Yesterday I was writing about polite company and how people behave in public compared to how they behave on social media. I do believe that we live in a far more socially aggressive society than in the past. That was my premise about being in polite company. You remember how your Mom would correct your behavior and " censure " your words. They were the lessons you received about being in polite company. Instructions on how to straighten up and fly right ! Sadly in my estimation those lessons are not being taught anymore, in fact, the opposite seems to be true. The object now seems to be , force your opinion upon others no matter what. Your feelings are far more important than what anyone else may be experiencing. Any " tempering " of your words, or " constraint " on your part is viewed as a weakness. It is a fight to the death !
I have noticed this behavior is far more prevalent on social media than it is in society. That is a good thing, but I can also see it gaining in popularity in personal interactions. More people are apt to express themselves forcibly than in the past. I believe that started with the acceptance of crude, vulgar, and offensive adjectives in our everyday language. I could make the argument that it began when little Johnny started calling his mother Jane instead of Mom ! Mom having relinquished her position of authority over his actions. Hey, I'll leave that to a sociologist to figure out. They go to school for that sort of thing. It's none of my business. But my point here is that is what I think happened anyway. If you don't teach your children how to behave you can't expect good behavior. Of course we could just talk to them about all of that. Yeah, that's working out real well.
What I was wondering about as I began this was whether people are more honest in person or on the internet ? It is certainly easier to be whoever you wish to be on the internet. I wonder if people choose to present themselves differently when they are unknown ? The question is, is that who you really are ? Only you know the answer to that question, everyone else is just guessing. The more exposure you allow, the greater the chance they will guess correctly. That is why you were taught restraint in polite company. You don't want people to think you're an animal do you ? Better to keep your cards close to the vest, to coin an old phrase. It is called discretion, although some feel it is deceit.
Discretion is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense, or revealing private information. It's purpose is not to hide anything, rather to protect. Of course, later on, when certain things are revealed, one may feel deceived. So the question becomes when to exercise discretion, and is it ever acceptable to deceive. I would say it is always best to exercise discretion as its' purpose is not to harm anyone. On the other hand deceit is perpetrated. And if something is perpetrated that action is harmful, immoral or possibly illegal. That's never a good thing. That applies even if you are just trying to deceive yourself ! We call that delusional. There is a lot of that going around these days.
I do think that we should be as honest as possible. Now I know I have a tendency to write differently than I speak. That isn't a conscious thing intended to deceive anyone but rather the way my brain seems to function. Or is that a malfunction ? Whatever the case, the words in my head come out differently when written, if that makes any sense at all. I wonder if some of you were to meet me in person if you would be disappointed. Well not disappointed really, but not what you expected is a better description. Would you feel deceived ? I certainly hope that wouldn't be the case. Our mental images of people can often deceive us. The reason is a basic one, we are all prejudiced. I know, we all deny that as prejudice is a bad thing. Fact is, it is only bad when proven to be so,if not, you exercised good judgement. And there is that word, judging. Don't judge ! But then again we do tend to think of judgement as a condemnation and why should that be so ? We all like it when the judgement goes in our favor don't we ? The judgement is a good thing. Strange how that works isn't it ? But I have begun to wander. I do think I have failed to exercise discretion adequately and for that much I apologize. I will try to be more discrete in the future.
I have noticed this behavior is far more prevalent on social media than it is in society. That is a good thing, but I can also see it gaining in popularity in personal interactions. More people are apt to express themselves forcibly than in the past. I believe that started with the acceptance of crude, vulgar, and offensive adjectives in our everyday language. I could make the argument that it began when little Johnny started calling his mother Jane instead of Mom ! Mom having relinquished her position of authority over his actions. Hey, I'll leave that to a sociologist to figure out. They go to school for that sort of thing. It's none of my business. But my point here is that is what I think happened anyway. If you don't teach your children how to behave you can't expect good behavior. Of course we could just talk to them about all of that. Yeah, that's working out real well.
What I was wondering about as I began this was whether people are more honest in person or on the internet ? It is certainly easier to be whoever you wish to be on the internet. I wonder if people choose to present themselves differently when they are unknown ? The question is, is that who you really are ? Only you know the answer to that question, everyone else is just guessing. The more exposure you allow, the greater the chance they will guess correctly. That is why you were taught restraint in polite company. You don't want people to think you're an animal do you ? Better to keep your cards close to the vest, to coin an old phrase. It is called discretion, although some feel it is deceit.
Discretion is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense, or revealing private information. It's purpose is not to hide anything, rather to protect. Of course, later on, when certain things are revealed, one may feel deceived. So the question becomes when to exercise discretion, and is it ever acceptable to deceive. I would say it is always best to exercise discretion as its' purpose is not to harm anyone. On the other hand deceit is perpetrated. And if something is perpetrated that action is harmful, immoral or possibly illegal. That's never a good thing. That applies even if you are just trying to deceive yourself ! We call that delusional. There is a lot of that going around these days.
I do think that we should be as honest as possible. Now I know I have a tendency to write differently than I speak. That isn't a conscious thing intended to deceive anyone but rather the way my brain seems to function. Or is that a malfunction ? Whatever the case, the words in my head come out differently when written, if that makes any sense at all. I wonder if some of you were to meet me in person if you would be disappointed. Well not disappointed really, but not what you expected is a better description. Would you feel deceived ? I certainly hope that wouldn't be the case. Our mental images of people can often deceive us. The reason is a basic one, we are all prejudiced. I know, we all deny that as prejudice is a bad thing. Fact is, it is only bad when proven to be so,if not, you exercised good judgement. And there is that word, judging. Don't judge ! But then again we do tend to think of judgement as a condemnation and why should that be so ? We all like it when the judgement goes in our favor don't we ? The judgement is a good thing. Strange how that works isn't it ? But I have begun to wander. I do think I have failed to exercise discretion adequately and for that much I apologize. I will try to be more discrete in the future.
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