all I need

  I've always heard about the importance of setting goals. That was usually from someone trying to sell me something. That's true even when the only thing they were trying to sell was their self-help book. I always figured that wasn't self help if I had to buy a book to do it, isn't the point of the book to help me. But that's just the way I see things. Now I've set goals most of my life, but I wouldn't say I pursued them. I just sort of let it be, as the Beatles said in their song. Not much of a Beatles fan so don't beat me up on the meaning of that song. My point is simply I'm not what you would call goal oriented. I've always done whatever needs to be done and perhaps a bit more. I'm not one to strive for a higher position at work or want anything long enough to work years to obtain it. I can see where that may motivate others, provide impetus to achieve, but it doesn't work that way for me personally. Maybe I've always gotten what I needed too easily. My needs have been fulfilled. I can't honestly say I have been deprived of anything I had a real need for. It is an understanding of need versus want.  

 I think a good number of my generation, the boomers, understand that as well. It is the way we were raised. Our parents may or may not have had actual memories of the great depression, but their parents sure did. Much like a good number of us boomers may speak of WW2, Korea and Vietnam. It is a bit of shared memories mixed in with actual memories. Those memories do tend to run together over time. For many of us boomers the goal was simple enough, to have the things you needed and some of the things you wanted. That seems to have shifted a bit in my eyes. It seems today many believe they are entitled to the things they want and that is the goal in life, to get those things. On the surface of things there is nothing wrong with wanting things, working toward getting those things and enjoying them when you have them. It can also lead to problems, however. Emotional issues being the most prominent thing I'm seeing. The incidence of anxiety, depression and emotional instability is definitely on the rise. Many are becoming emotional cripples! Their feelings are hurt, they're offended and afraid. 

  Equanimity. Now there's a ten-dollar word if I ever heard one. I ran across that word, looked up its' meaning and have been waiting for an opportunity to use it. So far it hasn't come up in conversation. Well often these blogs of mine are a conversation with myself so I'm counting it this time. I didn't set out to get the word in here it just crept in on its' own. It does fit in with setting goals. Equanimity basically means keeping your cool in all situations. That's a noble goal. For us boomers it simply means, straighten up and fly right! It was something we were taught to do, not a goal in life. The goal was not to be caught doing otherwise. It wasn't a goal, it was an expectation. You can't live on the emotional edge. Stay calm and don't worry about tomorrow. The Bible gives us that advice as well. The Bible is full of great advice probably the best self-help book ever. It's true whether you believe the story or not. You don't have to believe in Karma for tomorrow to happen. 

  As for goals, I would say I don't have any. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Work hard, treat others fairly, and enjoy the things you have. You have only one person to satisfy in this world and that person is you. That is the goal, in my opinion. There are a lot of things I can say I want, but few that I would be willing to work a lifetime for. If I work a lifetime to achieve that goal, there's no time left to enjoy it. For that reason, I question this concept of life goals. The folks at AA got it right with the one day at a time concept, although you could say the idea came from the Bible and possibly other religious texts of the past. Its' not important where it came from, the advice holds true. 

  I read a story about a son that had embarked on a whaling voyage. His goal was to earn enough money to buy some property and start a farm of his own. In those days that was a real possibility, something attainable with a bit of hard work and luck. The journey lasted over two years and hadn't proven to be much of a success. Upon returning home and settling his debts with the company for clothing and a few supplies he was left with very little money. He returned home to his wife and children feeling pretty depressed and defeated. He went for a walk with his father and shared this disappointment with him. There was little the father could say to the son but what he did say, at least according to the story, has stuck with me. The father said, well, never mind that son, you had a damn fine sail. And that has become my goal if you want to call it that, a goal. In the end I'm hoping I can say, it was a damn fine sail. That will be enough. It's all I need, and a bit more.