artistic expression

  I posted an image of a Jackson Pollock drip painting yesterday and was surprised by the conversation it generated. You see, Jackson Pollock lived in my hometown and is much admired in the art world. I can't say I ever met the man but heard lots of stories about him. They tell me his house/studio is a museum these days. LOl, I guess so, no different than any other famous persons house I suppose. The big attraction I am told is the paint splattered on the floor.
 My comment was, explain how this is art ? I did have one person say you have to have an open mind, to which I responded , or an empty head. I make no excuses for that, I can't see where dripping paint on a canvas in big swirls and crooked lines represents a thing other than dripping paint ! I chuckle at the notion that I need to have some form of advanced intelligence to understand it. The Emperor was pretty smart with his clothes too. I just feel like if you have to explain what it is, you didn't do a very good job. Remember when your kids brought home those drawings to put on the refrigerator door ? I always saw exactly what they were, right after you told me. I believe it is the same thing with these Jackson Pollock paintings and others in that category.
 My Dad told a story about this Pollock guy. Dad was working with John Collins plumbing at the time. He was my Uncle John, nicknamed Grandpa Jelly Beans.  He had married my Mom's sister. Anyway, they were at Jackson Pollock's place doing some plumbing repairs. Dad said he went into the studio to ask the man a question. He stood there for a minute and watched as Jackson Pollock put a brush in a can of paint and began just slinging it around. He was laughing and talking to himself unintelligibly. Dad interrupted him and when he looked Dad knew immediately the man was drunk ! He staggered around a little bit laughing and said to Dad, here's another 100,000 ! Dad got his answer and left the room. Dad loved to tell that story as he thought it was the funniest thing ever. He would always say, damn fools spending there money on that  and the man didn't even know what room he was in. No, Dad wasn't very complimentary to great Jackson Pollock.
 I got thinking about that yesterday and putting a time line together. I just can't remember when all this took place. But Pollock died in 1956 when I was just three. It could be that Dad had him confused with De Kooning who also lived in East Hampton. That Pollock drank heavily was well known, I'm not sure about De Kooning. Well, whatever the case was I had a bedroom floor possibly inspired by one of those guys ! Yes, it's true. When I was young Dad added an upstairs to our home. The " boys' bedroom " which ran the full width of the house was up there. The floor was made of tongue and groove pine. A very common material in those days, cheaper I expect than sheets of plywood. The floor was first painted grey with some deck paint that Dad got at the boatyard. It was a true Navy grey and very durable paint. To add a little color and spark to the room Dad had a plan. He gave each of us kids a small can of paint. Yellow, red, blue and green is what I remember. We each had a stick and dripped it into the can and swirled that paint around to our hearts content. We had a great time as you can imagine. Kids with paint and permission to just drip it all over the floor. That floor was that way in 1971 when I left. Was it inspired by Dad seeing Pollock do the same ? I'd say it was a good possibility. The real shame is that Dad didn't invite Pollock over to help ! How much would that floor be worth today ?
 I posted that picture yesterday because I was thinking about that. How do these people gain fame and fortune from doing strange things. I wonder how they convince other people that this stuff is so great and important. With Pollock the story is that he was very unhappy that people didn't like his regular paintings and portraits. Then started giving them this drip painting stuff, a new breakthrough in artistic expression ! The rich folks thought it was wonderful and spent millions on it. Oh, I have a Pollock ! I'm thinking that is the only reason they buy those crazy things, to impress others. I gotta tell ya, I'm not impressed. Warhol painted a soup can and they bought that too ! I'm still laughing about that one.
 I make no apologies for any of this. If I want a piece of art I want to know exactly what it is just by looking at it. What's important to me is that you will also know, immediately, what it is. I'm not going to have to explain it to you or just say " it's a Pollock " so you can pretend you think it is magnificent too. You will never convince me that I couldn't sling some paint around on a canvas, give it a name and call it art. I'm also convinced if I got Pollock or De Kooning to sign it it would be worth a fortune and no one the wiser. That's my feeling anyway. Yours may differ. I've just never been one to have folks tell me what to like or dislike. One of my favorite pictures is a print I bought at a yard sale. Cost me two dollars with the frame. Better than any drip painting Pollock or De Kooning ever did.
 The bottom line for me is this; just because it cost a lot of money that doesn't make it good. I don't like chamber music either but at least it is music.
      

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. When I was very small I can remember some businesses closing at 3 O'clock and the church bells ringing. Many people stopped whatever they were doing to observe a moment in history that changed the world. I don't recall anyone complaining or being offended, just a quiet respect. Yes, it only lasted a short while, but the acknowledgement was there. It seems like that was such a long time ago but it wasn't really. Sixty years ain't that much. But, it is three generations.
 You can't eat meat on Good Friday. That's a rule. I have never been Catholic but know that stipulation. My wife is a Methodist and insists we not eat meat. I don't know why she feels that way but I certainly honor it. With the meat thing, I can recall there was an alternate choice on the school lunch menu every Friday. That was until the Pope said it was okay. I think that happened back in 1965. I believe there has been more changes since then. If for no other reason it did serve as a reminder. We had a lot of reminders back in those days, today we tend to forget. It is a shift in society in a general way. Yes, back then there was no question we were a Christian nation, the only question was, which kind ? Today there are many that profess no Christian ties at all, and there are many new " kinds " as well. Seems like if you don't like what this Church is preaching, start your own. And please, don't get me started with these Mega-Churches.
 This is all tied into my thinking about religion in general. I've written about it before and likely will again. The question for me is do you go to church as a celebrant or a supplicant ? Me, I tend to be on the supplicant side of the aisle. I've saving the celebration for when I get the reward. In the meantime I think I had best be humble, ask for forgiveness and understanding, and behave myself ! You see I do believe your choice of denomination doesn't really matter as long as you hold the belief. The way you choose to express that belief is an individual thing. So, I'm not saying one way is better than another, just noticing the differences. You see I was taught to address him as God the Father. I was also taught how to address my father. Hey, there is even a commandment about that. Now I wouldn't go to my father, calling him by his first name and making demands. I also wouldn't go to him full of expectations. I really am at his mercy. I was a child then and remain a child of God. I never got very far telling my Father how much I loved him, or telling him how great he was. No, my father had a tendency to judge me based on the actions I took.
 That may be the reason we are seeing some of the things taking place today, Perhaps the children aren't being taught the proper respect for the father. Well, we know many today don't have a father !I was taught to fear God and my father ! A fear born out of respect. I'm thinking we need to bring back some of those reminders we have abandoned in favor of convenience and profits. All I hear these days is , don't judge. Well the deal is you will be judged and you had best be prepared for that. I was taught that lesson. I was judged on my words and my actions. Back then we called it parenting. Mom and Dad let you know if you were right or wrong, and judgement was immediate and, for the most part, final. To have a conviction overturned required some pretty substantial evidence.
 But today is Good Friday and I will pause at three. I'm betting Walmart won't close there doors, even for a minute. Will any business ? What is sadder still is so many will close their hearts to the message. A solemn day indeed. I have always wondered why it was called Good Friday. Good for us ! That's the only reason I can think of.
 

progress

 I was sitting with the wife watching the morning news and just enjoying the morning. A bit of a change in routine. The news stories were running in the background. One catches my attention about a person dying from using a consumer product. A family member is on the television being interviewed and is naturally distraught. This family member is questioning why this product, that can kill you, is even being sold. Now I can empathize with the way he is feeling and it is a tragic thing. The thing is, the product was clearly marked with all the appropriate warnings and directions for usage. The person failed to follow the directions and the worst case scenario happened. The issue being discussed is , is it the fault of the product or the user ?
 I know I lack empathy and understanding but I can't fault the manufacturer. If all the appropriate warnings are clearly printed on the product it is incumbent upon the user to read and follow the directions. I can understand the family member feeling otherwise. To me all this speaks to accountability, something we seem to be trying to eliminate from society except on a corporate level. Individuals are not accountable, it is someone else's fault. The manufacturer shouldn't have made the product. The retailer shouldn't have sold the product. The product itself was responsible ! Everything but a failure of the user to read and follow the directions ! This is followed by a call for more regulations ! The government needs to do more to protect the consumers because the consumers are failing to protect themselves.
 That story was followed by a study conducted by Harvard professors that Facebook is manipulating me ! That's right, Facebook is using my profile data to determine my likes and dislikes. I'm being profiled from my profile ! Imagine that. I fill in the blanks, you read what I wrote and then decide this is what I like or don't like based on that profile ! Then postings show up on my timeline attempting to influence me. Well just how outrageous is that ? You are using information I provided to further your cause or sell your product. Facebook is responsible for that. Facebook created the profile page, what was I supposed to do, lie ? C'mon no one would post false information on their profile page. Funny thing though, at least with me, all you would have to do is ask. If I don't want you to know my opinion I won't tell you. The solution offered by the Harvard professor : educate yourself ! That's right, educate yourself that a profile page reveals your profile ! But, keep in mind that profiling people is illegal ! Having a profile page isn't, but don't profile anyone from it. If you do though it won't be your fault,  Facebook is manipulating you ! Sue Facebook, drag Zuckerberg before congress and demand an explanation !
 In the last story I listened to, it was Trumps fault. All of this is Trumps fault. He probably won't do anything about the sale of that product or something to prevent you from being manipulated. In fact, Trump is manipulating the entire country ! Someone, not you or I, needs to be held accountable. Government intervention is obviously the only way to solve these issues. What do you expect, people to read and follow directions, obey the law when it is inconvenient to do so ? Do you really expect me to accept no as an answer ? Do you really expect me to say, it's my own fault ? How ridiculous is that ? You know I knew someone that just went right out and bought a car. Drove that car into a tree and went flying through the windshield. Whose fault was that ? The car manufacturer. They didn't put a seat belt in there. Luckily the government intervened and had them install seat belts and a five mile per our impact front bumper ! That helped for a while, then we got air bags. Now, the cars are driving themselves and only running other people over, but I'm safe. Ah, progress. When you can just blame everything on someone else, that's progress.  

tough guy

 Well, you just never know do you ? There I was going merrily along and just like that, a heart attack. Following two days of discomfort my wife talks me into going to the emergency room. They take an EKG and everyone starts to freak out. They inform me I am having a heart attack ! Huh, I didn't think it was that bad but next thing you know I'm signing a consent form. I'm wheeled in what they call the " cath " room and the procedure begins. I have to say I was wide awake the whole time and it was certainly an embarrassing situation ! Not much I could do about though, so I told a few of my corny jokes. When they told me the right side of my heart was being affected I said, guess it is a half hearted attempt ! LOL, They said they hadn't heard that one before. I'm betting they have but was humoring me along. I'd have done the same if the table was reversed. But, I was then taken to the ICU and monitored for two days. And that is pretty much what happened. Nothing overly dramatic. It is what it is, or least what it was, we'll have to wait and see about tomorrow.

 The number of inquiries about me on social media was a bit overwhelming. I have to admit it is touching. I felt a bit like Sally Field giving her famous " they like me " speech. Well, it was surprising how many are paying attention. My wife even received a comforting message. That meant a lot to me, and to her. I mean, how thoughtful was that ? I have a wonderful group of friends that much is certain. 

 Now I can't see a whole lot of changes taking place. Yes, I'll have to modify my diet a bit and get some more exercise. From all accounts having a stent isn't a big deal. Just one of those things I guess. I am fortunate to be living in a time when they know about such things and the procedure has been perfected. It's a piece of cake. I won't be wearing any ribbons or claiming survivor status either. I'm grateful for everything that was done on my behalf. I'm especially grateful for the " love " I felt from all my friends. And I'm not one to go around saying " love " a lot. That's not very macho ! I have a rep you know, tough guy, that's me.

two sides to history

 I become passionate about certain subjects. I've been known to get carried away at times. There are some that say I'd be a good case for the head doctors ! I laugh about that because I don't put much stock in what they have to say. I don't believe you can learn human nature by going to school. There are folks that have a knack for that sort of thing and others that don't. Mostly, I believe it is just common sense and a logical approach that will get you through. I had a neighbor that used the expression " off your nut " when she thought you weren't quite thinking straight. But I'm getting off topic here. I was thinking about my writing on certain subjects. I do get passionate and forget that there are two sides to history. What was,  was not always what I saw.
 I was reminded of that yesterday. I had made a comment about the sport fishing folks destroying the commercial fisherman. It is a topic that I get upset about. Now I was never a commercial fisherman myself but knew a few. The salt of the earth those folks, hard working and good honest folks. I heard their side of the story and little else. The other side of history was like a black hole to me. The sport fishermen were just out for a good time weren't they ? That's my feeling about it and why should they impact a man trying to make a living ? Yes, the Captains of those boats were making a living too, I understood that, but it seemed like they were getting favored status in that regard. Rich folks and corporations were lobbying the legislature on their behalf. The poor fisherman didn't have any fancy lawyers or representatives. There needs were just set aside in favor of the sport fishing industry. And it was the industry that was being protected, not necessarily the owner/operators of those charter boats. They were just a necessary part of business, little else.
 I also heard the tales of regulations being imposed that severely impacted the industry. I heard about the large outfits that had fleets of boats to compete against the family crews. I was aware even then , that a way of life was disappearing. Progress was rolling over the old ways, there was money to be made and nothing would stand in the way of that. Tourists and tourism is where the big money was. It was a business getting out of hand. A business that would eventually destroy the very thing that attracted folks there in the first place. It has ever been so, and to rail against that is to spit in the wind. The folks with money willing to spend it to gain more money. Those without money left to fall by the wayside. With luck those still surviving will become an attraction themselves. Like those reenactors at the amusement park. Eventually being paid to ply the trade not for profit, but as an amusement for others.
 All that is one side of history. The other side of the story I've never heard because no one wants to tell that. There are no interesting characters in that history. There are lawyers, courts and corporate interests. There is no emotion to that, just cold hard truths. Corporations hiring " experts " to testify in the court because of their " degrees " not their knowledge. The only story to tell from all of that would be how greed won out in the end. And the story there is all about " progress. " That is what the final explanation always will be. It's progress.
 Progress is always good. right ? Isn't that what we are taught ? Man has struggled to make progress since the beginning. But what is the goal ? In the end, when we reach the most advanced stage of all, what will we have achieved ? We began with the ideal situation. We were living in the garden of Eden. The Devil told Eve that she and Adam could be as Gods if they knew what God knew, and that is what you could learn by eating that fruit ! What they learned was they were naked and afraid. Man has tried to make progress ever since. The goal ? To get back where we started. That would be real progress now wouldn't it ? I hoping there is another side to history and I'm hoping to see that one day. Wouldn't that be heaven ?  
  

belonging to time

 There is a small bridge in Greensboro, Maryland that crosses the Choptank river. As is often the case this isn't the first bridge on that spot. The one there now was constructed in 1995, it says so on the pillars. I drive over this bridge often to reach a major road that will lead you into Delaware or the town of Denton. You can gain access to Route 404 from this highway and 404 is the main artery. I noticed that date yesterday, 1995, and thought I remember when that was built. It'll be twenty three years ago this fall. I thought then, an entire generation only knows this one bridge. I wasn't born here but remember the old bridge. Somehow, that is a comfort, knowing that. I guess it all ties in with a sense of belonging. We all want to belong somewhere I think. We all question our existence on this earth and most identify with the place of their birth. It is, after all, where we first arrived. A familiar place. Even when our childhood memories are in a different location  most of us will say where we were born. My own sister is an example of that. She grew up in East Hampton, New York but was born in Florida ! If asked, that is the answer see always provided.
 I think for many of us that sense of belonging never fully roots anywhere else. I'll always be from Long Island. Some will ask , where is Long Island and I'll say New York state. Then, they will assume I lived in New York city. It's a joke but many seem to believe that is all there is to New York, the city. I chuckled when I first saw the " motto " for the town of Greensboro. It says, " The City " and I thought I've never lived in the City before. A rural farming town,  population about 1882 a couple years ago, it is quite the contrast with the " City. " Perhaps it is a city to these folks although the county seat is just a few miles up the road, Denton Maryland population 4388 ! There official motto is, The Garden of America. " A grand claim. But I live in the " city " of Greensboro now and have for close to thirty years. I've gotten a sense of familiarity, if not belonging. My son is a town commissioner and has been for a while now. Born in Baltimore, his feeling is he belongs to Greensboro. Greensboro is his home.
 Do I feel like I belong to Greensboro ? The honest answer is no, I do not. Greensboro isn't my home, I don't share a heritage with this town. Do I feel comfortable in this town ? Absolutely and it is a fine town to live in. I have made an effort to assimilate to the town. Fact is, it isn't that difficult as Greensboro isn't that much different than where I grew up. Greensboro has farmers, East Hampton had watermen. There are watermen here too, they are concentrated closer to the water, obviously,  but no more than twenty miles or so from Greensboro. East Hampton and the surrounding areas had farmers too, mostly potato farmers and so that lifestyle wasn't unknown to me. There are other similarities as well. The farmland here is being sold to developers just like the farms back on Long Island. Greensboro will obtain suburban status eventually. Give it another few decades. It is all the people that work in the metropolitan areas that want to live in the country ! Well, as long as the country includes all the amenities of the larger towns and cities that is. The same story, different location.
 I can't help but feel if I try to make any other claim it would be akin to cultural appropriation. Yes, we hear that a lot these days don't we ? Heritage it is often called. Heritage by definition is inherited, it isn't claimed. I can no more make claim to being a Greensboroite than I can claim a different ethnicity ! Could I fool some people ? Probably so, but to what end ? What could I gain by such a deceit ? Acceptance is the short answer. Funny thing is the only ones being fooled would be those that aren't native to the town anyway. You can't fake that stuff for very long. There are the old names and old places to deal with. Fact is I could go back to my hometown and talk with the generations that have followed mine and they would doubt my nativity. That would be because I wouldn't remember the things they do, simply because I have not lived there in over 45 years. That's two and a half generations ago !
 I can't help but wonder. What if we stayed in our hometowns ? It appears that each succeeding generation has moved out. The American dream is independence. That is what we are taught. Get out there in the world and get your own. That fierce independence that made America, America ! Has the American dream stretched the fabric of the nation to its' breaking point ? Is that a contributing factor to what we are seeing today ? Are we losing that sense of belonging ?
 It began with our neighborhoods. When our neighborhoods began to fill up with strangers, we began to shutter ourselves. It spread to the town. Soon the residents of the town didn't think or themselves as a town, they belonged to a development or sub-division based on economics. No different than the concept of, what side of the tracks do you live on ? It has progressed from there. Has our country filled up with strangers ? Yes, there are strangers that refuse to join the community. Those that cling to their previous " home " in your backyard. When you do not have attachments, abandoning the past is easy. Have we become disassociated with what America really is ? Traditions become just quaint memories. What was once important, is an amusement. Just leave it all behind. For some it is far easier to just quit, call it a day, and begin new. That's the easier path. Continued maintenance is costly and difficult.
 We live in a throw away society now. Throw out the " old " concepts of morality, ethics and accountability. Certainly those men that wrote those founding documents almost 250 years ago couldn't have known what would happen. Those ideas are outdated. Imagine men that didn't feel like they had all the answers, calling on God for guidance. Well, we know it all now ! Take this gun issue for instance. Just take away all the guns and no one gets shot ! See how simple that is. All we need to do is trust the ones with the guns not to shoot us. How foolish was it of James Monroe, Madison, Jefferson and others to think your own government might use guns to rule ! C'mon, we elect these guys. Yup, we sure have learned a lot. The new order  will be the old order, just without a King or Dictator. That's much better.
 Each generation belongs to a time. No one wishes to see their time gone. In what can only be viewed as irony we are forced to watch it leave. No matter how much we protest, no matter how much we complain, we see it go. But for the wise, it is also a comfort. Time is eternal and will go on. This too shall pass. That isn't to say we should allow it to go quietly. Acceptance is not capitulation. Truth is eternal as well.   

a finality

 Mysteries are memories lost in time. If we learn to travel in time can we then find those memories ? I suppose we will, if we find the carrier of that memory. But, I wonder if they will remember ? I'm living and I forget things already, can I be expected to remember forever ? I do think we remember the things that hold some importance to us, not so much what was important to others. That's just human nature. But what of those mysteries that were purposely hidden for whatever reason ? Will those memories be released in time ? What I mean is, will we tell what we were unwilling to tell when we were here on this earth ?
 I guess if we learn to travel in time we can just travel to the time we want to know about and witness it for ourselves.  Still, if that person was hiding something then, a mystery, it would still be mysterious wouldn't it ? I'm talking about time travel, not mind reading. Of course we could collect clues to solve the mystery. We could become detectives in the past attempting to discover the future ! Hmm, I don't know,  I've waited too long to ask Stephen Hawking about this. I always seem to be a little late, or is that a function of time as well ? Am I lingering in the past ? Maybe I can travel in time but that is as far as I can go, just a few minutes. It is all very mysterious. I have unsolved mysteries about myself ! Just why did I do that ?
 It seems the longer I am around the more mysterious life becomes. At least there are a whole lot more questions I want the answer to. I haven't discovered anything that has changed my thinking in a fundamental way, no big clue. I do believe being here is only for a short time,  but it is not the end of time when I leave. I also believe my soul, the energy that created me, will continue on. I think it may be disbursed among those that remain here. I am counting on others to keep me " alive " for succeeding generations. I am writing these blogs and such as an insurance policy. A just in case you forget about me sort of thing. But, I will not write it all, there will be mysteries left. That is because I believe there are private moments, private memories, best left between you and your God. You can explain later on, I hope.
 Death is a mystery unsolved. We believe we have some answers. I don't believe we will ever fully understand it, not when we are here anyway. Will we receive an explanation later on ? I don't believe God, or whatever you conceive that entity to be, owes an explanation. Perhaps we will receive that information as a gift. Or is life the gift ? Gifts should be accepted with gratitude, not demands. The task is to be worthy of the gift. Is that the meaning of life ? Could be, it's a mystery though. It is something I like to think about. I am in no hurry to know the answer, preferring to take my time and ponder all the possibilities. There will come a day when I can't take whatever answer I give back. It is going to be a finality. Or is it ?  

accepting the truth

 We talk of time in decades and generations. A generation is generally considered to be two decades. I think it is about four decades before a generation really begins to take control of the politics. In our teens we begin to rebel, and in our twenties and thirties seek power and control.  When he was 24 Benjamin Franklin began publishing Poor Richards Almanac. It was a form of rebellion against traditional life in his day. It was, as you know, a best seller. It contained , among many other things, words of advice. Many off those sayings we repeat to this day not even aware that it was Franklin that first wrote them down. We assume he composed them, although he may have just written down what he heard from others, editing them a bit, to make them sound more Franklin. That Franklin was a man of intelligence, wit, and a keen observer of the world can not be denied. Scientist, statesman and inventor. Also a man not without his vices.
 In 1738 Franklin wrote " If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing. " That was from Poor Richards Almanac. If Franklin were to write an almanac today an appropriate title would have to be The Poor Me Almanac. I say that because that is what I hear an awful lot of people saying. The general attitude is " poor me " I need help with everything. I can't eat, sleep, drink, or function in the world in general without help, counseling, financial aid and being somehow empowered ! It is not a result of any of my choices,  I am the victim. Poor Me. I was born with a disadvantage and life is such a struggle !
 Poor Richard was intended to provide helpful advice and guidance. It was to share insights to human behavior and provide useful information. It was intended to be something worth reading. It was also something that would hopefully inspire others to do something worth writing about. The Poor Me Almanac has only one purpose, to reinforce feelings you have about perceived injustices in the world. Really an extension of the concept of better living through chemistry and entitlement. If you can't take a drug to resolve the issue you are entitled to aid in some other form. The golden ticket is to make an entire string of bad choices and then " recover " from them. And by " recover " I mean admit that you did something wrong. You don't have to  actually take accountability for those actions or choices, just admit to them and be the victim ! Oh, Poor Me, I took drugs and became addicted. It is the fault of the prescribing physician or the drug manufacturer. Poor Me, I have been a victim. I have chosen a lifestyle in total contrast to the society in which I live, now I'm facing discrimination ! Poor Me, I just want to have my entire face tattooed, wear dreadlocks and sagging pants. Now I can't get a job, Poor Me. Poor Me, I didn't inherit millions of dollars, I have to work for my money, that's not fair. This person makes more money than I do, poor me. I was born a male but want to be female, poor me ! And it goes on and on, Poor Me.
 Franklin also wrote , " would you live with ease, do what you ought, not what you please. " I'd say that is the opposite of what we hear today. The problem being, it is common sense advice. It is a call for self accountability. Do what you ought. It does speak to ethics. It concerns virtue. Old Ben pointed out. " he is ill clothed, who is bare of virtue. "  Being virtuous requires no money, no fame, no advantage ! It does require an acceptance of truth, even when that truth is uncomfortable.   

embracing tradition

 I'm not sure if it is a wanting to belong,  or the desire to control but I'm thinking it is a little bit of both. I'm thinking about this concept of appropriation that is sweeping our society. Oh, many are calling it heritage but it is really just an appropriation. It has become almost a fad. The truth is people are grasping onto this " heritage " notion as a tool. It is a way to gain an advantage over others. Let's turn that minus into a plus ! Even when we are the ones that created the negative connotation in the first place. The first step is identifying yourself as a native. Doesn't really matter what nativity you claim, as long as you claim native status in the proper neighborhood. Take Elizabeth Warren as an example. She makes claim to being a native American because she lives in America, wanted people to think of her as a " true " American and it provided a bonus. She got a lucrative teaching job and enjoyed favored status by virtue of that claim. That's how that works. It is something that permeates our society today, these claims of heritage.
 You could argue it is just a wanting to belong. I just want to fit in. I identify with a certain group or groups and in so doing gain acceptance. Yes, my mothers, brothers, son married a second cousin of my grandmother on my fathers side ! Therefore I am a member of this family. Acceptance however is also the first step to gaining control, or if not outright control, influence. Influence exerted by a perceived right. My ancestors where here before yours,  I've lived here longer than you,  and I've got more money than you are often what these claims are based on. Notice how the claims become more tenuous as they progress.
 Generations past immigrated to America to become Americans. That was the intended purpose. And for generations folks claimed that as their heritage. I still do. I am an American. I'm not a European-American, I'm an American. I have ancestors that immigrated to America. I also have the papers showing where they became Americans ! Yes, their naturalization and immigration papers clearly show that status and they were very proud to be able to say, I am an American ! Whatever they achieved beyond that, they achieved as Americans, not because of some program granting favored status. They had that desire to belong. They wanted to belong to this country and pursue their dreams. What is the American dream ? To have the ability to pursue your own dreams unencumbered by government. That is freedom. The freedom to act on your own behalf without interference.
 Now I'm seeing a shift. Now I'm seeing the desire to control take the drivers seat. In order to do that you must first establish a claim. That claim must align you with a group or program that is favorable to you. So, we began to base our claims on past injustices, whether real or perceived. No matter those injustices occurred several generations back, the claim being I should reap the benefits. Well, after all those folks are dead,  right ? That means I should get whatever MAY have been theirs, and whatever dreams they MAY have had should be granted to me. It's a birthright. No matter how distant that claim may be, all I need to do is claim it. Good old Elizabeth claims a 1/32 lineage to her Native American ancestors. I'd call that a tenuous connection at best. There is no advantage to being a European American and so you never hear that one. Other races, other cultures, and indeed other religious groups make various claims to gain favor and exert influence.
 Yes other races, other cultures and other religious groups have contributed to the making of America. What is being forgotten is that America is the great melting pot. We melt things together to do what ? To create an alloy, a combination of various materials to create a new material. That new material is an American ! The superiority or inferiority of the individual components is not the concern, the finished product is what matters. But we have neglected that process, that smelting, by the granting of favored status. No need for you to change, to adapt or to assimilate. An imbalance has been created. There are far more wishing to reap the benefits that willing to contribute. The contributions of the past will not sustain the needs of the future. America is going bankrupt ! The bankruptcy is a moral and ethical decay. Too many taking , not enough contributing. Being or becoming an American is a privilege, not a right. Far too many not understanding that. Most disconcerting to me are the Native born Americas that don't understand or acknowledge that privilege. The ones willingly bestowing that privilege on others and claiming it as some sort of right ! The ones failing to realize the significance of that. Yes, America has traditionally been viewed as the land of milk and honey. Thing is, you have to raise the cow and then milk it.  And honey, honey is made by the hard work of thousands contributing to a singular purpose ! You can't just give either one away and expect it to continue forever. The cow will dry up and the honey stop being produced when thousands fail to contribute.
 When claiming heritage, we are claiming a cultural tradition. Shouldn't that tradition be one of hard work and moral behaviors ? If you are claiming a heritage and then displaying other qualities, ones less desirable, are you not then dishonoring your heritage ? If you really want to practice those cultural traditions as you perceive them to be, shouldn't you do that in the society those traditions originated from ? After all, there those traditions will be accepted as normal and indeed virtuous. Why wouldn't you want to be there ? Why come to America, where our heritage is one of hard work and independence ? Why come here and make demands ? Why make claims to a heritage in a land with a different heritage ? Isn't that like demanding a hat in a shoe store ? You're in the wrong place. If you want to be an American you must embrace the American tradition. Yes, it takes a sacrifice. If you are not willing to do that, stay right where you are.  

fulfilling expectations

 I was thinking about my fathers generation, the way they were in general. They have been called the greatest generation and it is a moniker well earned. Surely it has to be a result of attitude. We may call it an outlook or philosophy but I believe it was just a way of thinking. One of the earliest quotes I remember hearing was, " I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we should find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. " I'm certain you have all heard that one and it has been attributed to several people, Bruce Lee among them. But I am not concerned with exactly who said that, but rather what they were saying. I believe it to be a fundamentally different philosophy. It is a philosophy of arrogance. My fathers generation, the greatest generation was aware of expectations and honored those expectations to the best of their ability. They did so at personal expense and sacrifice. The obligation to meet social expectations was self imposed and self enforced. That to me, is the fundamental difference between them and succeeding generations. And yes, I am including the " baby boomers " , my generation. We did grow up in a prosperous time as children and in our teen years " political awareness " influenced our thinking. Many became convinced they owed no debt to the nation and shirked that responsibilty. Many used that very quote to defend that position, I am not in this world to live up to your expectations but what was meant was, I will not honor those expectations ! I will not fulfill that obligation or expectation. I will dismiss that precept altogether. I am I. I am different and don't have to do anything I don't want to. The seed was planted.
 Liberation ? That term was thrown around a lot back in those days to describe various ideologies. It wasn't a liberation however, it was a deceit. We began to deceive ourselves about expectations and obligations. The golden rule says do unto others as you would have others do unto you and with that comes an obligation. It does have expectation attached to it. I'm expecting you to uphold your end of the bargain. The only thing liberating about this dismissal of obligation was dismissing the idea of expectation. The reality is, I am obligated to fulfill certain social expectations ! Those social obligations are determined by the society in which we live. The society of my youth, controlled then by the greatest generation was one of obligation. It truly was God and country , in that order. The morality was controlled by the words in the Bible and you did have a very real obligation to your country. At the very least, a proper respect for elected officials and the flag ! That was until some decided they truly were not in this world to live up to any expectations. They began to trample upon traditional morality and ethics creating a new society. A society of self.
 Now I won't dispute the validity of that simple statement. I am not here to fulfill your expectations, that is something you have to do for yourself. It is the manner in which you do that that becomes the question. Does that mean you owe nothing to anyone ? Are you free from all obligation ? It is my thinking one would have to be truly self centered and selfish to adopt any such policy. I do have obligations even when they are self imposed. If I owe a debt to no one but myself, the debt is still valid. When you begin to dismiss, excuse or ignore that debt you will suffer. A society without self imposed obligations, expectations and standards can not long survive. If we depend upon government to meet our expectations, with no obligation on your part to recognize those obligations, we will live in a constant state of chaos. The individual needs to be aware of the whole ! It is that simple. It isn't about you, your expectations, or mine. When we return to working together, for the whole, and not the individual we will have recovered that founding spirit. A spirit of understanding, sacrifice and yes, fulfilling expectations. 

the dialouge

 I was reminded yesterday of an old story my mother told me. You see there was this lady of color that lived just down the road from our house. Mom knew her in a casual sort of way and would greet her whenever they met. This being in the late 1950's many people still walked to work and in our town there certainly wasn't any bus service. This lady walked past the end of our road on her way uptown. She was domestic help for the Gardiner family that lived on Main Street, just past the flagpole. It was a walk of considerable distance. Occasionally someone would stop and offer her a ride. She didn't always accept it, being a proud woman and independent. There may have been more to it,  but no one talked about any of that back in those days. Anyway, she was amicable enough by all accounts and liked by the community.
 Now just around the corner from my house was soak hide road. It is just a short connecting road from one main highway to another, at least what we thought of as main highways. In my day it was a two way street. I understand it has been made a way one these days. Mr. Nathan Collum lived on soak hide. His son Barry was born on the same day and year as I was. Yes, we were childhood friends, although we had different interests as we grew older. Still I knew Mr. Collum as a kind and gentle soul. He was usually working and I didn't see him much but he always seemed to me a timid sort of fellow. I say timid, but I really mean cautious. He was known for driving rather slowly wherever he went and had a curious habit of swinging wide on the turns. My father explained to me that Nate, as he was called, had learned to drive with a model A ford. On those old cars you had to swing wide when turning to avoid wheel chatter. The steering geometry hadn't been fully developed on those cars. Nate still swung wide although he was now driving a Chevy Impala. A 1965 if I remember correctly. It was blue.
 There came a day when Nate stopped and offered a ride to that lady I was talking about in the first paragraph. I regret that her name has escaped me. Evidently she accepted because my Mom saw her getting out of his car. When she asked this lady about it one day the lady replied with, yes maam, Nate gave me a ride to work the other day and it was sure nice of him. Mom asked her how it was, riding with Nate. She says, oh it took some time to get up the road I can tell you that, fact is I said the pledge of allegiance three times as we passed the flagpole.
 Well that story has been told and retold in my family for fifty years or more. It is probably not that funny to others that don't really know all the characters in the story. Everyone has stories like that. I expect playwrights and screenwriters collect those stories to use in their works. Those little incidences in life that strike a chord. We repeat them so often we only need to say the punchline. Part of what makes them funny is remembering what the person sounded like. I didn't personally hear that lady say those words but know the sound of her voice. I can hear the tone and inflection. And so in my family if someone is slow we may say, I said the pledge of allegiance three times as I passed the flagpole. The rest of the story is unimportant.
 There are other stories and phrases that we use unconsciously. They are the things we have heard our parents, siblings and friends say. They may be descriptions or anecdotes. They can range from a single word to a tall tale. I think of them as the dialogue of our life. Those expressions, thoughts and conclusions we have gathered over the years being shared. To live is to add to the conversation not just repeat the dialogue. What stories may be told of me I couldn't say. No matter, as long as you are remembered. You are who you choose to become. It's nothing to take too seriously. Life is far too short for that. 

Sermonizing

 Not everything is right. Yes, it's true, not everything is right. There are things in this word that are just plain wrong and you have to understand that. Even when those things may bring pleasure, they may be wrong. Even when those things hurt no one but yourself that doesn't change a simple fact, they are wrong. No matter how many people may enjoy something, it can be wrong. In the Christian tradition we call it sin. There are as many definitions of sin as there are sins. To me sin is anything you do contrary to God's law and God's law is natural law. The same natural law our founding fathers spoke about. There has been much discussion about that, God and the Constitution. I often hear an argument that Jefferson and others identified themselves as Deists. My response to that is always the same, Okay, so what is wrong with that ? Deists recognize that there is a creator. They only reject the idea of revelation and authority, not that God doesn't  exist. They rely upon reason and observation of the natural world to draw the conclusion a single creator is responsible for the earth. In short they observed that in order to have intelligent order in the universe you would have to have had intelligent design. This world didn't happen by accident. They wrote life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as natural law, law that requires no one to write it down. It was understood and accepted that people knew this as an inherent part of their being. The best example is that a child loves by instinct and only rejects others when taught to do so. Children understand the natural order of things before they can even speak !

 When we start to "openly " practice behaviors that were previously kept hidden it is for a simple reason. That action is an attempt to gain acceptance for behaviors we know to be wrong. That is why we kept those behaviors hidden in the first place. Putting those behaviors on parade will not change the natural law from being violated even when a society accepts those behaviors. Consider the Inca's and human sacrifice. That was certainly practiced openly, accepted as a religious expression but it was never right. We look at it with horror today but then it was everyday stuff. In our religious texts we may read that a certain act is an abomination unto the lord.  What does that mean ? Some synonyms are, disgust, hatred, aversion, torment and atrocity. These abomination are always generated by their acceptance in society. They are allowed, accepted and taught. It is man that fails to follow the natural law, the natural order of the universe and acts in opposition. When man starts to write law in opposition to natural law, chaos will always be the end result.

 It is all connected to one word, Obiedenance. Christians call it original sin. When Adam ate the fruit of the tree of good and evil that first sin was committed. It is my thinking that what was learned from eating that fruit was evil. Adam and Eve were made aware of evil, as a choice. Before that they just acted in accordance with natural law. The Bible doesn't tell us how long that was though. But Eve was deceived by Satan. How was she deceived ? She was given false information and convinced of it's validity. A false promise and we hear a lot of those these days. In short she disobeyed the law of God. She did so believing it would be to her benefit, she herself would become as God if she knew all good and evil. What she learned was that she had sinned. And now mankind was saddled with that knowledge forever. Yes, we learned that we had a choice, whereas prior to that knowledge we just did what came naturally. We learned that we could choose in defiance of God and those natural laws for short term gain. And man is a weak creature, prone to taking those shortcuts. Man has attempted to justify that choice ever since.

 Central to the concept of Obiedenance is punishment and reward. If we are obedient will we be rewarded ? If we are disobedient will we be punished ? Yes and yes. I believe our reward will come in the afterlife and also our punishment. Man has been punished for that original sin since the beginning. We could have lived a life of simple existence having all our needs fulfilled by a loving God but for one simple choice, and we couldn't resist that temptation. As punishment we were made aware of good and evil. We were made aware of that choice. Now man must live with that knowledge as a burden. We can not overrule that " law " no matter how many laws we write. Man's punishment is the deception we practice. Man continues to deceive himself about the nature of sin, of wrongdoing and the consequences. There is right and wrong !

 There are those that wish to replace God with Government. A complete reversal of the natural order. It is God, the creator, that is the final judge off right and wrong. That is exactly why we are a government of the people, by the people. James Monroe, a professed deist incidentally, wrote, " to suppose any form of government will secure liberty and happiness without any virtue in the people is a chimerical idea. " What was he saying there ? He was saying it is up to man to make himself happy, that government can't fulfill that. There must be virtue in the people. Moral excellence is virtue. And I had to look up chimerical, a word I wasn't familiar with. It means something hoped for but impossible to achieve or an illusion. 

 It troubles me to see our moral foundation being chipped away. That is exactly what the Constitution and Bill of Rights established, our moral foundation. Both are under attack from all sides. Most troubling is the Christians that are joining in the fight to destroy natural morality and ethics, choosing to act in opposition for political gain or perceived superior values. The arrogance of man amazes me. I think that realization may have something to do with aging. I remember when I was 19 and knew it all ! Now, I see the arrogance of youth, the foolishness of it all. Troubling indeed to see the church in full support of what the Bible tells us is an abomination unto the lord. They are spelled out fairly clearly.  haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person that stirs up conflict in the community. Each one a contradiction to natural law. 

 Well that is my sermon for this Sunday morning. 

writing out loud

  I have been thinking about something lately, that something is the writing of a book. You folks that read my stuff regular know I have been considering this possibility and that I even started it. I haven't done much with it lately, I have allowed it to just sit and simmer. Really what is simmering is my thoughts. I began with thinking it would just be a collection of my thoughts. I thought it might be an explanation of life more than anything else. A book filled with sage advice and wise sayings. A chronicle of sorts. At one time I even began to think it of it as an epistle ! But then to whom was I writing ? You can't write an epistle to the past, it has to be for the present or future generations. I can only speak of the past, sharing my observations and conclusions. And so I am left with a question, to what end ? I'm working on the answer to that one.
 When I began looking into the publication of this book, the one I haven't written, I discovered just how difficult a proposition that can be. So, I looked into self publishing. At first I balked at that idea. It just seems a bit self serving, bordering upon conceit. I questioned whether you could even call yourself an author if you paid to have it published. Wouldn't that be a bit of deceit ? If you see a book on a shelf, professionally bound, wouldn't you think it was published ? That is was written by a professional writer ? Then I began to think if you publish this book as a gift, expecting no monetary gain from it, it is really a benevolent act on your behalf. But, that sounded even more conceited than before. Still I like that idea, the idea my words are nothing more than a gift being shared. Sure, I'd be hoping someone would be interested enough to purchase a copy,  but then how can I rationalize you paying for your own gift ? It is a bit of a quandary. It is a lesson in ethics. My conclusion at this time is that any book I should pay to have published, or more properly,  printed, would be a vanity. The only question left is,  am I allowed such vanity ? John Calvin wrote, " the human heart has so many holes were falsehood lurks, it is so decked out with deceiving hypocrisy, that it often dupes itself. " Am I attempting to deceive myself ? These are some of my thoughts about all of this. Perhaps, I'm overthinking it. That is a habit of mine and at times, a fault.
 We have all heard the expression physician heal thyself. The general idea being a physician should be able to diagnosis and treat his own ailments. This proverb was used by Jesus in the Bible. His lesson was really, and why not me ? That was in response to those saying they knew Jesus since he was a child, his father was a carpenter and so how could he be the messiah ? I try to " heal " myself at times. That is what all this thinking is about. I'm no author, no writer, but should that preclude me from being one ? In the Bible story about Jesus using this proverb it ends with the crowd wanting to kill him ! Why did they want to kill him ? It was because of the words he spoke and he wouldn't perform miracles on demand, as proof of his legitimacy. That would have been the physician healing himself. It would also have been an act of vanity. And that is where those " holes in the human heart where falsehood lurks, that John Calvin wrote about live.
 What is all of this rambling on about ? It is a review of my motivations. I believe it isn't our actions we should review, but the motivation for that action. What is the motivation for writing this book ? Is it a genuine desire to share whatever insight and observations I have made ? Am I truly motivated by charity. Charity begins at home, isn't that what they say ? Is it a desire to give something to my family that motivates me ? Or is it really just a vanity ? Is it something I want to do to receive validation or reward of some kind ? I can't deny I would feel rejected if I received nothing. My feelings would be hurt, I can't fool myself about that. That is something I have to admit in broad daylight and before the world. Is my constitution strong enough for that ? The big question is am I willing to do the work and take the risk ? Only a thorough understanding of my motivation can answer that question. Should I allow myself such vanity ? I'm thinking it isn't so much the vanity of the idea as it turning out to be a vain attempt. Two sides to a coin. I'm still examining it carefully.      

back at the five and dime

 When I was small we went to the five and ten cent store. Living in a rural town we didn't have a Woolworth's but we had the 5&10 anyway. That is all I remember ever calling that store. I expect it had another name. But I remember well the little wooden bins all in lines on that creaky wooden floor. The best toys were hung on hooks from the ceiling to keep little hands off them I assume. About this time of year they would have chicks for sale. Yes, live chicks for Easter. The 5&10 was a magical place for a child. You just might find anything in there. And up front, by the cashier counter was the most amazing donut machine. You could watch those donuts travel on a chain into the hot grease and emerge on the other side. The smell alone was like a sweet breath of fresh air straight from heaven.
 But that store was also a place of great temptation. I once helped myself to something, a pack of baseball cards I think. When we got to the car Mom questioned me about those cards. Her glare of truth was an unstoppable force, stronger than any lie detector machine yet invented, and I confessed. I was taken right back into that store and made to explain to the owner just why I felt I had a right to take those cards. Saying sorry wasn't enough, no, I had to explain myself. I knew this man, he was a Jewish guy, Mom had told me that lots of times. I remembered from Sunday school that Jesus tried to explain himself to the Jews,  and what happened after that. I didn't think I would meet the same fate, that's illegal now isn't it , but I was sure scared. Scared straight as they say nowadays, as I never took another thing.
 I was thinking about that yesterday as I chatted with my wife. We had ridden past the dollar store and I remarked, remember when we went to the 5&10, now you go to the dollar store. Yes, that is where we have arrived, from nickels and dimes to dollars. We pay more in sales tax than we ever paid for the items themselves. When thinking about it in that context I do feel old. I remember well penny candy and packs of baseball cards for a quarter, including the gum. I could buy a 45RPM record of the latest hit for 95 cents. The album was for the richer kids at almost four dollars ! I didn't buy many of those. The dollar store just doesn't have the same atmosphere though. All the ones I have been in seem crowded and disorganized. The 5&10 I remember was kept nice and neat. There was obvious pride in ownership. Now it is all about sales. To be honest I suppose it was back then as well, after all, the man was in business to make money but it didn't seem that way. There was no signs saying no backpacks, course we didn't have backpacks then except for hiking, and no signs limiting the number of children permitted at any one time. The owner kept a sharp lookout most of the time, like a roving security camera ! And if he said he saw it, that was proof positive, you were guilty ! That's all that was needed back then, the word of an adult. Didn't matter what adult either, if an adult said it, it was the truth.
 Given everything I hear and see in the news lately I needed that little stroll down memory lane. We have a few stores around here that have those old wooden floors just like the five and dime of my youth. I've been known to walk in there just to walk on the floor. Seems silly doesn't it ? But, still it is a comfort at times if only for a moment. I can feel the floor give just a little and let out a creak. I'm back at the five and dime.      

walking out

  I am opposed to this so called common core that the government imposed upon the schools. I say imposed because it was tied to funding. Teach this and get that, don't teach this and you don't get that. I believe it is the quality of the teachers that determine the quality of the education received. It is not dependent upon government guidance and intervention. It appear to me it is almost an indoctrination of sorts. Just a cursory review of what is being taught will expose that. History being rewritten, history being completely ignored and courses that teach life skills being eliminated altogether. The push is and has been for some time now for a college education. The value of that education, in real life terms, is mostly overlooked. The goal is to get the degree. It's like getting a real fancy car and then you can't afford the gas. It isn't doing you a whole lotta good.
 I'm not one to jump on the conspiracy wagon. I do have my own thoughts and ideas about things. And yes, of course, these thoughts and ideas are based in my own life experiences. I have been paying attention. First we had this common core stuff. Good intentions no doubt but misguided. Not every student is equal in scholastic ability. That is just a simple fact of life. As we say, some crackers are just crisper than others. Any expectation that all students could be taught the same ( in common ) is definitely wrong. We all know each of us learns in different ways. One child you only need to talk to,and the other responds to a more, shall we say, martial approach. Still the government tried to use the socialist approach, everyone gets the same thing. And now students are being indoctrinated to surrender their rights.
How can you not see that?Students are protesting, demanding change. But what change are they demanding ? The removal of their constitutional rights ! That's correct, that is what they are being taught. Like I said I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist sort of guy but I can plainly see who is supporting this agenda. If it isn't a socialist proposal I don't what else you would call it. Disarm the citizens ! Yes, we will start by imposing a few restrictions, you could argue that started in 1934 with the National Firearms Act. That act was partially in response to the criminals using Tommy guns ( fully automatic rifles ) and an attempt to restrict their sale to the general public. It worked in that regard, although the criminals kept on using them anyway. There is no reported incidence of an organized gang surrendering their automatic weapons to the authorities because, hey, they are illegal ! Now children are being taught that assault rifles need to be restricted. Assault rifle  is the present day version of a Tommy gun. The big difference is that an assault rifle is a semi-automatic rifle that has a certain distinctive appearance. Anyone from my generation knows what a Tommy gun looks like and now any child in America knows what an assault rifle looks like. So, we must restrict the sale of that semi-automatic weapon, another step closer to banning all guns. Another step closer to the removal of the second amendment. One brick in the wall of the Constitution that protects us all. And why impress this upon the children ? These children will soon be able to vote. And who will they vote for ? The party that supports all of this. One member of that party even identifies himself as a socialist ! What else does this party promise ? Free everything, no accountability for your " mistakes " and that the government will take care of you. Does forty acres and a mule should familiar ? Yeah, that's the government taking care of you. And to be truthful it was the Republicans that rescinded that mandate.
 I can't help but think of the comparison in history to another government. That government made all the grand promises of peace and prosperity. They began by disarming the citizens. Then they divided the citizens into " good " and " bad " based on their religious beliefs, there "heritage " and finally on their physical and mental well being. They even had children reporting their parents to the government for infractions ! Yes, the children were " empowered ! " We all know how that worked out.
 What are we teaching our children today ? To rely upon the government to solve all our issues in life. We are attempting to legislate human behaviors, instead of punishing those that fail to act within the law. Oh, we will tell what you can and can not do alright, as long as it benefits the state. By the state I do mean government. Regulations and restrictions galore, anything to increase your dependence upon the state. Hey, you have an unwanted pregnancy, no problem the government will take care of that. We'll call it choice or women's' health. Got yourself a worthless degree and are in debt for that ? No problem, we will forgive your debt, let some hard working uneducated person pay that for you. Vote for us and we will take care of you. That is the message of change. That was the message of change I listened to for eight years ! The change was to be from independence to dependence ! Everyone is same ! Right, isn't that what we hear every day now ?
 And so we are telling the children to just walk out ! Walk out and demand change. Demand that your rights are taken away because only the government can keep you safe. You bear no responsibilty whatsoever. You should just be able to go to school, enjoy your after school activities and be accepted by everyone. It's the law ! Never mind about reality, never mind about history, never mind about any of that. Just walk out ! You don't need to actually do anything, you can just walk out and demand the government do something. Demand the government strip you of your rights ! Rewrite the constitution, abolish the bill of rights.
 I find this disturbing. Children are impressionable creatures wouldn't you say ? And yes, they are children. Keep on telling them how smart and socially aware they are. Keep handing out the participation trophies. Keep on teaching them to allow the government to settle every issue. Encourage them to accept dependence as a right, an entitlement. Wealth and fame are the goals in life. We should be happy every day and just do whatever we like. If I am denied anything I will sue. It is obviously discrimination ! Everyone is equal right ? Well, the deal is this, all men are created equal, I agree whole heartedly. Results however, are not guaranteed. You have to earn your way, it is not guaranteed and is based upon personal effort. Independence is not being separate from responsibilty but accepting responsibilty. And you can't walk out on that ! 

entering a plea

 It was reported that the kid that shot and killed 17 people at Parkland High School says he'll plead guilty if the death penalty is removed from sentencing. Think about that, he'll plead guilty by pleading for his life ! Why aren't we just saying, you're guilty kid and you will die ! This trial is just a formality, a crossing of the T's and a dotting of the I's. To even entertain the idea that he would be spared the death penalty is beyond me. This kid is 17 years old and commits mass murder. The cost to imprison this criminal is currently about 70,000 dollars a year. A major portion of that cost is for health care ! Think about that. He gets free, top notch healthcare for life for killing 17 people ! How is that justice ? And then we have those folks saying we shouldn't kill him , it's wrong. The same people that are funding Planned Parenthood I might add. But it's the rifle's fault right ? We will restrict the rights of the law abiding citizen in response to a mass murderer that we house, feed, provide health care and educational opportunity too ! Oh, but he is just a kid. Makes me sick. If we allow this kid to go unpunished, withholding the ultimate punishment how can we expect our law to act as a deterrent ? Given time, there will be interviews, a made for TV movie, and royalties to fight about.
 It just irritates me to no end. Why does this kid even get to say, I'll plead guilty, like it is some sort of deal ? You are guilty ! I don't need your pleas ! All that is left to be decided is how and when in  my book. Are you afraid of dying kid ? Well, what a shame. You should be afraid. Be very afraid, I just might enter your cell and begin shooting at you ! I can see no reason you aren't dead right now. You're guilty, we know you're guilty, you have been given plenty of time to plead with your God, if you have one. And that should be the only plea allowed in this case, a plea for mercy from a benevolent God. You will get no mercy from me. Yes it is God that will make the final decision, but I'll be the one that sends you there to explain yourself. Tell it to God, I'm done with you. 

I'm ready

 Spring will arrive in just seven more days. I'm ready for it. I have seen the daffodils standing tall and a bud or two on the trees. The earth is reawakening and it's a wonderful thing. Time to start making plans for the warm weather activities. I haven't given that much thought just yet. I will plan a clamming trip to Assateauge island. I went just once last year and have to say it wasn't very productive, I got one clam. But, no matter, I really enjoyed the effort. I'll just have to scout out the area a little better and discover the hot spots. I need to befriend a local, that's how you can get that information. There will be cat fishing as well and crabbing. This summer I'll turn 65 and get my fishing license for five bucks ! I'm looking forward to that perk.
 I live in an apartment and so don't have a yard of my own. That is easily solved though because my son has one. I can do pretty much anything I want in his yard. I can plant a garden, swing in the hammock or build a fire. In turn I usually cut the grass and do the other yardwork. I'm not complaining about that, I do enjoy it. It is really the best of two worlds. If I don't feel like doing it  I'm under no obligation to do so. I'm thinking I may plant some cherry tomatoes or cukes.
 I am looking forward to that brief period in time when I can live with the windows open. Here in Greensboro I don't feel the need to keep my windows closed at night for security. Living on the second floor helps with that as well. I do like it when in the evening you can leave the windows open, feel a cool breeze and listen to the sounds of nature. That will only last a few weeks at best before heat and humidity take over. Then the a/c goes in the window and that's what you hear. I have become spoiled over the years in that regard. We had no a/c when I was growing up. It got hot and humid and you dealt with it. I remember well lying on the bed with no cover over me. Sleep was slow to come and uncomfortable. We have it pretty easy these days.
 Easter falls on April first this year. That is also great grandfather's Lester's birthday. He would be 140 years old. I always remember his birthday for the obvious reason, it's April's fool day. And yes, he was teased about that his whole life. Easter doesn't appear to be celebrated the same way it was in the old days. I do remember getting a new suit for Easter and my sister a dress, gloves, bonnet and matching purse. I remember when the church first had a sunrise service on the beach ! That was pretty radical in my thinking. Next came guitar playing in the church. Well, that was the bringing of a transition in worship in my opinion. I believe we have shifted from being supplicants to celebrants. Quite a different approach. It kind of ties in with an entitlement attitude that has also become so prevalent in today's world. Celebrating a little early in my opinion. Should we celebrate an expectation ? Well, that's another whole subject. And yes, I've written an entire blog about just that. As my wife says, what haven't you written about ? The answer is, not much.
 I do think we appreciated the change in seasons more back in the day. Now we can stay pretty much in a stable environment year round. The outdoors is a place we mostly go for recreation these days. Even outdoor workers are usually provided some shelter, like a truck cab or portable heaters. But back when there was no relief from the elements, other than the elements changing, we surely appreciated that. I read that was the main reason places like Nevada weren't really settled until the advent of air conditioning. Makes sense to me.
 Just one more week. I'm ready. 

a brief statement

 Today is one of those days I just don't have much to say. Surprising I know. But I heard a coffee shop in Oakland California has openly stated they don't serve uniformed Police Officers. Sounds like discrimination to me but we will have to check with the Supreme court on that. Of course this coffee shop is owned by members of the Latino community so it probably isn't discrimination at all, just a little misunderstanding about the law. After all, the civil rights act of 1964 doesn't specifically say you can't discriminate based on occupation ! But, I'm not going to get started about that. The Police have stated they will serve that establishment should the need arise. Personally I know what I would serve them, but I'm not a professional law enforcement officer.
 Yesterday, for some unknown reason the question of travelers checks came up. I googled it and yes you can still get travelers checks. Surprisingly some folks still use them ! Have you ever used one ? I seem to recall having them for some purpose although I really can't recall why. Other than the Navy I haven't traveled a lot where I would require them. Fact is I haven't ever had that much money to worry about having them either. Credit cards and ATM's have all but eliminated them. Shoot I hardly ever use a regular check these days, just debit it directly from checking. I have to admit, it's an improvement.
 Well that's about all I have to say this morning. I am wondering though just where common sense has gone ? Did someone forget to bring that into the 21st century ? All I know is it is scarcer than hen's teeth these days. We have a drug abuse problem and we blame the drug. We have a problem with gun violence and we blame the gun. We have an unwanted pregnancy and we kill the child ! Are you seeing a trend here ? Common sense can cure all of that. Don't take drugs, don't point a gun at anything you don't intend to shoot, and don't have sex unless you are ready to accept the possible result of that action. It's really not that hard people.   

a transparent presence

 It has been said you could tell a lot about a man by the books in his library. Well, I wouldn't say I have a library but I do have some books. I admit they are mostly novels and not real scholarly in nature.  I do have a few historical novels and some reference materials. I'm not certain what a stranger would make out of my collection. Could they tell a lot ? I don't really think they could. At least not a very accurate compilation of my interests.
 I believe in todays world we would have to look at the persons online presence to determine the same thing. The Internet is slowly replacing books. You have to admit that. Who still has a set of encyclopedias in their home ? Up to date ? Who has a set of any books ? I did have sets when I was young. I'm sure you folks remember them, they came with the encyclopedias when Mom bought those. They were a collection of the classics and children's tales. Ours had a medical reference book and one that was all about science. All those books have long since gone to the landfill. Disposable books, who would have thought ? Books, good books, used to stay in families for generations. Now, they are more for decoration.
 I still enjoy reading a good book on a rainy day. Strange how it is a nostalgic feeling. It really should be an old familiar feeling more than a novelty. Some books are like an old movie to me, I read them again, and each time they are new. Even when you know the plot, you even know the next line, you read it with anticipation. Is it really the story or the holding of the book ? I do get lost in that world when I'm reading, almost to the exclusion of all else. Immersed, as they say, in the story.
 There is something about the printed word. It we read it, we tend to believe it. I wonder why that is. It is just as true online, as in a book. The big difference is the ease of finding a contradictory text online. I wonder why so many fail to search for that though ? Is it because when we read something that we already have formed an opinion on we readily accept supporting " evidence " without verifying that evidence ? Is the proliferation of this " fake " news a direct result of the ease of posting it ? What I mean is, it is so much easier to just post a text online and have it read by thousands of people than to print a book or pamphlet and distribute that. The proof of that is this blog. If it weren't for the internet how many would have even read one piece I have written ? Truth is, I probably wouldn't have written these in the first place. In my case it is of little consequence due to my social status. If I were extremely wealthy or famous in some fashion all that would change. Then, I would be quoted, cited as evidence of proof. Funny how that works isn't it ?
 That is being called out more frequently these days however and I think that is a good thing. You may be a great singer,  or an actor,  but that doesn't mean your political views are more or less valid than mine. Being rich and/or famous doesn't make you an expert on everything.
 I wonder too if the ease of availability of every type of literature and photograph is proving to be too much of a temptation for some. These sort of things can now be obtained in private and far more  discretely. Used to be the best you could hope for was a plain brown wrapper,  but everyone knew what that meant anyway.  Could this be a contributing factor to the decline in, how should I say this, a less pious approach to life ? It isn't without hazards though. Your online presence is always there and can be accessed and exposed at any time. Then your own words and choices can be used against you. Ask any politician about that. The internet is your permanent record ! A book may be burned, the internet not so much. It has been said the pen is mightier than the sword. I would say the Internet can be a dagger ! In Moby Dick Ahab says, from deaths door I stab at thee ! Yeah I know Khan said it in the movie the wrath of Khan, but Melville wrote it first. The internet can stab at thee even after your death. It just never goes away.
 Books have been lost. What knowledge did they contain ? When the great library at Alexandria was put to the torch much was destroyed. Shame it wasn't digitized back then. What more would we know about historical figures and events ? What secrets have been lost and await rediscovery ? The internet as we know it today started in the late 1960's but I'd say it wasn't until the late 70's that it really came online. Almost everything from then on is out there somewhere. If you know how to find it that is. Fortunately we have Google and not the Dewey Decimal System ! But, I suppose you could Google that if you wanted too. 

War on Drugs

 The war on drugs is being lost. That is a headline I read recently. Last year alone there were 50,000 overdoses causing death. I thought to myself, war on drugs, what a load of crap that is. How can you wage war against an inanimate object. The war was lost when what was abandoned was a sense of morals and values in the hearts of people. Want to win the war on drugs ? Fight and win a victory for morality and decency ! The problem is not the drugs, the problem is people are abusing those drugs. And why are they abusing those drugs ? It is because they are trying to replace something they don't have in their lives. It is an attempt to gain a good feeling about themselves. The attempt will be made by artificial means when there is nothing of substance for these folks to grab on to. When you can find nothing to take pride in, inside yourself, you will reach outside. But happiness and contentment does not reside outside our souls, and that is where the war is being lost. The war on drugs can not be fought outside , it has to be won inside.
 Take a good look at the issues before us today. The war on drugs, gun violence and " human rights. " Gun violence stems from bad people. Much like drug abusers these folks are missing something inside of them. They choose to gain attention in this way. The guns aren't violent, the people are ! I'd say committing a mass shooting is a people problem, not a gun problem. And all this human rights talk these days mostly centers around perceived injustices. Take the wage gap. That was addressed by the civil rights act of 1964. Now folks are saying it wasn't specific enough, it needs to say this or that. No, what is needed is for that act to be applied and enforced in accordance with its' intent. A people problem, not a government problem. The act prohibited discrimination based on race, sex, national origin or religion. Looks like it has it all covered to me. Yet, now we have all sorts of groups protesting, claiming discrimination against them. And I say the majority of these groups claiming discrimination are basing these claims on their moral and ethical choices. Choices that are contrary to the accepted norm in American society ! Yes those behaviors have always existed, but that doesn't mean those behaviors are normal or acceptable. Something that is wrong, is wrong every time. Two wrongs don't make a right, and a million wrongs won't change the formula either. Historically they have been tolerated, but tolerance and acceptance are different circumstances.
 I haven't done any big study. I haven't spent millions of dollars on research. What I have seen is the absence of moral and virtuous behavior leading us to chaos. I have seen the more we tell our children that whatever they choose to do is fine, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, the more people are getting hurt. And you know why that is ? That is because by telling our children they can do whatever they want,  as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else,  we are giving them permission to hurt themselves ! When these children hurt themselves the eventual result is they will reach outside themselves to ease the pain. That pain will be eased by what the educated folks call transference. I call it acting out. How many times have we heard that term used ? Acting out, yes acting outside of themselves to satisfy a need within themselves. A need we allowed them to destroy because we were weak. We made excuses and placed the blame elsewhere. We blame the drug, we blame the gun, we blame everything and anything. There isn't enough law, there isn't enough money, there isn't enough charity. The fault always lies somewhere else. The truth is the fault lies in allowing unbridled passions to run our politics ! Legislation is being implemented in response to emotions, not logic.
 John Adams summed it up nicely :    

" We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other. " 

For some more interesting reading that may explain some of my own thinking try reading this : 

  https://ethicsalarms.com/rule-book/unethical-rationalizations-and-misconceptions/
  

gettting better

 It does seem obvious, but the question to be answered is , what is the mutual goal ? I'm speaking of America. What, as a country , is our mutual goal ? Is the United States to be the stewards of the globe,  or should we just enjoy a peaceful co-existence with other nations ? Are we a nation or a collection of immigrants ? For me, if you are a citizen of this nation, you are not an immigrant. You were an immigrant, but you're not now. And if your ancestors came here generations ago, you never were an immigrant. It all seems fairly plain and obvious to me. Please note I am only speaking of those that arrived legally. I'm not talking about criminals. And please, don't start in with the Pilgrims came here illegally, just what sovereign nation did they invade ? What civilization did they impose their will upon ? The correct answer is none. On the North American continent there lived many small bands of people, each band independent of the other. Those folks gained and controlled their " lands " by conquest and continued aggression against the other bands. That's how it worked. The Pilgrims were nothing more than other " band " of folks that jumped into the fray. So, please spare me that lame scenario of the white man invading a foreign nation. Hey, the French and the Spanish did the same thing, it is just that the English dominated in the end. In fact, it was the English that formed the new nation. Eventually from sea to shining sea ! Remember that from grade school ?
 The obvious thing, as far as I am concerned, is that the nation ( government ) was formed as an organizational tool. The purpose of government was not to direct, but to restrain those that would do harm. Why we have a penal system, not a reward system. We were given the second amendment in the event that government attempted to take control of the people, in case the government started to do harm. What was the premise ? To live free of government intervention in our daily affairs. That was the dream. To live, work, build, and pursue your dreams unfettered from government control and restriction. Free from government demands of unreasonable taxes upon the people. That is what America was to be. The founding fathers knew a central government was necessary for this to function. They also knew the individual states should retain power as well. Just as a family requires a patriarch or matriarch to provide guidance, advice, and help when required, so too a nation requires these things. That doesn't mean the others always blindly follow that same advice, or guidance. In fact the object is to learn to survive on your own ! The object is not to live a life of dependence upon that patriarch or matriarch ! So, we should not be dependent upon the government either. Seems quite obvious to me. Government is a tool and it is up to us to use that tool. We the people, control the tool. 
 But back to the question I started with. What is the mutual goal here ? Is it to be independent or dependent ? Isn't that the left and the right ? You can't be independent by surrendering your rights ! I fail to see why certain members of our nation can not seem to grasp that simple concept. How can you be independent when the government is legislating the absence of morality ? And that is what the government is doing under the guise of " equality " and separation of church and state. What is at the core of every nation ? Belief, belief in an ideology. When the ideology changes, so will the nation. We are allowing our ideology to be contaminated and we are seeing the results. Just what is the mutual goal ? Until we all decide upon that, things aren't going to get any better.  

Air bedding

 When I was in the navy our days were run by the Plan of the Day. This was nothing more than a schedule of events. It would list the time of the days activities. On the bottom there were notices and such. The Plan of the Day told you what clothes to wear, uniform of the day, and where to be , when. If you were friends with the ships' administration people you could get an advance copy of the plan and get a heads' up on others. That could prove useful information depending upon what was scheduled. The Plan of the Day was classified as " confidential " information and was not supposed to leave the ship. Funny how they were just thrown in the trash every day. Well, there were no big secrets in them anyway.
 This came to mind this morning because of a request by my wife. We just purchased a new memory foam/gel top mattress. It came vacuum packed and was delivered by UPS. After opening the packaging we read the instructions. It was recommended to " air " this mattress as it would have a " musty " smell from the manufacturing process. So, the wife says  let's put it out on the porch this morning. It was that request that inspired this writing. In the Navy, we called this process " air bedding. " It would appear in the plan of the day. At 0800 all hands are to " air bedding. " What that meant was to take your mattress topside and literally air it out ! As you can imagine that bedding could get quite odoriferous if left unaired. We didn't have any such thing as Frebreeze or Lysol in those days. You had to make sure your mattress was well marked so as not to have someone else walk off with it. No, all mattresses are not created equally ! There are not many personal things in the navy but your mattress is one of them. Well, at least the one you are assigned when you arrive on board. It's not a new one but you don't know who slept there before you, so it feels new. Should you change bunks you will switch mattresses as well. But that is all the normal stuff of life in the Navy.
 So today the Plan of the Day is to " air bedding. " It isn't something I ever expected to do again. I expect folks used to do that back in the old days after a long winter. I remember the spring cleanings of old. Throw open the windows, took the rugs outside for a good beating and those quilts were hung out as well. Air bedding on ship served the same purpose. Our mattress was nothing more than a slab of three inch foam rubber, officers get four inch foam. It had a covering made of bed ticking that zippered up the end. You could take it off and launder it but that seldom happened. Oh, that covering was affectionately called a " fart sack. " Sailor terms can be quite descriptive.
 I have to say the Plan of the Day was quite useful. Took the stress out of everything. It was listed right there what you were wearing and what you where doing today. Told you what time to get up and what time to go to bed. The best was when the Plan of the Day said, " holiday routine " will be observed. That was a day off. Reveille wasn't until 0700 and all you had to do was stand your watches for the day. Holiday routine was observed on Sunday and any other day designated by the Captain. I'm thinking tomorrow I'll grant myself holiday routine. 

keeping a log

  Writing it has been said is a journey of discovery. I've been sailing along for a while now. Occasionally I do change my tact, although I really have no idea of my destination. Makes me wonder about certain things. Do we all have a destination ? Or do some of us just sail around aimlessly, going from port to port ? Have I reached my final anchorage ? And just why am I writing in nautical terms this morning ? Have I tapped into the ancient mariner in me ?
 I think it may be in response to a post I saw yesterday. A Facebook friend posts beautiful pictures of the sea almost every day. I was inspired to post the opening stanza's from one of my favorite poems, Sea Fever by John Masefield. " I must go down to the seas again,  to the lonely seas and the sky, and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by. " Those opening lines always touch me. I believe I'm envious of the poet's love for the sea. Like a Mistress he is being drawn to her, even though her beauty masks the danger. I have many seafarers in my past, whalers and baymen. My ancestors worked the waters and sailed the high seas. I too, sailed the high seas, although in far more comfort and security then any of them ever did. Still, a bit of seawater flows in my veins. I love the sound of the pounding surf as well as the gentle lapping of the waves at the edge of the bay. The sand beneath your feet and a breeze carrying that salt in the air, there just isn't much to compare. Something tells me the loneliness of the mountains must have a similar effect upon men, perhaps I will travel there one day and find out for myself. And what of the rolling plains in the Midwest ? Do they move men in such ways ?
 I've been writing and discovering . Mostly I have discovered stuff about myself. It isn't so much a learning experience as finding what was misplaced. I do believe the core of who we are is formed in our youth. That is the reason we become unsettled in our advancing years. We have a tendency to misplace things when grabbing for the new. There are times when we what we set aside is an integral part of who we are really are. We remember the actions taken,  but forget the motivation. It is our motivations that we should examine closely. There is comfort in knowing why. It could be that is why I have taken to writing, it is an attempt to explain, to know why. It is an exciting journey of adventure and grand tales ? As was said by the folks I grew up around, " not hardly Bub. "  I have no great tales of excitement. The journey has mostly been uneventful. I'm taking that as a blessing. I have been fortunate indeed. I have discovered something though, I like Poetry that Rhymes. I'm not so much inspired by other forms. I haven't listened much but isn't that the format for " rapping " too ? What little bit I have heard seems to incorporate a lot of " words " that are coarse, foul, or otherwise inappropriate. As I mentioned yesterday, an aggressive form of speech. Then we wonder why violence is on the rise ? Are they related ? I don't know about any of that.
 Yes, my writing is a way of expressing my discoveries. In a way I'm sailing around and the destination is to find myself. Strangely I don't feel lost. In fact I feel quite comfortable on this journey. I have trimmed the sails a bit, I'm not rushing ahead as I used to do. I'm keeping a sharper weather eye out these days, as I don't weather the storms as easily. Presently I am moored in Greensboro, Maryland. It could be I'm just filling out the log book, catching up so to speak. I rather like that thought. I'm no Captain, but I can keep a log nonetheless. A log of my journey sounds nice. 

a show of aggression

 This might ruffle a few feathers but I can't help but take note of this. I was browsing my Facebook page when a short video appears. It is a very small child and this child is saying the F-bomb. I noticed a lady,  of obviously senior years, saying how it started her day out with a smile and a good laugh. My immediate response, and I can be impulsive, was how is that funny ? I just have to say, it's wrong. On so many levels it is just wrong. Her response to me was, to each their own. I gave her response a " like " and moved on. But, this minor incident has stuck with me and has become a burr under my saddle. Now, I admit if this was some teenage kid I probably wouldn't have been so surprised. Have we really lost our sense of social conscious to the point where this sort of thing is a source of amusement ? I mean, how did this child learn this word and use it in " proper " context ? I italicized proper because it was being used as a noun, instead of the verb that it is. It is apparent this child is exposed to this sort of language. I would suggest on a regular basis.
 I have written about polite company in the past and think of Facebook as " being in polite company. " I started my own little group because I was apparently offending some others with my opinions. It wasn't the language I used, but the ideas I presented. And all of this is fine, that is the way it works in polite company. If you don't like what you are hearing, you just move on. Or, in my case, start your own group. I couldn't help but leave a remark on that posting. That isn't to say I will block this person or start an online battle but felt a social obligation to point out , what for me, was the obvious. If, as a society, in polite company we accept this sort of humor,  we just cheapen the relationship. I understand that between the parents, or perhaps with a very close friend one might chuckle at this outburst from a child that obviously isn't aware how inappropriate that word is. That will be followed by attempting to explain how that could happen, dare I say embarrassment by the parent ? That's one thing, to post it to social media and then have strangers laughing at it speaks volumes to me. Are you really that desperate for attention ? And what kind of person says, I think that was hilarious ?
 There will be those that say I'm offended . I say to them I am not offended just disappointed. Call it getting old, but I am seeing society degenerate right before my eyes. I'm aware that every generation says this. One day these millennials will be saying the same thing. The thing is that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said ! And that is what Polite Company really means. It was when people at least maintained a façade of civility ! Now that is being discarded as an outdated concept. No longer do we temper our thoughts, we just throw them out there. There are no boundaries, nothing is held in.
 Look I was in the Navy for twenty years. I seriously doubt there isn't a single foul mouthed, obscene or disgusting thing I haven't heard said. I can string together expletives with the best of them, and I admit,  on occasion,  I did so. You do have to adapt to the environment if you want to get along. In the case of the Navy, I didn't have a choice, I couldn't just storm off. Still I knew even then that doing so wouldn't make me any more relevant, or intelligent. No, it was more a show of aggression than anything else. That is what it is. Aggression must be countered with aggression, unless you are Gandhi or Mother Teresa.
 Standards. That is what I'm talking about here. Standards of conduct and the self implementation of those standards. Yes, to each their own. And some have poor standards ! I said this would probably ruffle some feathers but I am one that has to speak his mind. And I say that video and the response to it was substandard behavior. I feel better having said so and so will now move on. Self righteous you say ? I don't think so, I still believe there are many that would agree with me. When one uses foul and abusive language it is a sign of aggression. When you defend actions that you know to be inherently wrong, that is also a sign of aggression. It is done to avoid contrition. Contrition is good for the soul and shouldn't be avoided. Of course,  if you act right, you don't have to be concerned with that.