Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Friday, March 10, 2017

friends and company

 I don't have a lot of close friends. I never have and most likely never will. There are many reasons for this that I'm sure a doctor could analyze. Personally I think it is simply because I don't surround myself with folks that just agree with whatever I say. To me, that would have to be the most boring existence of all. Well unless I had millions of dollars to go with them, then I could handle that. Even then I think I would probably be firing a lot of folks all the time. You shouldn't have to work at keeping friends, if you do, there is something wrong. Sure you will make mistakes, errors in judgement now and again that may strain that friendship but they shouldn't be deal breakers every time. Nor should you just concede to maintain that friendship. Yes it is true your circle of friends may be small as a result, but they will be the people you can count on.
 We have a " friends " list on Facebook these days. That is a bit off a misnomer if ever there was one. My list isn't very large at all compared to many of the folks I know. I've even known folks to have competition to see how many " friends " they can gather. I do think that trend has subsided a great deal now that we also have to be concerned with hacking. I accepted a friend request yesterday only to discover it wasn't my friend at all. Had to change my password and hope for the best. It isn't my " friends " fault just part of everyday life on social media. Maybe we should have an acquaintance list instead. That list would be for those folks we aren't really friends with.
 Remember in the old days when you would be put on " speed dial " if you were a close friend ? The friends list could be like that, a more stringent vetting, to use the popular term today, would get you moved up to that list.
 Never being one for fad or fashion I wasn't part of the in crowd growing up. For reasons I can't explain I was just never interested in that stuff. Oh, I tried to be " cool " and all but not to extremes. It always struck me as a bit phony. Fad and fashion is nothing more than copying what someone else has already done. I just don't see the point in that. I also didn't want to set my own fashion or start a new fad. Oh, there were a few instances where my fashion choices were questionable. If you knew me in high school you would have noticed. For the most part however I was just in the mainstream, swimming along non descript. I hung out with a small group of friends, well truth be told two small groups of friends. I just floated between the two groups. I had the uptown group and the downtown group. Two worlds really.
 I like to think of myself as confident. Yup, I'm not ashamed of who or what I am at all. This is me, take it or leave it. That is the attitude I was taught. My father was the same way, you either liked him or got mad at him all the time. He was a man you went to if you wanted to get something done though. A man of action. Dad wasn't much for discussion. We differ in that regard I'll talk about whatever until the cows come home. If my mind is made up you won't change it. Stubborn is what some folks call it, I call it confidence. I do think I have become less combative in recent years. Hot headed ? I've been accused of that. It is seldom that I quit and just dismiss another person. Mostly folks quit on me. That's alright, it is their life to live after all.
 As I said I have few friends. Thing is I'm never lonely though. I find myself to be good company. That's why I don't get it when others don't. I'm honest, straightforward and sincere. All the things people say they admire in a person right up until they meet that person. Strange isn't it ? Guess I just don't go along with everything and have a different opinion. One thing I have learned from going along with the crowd is I usually get lost. The crowd and the cool kids have led me away from the things I knew to be correct. I can't take those things back, there are a part of my history but I did learn from them. I got trampled by the crowd ! So I have slowed down a bit, keeping a safe distance and getting a better view in the process. Yes, it is easier to just go with the crowd, gain popularity and be compliant. I don't recommend it though. Better to retain integrity than to gain a " friend " is my advice. If you require a lot of friends to be happy, it is because you don't like your own company  much.
 There are friends and there is company. I enjoy company, I wouldn't deny that. People fascinate me most of the time. Granted there are times when they annoy me just as easily. Company however, you can leave, just walk away. Company is not so important. Friends are more than company though, friends are really family. Your friends are the family you choose. They can annoy you but they are always there. You listen to them even when you don't want to hear it. You may not let them know that and it's alright. Friends are a bit like religion in my thinking. I don't need to tell them how much I love and care about them all the time. Making proclamations about that relationship does nothing to strengthen the relationship. Broadcasting that feeling to the world serves no purpose. You see meme's about that on the Internet. Friends can go for years without speaking and pick up right where they left off. Same with our God is my thinking.
 My Mom has a saying about company, after three days it begins to stink ! I wouldn't be quite that harsh in my judgement. Company can get unpleasant rather quickly no denying that. I'm hesitant to walk away from company because I wouldn't want to miss something. Maybe that is why I don't " unfriend " people on Facebook, except for one exception I haven't anyway. I'll give folks a chance to see my truth. Sounds self righteous doesn't it ? I suppose it is. Thing is, when I believe I'm right it is what I believe. It would be less than honest to say otherwise. If I can't be honest with you we aren't going to be friends very long. It also doesn't mean I won't keep company with you. I'm just never one much for taking my ball and going home. You go, I'll stay and play ball, even if I have to play by myself. Yup, I'm that stubborn.