resting

 Feeling a little under the weather as the saying goes. A bit of a cold. I'm certainly not worried about anything, it happens. It's the rhinovirus, no need to panic. Aches and pains, both come with life. In a few days I'll be back to my normal self, old; with aches and pains. I really can't complain as I do enjoy good health most of the time. I know there are others that aren't so fortunate. I've got aspirin and Alka-Seltzer, a can of chicken noodle soup and some ginger ale. What more could I possibly need? 

 I feel bad for a lot of these younger people today. They are continually bombarded with advertisements for drugs and procedures. You can't go very long watching the television without hearing that you probably are suffering from something. Stuff you never heard of before but should be taken care of immediately! If you can't afford it, the drug companies may be able to help. Real nice of them, isn't it? All the symptoms will be listed, things to watch out for. Feeling depressed? You should seek treatment. Yes, there is definitely something that needs treatment. And there is help as long as the side effects don't kill you. Hey, it rarely happens but you could have serious side effects that lead to death! 

 Yes, I was raised a little bit differently. Mercurochrome and iodine took care of most scrapes and cuts, unless a bone was sticking out, that needed a doctor. Chicken soup, aspirin, saltine cracker and ginger ale. You got your temperature taken, that was the cure. Yup, you do have a fever. You need to starve that! If you have a cold, feed it. If you have both, just eat a little bit. If the cold is severe enough, Vicks VapoRub would be applied. That only works on kids though, that's what I was told. You only went to a doctor as a last resort. You didn't just go to the doctor for no reason. That's like taking your car to the garage and asking the mechanic if something needs to be fixed. And if you did go to the doctor you didn't presume to tell him or her what the trouble was, or what drug should be prescribed. If they knew what they were doing you didn't have to, that's their job. 

 Guess I'll just take it easy for a few days. Play with my pictures and computer stuff. It's getting cold outside anyway. Time to take a rest.  

Criminals and crazies

 Before I begin, I want to make it perfectly clear that everyone should be safe in their homes. That really should go without having to say a thing but in todays' world it is a necessity. The rich, the famous, politicians, and anyone else in or out of the spotlight should not have to be concerned about the crazies out there. Thing is, there are crazies out there, always have been and always will be. Criminals and crazy people. 

 I listened to the news reports about the attack on Paul Pelosi. An intruder entered his home at 2 in the morning looking for Nancy. He managed to call 911 and leave a cryptic message that sent the police to check on him. They arrived in time to apprehend this nut case and possibly save the life of Paul Pelosi. It's a terrible thing, everyone agrees on that. The chief of Police was on television placing the blame on right wing politics! No doubt if you looked at the perpetrator's social media pages, he was a right wind nut job. Obviously, he has mental issues. That doesn't excuse anything he did, not in the least. 

 I'm no conspiracy theorist, I don't believe any of this has anything to do with the mid-term elections. I believe for whatever demented reason this guy had he went there to attack Nancy Pelosi. No one sent him, he is simply a criminal! What concerns me, other than the obvious, is this incident will be used as a political tool and I have no doubt that it will. It will used as more "proof" of how dangerous a man Trump is, and his supporters. If you don't believe every social media post about Trump will now be under scrutiny you had better open your eyes. If you don't believe there are programs and algorithms in place that flag that stuff, you're truly blind! 

 The motive for this crime is known only to the one that committed the crime. Investigators, analysts, experts from every field, including soothsayers, can guess at that, but they don't know. That the motive will be determined to be right wing politics is a forgone conclusion, possibly a correct one, but that doesn't explain why. Why do crazy people do what they do? What really drives a person to such extremes? We really don't know the answer to any of that. But you will hear about the "flags" being there. That law enforcement should have known and caught this criminal before he struck. It could have been avoided if social media were closely monitored by government officials. If only there were tighter controls on speech! Government intervention is required! Dissent will not be tolerated! Threats and innuendo are sufficient cause for arrest! Well at least a forced mental health evaluation by a government approved "expert." It's completely justified and reasonable, right? That's what you are going to hear, mark my words. At least in the short term you will, while it is politically expedient to do so. 

 This incident will grab the spotlight, draw national attention and be discussed by every talking head on television. Something needs to be done! Thing is the same outrage should be felt when this stuff happens to you and me, but it isn't. Criminals are using our major cities as shooting galleries but all you hear about is their rights. It's the guns' fault, not the people. Robberies aren't because of criminals, robberies are because people are hungry, underprivileged and marginalized. They should be provided "resources" to improve their condition. Mass shootings are caused by assault rifles, not crazy people! If we didn't allow the crazy people to buy guns, no one would get shot. Background checks and mental health evaluations have already been proposed. Well because crazy people always get their assault weapons through legal channels. They'd be crazy to break the law. 

 In this case the guy used a hammer. I suspect the hammer was already in the home, I haven't heard where that came from. The bottom line is simple enough to understand. The guy is a nut! He was caught red handed, beyond a shadow of a doubt he did the crime. Now all that is left is for him to do the time. For me, that time is the rest of his life! He can get "cured" in jail but that won't negate the crime. All that should do is make him aware of exactly what he did and understand the seriousness of his crime. It's not an excuse, perhaps it is the cause. No matter. What happened is a break in followed by an assault. That's all that happened. It shouldn't have happened to Paul Pelosi and it shouldn't happen to anyone! It does and it will. 

 I am not trying to marginalize what happened to Paul Pelosi in any way. I don't know much about him and I'm certain it was his wife that was the target. I don't like Nancy Pelosi or her politics but do not wish any harm to her either. I'm just saying that things like this happen every single day to everyday people. It may or may not be mentioned in the evening news. If it was you or I, probably no mention. The news now reports on gun violence in the city of Baltimore with the stats on how many were killed, and how many wounded. If the person or persons were only wounded, they present that differently. It's almost like, ah a mere flesh wound, no problem. I have no doubt that a mountain will be made out of this incident, proof positive that only the Democrats should stay in power, the Republicans will get us all killed. Shame that wasn't the response when Seattle was being occupied, when looters and rioters were given " room" to express themselves. None of that was caused by the Democrats on the left. Nope, that was fine, barely worth a mention.  

smart money

 Elon has purchased Twitter. I don't care. Kanye has changed his name to Ye. I don't care. Neither of those things will make the slightest bit of change in my life. I don't tweet. As far as Kanye, Ye or whatever he wants to call himself he also has zero relevance in my life. Of the two Elon Musk is most likely to have some impact on my life although not directly. He is sending people to space, building electric vehicles and out of that science will change. Why he decided to buy twitter I have no idea, I'm thinking just because he can. It'll make money for him in some fashion that much I'm certain of. Rumor has it, it will become a paid platform. I don't doubt that, and I have no doubt millions would subscribe. All social media is a form of vice and people will pay for that! That is a simple universal truth. They might go hungry, be homeless, or be sick but they will pay for their vices whether it is drugs, alcohol, or social media! 

 Now Elon purportedly purchased twitter in the name of free speech. That's one line I've heard. It was reported that Kanyes' account had been unlocked before the purchase, Elon didn't do that. Will he allow Trump back on twitter? Many seem to think so and have expressed great concern about that. I don't see the issue. Trump is entitled to tweet as much as anyone else in my opinion. But, as I've said many times in the past, whoever owns the platform can also block whoever they want. As long as it is free to use, I think that is justified. If I have to pay to use the service that is a bird of a different feather. Profit is always the motive. That's true even if that profit solely benefits the one person, the owner of the product, whatever that product happens to be. Sometimes the profit doesn't have to be money, favor can be equally as valuable. 

 Musk got his start selling some video game platform for 500 dollars. That's what googles says. Some company called Zip2. Whatever, he is now the wealthiest man on the planet. He's got everyone's attention that much is certain. Other than his massive wealth what makes him so special? He's no genius like Einstein, no inventor like Tesla, he has Asperger's as well. Yet, despite all of that, the richest man on the planet. 

 Now Kanye made his fortune selling his fashions. Basically, his stuff sells because of his name. He's a billionaire! His wealth comes from those wanting to be "cool" and wearing the "in" thing in fashion. Yeezy, I believe is what it is called. The more money he made; the more people wanted his fashions. He rode the wave. Nothing wrong with that. It's something I really don't get though. I think I learned a valuable lesson when I bought my first pair of Pro Keds sneakers, with the split leather tops. Cost me 37.50! Yeah, they were cool alright, and lasted a long time, long enough that they went out of style. Ever since I have avoided buying those expensive "in" things and just buy the knockoffs. 

 Well, I have learned over the years that wealth equals influence. If you have enough money people will listen to you. They will take your advice, hang on every word, somehow believing you have some special powers. Wealth and intelligence aren't necessarily related. You don't need one to have the other. That's my thinking anyway. And for that reason, I really don't care about Elon Musk or Ye. I'm not impressed with either of them. Couple of very rich people, no doubt, but other than that I just don't know. They are in a totally different world. 

 There are those that are smart, and there is smart money. One doesn't always follow the other. The smart money invests in vice, always profitable. Fads and fashion come and go. Technology is ever changing. Vice however remains constant. People will always buy that, no matter the price. 

reservations

 It was 136 years ago today that the statue of Liberty was dedicated. The famous sonnet mounted to its' base is often quoted. You know what it says, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to be free" is the most famous and well-known line. The title of that sonnet? The new colossus. Emma Lazarus wrote that piece for an auction to raise funds to construct the pedestal. The new colossus is a reference to the colossus of Rhodes. She is comparing the intent of each when they were constructed. That is the beginning of the sonnet, the words we all know appear much later in the composition. It should be remembered that this was written for a competition, not as an official statement on behalf of the United States of America. It wasn't a carte blanche invitation! The full text follows:

   Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

What needs to be understood is there are requirements to be met before entering that door. Immigration laws had existed since 1790. "Mother of exiles" is her name. That stems from those that traveled to this land to escape religious persecution. Written in 1883 you have to remember that history was viewed differently then. In 1883 Emma and others were not "woke" and really did believe Columbus discovered America, Manifest destiny was a very popular ideology, the civil war had only ended eighteen years prior, and America was the "melting" pot. The key there was the belief that others, the wretched refuse of those teeming shores, were to assimilate to our nation, they were to become Americans! There were requirements to be met! Yes, the lamp is lighted to show you the door, but that door isn't wide open to just anyone!  

 That poem is a wonderful sentiment, eloquently expressed. Well, that's what poets and writers do after all. It's an ideal. Lady Liberty as she has come to be known become a national symbol. It was a long process getting the statue built and then funding the pedestal upon which she stands. Happy Birthday "Mother of Exiles" may she stand forever. It was truly a different time, a different sentiment, and a complete set of different sensibilities in 1883. Who was President? Chester A Arthur (R) In 1883 Life magazine is established, Buffalo Bill opens his wild west show, the navy builds its' first steel hulled ships, the Metropolitan Opera house opens, the United States unofficially establishes time zones and the Northern Pacific Railroad is completed with ex-president Grant driving the final spike. Lots happening. America is on the rise! Yes, the lamp is lighted there is no end in sight. Things have changed since then. The struggle today is to keep that lamp lighted! I'll keep the light on for you, but reservations are necessary! 

Trick or Treat

 When I was a kid Halloween was for kids. Witches' ghosts and goblins. Trick or Treat. Carving a pumpkin for a Jack O Lantern, very crudely done for the most part, the traditional kind. Our costumes were usually homemade, Hobo's, pirates, ghosts and Princesses abounded. The costumes purchased at the 5&10 were those jump suit kind with a plastic mask. Skeletons, Casper, Superman or whatever cartoon character was enjoying popularity that year. I don't recall many homes having extensive decorations, just a few jack o lanterns or some cobwebs, a spider or two. Nothing like what we see today.

 Today Halloween has gone professional. It seems that way to me anyway. The trick or treating part has certainly changed. Now, it is heavily monitored with set times. It wasn't that way when I was a kid. We would go as soon as it got dark and trick or treat until we were either too tired to continue or ran out of houses. It's a sad testament to the times we live in. You do have to be alert, aware of everything, take precautions and inspect the candy! It seems like Halloween has become more about decorating the homes than actually trick or treating. That and the proliferation of "haunted houses" and corn mazes. We didn't have those when I was young. Well, there were reportedly haunted houses, but people lived in them, and you couldn't take a tour. 

 Halloween did include some mischief for the older kids. When you were too old to trick or treat but still young enough to care. Right about now the Rexall drug store would be having their one cent sale. Soap and shaving cream were the featured items. Yes, we soaped the windows in the shops in town, sprayed shaving cream on everything and each other. There were rumors of rotten eggs, but I was never subjected to that. No property was damaged, no one was hurt. That did change over the years, for reasons I can't explain. That's why restrictions and regulations had to be imposed. I heard of a few incidents when I was older and no longer participating in such childish things. Seems like fourteen or so was the unofficial cut-off for all of that. I wouldn't want to be seen engaging in any childish behaviors when I was sixteen! OMG, that's kid stuff. 

 I question whether Halloween is for the kids anymore. I don't see many little ones trick or treating. Many are "organized" these days, trick or treating by tailgating in the parking lot. Brightly lit, with security on hand, everyone closely watched. It seems like it has turned more into a competition for decorations and attractions. The whole Fall theme rolled into one holiday. 

  But I realize that our memories are always different than the reality. The Halloweens I remember are the best, so are yours. It was a different time and place. Sensibilities were different. The world was a safer place back then, especially in the small town I grew up in. Everyone really did know everyone else, at least who their parents were and whose children belonged to who. Yes, it was the town raising the kids. Any adult could, and would discipline you, on the spot. It may only be some harsh words, depending upon their relationship with your parents, or it could be worse! That your misdeed would eventually be reported to your parents was inevitable. Oh, they would find out sooner or later. It did give you pause to consider your actions.

  There will come the day when trick or treating is folklore. Grandparents will tell their grandchildren how they used to go door to door demanding candy. How we went threatening to "trick" you if treats were not forthcoming. Disguised as all sorts of creatures we did threaten and intimidate others! Yes, this was sanctioned by the town and endorsed by law enforcement. And worse still parents encouraged this! There were no vegan options, no keto, no nutritionists advising us on our choices. In fact, the hospitals would x-ray that candy free of charge, an endorsement that it was "safe" to eat. It was a wild time. Children roamed free, demanding candy from strangers while in disguise. Trick or Treat? Ah, the good old days. A holiday set aside to extort others for candy. That's what trick or treating is all about, extortion.     Extortion generally involves a threat being made to the victim’s person or property, or to their family or friends. Trick or Treat.  

    

what do you think?

  I've had this thought and am looking for an opinion. I have good memories of my Great Grandfathers home. I have a few pictures and some history associated with that house as well. It was originally built by my 2nd great grandfather, James Buckley Terry in 1895. It was sold out of the family sometime in the late 1960's. I have no idea who owns or lives in that house today. But here's my thought. I would send copies of what pictures I have of the house from back in the day along with a picture of the grandparents and my dad who was raised in that home as well. My idea is a sort of history. My thought is to send those folks home, so to speak.

 I'm wondering if that were you how would you receive that? I mean would you want the pictures, the history on the house and be excited or would you go, eh. Would you put their pictures on the wall? I know that great grandmother Lucy passed away in the parlor of that home after an extended illness. Would that information creep you out? I could tell some stories I know about the house as well. I'm just wondering how it would all be received. Personally, I would find it interesting. I'm not seeking anything in return. I just have the feeling that I should share that information, that history, as I'm one of the few that knows it firsthand. Yes, you can get facts from official records, deeds and such but you would learn little of the people that lived there. 

 So, what are your opinions or ideas? Cool or not? I would need to get the mailing address, but I think I can do that. I'll just ask those folks that contact you about your cars extended warranty! I'm certain they have all the information I need. The home I grew up has been torn down, gone, replaced, it's history. But Great Grandfathers house still stands proudly on the corner. My grandmother Clara was married in that house. My father left for WW2 from that house and returned there after the war. The man who built that house was a civil war veteran. Lots of history passed through those doors. Mostly through the kitchen door. I don't recall the front door ever being opened.     

I'm home

 I was remembering when I was in the service. More specifically the first four years. I was eighteen when I enlisted and twenty-two when that first enlistment ended. I hadn't married and was as free as a bird. I remember feeling pretty grown up, yes sir, I was a man of the world now, free to do as I pleased. Sure, the Navy kept me busy most of the time, but I did have weekends and "vacation" days. Taking leave as it is called in the service. Taking leave was the best part of the service! You still got your pay and didn't have to do a thing. It's great. Well, it was until you got back home. Almost everyone I knew in the service was always talking about going home, being home and missing home. 

The reality was quite different than what I expected. When I got home, everyone was either working, off to college somewhere or in the service themselves! In short, I had the time, all day, every day, and all night too, but no one to play with. It got really boring really quick. Being grown up wasn't anything like I imagined it to be. My parents had moved out of the house I grew up in and I didn't have a bedroom anymore. I was homeless! Well, I hope that doesn't offend any homeless people that may be reading this blog, you know, by comparing myself to them. The days were long just wandering around town. The nights were even longer, not much fun going out by yourself! And going out on the town in your sailor suit isn't anything like in the movies. No, it isn't like that at all. In fact, I would advise against that.

 Being in the service when you are married is another experience altogether. You aren't free as a bird anymore, now you have responsibilities. It does change your mindset. You begin to "buckle" down as the saying goes and act in a more mature fashion. The "boots" those that are single and on their first enlistment look at you differently. Now you are giving the orders, even when they are just little ones. There is a saying in the Navy, and I suspect it applies to all branches equally, you know you are doing your job when you find your name on the bathroom wall! It being the service it will be your last name followed by some descriptive phrase concerning your person or speculation about what you might be doing. Reichart is a (fill in the blank) or Reichart creates a vacuum. Yeah, I've seen all of those doodles many times and just smile, confident that I'm doing my duty.

 Getting leave takes on new meaning too. Now when I got home, I had a home, my home. It didn't matter if it was a rental, base housing or a regular house, it is home. No more being bored when at home, now the time goes all too quickly. Seems like you just got there when it was time to say goodbye. Yes, sometimes I would be gone for six months at a time. That was the job after all, what I agreed to, so that's what I did. So did thousands of others. The worst part was moving all the time. I've lived in Virginia, Connecticut, North Carolina, Louisiana and Maryland. Yes, the Navy packed us up and moved us, that part wasn't bad, but you sure didn't put any roots down. As a result, after twenty years of moving you don't feel like you belong anywhere in particular. 

 Well, at least I didn't, it may be different for those that return to the old hometown and settle back down there. That wasn't an option for me. I retired back in '93. It will be exactly twenty-nine years on November the first. I'm still in the same town and still don't feel like I belong here. There are times I feel like I'm just waiting to move. In fact, I think about moving often. Right after I win the lottery. Chances are I'm not winning the lottery or moving. I have a feeling I would feel the same way after I did move though. 

 It's been said that home is where the heart is. I think that is the truth. I discovered after leaving my "home" what I believed to be home anyway, that home wasn't where I had left it. The reality was, I had taken it with me. It wasn't a geographic place after all. It is a state of mind, memories and sentiment, the place where those emotions live. It doesn't matter where I live, they go with me. I have been adding rooms to that home ever since I first boarded the train for Navy boot camp. I'm adding them still. Home is where the heart is, and where the heart is shared. I'm very fortunate to have a wife, children and grandchildren to share my heart (my home) with. I'm home.  

Strategic

 In the continuing saga of Marilyn Mosby, the city states attorney for the city of Baltimore going on trial for perjury, among a few other charges, her defense team has now requested a change of venue. Initially she requested a speedy trial, stating she was ready to defend herself! Then the delays came, requested by her team. Her attorneys were issued a warning from a federal judge and came close to being sanctioned. They were essentially attempting to conduct a trial in the public forum, on the courthouse steps. It was an attempt to garner support for Marilyn Mosby. Having lost her bid for reelection her defense team pivoted talking about how she lost her job, and the electorate no longer supports her. They blame the news outlets in Baltimore! And now, they want a change of venue.

 I was listening to all of this and heard this explanation. There are only two Federal courts in Maryland. One in the city of Baltimore and the other is in Prince George's county. Mosby is being charged with federal offenses. So, she now wants the trial moved to Prince George's county. It's the reason that raised my eyebrows. It was explained that Prince George's county is predominately "people of color." Marilyn Mosby, also a woman of color, would benefit from that. The jury pool would be predominately "people of color." So, what you are saying is, the jury pool would be prejudiced in favor of Mosby? Could it be that the defense team, also comprised of "people of color" are counting on that? Are they saying that justice really isn't blind? 

 The details of exactly why this change of venue is being requested has not been released to the public. The judge has that application. I would be interested to read that. Usually, a change of venue is requested because you feel you can't get a fair trial in the area. I get that and perhaps she has a point. After all she is currently the city states attorney, although her term ends before the trial takes place, a clear indication she isn't very popular in Balitmore. She certainly can't just say I want the jurors to be "people of color" only. It's strange that she is requesting this at all according to the legal beagles on television. The judge that has been handling the case has been quite favorable to Mosby and her defense team. Well, whatever is finally decided is alright with me, I'm not terribly concerned. She's guilty as charged. The only decision to be made is the punishment. I don't expect it will be much more than a slap on the wrist. She has already set herself up as the victim! Yes, she claims all of this is just race based. I'm not surprised by that. 

 I only wrote all of this because of the open admission of prejudice. That's what I heard and I'm astonished. Now if a white person, assuming white people don't have a color, where to say anything like that, there would certainly be an uproar! If I were to say, I don't want any black people on the jury, what would be the response? A few years back a white news reporter asked if maybe there shouldn't be a change in candidates and was fired from her position! Why? Because for the third time in a row a black mayor was forced from office in the city of Baltimore for corruption or misdeeds. Now this reporter didn't say, you should try a white person, no she didn't say that, only that perhaps you should try something else. It was a mere implication that cost her job. But today a defense team can ask for a change of venue to get a jury pool more favorable based on their color? No outrage about that. Now, it's being called strategy. Nothing prejudicial about that, just strategy. 

Get real

 There are jokes about it. There is an entire commercial campaign centered on that joke. Progressive insurance declares there is help, we don't have to become our parents. It's funny because we know the truth of it, we will become our parents. I hear my father's voice and my mother's admonishments daily. I hear myself repeating those to my grandchildren, I read them in my social media postings, and indeed, in these blogs. It's not really a bad thing, although that is the implication, but rather an acceptance. We are mature adults, right? Well, some of us are anyway and that's the joke. It's hard being an adult, being responsible, and making those tough choices. You say no! With that comes an expectation. You expect others to act in a like fashion and when they don't you get upset and annoyed. Just like your parents did.

 Every generation says they will not do what their parents did. Every generation feels enlightened. Every generation begins by rebelling against the one before. Eventually they begin to accept the realities of life. You really can't just do whatever you want when you are grown up. That comes as a shock to many. Yes, I can stay up late at night but then I'm tired the next day at work. It's best to go to bed and get that good night's sleep. It really is better to not spin your tires and wear them out quickly, costs a lot to replace them. And eating all snack foods and drinking beer isn't that healthy a choice after all. Then there are bills. Yes, reality has a way of turning us into our parents. 

 The simple truth is you cannot escape reality. With enough money you may be able to disguise it though, I'll say that much. Fame, popularity and money can fool you, at least I think it can, I've never had any of those personally. I've just watched what some of those folks with all of that do and can draw no other conclusion. It's like being told if you can't afford more for gas, buy an electric vehicle! The reality is, if you can't afford gas, you can't afford a new car! Not long-ago Martha's Vineyard was served a dose of reality. That was a shock to those folks. They reacted by saying, no. Reminded me of when Mom told us kids, we couldn't bring home every stray animal we ran across. 

 Reacting to reality is what we are really talking about when we say we are becoming our parents. We should learn from their mistakes, they made mistakes and so did their parents, but we should learn the lessons too. They weren't just being mean when they said no. The majority of the time they said no for a very good reason, reality. Some of your "friends" and "classmates" really were trouble and a bad influence on you. You did need to go to bed and get rest. You did need to study. And sometimes, sometimes the things you wanted to do were simply stupid! 

 It's a lot easier to be popular than to be right. It sure seems like an awful lot of folks are flying their flags of virtue these days. It is a lot easier to tell others what is right than to actually practice it. Popularity is profitable, no denying that. Thing is, sooner or later reality will rear its' head. That's when the proverbial wheels fall off. You're stuck! No avoiding that situation. You can only pray that it isn't too late. 

 Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. (Soren Kierkegaard) That was written in the mid 1800's. Today that thought is expressed a bit differently, we say, Get Real. Yeah, a lot of these "woke" people like to use that phrase. I suspect none of them have ever read what Mr. Kierkegaard had to say about that. I'd suggest that they do and then they could, get real, for real. 

dismissed

 I wonder why when I post my opinion on something, anything, so many take that as some sort of Evangelistic sermon, trying to convert them. I'm not trying to convert anyone to anything. I am simply telling others how I feel about whatever. If I feel others are wrong about something I will post an opinion saying just that. It's just my opinion. Often, I will attempt to explain my reasoning behind that opinion. My life experiences are different from every other person on the planet. That's true for each and every one of us. There are times when feelings require no explanation at all, it's what we call instinct or a gut feeling. You can't live your life on feelings though, the facts will dictate the results. No matter how much you try to explain otherwise, facts will remain. 

 I think that is what is going on with all these people being offended all the time. To be offended is to be resentful or annoyed, typically as the result of a perceived insult. That's what the internet definition is, anyway, I googled that. So why are so many resentful and annoyed? It's because of facts. People sometimes just don't want to hear the facts. Screaming into the wind is what my grandmother would call it. It doesn't change a thing but does make you feel better. Many are resentful of what others have. It doesn't have to be money, property or position. Many are resentful that others have peace of mind. They resent that others can simply accept the facts without the need to blame someone else. I'm not rich and it is no ones' fault. I accept that wholeheartedly. I also don't feel like anyone else should have to give me a thing, to share their wealth. It's there's. A simple fact.

 Here's the thing. In order to be insulted by someone else, you first have to respect that person. Now the majority of us were taught to respect other people and their opinions. Well, at least that is what the lesson plan used to be. In today's world I'm not so sure about that. It's the reason so many are offended and insulted these days, they don't have respect. More properly though, it is respect for the majority opinion. 

 Think about that. Look at the social issues we are facing today. They are the major reasons for unrest in any society. Whereas everyone in America loves to wave the flag and declare freedom, proclaim their rights, and shout to the hilltops about living in a Democracy, they don't want to conform to the majority opinion. Politicians are keenly aware of that and use it to their advantage. Those we elect, those we entrust to making law, are selling out that trust every single day. Putting the spin on everything to justify the passage of legislation that runs contrary to the majority opinion. 

 Consider something as simple and basic as marriage. One man, one woman. That's marriage, we all know that, but many refuse to accept that fact. Any other unions are not marriages, they are something else. Civil unions are a good term to describe that. Abortion as health care. Everyone knows that taking a life is wrong. We have laws against that, a lot of laws against that, we even have laws about thinking about killing someone! Premeditated murder is the most heinous act of all! Oh, we say it's understandable to kill in anger, in the heat of passion, some leniency should be shown for that, it's okay to kill someone if they are trying to kill you, that's reasonable enough, and it is sometimes, although rare, necessary to terminate a pregnancy to save a life. But somehow it is now being said that premeditated murder of a baby is health care? 

 Is that the majority opinion? I don't believe it is. That is simply denying a fact. That is exactly what an abortion is, premeditated murder. If that procedure isn't performed the end result is a baby will be born. Same as if I don't shoot you in the head, you will still be alive! Fact is no gun has ever assaulted a single person; no gun has killed anyone. It has always been another person that used a gun to kill others. A simple fact. Less than 1% of all abortion performed are done so to save the mother's life. A simple statistical fact. Never has that been denied as a necessary medical procedure to save either the life of the mother or the child. 

 I'm not easily offended. It has to do with respect. You are entitled to your opinion, I respect that. I'm entitled to disagree with you. If I'm still talking to you, it's because I care. When I no longer care, no longer respect your opinions, I just quit talking to you. I'm not offended, I'm just done. It doesn't mean a thing, except to me. Whatever someone else feels are just that, their feelings, not mine. As I explained yesterday, Tom Brady doesn't offend me, why should he? Fact is he is a professional athlete, a millionaire, and sees the world through a different lens. I don't feel a bit offended, resentful or annoyed. 

 I'm trying to understand why others appear to be. Are they that insecure in their person? I was in the service and it's nothing like that, I'm offended! No, in my opinion you're insecure and seeking reassurance. It's a juvenile response in my opinion. My service is better than your service even though you weren't in the service. Same thing as my daddy can beat up your daddy, or my car is faster than your car. Quit being offended at every little thing and accept the fact. You are not Tom Brady and he isn't you. Don't be offended by that. 

 Fact is I don't want everyone to convert to my way of thinking. It would certainly be a boring life with no one to argue with, no different point of views. It doesn't do any good to know stuff without telling others what you know. No fun preaching to the choir, as the saying goes. Variety is indeed the spice of life; some spices disagree with me though. Doesn't mean I don't use them though, I'm just judicious in their use. True, there are some I avoid altogether. Don't be offended. I'd say I don't get offended easily, but I will dismiss. 

     dis·miss

[disˈmis]

VERB

1. 
   
2. order or allow to leave; send away:

   "she dismissed the taxi at the corner of the road"

   synonyms:

   send away · let go · release · free · disband · disperse · dissolve · discharge · demobilize

   • discharge from employment or office:
     "CBS Records dismissed another 120 people"
     synonyms:

     give someone their notice · throw out · get rid of · discharge · lay off · oust · expel · make redundant · cashier
   • treat as unworthy of serious consideration:
     "it would be easy to dismiss him as all brawn and no brain"
     synonyms:

     banish · put away · set aside · lay aside · abandon · have done with · drop · disregard · brush off · shrug off · forget · think no more of · 

     [more]
   • deliberately cease to think about:
     "he suspected a double meaning in her words, but dismissed the thought"
     synonyms:

     banish · put away · set aside · lay aside · abandon · have done with · drop · disregard · brush off · shrug off · forget · think no more of · 

     [more]
   • (of a group assembled under someone's authority) disperse:
     "he told his company to dismiss"
   • law
     refuse further hearing to (a case):
     "the judge dismissed the case for lack of evidence"

   Tom Brady, you are dismissed 
3.  

Carry On

 A big to do about nothing. That's what I have been thinking after reading eighteen posts about what Tom Brady said and how many are so deeply offended. Yes, it was a terrible analogy, very simplistic and unthinking, but hardly a reason to be offended. As a retired member of the US Navy and having been deployed many times all I could do was laugh at that statement. Yeah, it's just like that Tom. But, I'm not offended by a professional athlete and his analogy. I get what he was trying to say. You are away from home a great deal of the time, you have to go to practices (drills) all the time and eat strange food. Yeah, it's just like being deployed. I didn't feel like he was trivializing or disparaging my time in the service. I didn't feel like he was uncaring, unfeeling and ungrateful. No, none of that, it was just a very poor analogy. 

 I did leave a comment on one of those posts saying something similar, just briefer. I was immediately attacked. I was surprised to see it was another veteran that made the claim I didn't count because I was in the Navy and he had been in the Army, so it isn't the same thing. The implication was clear, in the Navy we have it easy, but in the Army they are the real combat veterans! I was amazed at such a juvenile response. Sounded like kids on the playground, my dad can beat up your dad. I left all of that behind a long time ago. Sure, I have teased my fellow veterans about their branch of service, that's what comrades do. Did you know you have to be six foot tall to be in the coast guard? That's so you can walk ashore if your boat sinks. And the Marines are bullet stoppers and the army guys dog faces. Things is I respect each one of them and their service equally. I wasn't offended by his comment though, just amazed at the hypocrisy on display. 

 I'm no big fan of Tom Brady. He's one the best quarterbacks to ever play the game you can't take that away from him. What he is like as a person I have no idea, we don't hang out in the same circles. He does retire, a lot, but keeps reenlisting for one more season. His wife is leaving him, saw that on the news, probably because he keeps promising to retire and then changing his mind. I'm guessing he loves his fame more than his wife. Knew a Marine like that. I asked him if he was married and his response, and he was deadly serious, was if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, I would have been issued one! He was a Sargent Major at Annapolis with 25 years of service. Hoo Ray, Semper Fi. 

 Things that do annoy me? Parade ground patriots top the list. Those that simply want to be in the parade, not ever having done a thing. Those that engage in "stolen valor" are also despicable creatures. If you haven't served, walked the walk, you have absolutely no right to say a thing. Navy guys like to tell their sea stories and I'm certain all the other branches do the same. It entertains those that don't know and amuses those that do. I was never a Navy Seal, but a detachment was on a ship I was on. They were dedicated to exercising no doubt about that. They were rough and ready macho type guys no doubt. Yes, they believed! Knew some Marines the same way, the brainwashing stayed in full force long past boot camp. If you have ever served yourself, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm thinking you wouldn't be offended by Tom Brady. All I have to say to Tom Brady would be, Carry On! LOL.             

still working

 I've always liked mechanical things. The reason is simple, you can see how they work. Electronic stuff is like magic, sleight of hand, just how did that work? Mechanical things are repairable by almost anyone with good observational skills. You can study it out, see why it does what it does and make repairs or adjustments. Nothing mysterious about that stuff. A knowledge of physics is helpful, but you don't need a degree in it either. Advanced mathematics are also useful, but I have to admit I have never had to use algebra to figure out something either. But in today's world it is getting quite difficult, unless you understand the occult! It's black magic I tell you.

 Once again, I find myself faced with this. I purchased a magic device that is supposed to convert my old vhs tapes to digital. I had a device that did just that about a year or so ago. It was working fine but I got distracted from the project and set all that aside. I recently came into possession of a number a vhs tapes that I thought to digitize. Shouldn't be an issue, it was working before. No, it isn't working this time. After several hours of frustration and reading I determined the "software" was out of date and was no longer "compatible" with my computer. I had gotten a new one since I had last used the product. Well apparently, 2020 can't get along with 2022, they are incompatible! I bit the bullet and ordered another device. I tried installing that software and it won't work! I have no explanation for that. I carefully read all the instructions and system requirements ensuring they were correct. They are and it won't! Of course, you can contact support, which I did and was reassured I would get an answer to my question in 24 to 48 hours, maybe, depending upon the queue. I know what the queue is, it's what strikes my, well never mind, I can do nothing but wait. There is no looking at. That's why I like the mechanical things, at least I can look at it!

 It's no wonder we live in a throwaway society. Even when the product still works there is little use in saving it. Whatever magic in the old device that converted analog to digital didn't change, but other stuff did, they are not compatible. I discarded an old desktop Pc recently. It had no value whatsoever. OMG it still had Windows 7 as an operating system! Yes, I realize I could have updated it, but it is cheaper to replace it. Yup, cheaper to toss that antique out. It's not even cool to look at. I mean I have lots of old mechanical devices, like a mantle clock, that are outdated but still fun to look at. Old wind-up toys are still entertaining, fifty years later. A seesaw is fun and a slide, old mechanical things, no batteries, no magic required.

 Another thing I find annoying is when you hire someone to "fix" your electronics. I've had a pro do my computer. He plugs in his laptop and connects it to mine. Pushing some keys, he just sits there and says, this will take some time. He's not doing a thing! For over twenty minutes he did absolutely nothing. Then all at once he proclaims, we just need to reboot the system and that should take care of it. He turns the computer off and then back on. That'll be one hundred and fifty dollars please. What? Seems like he should have had to do something more, like work for the money. No, the computer did all the work all he did was push a few keys. Ah but he knew the magic words and had the magic spell on his laptop. Yeah, it's annoying. I couldn't see a thing he did. 

 The abacus method of calculations, first seen in ancient Egyptian civilization, is the fastest way humanly possible to calculate any mathematical problem. Note it is a mechanical device. Practitioners of this method often beat computers in speed. They never need an update to their systems either. If they get a virus, it's the person, not the abacus! You can watch how they work and if you pay close attention, you can learn how it works. It's not magic, it's simple math. If my abacus breaks, I can fix it. 

 I like mechanical things. I really liked those games, Crazy Clock and Mouse Trap! Mechanical devices that entertained. I love my father's hand tools; they still work just fine. My sister has a typewriter that is at least sixty years old, still works just fine, just needs a new ribbon. Yeah, you can still buy typewriter ribbons, the old school type anyway. And a piece of string and two tins cans will still make a "telephone", that will still work. Archimedes famously said, "give me a fulcrum and a place to stand, and I shall move the earth" Mechanics.  

An older Ben

 I have a newspaper clipping that I rediscovered today. The clipping is an interview with my father. It appeared in a Long Island New York newspaper, Newsday. It was in the Sept 28,1975 edition. The reporter asked a variety of questions, questions that are still being asked today. It begins with an explanation. You see, this reporter identified Dad as a Bonacker. Bonacker, in case you are not familiar with that term describes a person born and raised in a specific place in the town of East Hampton, New York. You can simply Google the word Bonacker for a complete description. It's pretty amazing to me, as I too am a Bonacker, at least according to Google I would be although I don't think of myself in that way. The interview focused on the changes to the East End of Long Island due to the influx of tourists and the wealthy folks escaping New York City, wanting to live in the "country." That's still being talked about today but now it is being called The Hamptons. I can hear Dad rolling over in his grave at that! He often referred to those folks coming out to East Hampton during the season as termites. Like Termites they come out of the woodwork and begin destroying everything in sight. He isn't wrong. He wasn't wrong about a lot of the stuff he said in that interview. Well, as he might have said, you don't need to be a prophet to see what's coming, just follow the money.

 As I read that interview, I could hear my father's voice. In the article the reporter says he spoke a "colorful" dialect that is being lost to urbanization. Strange reading that as he just sounded like everyone else I knew except for those living "upstreet" as we used to say. I understand at some point someone was recording people speaking this "colorful" dialect, studying it and preserving it for posterity. It just sounds like home to me. Another line in there jumped off the page. She says that dad is fifty. Wait a minute, this was in 1975 and he was fifty? I had already served four years in the Navy. I thought he must have been older. No, that's correct he was fifty. He would be fifty-one a few days after the interview. He would only live another fifteen years. He passed away in Florida, where he had relocated, in February of 1990. As best as I recall he moved to Florida around 1980, I was back in the Navy by then having reenlisted. So that means he was just sixty-five. 

 Now I've often been compared to dad. There are those that say I resemble him, talk like him, and share some mannerisms. All of that may very well be true and I'm proud to claim it. I believe, like most kids, as the years pass by, I have begun to agree with him and learn. We used to butt heads, a lot! We would argue and discuss just about everything and anything. Today I am realizing just how right he usually was about things. I didn't want to hear it back then, but I guess I did. More importantly perhaps, I remembered hearing it! 

 Today I'm sixty-nine. That's four years older than dad. After reading that article again and thinking about it all I determined I'm just an older Ben. I guess I am like him in a number of ways, especially in the way we think. That's probably the reason so many of these "woke" people get triggered so often by what I say. If they had to listen to my father, they would explode! To say he was very matter of fact is a gross understatement. He sure didn't go along with feeling sorry for yourself, all this, touchy-feely stuff so common today. He had been drafted and fought in WW2. He never complained about that, just did his duty. He had a bad experience with a labor union and was totally opposed to them. He was fiercely independent, as the saying goes. He approached the world on his own terms. 

 I wish I was all of that but make no such claim. It's strange because when I was growing up, I was always called little Ben. For a while I tried to be Ben, especially when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. Then I just wanted to be Ben. Ben is a man's man. At some point I came to realize that I would never be that Ben. I just started being who I am. I even wrote an explanation for that: " My name is Ben that's who I am and all I'll ever be, I tried to be someone different, but it just wasn't me" And now, now I'm just an older Ben wondering how the original would handle this world. I'm thinking he left at the right time, it wouldn't be pretty! Dad at ninety-eight! Yeah, thinking that might be just a little too much for this world to handle. As Dad was fond of pointing out, " Well Bub, there are a lot of educated damn fools in the world" He isn't wrong you know. 

                                 Dad, 1975 from Newsday. 

The vote

 Got my sample ballot in the mail yesterday. It's always a good thing to read through that. Amazing how many names are on there that I've never heard of. It really does show the power of money. Those with little money (campaign funds) are whispering while those with more are screaming. It really doesn't seem fair but it's the way it works and the way it has always worked. I can't see that changing any time soon either. Man has always allowed those with the money to make the decisions. It isn't because they are any smarter than the rest of us, but they have money. Money is influence.

 Now I went on social media and found some information about those "dark" candidates. The platforms where you get to post for free are a benefit to those folks. Of course, it requires effort on the part of those seeking that information. I hadn't even heard those names mentioned before! Certainly, the local news hasn't devoted any time to mention those folks or if they did, I missed it. I admit to not being terribly familiar with the platforms of these other parties. The green party, the libertarians and the worker's party. I don't want to jump to conclusions about them based on their names but then again, it is their marketing scheme. And the platform of the Republicans and Democrats aren't what I would call defined either. 

 Reading through the sample ballot you come to the questions. In Maryland there are five on the ballot. The first one concerns renaming the appellate courts. It would also change the name of Judges to Justices. The explanation provided is rather vague, but I suppose if you were an attorney all of this may make a difference. I'm not sure how to vote on that. The second one concerns your place of abode. Basically, the change would mean you would have had to actually live in the district for a longer period of time before you are eligible to assume office in that district. Seems reasonable to me. Number three concerns jury trials. The amount in question has to exceed $25,000 before you can request a jury trial. (Currently it is $10,00). Seems reasonable, I'll give it a yes. Number four asks if the legislature should legalize adult usage of marijuana. It also wants to change the name from Marijuana to Cannabis. I'm voting NO, I don't support ignoring federal law. And finally, a constitutional amendment for the circuit court of Howard county concerning Judges for the Orphans court. I don't know and don't have an opinion on that, it doesn't concern me. I expect there are some political advantages to be gained by someone and that's why it is being proposed.

 I did notice a bit of urging to vote early. That was predominately displayed by a half page flyer. Vote early, vote often! The best time is on Saturday and Sundays! You can change your address during early voting as well. An election judge will be glad to help and give you a ballot for your new address. Voting in Caroline County will begin on the 27th of October and run straight through until the 3rd of November. Then you can rest up for election day on the 8th, where you have to go to the polling place assigned to you on your sample ballot.

 There are 18 spots to be filled along with the five questions to be answered. Maryland has to choose a new governor as our current governor has reached his term limit. I'm not very happy with any of the choices offered. It's my feeling we will get the Democratic candidate, he is leading in the polls. The Republican offering is Dan Cox, and he is being touted as a Trump Republican! Trump has endorsed him. Maryland is a predominately Democratic state, especially the cities. Governor Hogan (R) is described as a moderate. He has done a wonderful job and will be missed. I didn't always agree with him, but I'll give him his due. Don't be surprised if you hear him mentioned as a presidential candidate. He isn't saying.

 The mid-terms are a turning point. I certainly hope and pray we turn in the right direction! That direction is back! Back to common sense and America first. We cannot afford to just keep spending money. The natural debt has exceeded 31 trillion dollars! This has to be corrected! We need to start a new campaign. " Just say No" No to "free" everything. No to buying foreign oil, and yes to producing our own. Close the border to all that do not have the proper paperwork! We can't afford to simply take in thousands of people a day! 

 What worries me are all those that are just enjoying the free ride! As long as they get something for free, they don't care what it is doing to the nation. As long as they can show everyone else how charitable they are, how concerned and caring, what good people they are, they just don't care! They won't care either until it begins to really affect then on a personal level. Then it will be too late. Those folks need to learn to say no. Remember when we used to talk about "tough love?" Yeah, let's go back to that. That's what is needed.   

It will

 A feeling of belonging. Would you say you feel that way? If so, what is it that you belong to? That's a difficult question to give an answer too. Is it belonging to a family, a community, a country or the entire world? Where do you belong? Some of us feel like wherever we are at the moment is where we belong, while others spend a lifetime looking. 

 When we are in school, we belong there, that's how the majority feel. Call it school spirit if you like, but it is a feeling of belonging. In that school there are groups and subgroups that belong. What group did you belong to? What clique? Today we are focused on including everyone into our little cliques, being inclusive. It's the in thing. I remember a time when we called those folks, tokens. You know the ones that were included to show others how inclusive we are. The reality was it was a "token" a free pass to be seen with the cool kids. Each group thought of themselves as the "real" cool kids, the others were phony. Those without a feeling of belonging would gravitate towards that, or be totally repulsed. There will always be the loners. Today especially we are being told to be wary of the loners, they could be trouble. I didn't go to college, but I expect it is much the same way.

 I did join the Navy and there was that sense of belonging, although it wasn't always shared. I didn't embrace the whole culture are readily as some others. Did I belong there? I don't know, it is where I went, what I did for twenty years. I have some good memories of those days, a few stories to tell, and enjoy the entitlements I earned as a result of that time. After my initial enlistment period, I reenlisted, I was then identified as a lifer. That's what you call those making a career out of the military. A career being twenty or more years. Hardly a lifetime, unless of course you are 18, or in your early twenties. Moved from place to place during that lifetime the final stop being at The Naval Academy, as a security guard, a policeman. A job as foreign to me as anything I could imagine. I did the job as best as I could, but definitely didn't feel like I belonged there.

 I settled in Greensboro, Maryland a town of about 2000 people. Small town America. I love the area but I'm not home. I don't have a sense of belonging here. It's an agricultural area, farmers whose families have been here for generations. I'm no farmer and I've only been here about thirty years. Yes, I'm the foreigner that lives down the street. Now, my son, he belongs here. He wasn't born here but came here while he was still in elementary school. Today he is serving a second term as Mayor. Yes, he belongs and has cemented that place in the town record books. I can say, he feels like he is home.

 I'm one of those looking. It isn't a bad thing, not a feeling of remorse or anything like that. It doesn't cause anxiety or depression; it is simply an awareness. At times I feel like I was born in the wrong time, that I should have existed earlier. I expect many of us feel that way though, especially looking at the way things are today. We call it being nostalgic, but it is more a seeking of comfort than anything else. Still, I understand this could be exactly where I belong. I do believe in destiny. I get to choose the path I take to reach that destiny, but I don't get to choose the destination. I will end up where I belong, all it takes is patience. I just can't help looking ahead though, I'm restless, which is strange for me. I've never thought of myself as anyone in a hurry, quite the opposite. My motto has always been, it'll be alright. It will.  

    

used to be

 Talking about how people used to be. That's what I find myself doing a little more each year. That's because each year a few more people I knew are now, used to be. Yes, every year a few more pass. It takes a while before you can speak of them in that way, but it comes. What I mean is talking about them with more of an unbiased opinion or viewpoint. It's an acceptance of just who they were regardless of their relationship to you. You no longer offer excuses or explanations for that person you simply tell how the person used to be. I lost Mom a year and a half ago and just recently reached that point. I can talk about how she used to be, no apologies, no explanations, no excuses. I don't feel like I'm being disloyal by doing that, it's an acceptance. 

 That particular thing became obvious to me as I spoke with my brother the other day. Out of the immediate family it is only he and I. He is the only one I have to share firsthand accounts of growing up in that family with. It's strange how often we see things differently. We don't always agree on how someone used to be. But, as the years roll by we are discovering more of the truth. We are becoming comfortable with telling each other how things used to be, for ourselves, without concern of confrontation. It's just the way it used to be. Sometimes sad, sometimes funny, sharing the little quirks in life. An honest open discussion of what used to be and what it has become. Really a sharing of what we saw, what we believed to be true, and our conclusions.

 How much did I know? That's always the question in my mind. I know how I remember someone, how they appeared to me, but did I know them? Take my parents for instance, they weren't big on sharing their stories. I never had a real "heart to heart" discussion with either one of them, that just wasn't done in their world. I lived in that world. What motivates a person, defines a person. That is something I believe wholeheartedly. All successful people are highly motivated people, that's what the phycologists will tell you. The issue is simply defining what success is. It all depends upon your acceptance of what success is. But I'm wandering off a bit. What I'm thinking is if you know their motivation, you will know the person. 

 How important is it to you to have others recognize whatever it is you are doing? Image was certainly important to my mother; I believe that motivated her. She was concerned with what others thought about her. That was the reason for her defiance, why she always denied that. My dad was the opposite, he just did what he wanted to do, and let the chips fall. It wasn't that he didn't care about others, he wasn't selfish in that way at all, just that he decided what he wanted to do and that was that. I call it being confident, while Mom was always a bit insecure. But I don't know what made them that way. I wonder if any of us can really know how something affects another person. A simple word or phrase may have a profound impact on someone, but a complete disaster leaves them unfazed. Some remain calm in the direst of situations while others panic at the least of calamities. 

 De mortuis nil nisi bonum is a Latin phrase that means speak no ill of the dead. It was an admonishment I heard from my Grandmother Bennett  and my mother. I was told, they aren't here to defend themselves! Well that certainly makes sense. My reply would sometimes be, if you're telling the truth, that's not bad. I would then be told stop being a wise guy! Never had the nerve to reply, thought that was a good thing. No, I was wise enough to know better than that. That might invoke another old adage, spare the rod and spoil the child! Grandmother Bennett was quite familiar with the Old Testament. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

 The things we say about how people used to be, are the things we wouldn't say to them. The reasons for doing so are as numerous as the people themselves. Most of the time it would simply be to avoid confrontation. No one wants to be told of their shortcomings. No one sees you the way you see yourself and that is a difficult thing to accept. Quickest way I know to start an argument is to tell someone how they think. Hurt feelings are what I'm talking about. Those are the things we usually don't say to one another. I'll say I love your music, your art, your pet, your choice of clothing or whatever to avoid hurting your feelings, depending. Depends upon how close to you I am, my motivations, and the importance of that information. We all say we will tell those closest to us anything, that we can tell our closest friends and confidants anything, but that isn't true. All of us keep secrets not just about ourselves, but about others as well. Do we tell those secrets after their passing? We do, but not if that information is derogatory. What used to be is neither good nor bad, it is what used to be. It's there to learn from, not to judge.