Perennial

 Scrolling down my Facebook page I was greeted by a picture of Lady Slippers. Memories of my mother flooded my mind. I can't say that they were her favorite flowers, only that as a child they were my favorite flower to give her. I loved the name, the way they looked, and how relatively rare they were to find. The lore of them was they were illegal to pick, a protected species. As a child I thought the flower police were watching everything I did as I stalked the woods searching for them. Oh, I knew a few spots that they were likely to be found. I was familiar with that. Those places I felt fairly safe, they were closer to home. But, discovering them in "foreign" locations was something different. Someone could be watching. And then I remembered my sister usually accompanied me on those "distant" forays into the wilderness as she was older. I thought of her and remembered.

 Now I've written about just about everything at one time or another. There really is little I haven't touched upon in some fashion. Sometimes briefly, at others, in depth and repeatedly. Some subjects I have avoided altogether but may visit them in the future. Lady Slippers, I have written about in the past, along the same lines in fact. I concentrated more upon my sister and I in that story. It was written and published in October of 2018. My sister would pass on December the fourth 2018. My mother would pass in May of 2021. And so today seeing that photo of two lady slippers in a field brought all that back into focus. I went and reread what I had written, and I have to say I would describe my reaction as "poignant."  It's a bit longer this posting than what I would normally post, it's difficult to hold an audience and I'm a fan of brevity, of getting to the point. What follows is that previous post.

  When I was a little boy, I would go with my big sister in search of a particular flower. The elusive and beautiful lady slipper, Cypripedium Acaule, is an orchid that grows in the northeastern United States. It can be found in shady areas. usually at the base of a tree. They are quite rare, although we didn't know that, but had been told it was illegal to pick as it was endangered. In our minds that meant it was dangerous and we reveled in the adventure. Sneaking through the woods, trying our best to walk like an Indian, we watched for the police because we just knew they were watching. What we were going to do was illegal after all. It was the nineteen fifties, and you didn't challenge the law. When you are eight or ten the danger is real. None of that mattered as Mom liked these flowers and it was Mom we were out to please. With the innocence of youth, the intent was to bring a smile to Moms' face, receive a thank you, perhaps a hug, and continue on with life. When you are young like that you often pause your life to please others. When you get older you sometimes hoard that time for yourself. Something I didn't understand then, and only recently discovered, was how precious sharing that time with my sister was. It is one of the strings that tie our hearts together. Secrets shared; we searched the wood for those flowers.

 It was such a small thing, something I hadn't really given thought too. It is that way with things from the heart, thought usually isn't involved, only feelings. It remains as a pleasant memory, occasionally making its' way to the surface. It was just something we did together in the spring, when we knew those flowers bloomed. Such a delicate flower, a pale shade of pink peeking from the shadows. The leaves of last fall would still be there, the leaves that acted as a blanket to keep the plants warm during the long winter months. Surely those plants were chilled, as frail as they appeared to be, but always persevering. And now, in reflection I see my sister in those buds. Rare and beautiful, elusive at times, delicate, but with an inner strength that endures.
 There came a time when we left that wood and went into the world. We traveled separate paths that rarely intersected. I was sailing in the Navy, and she had married the Air Force. At times we were half a world apart. Children and grandchildren filling our lives as the years rolled by. Yet in my memories we walk together through the wood, dodging the law, in our quest together. The quest was for just a moments love, a simple touching of the heart. What was shared was the love of brother and sister, a love untarnished by time and growing still. We went in search of a flower but what we found was far more precious, far rarer than any orchid. We discovered love is perennial, always enduring, even during the longest winter. The spring will arrive, and love will bloom once again.

 That rare and elusive flower, Cypripedium Acaule, the Lady Slipper is a symbol of that love. I've always thought that Angels were barefooted, but now I'm not so sure. I'm thinking my sister will be wearing slippers in heaven, when her times comes to travel there. I'll find her on a wooded path or perhaps she'll find me. Only time can write the story, only time will tell.

Time has indeed written the story. I couldn't know then my sister's time was to be so soon. That I had my mother for another six years following that loss was a blessing. Now she, and my sister are wearing their slippers in heaven. Perhaps my eldest brother who joined the angels in December of 2014, just four years before my sister has located the Lady Slippers that surely grow there, in the shady areas beneath a tree, and was waiting for them there. Perennials, all of them. 

                                                                    

                                        Photo credit to Francine D Muller 

                                            and thanks for the inspiration 

                                                                      

                                                               

                                                                

The men who marched (and ladies)

 I've written several poems and one speech concerning Memorial Day. I post them each year as my little tribute. I hope it reminds some and causes just a moment or two of pause. We all need that occasionally. Thinking back upon my time in the service and all those men I served with I do think about them and wonder about them. I am very fortunate that during my time I never lost anyone in battle. I myself never experienced being under direct attack. I had it easy, very easy. And now, in my advancing years, I am struck by just how young we all were. Didn't feel that way at the time, no, we were men! The reality is we were young men, very young men. The "old timers" were in their thirties. Yes, that's correct. Many retired at the age of 38. There is a sign in the convenance store that says, if you look under the age of forty you will be asked for ID before buying any tobacco products. I ask, what does forty look like? 

 It is that, I feel, that is so often forgotten and overlooked. The prime combat soldier is about twenty years old. The ones walking the battlefield, driving the tanks, engaging the enemy in the field, just young men. They don't feel like young men, just men. Men without any idea of what it is to be older. In my day many were drafted, it wasn't their idea. Still those young men went and did their duty. Their reasons for doing so as varied as the men themselves. As for myself, I joined not for glory, not for any compelling patriotism, but rather to better myself. It was an avenue. I was aware of the dangers, but you have to remember I was a young man, invulnerable! Nothing would happen to me. As it turned out, I was right. Twenty years and the ship didn't sink, I never got torpedoed. Divine providence? Yes, I think it was.

 Most of us know the history of Memorial Day. (Decoration day) I'm happy to see that, and social media has played an important role in that awareness. Not everything is bad about social media. People just love to state facts when the feeling is others do not know the facts. It is what makes conversation after all. Simply agreeing with whatever another person says isn't a discussion or a conversation, it's simply listening and agreeing. Like talking to your parents the reason is, because I said so. During the Civil War the average age of a soldier was twenty six. In Vietnam the average age of the soldier was twenty three. Today there are over six hundred thousand members of the armed forces under the age of twenty five. Young people? Yes, they certainly are.

 So today I find my thoughts drifting to all those young people that lost their lives in the battle. How many more lives never came to be as a result of that? I have been fortunate to have children, grandchildren and see generations moving ever forward. According to available statistics more than 1.1 million American lives have been lost in combat. That is in all wars combined. It's a staggering statistic when you realize than nearly half of all those casualties occurred during the civil war! Yes, nearly a half million lives lost in that war! A good thing I guess that the average age was twenty six, in that way there was another generation to follow! 

 Is it any wonder a special day was set aside to remember all those lost? No matter the true history of the how and why of decoration day, there are various telling's and recounting these days, inspired by political leanings and social justice warriors, the staggering loss of life was the true impetus. Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of survivors crippled physically and/or mentally. It's a testament to the persistence of man to survive, to move ever forward. And it is our young people that are that engine. Something to remember on this day especially. 

 The veterans of the civil war lie still in graveyards, cemeteries and backyards across this great nation. They were the first to fall. It was because they fell that we  stand united today. They preserved the union. A domestic dispute settled at the cost of nearly half a million lives. As we moved into the twentieth century memories began to fade. Other wars and conflicts filled our consciousness. But one hundred and six after the civil war ended a National holiday was declared to remember all the lives lost, in all the wars, battles, and conflicts. Memorial Day was chosen as the name, In Memoriam. The date of May 30 was selected because no major battle occurred on that date during the civil war. No battle was to be commemorated, only the lives lost, regardless of political affiliation. 

symbols

 Running later this morning. I was out late last night, well past ten o'clock! I know. But it was a fine wedding and a privilege to be among those invited. Two young people starting out their lives together. It's heartwarming and reassuring to witness traditions being carried forward. Rings exchanged as a symbol of their commitment to each other. Those kids are the same age as my grandchildren! Well, maybe a year or two older, but of the same generation as my grandchildren. It does give one pause to remember and relive moments in your own life. 

 I'll rest up today, put up my bunting for Memorial Day. I will be thinking about Poppies and the fallen. I'll remember the parades of my youth, the "old" people in their uniforms marching to that martial music, the flag waving and solemn tributes. Seemed like everyone wore a poppy back then. Of course, I realize I grew up in a small town and those traditions ran deep in those bygone days. Hard to believe that when I was just a young kid, say ten years old witnessing those parades, it had only been ten years since the Korean War and eighteen since the end of WW2. The memories were quite fresh to those "old" people. 

 To be witness to time is an honor, a gift not given to everyone. When I was a young man, we didn't hear much about heroes. Oh, there were a few names mentioned, the extraordinary men and women that were looked upon in awe. General George Patton, admired and hated at the same time. Ike, Chesty Puller, and Audie Murphy. All heroes. Few veterans of those wars spoke of combat or the hardships they faced. The fallen were rarely mentioned except in the smoke-filled posts of the VFW or the American Legion. Those places were the veterans gathered. Few wore any signs or symbols that they had served at all, at least in the general public. I think it was just a general sense of relief that they had survived, they made it home. That is the hope of every person that has ever served, to just make it back home. In the 1950's and 60's that was enough. 

 Memorial Day is the day to speak of those that didn't make it home. It's a day to remember, to pay homage to them, they are home again in our hearts. In all my family research I have found many that served. I have found that every single one of them returned, as near as I can tell. History has been kind to me and my ancestors. 

 When a veteran passes away, either in combat or due to other circumstance it makes no difference, these words are spoken as the carefully folded flag is handed to the next of kin, “On behalf of the President of the United States, [the United States Army, the United States Marine Corps, the United States Navy or the United States Air Force] and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.” Yes, that Flag is a symbol of all that is noble in man. The poppy is a symbol of those that gave that last full measure of devotion. God Bless America.    

it's an honor

 Today I'm attending a wedding. The groom is my wife's sisters' grandson. Joan Marie would be so happy and excited, along with her husband Fred. Sadly, they are both passed on as the saying goes. It was very kind of Trevor, that's the groom, to include us. I can't but feel like we are going to be the representatives for a generation. We are the "sentimental" invitees that attend all these family events. The old guard, as it were. The old people that are invited as a matter of protocol and good manners. 

 It's an honor to be included. I am pleased to attend and see the generations moving ever forward. We are all aware of the cost of such an event. We are all aware of the practical decisions that have to be made. The new bride has spent countless hours thinking about this occasion, this event that will mark a huge milestone in her life! This is forever. That's the mindset, as well it should be. Yes, it is an honor to be included.

 So today I will get all cleaned up, put on my best bib and tucker, and be a presence. Introduced to those future generations as Uncle Ben, as I am called by that family. The relationship will be explained to those that don't know. All older men in the family are called Uncle, unless they are the grandfather. I used to think that you became an uncle simply when your sibling had a child. Now I realize that there are different uncles. I'm an honorary uncle! It's respect. 

 I'm grateful for the invite and proud to attend. It's a reward of sorts. I can revel and enjoy their happiness, their excitement and just a small portion of their dreams. I'm a part of the future. Years will pass and memories collected. Always included in those memories will be Uncle Ben. He's the old guy in the back. He was married to your great grandmother's sister. Yes, it's quite an honor.     

       

The public domain

 Should social media platforms report conversations/statements of a harmful nature to the authorities? In this latest tragedy tweets, instagram, or whatever was used to send messages. No one reported those posts to authorities. Could someone have reacted to those in time? We'll never know that answer. Still it's a frustration for me. I type in a certain word or phrase on facebook and get blocked from posting anything more almost immediately. Now I've never said or posted anything that would warrant a report to the police. I've hurt a few feelings, expressed opinions that upset people but nothing threatening violence. I understand that you could never have enough "investigators" to respond to all of that. There has been some talk lately of 911 operators sending mental health professionals to a scene instead of the police. It's their judgement call. Social media platforms could make a judgement call as well. But again, I realize it is really just an algorithm that identifies my offensive comments and shuts down my ability to post. It's not a live person. That does cause a problem.

 I listened to some discussion on this topic and of course first amendment rights were at the forefront of that discussion. They should be. But my feeling remains unchanged from the times I have been prevented from posting. It's their game, they can take the ball and just go home. I do not have a right to post anything in there. I am allowed to post on there! It's a service I choose to use and as such I have no expectation of privacy. Like walking down the street or sitting in the movie theater, it's a public forum. It is not an infringement on my first amendment rights. Putting a camera, without my knowledge in my home is, recording my conversations without my knowledge is, restricting what I can post on their platforms is not! No one is saying you can't say that, they are saying, you can't say that here. Big difference.

 I do think social media platforms should report such to the authorities as quickly as possible. If there is a pattern of that from a particular source it should definitely be reported. If you aren't posting anything like that you have nothing to be concerned about. After all, all of that stuff is recorded, saved on a server somewhere, in some archive somewhere. Click on an advertisement and almost immediately you will receive thirty more for the same product. You are being watched right now! You don't get to complain about that when you get caught doing what you shouldn't be doing. It's quite simple really. All social media is in the public domain! That should be an established standard, a law, whatever you wish to call it. Air your dirty laundry on that line and everyone will see it! Don't want it to be public, don't post it. 

 Personally, I do not have an issue with that at all. I simply don't post what I don't want others to read or know. If you want to commit the perfect crime, no one should ever know that you did it. That's the perfect crime. Many times these criminals that are mental cases have a need to advertise their intentions. It's my feeling they are talking themselves into doing whatever it is they plan to do. If we can catch that, maybe we can stop some of the carnage. It's worth the effort in my opinion. Banning, or in some fashion restricting a particular weapon will not do that. The mental cases will simply choose another method. 

 All that being said I wish it were that simple. I know that it is not. Still I do feel these corporations have an obligation to report such. They certainly report to their advertisers every thing you do or say regarding a product or even expressing an interest in a product. I clicked on a advertisement for a multi-million dollar home and a real estate company sent me e-mail! Guess they didn't do much checking on my financial ability to purchase such a property. Still I was amused that they thought I might. I wasn't offended. If I clicked on some website advertising for weapons of mass destruction and the FBI knocks on my door, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. It's in the public domain.  

 

    

  

being sovereign

 I'm not a gun owner. The reason for that is a simple one, I have no use for one. I do not hunt, just don't find that activity fun or exciting. I am not interested in shooting at targets. The simple fact is, I just don't want one because I have no place to use one. If I lived in the wilderness somewhere I would most likely own several. If I lived in the city or a high crime area, I would have one by my bedside, or on my person. That being said I fully support the second amendment to the constitution. 

 Here's the truth. I took an oath when I was eighteen years old to defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. That meant the entire constitution and all its' amendments. I didn't get to choose which portions or paragraphs I would support, I promised to support the entire document. The second amendment is crystal clear in my opinion. The ability to own a firearm "shall not be infringed." That's what it says. It doesn't say I have to own one, only that I can choose to own one. Although I retired from active duty service in 1993 I have never retired from my oath. I will defend that constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Today I do so at the polls, not in uniform, but the obligation is the same. 

 John Adams said, "our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people." That is the simple truth of the matter. Interesting to note is John Adams wasn't in favor of the second amendment at all, his feeling was it ran contrary to  the constitution. His reasoning was it was the purpose of the militia to defend the country and to enforce the laws. Individual citizens should not have such a right. I have to respectfully disagree with John Adams in that regard. The right to bear arms, to defend oneself, is a basic human right. 

 The constitution was indeed made for a moral and religious people, the government was not! Governments actions are not to be based in moral or religious beliefs. That is why the separation of church and state. The premise Adams presented, our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people, presupposes that is what people will be. Unfortunately, that is simply not the case.   More so today than perhaps at any time in our national history that is the case. A lack of moral and religious behaviors by the citizens. You can call it mental illness, that is the politically correct way of defining that lack of moral and religious belief. This nation was founded in the Judeo-Christian tradition. It is those traditions/beliefs that Adams felt should only be enforced by an armed militia. IE: By government. A government of the people, a moral and religious people. A government that would punish those that act neither in a moral or religious way. Meaning anyone that doesn't obey the law. 

 The purpose of Congress is to make law. Those laws are supposed to be a direct reflection of the will of the people. That is what we vote for. The intent is to elect those officials that will support and enact legislation in accordance with the will of the people. That's why they are called representatives. The Bill of Rights were added, an amendment to the original document, to expressly delineate the rights of the individual! The other 17 added since confer power to the government. Should we remove that individual right and hand it exclusively to government? Do you trust the government with your personal safety? Do you trust the government to respond, in an instant, to your defense? Take a good look at governments throughout history that retain that right to themselves. 

 The constitution establishes the citizens of the United States as SOVEREIGN INDIVIDUALS. The meaning of such a term has changed and morphed over the centuries. I take it to mean, as the founders thought it meant, each person is responsible for themselves. No government should have absolute control over an individual. As such, every individual has an absolute right to defend themselves. If a firearm is required in that defense, you have an absolute right to own that firearm, that right shall not be infringed upon! The government doesn't get to decide if it is necessary or not! Of course, it was also expected that everyone would act in a moral and religious manner. If they did not, the law would address that. The removal of a right would not be the reaction, the reaction is to punish the offender. 

 Guns and gun ownership is just one example. It is in the forefront at this time. But the removal of rights is an ongoing process. There are those in government that would take from one group to give to another. They are calling it a wealth tax. Basically, it is saying I have a right to make as much money as I want, but I don't have a right to keep it! The government can decide just how much I'm allowed. There are those that are proposing another amendment to the Constitution, one that guarantees the right to kill the unborn! Is that a sovereign right? Sovereign means one. Does one have an absolute right to kill another? Does the government have the absolute right to kill whomever that government chooses? A moral and religious people? Or is it simply, insanity? It's insane to believe that any government can control the people, the people must control themselves. This is generally accomplished by moral and religious beliefs, not by law. Being sovereign means being personally responsible! It isn't the job of the government to control your actions! It is the job of the government to punish you for wrongdoing!    

helpless

 The vast majority of these blogs are written first thing while drinking my morning coffee. Some days I wake up with a topic in mind and at others I have to think about it. Rarely am I unable to write something. This morning I woke up with the realization of another school shooting and the news had only gotten worse overnight. Children, completely innocent children and their teachers shot down by an 18-year-old mental case. There is no determining motive, no reason, no explanation to be found in that. This is one of those times when even the most devout question their God. Why? There will never be an answer, never. 

 The response will be a cry for banning guns. That's where the blame will eventually be placed. I understand that, I get it. We have to place blame somewhere in order to "correct" the problem. In this instance, with what is being called "gun violence" today, the correction is to ban the gun. The thinking being, if crazy people can't get guns, no one gets hurt. Or, if we limit the number of shots fired, fewer people will get shot. But the reality is quite different. The reality is these crimes, and I don't even call them crimes, they are atrocities against humanity, are committed by mentally ill people! 

 There has always been those with bad intentions. There will always be those with bad intentions. That is the ultimate frustration, the helpless feeling we all have when these atrocities take place. If every gun were to magically disappear, atrocities will still occur. The answer is not to ban guns. As appealing as it may seem to some, it just isn't the answer. The truth, the God awful truth in all of this is simple enough, you are not going to stop madness! Those wishing to do harm to others will always find a method! Guns, knives, clubs, baseball bats, chemicals, automobiles, airplanes, and any number of things can be utilized to create mass destruction and casualties. You can't ban everything. 

 I'm no different than anyone else. I'm horrified, angered, frustrated, and grief stricken, all at the same time. Why did that happen? How did that happen? Was there anything that could have been done to prevent that from happening? And there are no answers to any of those questions. How does a heart become that dark? Never mind about how the person gets whatever instrument they use to perform these atrocities. We should be concerned with how a person gets to that state of mind. And in that lies the frustration. There simply isn't much we can do at all. It's a helpless feeling. We are helpless against those with intent to do harm. The best we can do is to try to mitigate the damage. When it comes to lives lost, one is far too many! Banning guns? Is that the answer? Will that correct the problem? No, it will not. 

it's new

Yesterday I spoke of absolutes and the search for them. We do that individually as well as scientifically. The greatest accomplishment is to have absolute faith. Not many of us achieve that. What you believe is not as important as the belief itself! That's the irony in it all. Epictetus said, "all religions must be tolerated for every man must get to heaven in his own way." He was really talking about belief.  He wasn't advocating for any one belief to harm others with that belief, something that all religions have managed to achieve throughout history. It's a fine line indeed between the Evangelists and the Zealots! The truth is what we individually perceive it to be. That's just how it works. The majority of us will have ever changing, ever evolving beliefs and our truth will change. The determination of absolute truth is the goal. Absolute truth is the providence of prophets. Separating the true prophet from the false can only be done on an individual basis. It is something you simply must do for yourself. You may be convinced by the testimony of others, at least temporarily, but the hardest person to convince is yourself. Self-sacrifice is the hardest sacrifice of all. Giving of our time or money isn't that difficult. Denying yourself, that is just a bit harder. 

 The thing is we all know right from wrong. We are born with that knowledge; it is intrinsic to the nature of man. It is our parents, siblings, and society in general that defines the exceptions, what is allowed. From our earliest moments we begin to learn that. Our first cries are cries for help. We begin to learn what is allowed to gain that help, and what is expected in return. You are supposed to operate within those boundaries. 

 Governments and Religions serve the same purpose. Our government was the first to separate the two. That was the result of abuses over centuries of rule. Clerics ruled over the everlasting, while emperors and kings ruled the everyday. The premise with our government is that the individual will rule the whole. Not that much different than the Christian view that Christ rules the whole. The one God theory, monotheism. as it is called by the scholars. The ancient Greeks, among others, had polytheism. The problem with that system was the Gods fighting among themselves, at the expense of the mortals.

 But society itself is ever changing, ever evolving and the absolute truth evades us. Either that, or we choose to not accept the truth. The latter I believe, is closer to the reality of this world. The truth being, all men are created equal. Well, except they are not born into equal circumstance. It is our response to circumstance that will eventually define our character. We may, or may not, become successful as defined by society in general. The truth, the absolute truth lies somewhere between the truth we are taught, and the truth that we live. 

 When are we successful? How is that measured? What is the standard you must meet?  As we age we discover the standard is ever changing and that causes consternation and doubt. That is unless we achieve the goal, the goal of absolute belief. Ironically we will then be labeled in some fashion. Stubborn, obstinate, old fashioned or set in our ways. We will be told we need to change our ways, adopt new ideas and standards for conduct. Discard those old, outdated ideas and get with the program. There is a new truth! Is there, really? 

what's the thinking here?

 I was thinking about quotes and adages yesterday. Quotes are simply what someone else said, the validity of the statement is subjective. An adage on the other hand is a general truth. Quotes become adages through acceptance. Is truth subjective to time? That's where the conversation takes a turn. Is yesterday's truth still the truth today? Everyone will say, that depends. There are no absolutes. Yet science is centered around finding the absolutes in the universe. The goal being a grand unified theory to explain everything. In short, to know the truth. The absolute truth.

 I did receive a few comments on my blog posting about quotes, adages, and related topics. One friend said she had learned that she "should just keep her mouth shut" when she disagrees with what others are saying. I recognize sarcasm when I read it, and she was being sarcastic. I countered with; silence is consent. Later I was talking to my wife about all of that she says, you always disagree. She too was just being sarcastic, as I'm certain she admires my insight, quick wit and intellect. So I pointed out to her that just agreeing with others isn't having a conversation. For that reason I offer an alternative thereby sparking a conversation, a discourse , an exchange of ideas. Not my fault when others think I'm fighting with them. It's their own insecurity that makes them feel that way. 

 Marcus Aurelis, Roman Emperor and philosopher said, "The soul become dyed with the color of its' thoughts" I believe that to be an absolute truth. We do become whatever we think about, as long as we think about it long enough. I was thinking that may also apply to a nation. Our Constitution and Bill of Rights are the thoughts of the nation. They are the "soul" of the nation. Few changes have been made to those documents. Our Declaration of Independence, the mission statement for the founding of a nation has never been changed! The Constitution, with the addition of the Bill of Rights was ratified two hundred and thirty one years ago. Since that time seventeen revisions have been made. Interesting to note is the first ten amendments were added to protect and delineate the rights of the people! The following 17 concern the rights of the government. It would seem that is where the thoughts of the nation have turned. 

 Are we becoming what are thoughts are? That is to say, the nation? There are those that would repeal the Constitution in its' entirety! What thoughts are we having as a nation? One glaring thought being, the right to life, the right to be born at all. Is that dependent solely upon the wishes of the mother? Is that the thought? Life or death is the mother's decision! Quite the contrast from the thought that every man has a right to life and that life should not be taken without due process of law. Whereas it is true, nowhere in the Constitution does it say you have a right to life. But it's my thought the thinking was, no need to state the obvious. Just because it isn't written down, doesn't mean that right doesn't exist. Indeed, the tenth amendment addresses just that. "The power not delegated to the United States by the constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people." Are rights and powers the same thing? What's your thoughts? The tenth amendment is clear enough. If it isn't written in the Constitution or Bill of Rights or prohibited to it by the states, the states OR THE PEOPLE, retain that power. The power is doing what is right! Our thoughts determine what is right and wrong. Our beliefs determine that! A nation that allows the indiscriminate termination of life based on a "choice"? What color would the soul of that nation be?  

committed

 I've heard it said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I have to agree with that. By imitation the hope is to duplicate whatever success or popularity the one quoted enjoys. Somehow, we all feel just a bit smarter by quoting others. I suppose it is supposed to show others that we are well read as the saying goes. Or at the very least we have a good memory. It's an amazing thing really. Out of the thousands, or millions of words written or spoken in a person's lifetime, a very small number will be remembered and quoted. It is those words that we remember that person by. It is also what we think the person must have been. By repeating those words, we are imitating that person.

 It is interesting if you read a number of quotes, easily done today on the internet, I often go to Brainy Quotes. A great many of those people I know absolutely nothing about. I will then Google that person. I try to get a sense of their feelings and leanings. I have discovered that remarkable things are often spoken by unremarkable people. I have discovered quotes that I agree with to only discover the person responsible for that quote was basically a terrible person. "Let me control the textbooks, and I will control the state." (Adolf Hitler) As vile a person as he was, he did express a basic truth worth remembering. "Indifference is dangerous, whether innocent or not." (Pope Francis) A call to action? 

 In all my writing I occasionally pen something I particularly like. I write them in another journal I keep on my desk. The same journal that has my poems in it. Just bullet statements really, that's what they would call them in business. I write them down separate like that in the hope they will get read. I don't expect anyone to read all these blogs of mine and extract the thoughts I like the best, people will read and take what they like. Often the context of that thought is left behind. That's the insight to the person that I'm thinking about. It is my hope that that some of my "quotes" become an adage. I call them quotes because that's what they are at the moment. It takes others to make them an adage. They have to be repeated! 

 An adage, by definition, expresses a general truth. They express the moment the proverbial light bulb turns on. It happens to us all. It also happens at different times and for different reasons. Some of us learn in silence and for others it takes drama and turmoil. We can do it the hard way or the easy way. It's not always our choice. But, we learn and the bulb lights up on a general truth. The truth isn't always what we want to hear or admit too. Still, truth remains. "Emotions are great motivators, seldom are they good guides." (A. B. Reichart, Jr) That's a general truth I discovered for myself. It isn't so much the discovery though, it is the acceptance of the truth. Truth is what you perceive it to be. That is expressed in the Theory of Relativism. Yes I agree, it is all relative. 

 We all choose to be an imitation. The decision lies in what to emulate. Will it be our parents, siblings, cousins, sports figures, celebrities or singers? On some level we do choose. It could be that I just haven't committed yet. Is that what successful people do? Make that decision early on in life? Those are the folks we often admire the most. The go-getters, those that are committed to their craft. They are successful. We are told to do that from the very beginning. Chase your dream! True happiness can only be found when you realize your dreams. Perhaps the secret simply lies in recognizing the dream. 

 I do not consider myself a philosopher, scholar, or having any special talents or insights into mankind. I'm just here doing what I can. I'd say doing the best I can, but in truth that takes more effort than I'm willing to expend at the moment. I'm doing what I have to do most of the time. It'll stay that way until I commit myself to something further. Over the last decade or so I have taken a more active interest in history. That could be simply because I have more of it. I have also found myself a bit more philosophical than when I was younger. I stumbled upon this quote, "History is philosophy teaching by example." (Thucydides) Looked him up, he was a general in the Roman Army, wrote a few books and is studied by military scholars to this very day. I can quote him. It's a form of imitation. But I'm not committed, although I've been told I should be. 

Acceptance

 There are things that most people don't want to talk about. One of those things is dying. I don't mind talking about that eventuality at all. It's going to happen, no escaping that. Maybe after I die I can identify as living, is that what ghosts are doing, but I don't believe that at all. I do wonder if I will know it. Will I know that I am dead? I don't think I will is where my thoughts are on that subject. That could change I suppose. But I find myself asking questions. Questions like, why is dying thought of as a bad thing? I mean most of us don't want to do it! Is it that we feel we will be missing something? Is dying denying ourselves something? We don't want to do it, do we? No, we don't. Do we die when we have no reason to live? Do we get to decide that? Is it reason or purpose?  

 Now I can't say whether or not I will be afraid when it's my time to die, won't know that until the time. The hope is to go in my sleep. I think most of us want that exit. I have to admit that I do think about a great last dramatic statement, like in the movies, before my last breath. I don't want everyone to plunge into despair, rather, I want everyone to go, well damn! That should be followed by, you never know what you have till its' gone. That's the ideal scenario for me. 

 Afraid of death, or afraid of dying? I think they are different things altogether. The fear of the unknown? I can honestly say I'm not afraid of what happens after I die. I'll be dead. Can it get worse? The question is, if it can will there be anything I can do about it? Probably not. It is what it is. As far as being afraid of dying the fear is in suffering, not the dying part. I don't want it to hurt. If it does I wouldn't want anyone to know that. It could ruin my image of being a tough guy. Perception is everything when it comes to that stuff. The British would say, keep a stiff upper lip. My father would say, quit that blubbering! That's what he called that crying you did as a child, the kind where you are trying catch your breath, the spittle is gurgling, you are sniffling and your whole face is quaking. Quit your blubbering!

 The acceptance of mortality. That's what I'm talking about. There are many papers written by learned scholars on the topic. Like everything else studies, surveys and polls taken. It is known that the older you get, the more accepting of that fact you become. No kidding. Another general finding is that when you accept your place in the world, your standing, position, or place, however you wish to define that, the easier it becomes. It concerns settling your affairs. What exactly those affairs may be are as diverse as the people worried about them. What concerns you? 

 I worry about what will happen to my stuff. That's what I find my concerns to be, most of the time. The objects that hold the most importance to me are the things I worry about. Their monetary value isn't even a question. No one is selling anything I got and getting rich. You wouldn't get a tank of gas or a big mac. The value lies in sentiment and memory. I realize it is my sentiment and memories and that is the source of the concern. Can I reasonably expect anyone else to carry those forward? The answer is no, and that is another reality that is difficult to accept. It is closely related to mortality. It's an end. 

 Life will go on for those left behind. They will keep going just as I have over the years and through the losses. I don't need to worry about them. I figure to do what I can for them while I am here. After that, you're on your own. The inanimate objects and the intangible however require a host, a curator to continue on. That is the concern and what I want reassurance on. The problem being few want to take that seriously while you are living because they don't want to accept that you will die. Or, they don't want to say that to you instead saying, that's a long time from now.   Well, maybe, maybe not. I'm thinking that were I holding a fortune the attitude might be different. Guess it all depends upon what you classify as inheritance. Lots of definitions for that one isn't there? My hope, and fear if you want to call it that, is that my inheritance will not be recognized. One mans treasure and all that. Well, you can't take it with you as they say. I have to learn to accept that, dying will happen whether I want it or not.  

  

expecting more

 I listened to this person on a television program explaining that Americans work too hard. We are capitalists only concerned with possessions and making money. She went on to say how the Europeans have it right. They have lots of time off, go on vacations all the time, and generally live a happy life full of recreation. Americans, in contrast, keep their nose to the grindstone. And that, that is what drives all the crime we are seeing in the country. It is affecting our mental health! We all need to party more, work less.

 I found myself shaking my head listening to all of that, it just sounded so juvenile. I could hear myself saying that, when I was twelve. But do I have to? That was the most frequent question my parents would hear whenever chores had to be done, homework completed, or my room cleaned. Why should I make the bed, it's just going to get messed up tonight? I really should just do whatever I want, when I feel like it. But, at the same time I knew better than to say, I'm bored! Bored, there is plenty to keep you occupied, let's see. I always found something better to do! Truth was, it was usually something that just wasted time. 

 This American mindset of hard work and family goes back to the beginning. Just who came to this continent, and why? There were those escaping religious persecution and those escaping financial persecution. In many cases the two being intermingled so closely it is hard to differentiate one from the other. The idea was to build a future for themselves and their progeny. Work for what you have, enjoy the fruits of your labor, and set the example for future generations. In short, you aren't here to simply have a good time. It's all about sacrifice. Your reward comes after. Don't count your chickens before they hatch! That is the mandate I was given. You have to count on yourself before anything else. That is independence. It's what the word independent means! 

 Being independent is becoming confused with being selfish. Being independent isn't about you! Independence means working together towards a common goal, each doing their part. It isn't taking a vacation. You have to carry your own weight in a truly independent nation. Yes, charity is a hallmark of those that work hard and have strong moral convictions. Ours, the United States, is based on the Christian tradition, which includes charity. But, charity should not be a dependence, rather charity is just what it is, a gift. If you are dependent upon charity, in any of its' many social forms, you are not independent. You can't gain independence through charity! It takes hard work, dedication and a strong degree of ethics. 

 I make no claim to being a student of history or holding any insights about the nature of humanity. I do enjoy philosophizing about things. In my world we call that, chewing the fat. It's only philosophy when you get paid for it. It's funny though, most of the people with a degree in philosophy have a job other than philosophizing. Quite a few are very successful people, CEO's and Presidents of Universities, even financial managers. Me, I just sit around and think about stuff and write these blogs. I don't receive a cent, so I'm just chewing the fat. 

 I hear an awful lot of talk these days about me. I should have this or that. I am being treated this way or that. I am the exception. I am owed. It's a lot of talk about perceptions and feelings. I see it as an avoidance. It's a way to avoid facing the reality of the world. That reality is simple enough. You are here, as the result of circumstance. You get out pretty much what you put in. Bad things happen to good people. Some have, some have not. As John Donne wrote, no man is an island, entire of itself. Man needs other men. We are dependent upon one another. With that dependence comes a responsibility. The responsibility to do your part, not for you, but for the common good. The reward comes later. It always comes later. 

 Do we control the degree of reward? That is a philosophical question to be considered. Heaven and Hell is one way of viewing that, or coming back as an animal or a plant. Past lives, new lives, do-overs? Is all that dependent upon our actions today? We are all a piece of the whole, whatever that whole is. I wonder, will I get the answer? Maybe later I will, it's always later. Good things comes to those who wait. That's what I was told. I recently learned that Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying, "good things come to those who wait, but only those things left behind by those who hustle" Honest Abe had a way of saying things. It's a different view. I always took the adage to mean, don't rush into anything, be patient and good things will happen. I guess Abe figured, somebody has to do it! He's got a good point there.

 The final reward is a gift and as such should be unknown to us. That's my thought. A surprise; receiving something we didn't even know we wanted. They are always the best gifts, aren't they? They are to me. It means that someone took the time to know me and the time to care. A thoughtful gift carries the most sentiment. It is better than getting what I asked for. If you don't have expectations, you won't be disappointed. 

Being aware

 There is a saying that no news is good news. I wish that one day I'll get up, turn on the television and hear, no news today. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing. It's not ever going to happen though as humanity feeds on trauma. It seems we actively seek that. Listening to the morning newscast it is one story after another. Very seldom do you hear about anything positive, except in those special segments with cute names. 

 The New York Times newspaper has a famous banner saying. " All the news that's fit to print." I'd say that isn't the case today. It should read, " All the news that makes profit." The radical stories and ideas they print today would be considered "blue" journalism by the founder of that paper. To say that paper supports the left is a vast understatement. I admit I was never a devoted reader of the Times, always a little hoity-toity for my tastes, too cosmopolitan for a country boy. But I did respect what they wrote and would use it as a source on occasion. The only occasion today would be if I was using an outhouse. 

 I'm told this is mental health awareness month. That's the news. People are nuts! Ah, yeah, I've known that for some time now. Now there is a bill in Congress to create a domestic terrorism task force. Its goal is to target white supremacists and prevent mass shootings. Sounds like a plan, doesn't it? One more way the government gets to monitor what you say, how you say it, when you say it and all the methods you use to say it. Couple that with the Office of Disinformation and you have the makings of a real socialist state! But, that's the news I'm hearing right now. And you are encouraged to report your neighbors, your friends, strangers, anyone at all, to the authorities, you can remain anonymous. You only have to tell your name if you want the reward.

 We are so busy "including" everyone and removing "barriers" that we are losing sight of the objective. The purpose of government is to protect the people from chaos and establish regulations for the peaceful co-existence of the people. In order to do that exclusions and barriers need to be established! You can't just simply allow anything and everything and say you have order! You have to establish the guidelines and work within those guidelines. This "inclusion" and "barrier" elimination is what is causing the chaos we are all living in! When we allow the minority to rule the majority what more can you expect. When the governments reaction to every crisis is either malaise or panic, that's a problem.

 I could just turn off the news, turn off the computer and bury my head in the sand but I'm not going to do that. I want to know what's going on around me. Not that I have any belief, or hope, that I can change a thing. I'm just a very tiny cog in the universe. I'm fine with that having accepted reality a long time ago. There are those that have, those that have not, and then there is everyone else. I'm everyone else. It does get tiring though. There is an old song about "we sure could use a little good news today" that sums it up fairly well. I'd settled for, no news today. I want to stay aware, just not hear any bad news today, for one day. It's a nice thought.   

In contrast

 Contrasts. The older we grow the more contrasts we have in life. I'm thinking of dates and events. All the highs and lows. Every day it seems I am reminded. Sometimes by the calendar, sometimes by a song or words spoken, but reminded.  Merle Haggard wrote this, and the words linger. "I guess everything does change except what you chose to recall." Yes Merle, things do stay the way you chose to remember them. I believe that is the best way, the way to remain in focus, to adjust the contrast between good and bad, happiness and despair.

 Yesterday was a bright spot. My grandson received his degree and my chest swelled with pride at his accomplishment. In a way it's my accomplishment too. Yes, I'm grasping a piece of that limelight, a piece of the joy to share with him. I remember walking him to pre-school, taking him to kindergarten, elementary, middle, high school and even college. I did read to him, I listened as he read to me. We have talked, debated, and learned from one another. I was a part of all that, it is what I chose to recall. It is what I will always recall. 

 In contrast to yesterdays' high I awoke this morning knowing that exactly one year ago today my Mom passed away. The calendar tells no lies, it just remembers. I miss the phone calls, even the  ones I hesitated to make because I was busy, or didn't feel like talking. A year to get used to that absence. The contrast is still on high. Time will fade that, it always does. It isn't that we forget, it's just that it becomes familiar. It's a part of aging, this familiarity with loss. It isn't something that you learn, it is something that simply happens, like time, inevitable. But I think it is important to remember what was gained in the process. What we chose to recall, as Merle put it. .

 It is a balance, like most everything in life. It's best to avoid excess, whether the excess is the good or the bad. You can have too much of a good thing! You can also dwell too long on the bad. One in contrast to the other. Learning to live takes patience. I look at the past, often through rose colored glasses, confident that tomorrow will come, just as it supposed to. Grandmother Bennett often said, do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself. Biblical advice. I remember and I smile. That, I think, is the best one can hope for. I'm smiling like a Chesire cat thinking about yesterday, a bit smug, knowing I helped. I'm smiling when I remember my Mother, for all that she was, she remains Mom.

“For every item that carries the darkness of humanity there's one that holds the light. And that light is worth believing in. Not just in others, but in yourself as well.”
― C.M. Rayne, The Forbidden Land of Andara   

 

   

fulfilled

 Today I am going to the commencement ceremony for my grandson. He will graduate from Stevenson University with a degree in law studies. He plans on going to law school and has been accepted at the University of Maryland. He completed his degree program at Stevenson in just three years having taken some courses while still in high school. On the Deans list every year, we couldn't be prouder of his accomplishments. At the present time his interest is in corporate law. I have no doubt that he will be successful no matter which direction he eventually goes. 

 It's an exciting time for all of us. I can't help but remember taking him to pre-school and watching him as he learned to count, learned his letters and began to read. Always inquisitive and always absorbing whatever information came his way. Of an independent spirit he was never easily influenced by the crowd. He has an "old" soul as I like to say. His thoughts and insights are beyond his years. Self confident and assured he takes on every challenge before him. He became an accredited referee for soccer, a job he continues to perform whenever the opportunity presents itself. He is "licensed" and receives payment. That qualifies as a professional in my book. He is suited to the task as he isn't easily intimidated by anyone, even when he was younger he would simply stand his ground in the face of "parental" outrage. 

 Yes, he is strong in that regard. When he is reffing, he is right! That's his mindset and you aren't about to change it without evidence. I'm certain that tenacity will serve him well in the field of law. He knows the rules and I'm certain he will know the law. When he feels he is right that's it. I have no idea where that came from, that stubborn streak, but others hint at the source.

 So today we will go celebrate another milestone passed. So much to look forward too. I'm enjoying the journey right along with him. Our reward is watching the following generations grow and prosper. Not all of us get that reward and I'm grateful that I am among those blessed in that fashion. At the end of the day, after the dust has settled, I can sit back and relax. All is well. Tomorrow is never promised, tomorrow is hope. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12) I am blessed to watch the branches grow. 

You good with that?

 Yesterday when I was writing about my family I mentioned how my great grandfather had passed away in the Alms house at Yapank, New York. He suffered from stomach cancer and had no means of support. The how and why of that situation I just don't know, he had family. Why he didn't live with them, why they didn't care for him, why, I have no clue. That he entered and left that Alms house on several occasions is recorded. You could be accepted and rejected for many reasons.

 From all accounts the Alms house wasn't a very pleasant place to find yourself. In colloquial jargon, it was the poor house. When I was young I would hear the old folks talk about that. You'll wind up in the poor house was a constant admonishment for making poor decisions with your money. I thought it was where poor people went, and that was a part of it, but it was also where you went when you couldn't afford health care. The state provided those services. 

 The horror stories about those alms houses are plentiful and hold a great deal of the truth about them. There were very strict rules and regulations that had to be followed. Everyone was required to work, to contribute to the functioning of that place to the extent of their abilities. That there were abuses is beyond question. Great Grandfather Christian suffered the indignity of that place, suffered from the abuses, but apparently had no other options. I thought all of that was long ago. I should say longer ago. He passed away in 1940! 1940 is only eight two years ago. Time is subjective isn't it? Christian out lived two brothers and his wife. He also outlived his son, Elwood. His grandson, my father was born in 1924. I don't believe my father ever knew that his grandfather Christian was still alive! With the death of his own father, when he was eight, connections to that family were severed. 

 But there may have been some knowledge, spoken in whispers. The gentleman I mentioned yesterday that we called Uncle Ben had been the best friend of grandfather Elwood. Grandfather Elwood being my Dad's dad. I have a picture of that man when he came to visit my father. It was sometime after grandfather Elwood had passed. He surely would have known all about Christian, Catherine, and the rest of the family from that side. I wonder if grandfather Elwood and his family had become estranged. Remember Grandfather Elwood remarried shortly after the death of grandmother Clara, my dad's mom, and his sons from that marriage stayed with great grandmother Lucy. Six years passed and grandfather Elwood had two more sons, but never did his first two sons go to live with him again. He passed away in 1932. 

 Was all of that kept quiet, not spoken of in polite company, as we used to say? Dad rarely spoke of any of that. He mentioned, a few times, the name Gaffga that meant something to him, he knew he was related somehow. I don't believe he knew exactly what that connection was. Dad was close to Aunt Minnie, Elwood's sister. They visited often and she was very good and generous to us kids. Surely there must have been talk. But, it was her brother that had tragically died so young and one does not speak ill of the dead. Perhaps it was a topic left unspoken. Remember Elwood's wife Clara had died and the children left with her parents. Elwood's father Christian had done similar. When Catherine died his daughter went to live with her grandfather, I think his son did as well. He didn't raise them after that. It was beginning to look like a legacy! 

 There are many other knots in the family story yet to be untied. It is a tangled mess. The more I discover, the more I ask questions? The biggest problem being there are few left that have the answers. We all have at least eight great grandparents. That's if you only count first marriages, multiple marriages aren't uncommon. Each generation has its' secrets. There are those things not spoken about, not brought up in conversation for a wide variety of reasons. Many of those secrets are taken to the grave. I'm no exception. I have secrets too. Secret knowledge. The thing is I don't want to carry that knowledge with me for eternity. I will write it down eventually. Then, it is my hope that one day it will be discovered. Discovered and read with the impartiality of a history book. 

 It's a strange feeling however, to discover secrets. All those names, those lives and the choices they made. They are my relatives. I feel a sense of connection. I'm ashamed of some of their choices, question their motives and thoughts. I'm like most people we don't want to say anything bad about the past. It's true even when we are distant from that past. We are elated if we discover the good, disappointed when we discover the bad. It's judgement without context. There are no witnesses. You are the only eye witness to your life. What will be said or written about you is what others see. Are you good with that?   

bloodlines and lifelines

 For no particular reason my thoughts wandered to my great grandmother Catherine. Now I never knew her, never heard anyone else even speak of her, but I discovered her in my family tree research. Sure, I knew I had to have a great grandmother, but it isn't something most of us give any thought to. I was excited to learn her name and about her family. I was even fortunate enough to discover a stranger that was also related to her and provided me with a picture of her. I dutifully entered all that information into my genealogy program. A few more blocks filled in. That information has been there for a few years now. And then, as I said for no particular reason, she came to mind. 

 Catherine was married in 1895 to my great grandfather (obviously) Christian Reichart. They had two children together.  Great Aunt Mildred (minnie) my sister's namesake, and Elwood my grandfather. Catherine passed away in 1914. The same year that WW1 began. Great Aunt Minnie was sixteen years old and her brother fourteen. I know that Great Aunt Minnie went to live with her grandfather, Peter Gaffga. Where her brother went is a bit of a mystery, as he doesn't appear in the census records until 1930. But I do know he became a very close friend of a man named Austin Bennett. My father's namesake. I have a picture of that man as well and he was called Uncle Ben. 

 Grandfather Reichart, son of Catherine married Clara Lester in 1921. They had two children together. Elwood Christian Reichart, named I assume for my great grandfather Christian and my dad, Austin Bennett Reichart. Yes, I wound up as Jr., although dad often told me that wasn't his idea. He never told me what his choice would have been though. But grandmother Clara would pass a few days after my father's birth. For reasons I can only surmise Clara 's mom, my great grandmother Lucy would raise those children. Grandfather Elwood would remarry in 1924. He would pass away in 1932, when my dad was just eight years old. He was seldom spoken of when I was growing up. 

 Great Aunt Minnie would never have children of her own. The reason for that is unknown to me as such things were not discussed. But she did marry well, as the saying goes, first to man named Goldberg, who, by all accounts was a wealthy businessman. How she came to know him I can't say, but I think she was his secretary. The marriage didn't last as great aunt Minnie left him for the captain of the yacht he owned. Uncle Mark is who I knew him to be. He was an artist, a carpenter and a ship's captain. 

 I don't know maybe all that came to mind because of recent events. My granddaughter is going to her boyfriend's prom and my grandson graduates from Stevenson University on Tuesday. Family blood lines and lifelines. Many of those lines have become disconnected and confused. The intricoes of life exerting their influence. By all accounts great grandmother's family were quite well to do folks. They owned a shipyard and several businesses. After Catherines passing however Great Grandfather Christian seems to have little to do with her family. I know little of him beyond he passed away from stomach cancer at the Alms house in Yapank, New York. 

 My sister passed away of the same thing just about four years ago, it'll be four this December. Grandfather Elwood passed away from a ruptured appendix on a trip to Florida. I knew Great Grandfather Lester well but he never talked about such things. Of course I was just a young kid then and in those days such things were rarely discussed. I was just three when Great Grandmother Lucy passed so I don't remember her. Now all my grandparents are long since gone, my parents gone too. I don't want them to be lost or forgotten. Maybe Catherine is speaking to me, saying, write it down. Could be. 

 I related this story before but will include it here as well. After getting a picture of Great Grandmother Catherine I went to the store to find a frame. As I was sorting through them I spotted this frame that says you can record a message that will play whenever someone touches the button. It had a sticker on it saying, try me. I, of course, had to try it. I pushed the button and a rather ethereal voice says, very plainly, hello Ben. Now knowing I was looking for a frame for Catherine it freaked me out! How in the world? I put it back on the shelf and told my wife and her sister about it. We continued shopping for a bit. Joan, that's my wife's sister insisted I should buy that frame, she says it was an omen. I did and it still hangs on my wall, with Catherine in there, and still says, Hello Ben whenever I push that button. It has been at least six years and the battery still works! Eternal? I don't know but Catherine speaks to me. A blood line or a lifeline?     

Enough

 It shouldn't surprise anyone. The more you get to know someone else, the more likely you are to find something you don't agree with them about. Yet, it is something that happens to all of us. I know I am surprised occasionally by postings on social media. I know others are sometimes surprised by mine. It happens when we begin to think we know the other person and make certain assumptions. For instance, we attended school together. That is to say, we were in the same school, at the same time. It doesn't necessarily mean we knew anything about that person. Many of our classmates we only knew by reputation and gossip. We weren't in their social circle for a variety of reasons. Still, I think I can say with a certain degree of accuracy that the ones I didn't hang around with then, are the ones I wouldn't hang around with today. 

 Getting along with, liking, and loving are all different states of a relationship. I've found I can get along with just about anyone, for a period of time. That probably comes from my time in the service where you had to learn that skill. When you are on a ship at sea for months at a time, you learn. Other than rank, everyone is pretty much in the same boat, no pun intended. You have to interact with them. There were a number of people I grew to like. Never fell in love with any of them though! 

 The thing is this, when you find enough not to like about that person, you begin to not get along. When you just can't get along with someone the best thing to do is just walk away. On social media, just block them. I've done that exactly three times in the last eleven years. There are others I don't block but I avoid interacting with simply because we don't have a lot in common. I can get along with them, doesn't mean I like them. When you like something, you want more of that something. When you love something, you keep it whether you like it or not! One of the mysteries of the human condition. Sometimes we have to let go. 

 How much do you need to know? I guess that is the question here. Will knowing one thing, that you perceive to be negative about a person, prevent you from liking that person? Does it depend upon the severity of the offense? That is to say, if it offends your personal moral code is that sufficient? What about political affiliation? Religious belief? If someone doesn't agree with you, do they become your enemy? How much do you need to know? When is it enough?  

Who's in control

 I am not up on the new vehicles like I was in my younger days. I'm so old I remember waiting until September for the new model year to come out. I'm so old I remember when the new model year cars looked different than previous years. I'm so old I remember gas caps under the rear license plate and taillights! That was innovation. Automatic antennas and radio with am/fm autotuning. But yesterday I was watching a television commercial for a new car. The advertisement centered on this car having Alexa! Yes, an Alexa device is installed! Just ask and go! A regular command and control center in the dashboard. Pretty amazing stuff. Probably not the first car to have this, as I said I'm just not up on all of this. I wondered about the cost however. I remember my daughter in law having a new car some years ago that had internet. You could talk to the rear view mirror and make phone calls. Thought that was neat until she told me how much that cost. On Star I think is what she called it, something like that.

 I wonder if in the future all internet access will be "free." I put free in quotes because we all know there is no such thing as free. But you know what I mean. I've already heard of plans to provide internet and wi-fi to those "underserved" communities. Underserved means, you can't afford all the extras. Will internet access simply become a necessity in the modern world? Hey, people laughed about indoor plumbing at one time. And what percentage of the population now carries a phone with them? The answer is about 94% of the population carry a cell phone! 94%. There are plans for everyone! There are also lots of free hot spots and wi-fi connections available. Will we all pay an internet access tax? I'd say, yes.

  I'm aware that computers have been controlling our automobiles for some time. The electronic ignition systems were perhaps the first incarnation of that. Very reliable but a bit mysterious. That has progressed to what we have today with the ECM's and other computer systems under the hood. I'm woefully ignorant of all of that. I know just enough to know enough to leave that stuff alone! I haven't progressed beyond plugging the code reader device into the diagnostic link connector. I have replaced coil packs instead of just a single ignition coil. Very techy stuff. And now the addition of Alexa. Hey Alexa, where is the nearest cannabis dispensary? Hey Alexa, you drive I'm tired. I guess it is Alexa that is driving in those commercials I see. You know the one, where the family is singing we will rock you while the "driver" takes his hands off the wheel. I'm so old I was taught to keep my hands at ten and two, both hands on the wheel! I just hope the Alexa in the car understands me better than the one in my sons house. It doesn't always get it right! Could be an issue. 

 I don't know how much all of this is connected but I'm assuming it could be. If these vehicles are controlled by Alexa (computers) could they also be controlled from outside sources. Will the Police simply transmit a code to your vehicle? The car pulls to the side of the road, shuts off, and the doors all lock! No running, no escaping for you! And how much information is being stored in your onboard computer, including all communications, inquiries and destinations. Will all that be accessible? I'm certain it would take a subpoena, a search warrant or whatever. So what does that mean? Your vehicle would be impounded until such time as that was settled. Maybe all of that is already happening, I don't know.

 I don't know but makes me a bit nervous and skeptical. Seems like the computers are starting to control us, at least those that control the computers are. It's just that now it's getting on an ever expanding level. Will the speed and spacing of vehicles be controlled? Self driving requires that doesn't it? Will the destination also be controlled? It could easily be accomplished. If you do not have the correct password or QR codes to enter into the computer, access denied. Can you recharge that electric vehicle? Hard to go off the grid when the grid supplies that power! 

 Well, I was upset when the first electronic ignition systems came out. I still don't like all of that or the computers in the cars. I don't trust any self driving, self parking, cars. I admit to using GPS in the car but to be honest I kinda miss the old road maps. At least with those you did "see" other places in between your destinations. Taking a detour was always fun. Alexa, never mind, I'll do it myself! Like Dad always said, if you want something done right, do it yourself. I like the Independence! We are slowly losing that in our everyday lives. Progress? Progressing toward what? Dependence upon technology? Control by satellites? Who is in control of the satellites? That's what we need to be concerned with.   

it's a theory

 Next week a committee in congress will hold public hearings on UFO's. Several top officials will testify about unusual and unexplained encounters with mysterious aircraft. This is mostly because they are being seen in restricted air space. It is a possible security risk. The question is, a security risk to whom? If they truly are of extraterrestrial origin, they would be a security threat to the planet. And just what are we going to do about that? My thinking is, not much. But why should we assume they mean any ill intent. 

 It doesn't do any harm to have a meeting and talk about all of this, I'm all for that. I'm just wondering what the purpose would be? If whoever is flying those aircraft, and maybe there isn't anyone in them at all, they could easily be autonomous. If they wanted to make contact I'm quite certain they would. Seems obvious to me they have no interest in that. Are we a science experiment? That's a possibility. Perhaps they are planning an intervention! 

 I firmly believe there was a big flood at one point in history, the Biblical record of that is correct. It's quite possible that event was a correction. As we consider "climate change" from our own activities the "climate change" may be the result of other intervention. Our concept of time is based on our trips around the sun. Our galaxy orbits with another galaxy, Andromeda. Everything we know orbits something else in an ever widening orbit. Stands to reason time would be different depending upon what you are orbiting. Our millennium may be a few years to aliens. Remember in the Bible when folks lived for hundreds of years? Depends on how you measure a year. I'm 68 years old, if I counted a month as a year, I'm 816! 

 It will be interesting to hear the testimony from the experts. I do wonder what they will have to say we should do. We have been trying to contact aliens for many years. If they are listening, they aren't answering. Will they one day show themselves? I can't think of any reason they should. If they have mastered travel through space, they have also mastered time. That's my thinking anyway. E=Mc2. (theory of special relativity) The unified theory. That's what Einstein thought, and it has been proven to be correct. So we know that it is technically possibly. We just don't have the tech. Or do we? Could it be we are just spying on ourselves from the future to see what happened? Now that's a theory. Are we searching for confirmation? Were we really that dumb? Biden was elected President? Better go take a look. LOL. Remember to keep your social distance though, and mask up. There are many variants out there.     

escaping reality

When I was growing up the city folks would come out for the weekend. Usually arriving on Friday night and staying until Sunday. A short distance from my house two such families had their "vacation" homes. Well, they were mobile homes, what we commonly called trailers back in the day. Manufactured housing today. We became friends with those folks. How that came to be I couldn't say. They were the Connelys and the Zelinskis. The spelling of their names may be wrong, but I remember them well. Mr. Connely, Jim, was quite a character. A boisterous man that certainly enjoyed life. He drove a Saab, the only one I had ever seen at that time. He loved to build a fire in the yard and cook hamburgers on it. What he did for a living I have no idea but I'll always remember his singing. This must have been the summer of 1965 because he would sing that song, Wooly Bully by Sam the Sham and the pharaohs at the top of his lungs. Looking back I know realize he was usually slightly inebriated. He was, after all, on vacation. 

 Further down the road from the Connely's were the Zelinski's. They had a son named Tim and I would go there to play football with him. Every weekend during the summer months I would go by and see if they were home. They did come most weekends. He had an older brother that didn't bother with us kids, and his parents were rather reserved people. They had other folks that had a trailer across from them that they played cards with. They too, were from the city, although the reality was it was just someplace up island from us, not New York City proper. Still, we thought anyone from up island came from the city. 

 Now I wasn't really aware of this growing up, these folks coming to a vacation spot, like an amusement park to them. That these people drove an hour or more to just come to my town amused me. I did wonder why they came out there. I imagined the city was a stifling place, probably full of crime. They must come to escape all of that. At least that is what I heard the adults say. That these folks came to "party" wasn't in question, it's what they did. I figured they must have a good amount of money, to afford to vacation every weekend! Well, they did own a second home and drove foreign cars. 

 So here it is almost sixty years later and I wonder about those people. The trailers are long since gone of that I'm certain. I left that town nearly fifty years ago myself, my vacation over. Yes, I'd say the majority of my childhood was like a vacation. I had a few odd jobs and worked at the IGA for a while. Later on I worked full time right on Main Street. But reality reared its' head and decisions were made. The vacation was over. I wasn't aware that I was living in the vacation spot, in the amusement park as it were. That a great deal of the economy of that town was dependent upon the tourists I was very much aware. It remains that way to this day. The tourists have all but purchased the entire park now, they certainly control things. One day the vacation for them will be over as well, it's a cycle. Once the transition is complete that is. 

 When the vacation spot is turned into home, a new destination will be desired, to escape. It's just the nature of things. Reality gets boring, reality can become drudgery, we need an escape, a vacation. A place to go that is different, that offers more; or less. I expect those city folks thought they were in the wilderness, and I was just in my backyard. Reality is an illusion, depends on what you choose to believe I suppose.       

The reason why

 I wrote my thoughts about Roe V Wade the other day. Of course, it is still very much in the news and a topic of debate and discussion. The Democrats, lead by Adam Schiff, are going to attempt to codify a legal right to abortions on demand. That effort will certainly fail. The elimination of the filibuster isn't going to happen. The protests will continue and sadly, I feel, only intensify. What the final opinion of the court will be is still speculation. Drafts have a way of changing. What effect will all this have on the Justices? Will it change their opinion? It very well may do just that. Most times, in my opinion, when people are met with criticism or threats they tend to get their backs up! Yeah, that's an old fashioned term but that's what usually happens. They may strengthen their opinion, this may seal the deal, cause the court to strengthen their resolve. That remains to be seen. Any change may be viewed as a weakness, setting a precedent that the court can be swayed by the mob! Any veneer of impartiality will be removed, and that, that isn't a good thing.

 I'm writing this to set down a single point I want to make. I do hope that one day in the future someone will read these blogs through the eyes of history. Only the future will show whether my perceptions are correct. In this case I feel like the court does have to issue an opinion, the correct opinion, that a woman does not have an absolute right to an abortion on demand. Abortion Carte Blanche? No, I don't believe that is a constitutional right guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America. 

 That being said, I do believe that it will be a mistake to just leave all of that up to the individual state legislatures to decide. As I said in my previous blog, creating a house divided. I believe there needs to be national legislation regarding the whole abortion issue. Abortion has always been an option for medical reasons. What needs to be decided are the conditions that justify the procedure. Is a simple, I don't want to have a baby good enough? Can we decide if sonograms or other medical testing determines the baby would be "less than perfect" that justifies termination? Isn't that eugenics? Is eugenics a valid reason? Fewer than 1% of all abortions are performed as a result of rape or incest. It's a startling statistic but according to recent data 96.5% of all abortions are performed for social or economic reasons. In short, either the woman just plain doesn't want to have a baby, or figures it will cost too much. The price is too high!

 Using the current data 3.5% of abortions are performed as a result of the "hard cases." That is to say those instances that may justify the morality of terminating of a life. Our laws delineate the morality of the nation. That may be a rather broad view but it is how I see it. The laws do say what will be allowed and what won't. Some laws fly in the face of traditional morality while others support it. Murder, the taking of an innocent life, especially premeditated, is one of the more heinous crimes one can commit. On the other hand we have justifiable homicide. Are we going to justify the premeditated homicide of 96.5% of babies to satisfy the 3.5% of abortions done under perhaps morally acceptable conditions? 

 Well. I just wanted to write it down. I believe it will be a mistake to simply strike down Roe V Wade and attempt to ignore the ensuing chaos. Whereas I totally support the repeal of Roe V Wade I do believe further action is required. We need to codify the who, what, where, when and why. Simply reasoning that people will do it anyway is not justification! 

Reasons Women Get Abortions [Recently Updated] (hli.org)

good news

 There are times when I feel like an observer. I write these blogs and post my thoughts to the web. But I do feel detached at times, as though I'm just watching it all go by. I have no desire to jump in, becoming an advocate or a protestor. The world will go on around me, regardless of anything I do or say. That isn't said with any meaning other than what it says, it's a statement of fact. I watch and listen. This morning the news was reporting on another "cease fire" weekend in the city of Baltimore. I listened as they call it a success, only four people shot, no one killed. Couldn't help but think about that. Have we really reached a point were having four people shot is a good weekend? A success? I listened as footage of people protesting outside of Supreme Court Justices private homes was being aired. Will the Justices have to live in sequester from now on to ensure their safety? The mob gathering at their doorsteps!

 It must be that other world I heard my parents and grandparents speak of. I often heard them saying that. I have to say it isn't the world I grew up in, I'm beginning to understand. I have watched as the social presence of the country changed. I was never really involved in any of that. I didn't go to Woodstock, grow long hair, and peace out. Yes, I wore a few of the fashions, listened to the popular music at the time as most young folks will do. I wanted to be a part of the crowd. And yes I certainly wanted to enjoy "freedoms" being allowed. Freedoms allowed by my parents, protested by their parents. Then I in turn doing the same. My children doing the same as well. And here we are. 

 They say it's a small world and in certain ways it is, I get that analogy. But I have watched as this world has expanded. The introduction of cable television was the first wave in my estimation. We began seeing things, hearing things, we had never seen or heard before. Then the arrival of the world wide web. I don't think anyone can deny the impact that medium has made on the social fabric of America and the world. It is especially true with the children. When I was growing up my world was small and the availability of outside sources was limited. There were limits on what could be said in public, what could be worn in public and what actions and ideology was to be displayed in public. 

 Today, the blinders are off! Children, very young children are exposed to topics I never heard of until my adult years. Consider the whole gender identity crisis of today. Yes, I call it a crisis. Children in kindergarten should not be exposed to such confusing and indeed, mature topics. Their childhood is being stolen from them for political gain. People are wearing tee shirts, jackets, ball caps and other articles of clothing emblazoned with foul language. It's their right! Flags and bumper stickers the same! No filters, just expressions of anger and frustration. 

 I think the biggest thing I see missing today is a sense of cohesion. Perhaps that comes from growing up in small town America. My town was like a family. In-laws and outlaws, most related to one another in some form or fashion. We had disagreements but at the end of the day we all belonged. Today some look back on that and say it was really segregation. If it was, it was self-imposed in my corner of the world. We simply didn't go where we weren't welcome, nor insist that others accept us. We felt no need to impose our beliefs on others, insisting they accommodate that. Birds of a feather and all that.

 Today I watch and listen as we celebrate every "ethic" group there is. National Asian-American month, Black History Month, Pacific-Islanders, Italians, Polish, Native Americans and the list expanding every day. We even have a month celebrating peoples sexual preferences! We have parades for that! The point being each "celebration" divides and sub-divides all of us. We are in political camps these days, conservatism vs liberalism. The irony in that being, the liberalism of my grandparents generation, being the conservatism of today. 

 Now we have patriots that wear the flag as an article of clothing and that is acceptable, that is a symbol of your pride in America. In my parents day, that would have certainly caused a stir! I know that for a fact, I was there. You are not supposed to even be patriotic these days! Today people are clamoring, insisting they receive "benefits" not assistance from the government. 

 But only four shot this weekend, no homicides, that's progress. That's the good news this morning. 

Mother

  My first Mother's day without Mom. Well, without Mom being on this earth anyway. No phone calls to heaven. There were many years when I wasn't with her in person, life has a way of interrupting things like that, but I always sent a card and tried to make a phone call. It's like an old habit, something you want to do. In this case it wasn't a bad habit just habitual. Now I feel denied and wanting. 

 It's strange how our thoughts change after someone is gone. At least my thoughts change somewhat. Now when I think of my mother, I think of what was. That is what is different. No more real time communication. It's the past. Now I see her as a complete individual, not just as Mom. It seems as though death gives us that ability. We see the whole picture and speculate. Everything wasn't the way we saw it, it was the way we lived it. Now, that life is over. I can talk about her uninhibited by the present time. A life reviewed. 

 Many years after my grandmother had passed away I wrote a sort of synopsis of what I thought her life had been. My mother read that and became very upset with me. Her view was so much different than mine. I was told I had no right to say such things about her mother. That she was my grandmother didn't matter a wit, my mother was incensed. Time passed and that wasn't mentioned again. I still do not understand what the problem was as I feel like I had written the truth. Perhaps it was just my mother's way of holding onto to her mom. I'll never know that answer. 

 Now, just ten days shy of her being gone for a year, I'm thinking about writing a synopsis of her life as well. Only one of her children survive beside myself. I'm not concerned with what his thoughts might be should I do so. The hardest part for me would be her grandchildren and great children. She was never close to any of them. Whatever I write may someday be read by them and it's a responsibility. Being a biographer carries that weight. When the biographer is the son bias will enter the narrative. Can it be otherwise? 

 She lived for ninety one years and a lot happened over that time. I did witness the last sixty seven years of that life. I knew her in the first person. Of her past, her youth, I know very little beyond what I was told. She was twenty four years old when I was born. She had three children prior to me, the first in 1947. Can I really speak to her mind? I think perhaps that is what bothered her when I wrote about my grandmother, I did speculate on how she must have felt about things she never talked about. There are many things I never talked about with my mother. The reason is a simple one, she didn't want to talk about any of that. I get it, we all have things we just don't want to talk about.

 Still, she deserves to be remembered. If I don't write anything down how will anyone in the future know? All that will be remembered is rumor and innuendo. I should tell her story. The responsibility of that is something I am aware of. Perhaps that is a bit pretentious of me, that I should feel that way. My opinions and observations are no more valid or binding than anyone else's. Well, whatever the case may be, whatever I decide to do, I will always love her for being my mom. That will never change. If I had to sun up my mother with a single word I'm thinking it would be restless. I believe she had a restless spirit. Today all I wish for her is rest. May she rest in peace, knowing that she was loved.