eat the candy

  It's one of those strange things in life. When you are young the future is so far away, but when you are old, the past is always close by. I was thinking about that yesterday. It would have been my sisters 72nd birthday but she left this world nearly five years ago. It will be five years in December, just before Christmas. My brother Harold also passed just before Christmas nine years ago. Neither one seems to be that long ago, both remain fresh and new in my thoughts. I remember as children we waited for Santa Claus together and it took so long for that day to come. That's what I mean about when you are young the future is so far away. We are unaware at just how fast life is rushing at us, our focus is on the day and what we believe we will have tomorrow. So much to look forward too. So anxious to be "grown up." And then, just like that we spend more time remembering than doing, the past is the place we want to go. If only we could go, just for a short time, a brief visit, time enough to say a few words or hold that hand one more time. The future isn't so far away anymore, what waits for us we aren't anxious to see. There is no longer any hurry in that regard. 

  A great deal of that depends upon your personality. When you were a kid and got all that Halloween candy did you hurry to eat it all or did you squirrel it away? I wasn't one to wait, to deny myself that candy. I had heard of others that exercised self-control, ate just a little at a time, made it last. I thought they were foolish people. Everyone knows a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. It is best to enjoy what you have today because tomorrow is never promised to you. Sure the "grown ups" urged you to save some, put it away for a rainy day but I knew better. No, best to eat it as soon as possible. I guess that is also why I was never one to collect anything. I mean, to curate a collection. I just have never been that fascinated with one thing. Ironically today I would like to collect what has past. All the moments, the little things of everyday life taken for granted. I do have far more memories than mementos. Like I said I just never collected anything.

  The holiday season is fast approaching once again. It arrives sooner every year. As a kid I thought it would never arrive. There was an excitement, an anticipation that came with that that has dulled over the years. It isn't that I'm not looking forward to it just I'm not as anxious as I used to be. The grandkids are all grown now so there are no little ones. That is what I miss the most, the excitement of the little ones when Santa arrives. I think ages three to ten are the prime years for that. Well, at least when I was young it was. The kids today are "ahead" of the times these days. The magic of Christmas is slowly being replaced by Walmart and Amazon! Hopefully I'll be around for great grandchildren and see their excitement. I still put tinsel on the tree and leave cookies for Santa. The holidays are for sentimental thoughts and feelings. Memories of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. They don't seem that long ago as I remember getting that Sting Ray bicycle I so wanted. I can still feel that excitement. It took forever to get there, but it has remained forever. It has been a lot of yesterdays. How much future is left? I don't know the answer to that question, so I'll just eat the candy today.