Relieved

  I was in the Navy for twenty years and retired from that job. That is what it was to me anyway, something I did to make a living and provide for the family. I'd like to tell you about patriotism, the love of country and that whole thing but that wasn't want made me join up. No, I had graduated high school, wasn't going to college and the employment opportunities in my hometown were limited. Yes, I'm proud that I did that, like others are proud they went to college or whatever, that sort of proud. Credit has to go to my wife for encouraging me to stay. She had to spend a lot of time alone because of that and she did that voluntarily, not an easy thing to do. But this morning I thought to write a bit about my military life. Everyone experiences that differently, even when they serve together. For me it wasn't all that different from being in high school. You had all the little cliques, groups, bullies, and backstabbers along with the few that you made friends with.

  In my twenty years of service I spent about twelve of them at sea. I did get shore duty at a repair facility and was a recruiter as well. Shore duty is a lot better than sea duty regardless of any sea stories you may have heard to the contrary. Join the Navy and see the world is true enough. Thing being you soon learn that the world is about 71% water. If you want to see the land, join the Army. I did go to a lot of places, a lot of ports of call, and see many cultures. It wasn't like being on a vacation though. Everywhere I went I had to be aware of being an American sailor, not always welcomed even back in those days. Normally you got one or two days to go "ashore" and all the rest was onboard ship, working or standing watch. There were card games and a movie most every night. Some had instruments and would play them. But mostly it was just boredom. I was bored most of the time! 

  I was in when Vietnam ended and so didn't get involved with that. I did go to Desert Shield/Desert Storm in a supporting role and various other engagements. Never was I in a sea battle, never was I in immediate danger of attack or anything like that. One side of me is thankful for that while another feels cheated. I always feel a bit embarrassed when others want to "thank me" for my service and for what images they may have. I'm no hero. The one thing that really bothers me is stolen valor, the most despicable thing one can do. I was just doing my job as best as I could manage under the circumstances. The same as we all do in our working environment. Sometimes you like the job and the boss, at others, not so much. Your co-workers are just like those classmate you had, some great, most a big pain in the butt.

  The truth is I never really fit into that picture aboard ship. I wasn't gung-ho as the saying goes nor was I interested in being the "best" sailor. Every job has an image. Back in 1971 sailors were still expected to be sailors! Yes, that Hollywood image of what a sailor is and does was very much alive and well. I can't speak for what the culture today may be, it has been thirty one years since I retired. I am certain some of the antics, foolish choices and actions that were common place back then would get you rehabilitated today! I expect you would be subject to an intervention! I was still in the era of "don't ask, don't tell" and all of that. It was a world of the alpha male. They did allow the ladies to serve aboard ship during my time and I served with them. It definitely changed the dynamics of the environment. It wasn't a bad thing necessarily, it was just a change.

  I'm no Alpha male. I'm not ashamed to say that. There is no scientific evidence of any such thing existing anyway. It's a made term not used by the professional head doctors. For the most part an alpha male is just a bully in my opinion. The only way to deal with bullies is stand up to them. It makes little difference if you can actually win the combat, the willingness to engage in the battle is usually sufficient. In my experience bravado is the chief element of an alpha male. The rest of us either go along or go our own way. I went my own way and in fact, still do. That is what is right for me, doesn't make any difference to me if you agree or not. For that reason I made few friends over that twenty year span but had a lot of shipmates. I am no longer in contact with anyone I ever served my time with. No, I don't have any old sailor buddies to swap sea stories with. I do think and wonder what happened to some but the vast majority I have dismissed and forgotten about. No loss to me. I'm certain they feel the same way. 

  While in the service twenty years seems like forever. If you stayed beyond your initial enlistment others began calling you a lifer. Yes, I was 18 when I joined and 38 when I retired. It was a lifetime. I was a lifer. But I wasn't a lifer as I never did adopt the whole cultural thing of a being a sailor. It was simply a place I was. It's a difficult thing to explain. I guess what I'm thinking about is called going all in. That wasn't anything I ever did. I was hedging my bets the whole time. It was often said that Navy meant, never again volunteer yourself. There is some truth to that. It is usually not a wise decision to volunteer for anything when the boss comes around. The best scenario was always when you could answer with, I have the watch. The watch comes before anything else you will do in the service, at least in the Navy it is. And standing watch was the only thing I would volunteer to do. I stood my last watch at the Annapolis Naval Station as a "policeman."  I was relieved of that watch on Oct 1, 1993. 

  I would do it all again if it became a necessity. At 38 when I received a plaque commemorating my service it was engraved with these words after my name, Father Time. Yes, those giving me that plaque figured I was pretty old. I had served a lifetime. Today all of that seem like a few lifetimes ago. All that remains are some certificates, old photographs and memories. My uniform hangs in the closet, ready to go whenever. I haven't put that on in quite a few years now. Closets are known for shrinking things and I expect that uniform has suffered from that as well. 

 You know, as with most things, it is a lot better to talk about it than actually doing it, whatever it is. With my naval service I get to write that history, tell that story and there is no one here to dispute any of it. Well, except for my wife, but she didn't go to sea with me. When you retire from the Navy the parting wish from your shipmates will be; fair winds and a following sea. I have enjoyed just that since 1993 and I'm grateful. But for me, I know another saying, another way of expressing all of that, from a bit of family history. Without telling the whole story that expression is, "well, we had a damn fine sail"