was provided by a person I have never met. This person is a distant relative working on his family tree. Yes, it is the same tree as mine. So, when that frame said Hello Ben you can understand the creepiness. Grandmother Katherine is in that frame looking down at me as I write. She is quite happy. My feeling is that picture was taken for a specific purpose. Maybe it was to be a gift. I am drawn to it every now and again.
 That is why I like having so many pictures around. The majority of them are my ancestors and I feel their presence. It is a comfort to me. They say some folks have an old soul and I believe that is true of me. Is it past lives ? I wouldn't know anything about that but wouldn't rule it out either. I have said in the past that I believe we are energy, that is what our souls are. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed from state to another. So, logic tells me it is possible. I don't operate solely on logic however, so I can't eliminate the spiritual either. I believe there is a reward for correct behaviors. The strange part is that I get more out of the pictures where I have no direct memory associated with that picture. I'm thinking that those pictures, those memories, have to age a bit more. Maybe memories are like a fine wine and do get better with age. I wonder if a future generation may connect with my memories ? Will someone in the future look at my pictures and feel a connection ? Will there be a thread of energy there ? I find myself compelled to believe so. If I didn't there wouldn't be much point in any of it, would there ? It is an amazing thing really. I can look up and call each of them by name. Some are the names I grew up with and heard tales of them. Others name I uncovered. Yet, I feel a connection to them all, in varying degrees. Sometimes the oldest being the strongest ! The circle of life perhaps ? Well, if that is the case I hope that doesn't mean I'm getting closer to the beginning of the circle. Do you know what I mean ? Of course on the bright side I'll get to start over, maybe do better next time.