It seems to be a recent trend, at least to me it is, but I'm told it has been a thing for quite some time. I guess it started with the wedding "registry" thing. What I'm thinking about is the practice of telling others what gifts you want for every occasion. I agree it is a very practical thing to avoid duplication of gifts. That can certainly be annoying when you have to return them to the store to get something you really wanted. Yeah, pretty unthinking of people isn't it. Well, the problem really is they are thinking. That's why we should all have a list available of the stuff we want. A list that can be checked and inventoried to avoid all that duplication. No need to think about anything other than how much you wish to spend. Gifts should be listed with the prices and where they can be purchased as well. Now that's the spirit of giving.
When I was growing up it didn't work that way. Well, unless it was Christmas, and you made your list for Santa Claus that is. Even then it was a conditional thing, you had to have been good all year. Just behaving for a few weeks before wasn't going to cut it. If only in July I hadn't, well, maybe next year. I was told you should put some thought into whatever gift you chose to give. The recipient of the gift wasn't supposed to be expecting anything. Yes, receiving a gift was supposed to be a surprise. Now we all expected to get a gift when we invited others to our birthday parties, Christmas or whatever. Thing was you weren't supposed to show that, and you were expected to be excited about every gift you received. Some of us were better at that than others. I was told, it's the thought that counts. And yes, it certainly is the thought that is the most important part of all that. Something I'm afraid many aren't learning today. It seems today doing your research is more important than thinking about what gift to give.
Perhaps it is just me, but I feel a little pressured when I'm given a link to a gift registry. I'm aware that many stores have them these days and of course online. I feel like I need to check the list, see what has or hasn't been purchased and pick accordingly. The one receiving the gifts has spent some time anticipating these purchases. Like I was when circling the items in the Sears Christmas wish book! I circled the items I wanted, highlighting certain ones that were more desirable, while providing some low cost alternative choices for my siblings to choose from. Yes, it was all a very calculated thing. And I think that is what bothers me about this gift registry stuff. Seems like they are expectations. Having a registry doesn't make it easier for me, you aren't doing me any favor, just causing stress. I also don't like the fact that the recipient will know exactly what the cost of the gift was. That's one reason I hate giving gift cards. Here's a few bucks, pick out your own gift, I can't be bothered with that.
I have never personally had a gift registry of any kind. I'm not counting the lists, the letters to Santa or the marked-up Sears catalogues. If you choose to give me anything I'm hoping, you think about it for a bit. What do you think I would like? For me the objective is always to make the person smile when they open that gift. Whether the smile is because the gift is just silly or because it is something they secretly wanted makes little difference to me. The objective is to make them happy. That's what gifts are for.
I believe gifts should be the same for adults as they were when we were children. They shouldn't necessarily be what we need, but what we want, or didn't know we wanted. The latter makes the best gifts. As a kid I knew I needed new clothes, socks and stuff but didn't want those for Christmas, that isn't what was circled. I circled the mini-bike. Didn't need that, knew I probably wouldn't get that, but it is what I wanted. Then I got something I didn't know I wanted and what a surprise that was. They were the best gifts. That's why I ripped into those gifts. What is it? Checking it against the list is something I never did. By Christmas morning I had forgotten what was on the list. Birthdays were like that on a much smaller scale. Gifts aren't about practicality, about what you want or need. Gifts should be the vehicle another person uses to express their affection, thoughts, or feelings toward the recipient. Think about it. Yup, still true to this day, it's the thought that counts. Gifts are an expression of gratitude. I'm grateful you are my friend and here is something to signify that. You don't need this, but you should have it! You are that valuable to me.
- "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill
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