hanging on

 As I was driving back from dropping the grandson off for soccer practice I noticed a sign alongside the road. Hand painted on a piece of plywood it read, MUMS. My immediate thought was, it's fall. The seasons are being rushed into we are all aware of that. The Halloween candy went up when the 4th of July stuff came down. Now it appears the mums have joined in. I've still got my tomato plant producing and flowers are in bloom, there is no place no Mums. I don't know, it was just a shock I guess. When I got home the evening news was on. I was watching that with my wife and telling her about those mums when the newscaster mentioned a corn maze ! Yup, this farm that creates a corn maze every year has it ready for business. Oh my goodness, corn mazes too ! Did I just hear Jingle Bells or is it my imagination ?
 Now this is something I have mentioned several years, and probably several times during those years, it's nothing new. Still those mums appearing on the side of road was a jolt. I was thinking about the grass that needs mowing and what I might put on the grill for labor day, fall decorations weren't part of that picture. The wife and I do have a small collection of " door decorations " that we hang to announce the arrival of the various holidays and seasons. In fact just a little while back we bought one that says, Welcome Autumn. " It has the obligatory pumpkins, corn stalks and bales of hay on it, along with some glitter. We picked it up at the Dollar store shortly after the fourth of July, laughing as we did so about the fall decorations being out. Somehow it doesn't seem so funny today.
 I can't help but think we are now living by a commercial calendar. It certainly seems all the seasons are geared toward sales. I was never a farmer or one who lived off the land. I did grow up with an understanding of that somewhat. In the spring you had the fresh turned earth and the crops went in. The flowers began to bloom and the grass was greening up. The warmth arrived a little earlier in the morning hours, the world was waking up from that long winters nap. Spring was celebrated for the gift of life. Then we had those lazy, hazy days of summer. Life was good, even the rain was celebrated as a gift. The fall was harvest time, a time to be grateful for whatever bounty the good earth had provided us. It was also the time to prepare. Prepare for the winter months. All the seasons being tied to the cycle of life, of birth and death. Modern man has lost that connection for the most part. The seasons dictate the products that are for sale. That much has always been true. Even in my youth certain products were not available for purchase until they became available locally. Things like cantaloupe or watermelons weren't shipped in from California or foreign countries. If the local farmer didn't grow it you most likely didn't get it. My Mother tells me they didn't get oranges at all until Christmas, as a special treat, because they were so expensive. The local grocery store, owned by Mom and Pop didn't stock such things as a matter of course. Now we expect to be able to get whatever we want, whenever we want it. The calendar means little to us in that regard. The calendar  marks the passage of time. As any " senior " will tell you, time flies. I sure wish we would stop rushing headlong into each season. We are only given just so many seasons, let's not use them all up at once ! Mums and corn mazes ? Really, already ? 

gettin' a lickin'

 I was watching the Waltons as I do most days. Even though I have seen almost every episode multiple times I still enjoy the program. I wouldn't call myself a Walton expert or anything like that, I just like the whole premise of the show. It really is an escape from the real world and that is what those shows were designed to be. To me they are presented almost as an ideal. When I was growing up we had a lot of shows like that. Lots of everyday heroes that lived a modest life. Morality and justice were the themes. Doing the right thing and getting rewarded for that. If you messed up you would be held to account !
 In this episode one of the Walton boys was getting involved in a bunch of mischief. A neighbor boy got mixed up in all of that as well. Toward the end of the show the little boy that was a friend to the Walton boy was to receive a lickin' ! I just had to chuckle a bit as I heard that line. It took me back in time, to my own youth. How many times I heard that said I can't say with certainty, but I sure heard it a lot. If it wasn't directed at me it was directed at my brothers or sister. I asked my wife if that is what her parents said, she replied no, they got a beating ! I continued to laugh about all of that. That is part of the charm shows like that hold for me. I am reliving parts of my childhood as I watch. I wish my childhood was like the Waltons , it wasn't anywhere near close to that, but there were moments.
 Looking back on those shows they did share a common theme. They were all about right and wrong. There was a moral to the story, and that moral was plain. We all knew that real life seldom, if ever, worked that way but it was fun to watch anyway. Who didn't want a Dad like Ward Cleaver or Lucas McCain ? Oh they would hand out a lickin' when it became necessary but they did exercise greater restraint than my Dad. Still, I knew I had it comin' when I did get those lickin's. It wasn't a sneak attack. I always got the chance to explain myself. Seldom was the explanation sufficient to ward off that lickin'. Doing something for a " good " reason wasn't excuse to do something bad ! The road to hell is paved with good intentions is a bit of wisdom I learned at a early age.  I'm certain those shows had an impact on my thinking, I don't see how they couldn't have. Was it a more naïve time ? In certain ways I would have to say it was. There was much children didn't see or hear about. We were left to " discover " that stuff on our own. We would learn about that stuff when we needed to know it ! In a way you could say we were taught the " lesson " before we even had a chance to read the book ! Failure to " learn your lessons " could result in a lickin'. Then you would be taught that lesson all over again. Adults that got themselves into trouble had failed to learn their lessons !
 I'm not certain what shows the kids watch today. From what little I know they really don't watch television shows like I did. I guess there are just too many other options. Music videos, movies on demand and the whole world of the internet to explore. I was told that television was ruining my generation, the boob tube was dumbing us all down and making us lazy. Now it is social media that is causing issues. I wonder what's next ?
 It is a never ending thing, this concern for the generation following our own. I remember when television entertainment was meant to entertain everyone. Today we would say that it was being censured and that is exactly what it was. I don't think that was a bad thing. It sure made it more of a challenge to write and produce a good show that gathered a following. Now all we need to do is appeal to the more " base " side of folks to obtain viewership. Just look at the most popular shows and the evidence is staring you in the face. Not too many moral or ethical values on display in my estimation. Reality they call it ! Yes and I guess it some fashion that is the reality of the world. not my reality however. At least with those old shows their " reality " was a possibility to the average person. It was also something folks aspired too. I do think we try to emulate our " heroes. " Those heroes are whom ? Whoever is admired in popular culture. They are the role models aren't they ? I'd say so, and I'd say we are in real trouble. I'm thinking the whole country needs a lickin'.   

a different perspective

 Labor day is just around the corner. The unofficial end of summer, time to put away those white suits and dresses. Am I mistaken or wasn't this also the time for the " white " sales ? Sheets and pillow cases figured prominently into all that, although I believe it was all linen that went on sale. That was all many years ago now, a relic of a memory. I really just remember that it was the time to go back to school. September would be cool on Long Island but now that global warming has occurred I guess that isn't so anymore. I read where there will be no football program this year at the old alma mater. A lack of willing participants being the cause. I wonder if they have a soccer program ? I'm betting that they do. I will be accused of profiling or being prejudicial in that guess. I am aware of the present demographics of the area and so feel it is a fair assumption. Things change with the times and with the will of the people. Soccer has gained in popularity over the last ten years or so that can't be denied. My beloved Baseball has been on the decline for quite a number of years now. and boxing, who even knows anymore ? We have changed to MMA, more gladiatorial I suppose and in keeping with modern day attitudes. From the sweet science, to ground and pound ! But I digress in my thoughts, I was thinking about Labor day. Everyone thinks of it as a three day weekend and so it is.
 I find it interesting that it was started by the labor unions. It was a day to celebrate the importance of the Labor force in building America. It wasn't intended to celebrate the individual though, it was for the entire force. It is a subtle distinction missed by many folks.. The Labor unions having gained in strength now demanded something, a day off ! Those unions having decided their own importance to the success of America as a nation demanded a day off. They demanded the workers be paid for that day as well, a national holiday. We wouldn't produce anything on that day, but we would get paid for doing nothing ! A great concept to pacify your workforce if you are the union leader. It is almost diabolical in its' sheer simplicity. In reality it is a socialist ploy to control the workforce and the government. We will tell you when to work and when not to, the union knows best. Ultimately the unions seek to control the government. Then you have the birth of the socialist state. Individuals are discounted in favor of the whole, the state. All the while you keep telling the people how they individually benefit from all of that. See, you're getting paid and you don't even have to work ! Isn't it great ? Yup, it's a regular holiday.
 The fact is the success of the nation depends upon the success of each individual in that nation. All too often we lose sight of that. America is a success due to the influx of talent and personalities over the decades. Those immigrants that came here to become Americans did provide the labor, the backbone and the drive to make our country a success. Oh yes, there were the wealthy ones, it takes money to build a nation you know, and we commoners envy the bosses and their money. That is the natural order of things. The dominant male leads the pack doesn't he ? Yes and he always will. Whether by physical or economic strength he will lead. These unions would have you believe that they alone can provide you with that success. They will empower you ! Just the opposite is true. The union seeks to control you for their own benefit. But hey, if you are willing to relinquish your desires in exchange for a day off, that's your choice.
 Individual success is achieved through individual effort. Neither a union nor a government can ensure you success in life. All they can provide is material things, creature comforts and a sense of security. Yes governments and unions can give you all the trinkets in life, make it easy for you to exist but they can't give you a life ! A life is something you must build for yourself. So go ahead enjoy your day off, a day without work, you earned it right ? The labor unions think so. So long as you stay in line, pay your dues and accept whatever the union or government offers, you'll be fine. You may even get to like it ! Fact is, after a while you will depend upon it. Is that something to celebrate ? 

life in portions

 When I started writing these blogs I had no idea that my sister kept a journal. Over the years we just haven't been that close to each other, location wise that is. Well I guess the truth of the matter is we weren't all that close for a number of years. There wasn't any animosity between us, we were just busy living our lives. I'm sure you know what I mean. We do tend to get involved in our own little worlds and get lost. She was in Germany for a time, married to an Air Force man and I was in the Navy, moving up and down the east coast. Anyway, she is still married to that Air Force man and they are now, long since retired, and living in Florida. Yes, I've retired also and my traveling days done. To make a long story shorter, we have been in touch with each other over the last ten years or so and making that brother, sister connection once again. It's a wonderful thing. She has confided in me her journal keeping habit. This is apparently something she has done for many years, far more than my blogging. I haven't read any of her journals and she hasn't offered them to me. That is fine as I get the impression they are more of a diary, of sorts, filled with personal thoughts and such. My blogs, on the other hand, are written with the " public " in mind. I'm telling my story and do not reveal all my thoughts. I will say this much, I don't have much to hide but, there are portions of the story that do not need to be told. Secrets aren't always bad things, sometimes secrets are nothing more than mistakes, and mistakes can be corrected.
 The same situation happened with my brothers, this disconnect over time and distance. They were busy doing their thing, while I was busy doing mine. By the time we had all caught up with one another we found we didn't share much in common. Isn't that a strange thing ? Oh sure we all grew up together, same parents, same town and all of that, but as adults we had little to share with one another. It was distance that came between us all. Had we all returned " home " the situation may have been different. Problem was the branches on our tree had spread out and we were all far from the roots. We really knew little of each others lives, having not shared them as adults. My oldest brother did live a mere twenty miles from me for the last twenty years of his life. I was a mere twenty miles from him and didn't visit nearly as often as I now wish I had. Just twenty miles but it just might as well have been a hundred and twenty. It was no fault of anyone, the only fault was time and distance. We were on different roads. My oldest brother is gone now and I miss his presence on the earth. I sometimes look into the night and see nothing but the darkness.
 My other brother lives in Georgia. It has been a few years since I saw him last. The story is much the same. He has been busy with his life and I with mine. He was the last to leave our hometown. His life seemed so stable to me but that fell apart somewhere along the way. I understand things happen, people change and choices are made. I have no idea of who, what, where, when or why. The story is his tell and he has chosen not to tell. Perhaps in time he will feel that need and perhaps not. We have begun to reestablish a connection with each other. Only time will reveal what is to come. He tells me he has written many stories about his youth and I am anxious to read them. He is anxious to share them as well. He hasn't gotten into the computer world just yet and so he will have to mail me those stories. I'm looking forward to that.
 There are times when I wish my life had been like a Hallmark movie holiday special. You know what I mean ? The family all together, having their issues, solving those problems, and living happily ever after. In the end everyone loving one another unconditionally. I do wonder if it is even possible. Families, siblings as adults, all together sitting around the dinner table, no fighting, no judging, no I told you so ? All is forgotten and forgiven. Sadly, in my case anyway, that could never happen because we haven't shared our lives. Just a few cards and letters over the years.
  Well, I think that life is best shared in small portions, at least that has been the case with me. I believe all is going according to plan. I have made my choices, traveled the roads I wanted to travel. Yes, there are times when I wish I had my siblings traveling that road with me, but that isn't how the highway ran. It looks like our paths are converging once again. There is a lot of road left ! We'll see where it goes together.  

soon enough

 The summer is winding down and the kids will be going back to school soon. This year my Morgan goes off to high school. Her brother will be taking his test for a drivers license on the 9th of September. That means he will be driving himself to school at least a few times this year ! Yes, you read that correctly, my grandson will be driving himself to school. How can that be ? It would seem that time once again has eluded me and slipped past the gate. On the bright side, all is progressing as it should and for that I am grateful. Even during these turbulent days since the election that have stretched into months, the majority of things have stayed the same. At least he isn't going to be driving a flying car to school ! That is one promise that hasn't come to fruition yet. I have seen a lot of other things arrive though. You know when I was a senior Texas Instruments began selling a pocket calculator and man I thought that was something. Just look what the kids can carry, in their pocket, to school these days. Simply mazing. I did take a certain satisfaction in buying the grandkids some school supplies this year. I bought the classics, #2 pencils, pens, and some notebooks, you know the composition type. I'm not certain how the kids felt about that but it gave me a warm feeling anyway. Nostalgic !  No backpacks this year and of course no lunch boxes ! I'm not certain when the lunch boxes went to the side, probably a few years ago.
 Of course the kids aren't nearly as excited to go back to school as in years past. The excitement and/or anxiety just isn't there anymore. Now it is, ho--hum. It is called adapting to life and we all do it. We try to maintain a certain level of excitement for our everyday lives but it is a difficult thing to do. I imagine even superstars get bored with their everyday activities. It would help to have unlimited resources to provide distractions. I can't see that lady that just won millions in the Powerball becoming bored anytime soon, know what I mean ? When you are that wealthy you can hire someone to have fun for you ! Yes, she is that rich. Seriously I do think it would be as simple as Forest Grump pointed out when he was telling that lady he was a " gazillionaire. " He said he had plenty of money and that was good, " one less thing " you know. Yes, that must certainly be a wonderful feeling not having to worry about your bills. One less thing for sure. We'll see what the school year brings, I'm certain there will be moments.
 With the beginning of another school year another chapter begins. Those " kids " are young adults now. I don't know ;  with the youngest one going to high school it just feels a little different this year. A Junior and a Freshman. The sister saying to her brother, you have to give me a ride to school changes the conversation a great deal. Yes, changes are on the way. I have always been told to embrace change but I'm thinking I would like to hold this off for just a while longer. Just a few weeks now till school opens. Maybe not even that. I'm not counting and the kids aren't either. It'll come soon enough is the attitude everyone here has. Have we all become that mature ? Must be that because I know I'm not that old. Surely those kids aren't that old. One thing I have learned over the years is, whatever comes your way will come of its' own volition. It will all come soon enough.        

sqeaking and squawking

 I have been using a seagull as my profile picture for a while now, I do think it is appropriate The other day when I wrote my post called " Quit Squawking " a friend pointed out that I do squawk a lot. It is a fair statement and I take no offense. I would also say there are times when I should just quit squawking, although that is unlikely as it is part of my nature. Some of us identify with the mountains, some with the sea. Apparently I identify with the gulls. I did enjoy the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull and still have a copy around here somewhere. He was a different sort of fellow, always questioning things. I'll take it.
 My own dearly departed father often compared me to a gull. He would say , " you don't do anything but eat, *hit and squawk. Looking back I can see where he got that impression at times. Hey, I was a kid once. I might have been worse if we had video games back then, Fortunately all we had was pong, and that got boring real quick. As a result I did spend a lot of time just asking questions and trying different things. Mostly I tried to be my father, which meant building things or repairing stuff. I even fixed stuff that didn't need fixing. As I result I did learn a broad variety of skills  although I profess no mastery of any one. I am the quintessential jack of all trades, master at none. No musical or artistic talent however. But I can squawk !
 Now having that pointed out to me, my inability to quit squawking, was a valid observation. I have given it some thought. I was writing about discretion and deceit. I admit I do forget about the discretion part a great deal. I'm thinking this blogger platform has liberated me somewhat. Liberated me from the basic tenets I was taught as a child. Is it progress ? Well not always is my response. And so I offer my apologies in advance for my indiscretions. In all fairness however I did include that warning in the description block for this blog. Have any of you taken the time to read that ? LOL, or have you glossed over it like those " terms of use agreements "  that pop up so often ? Be honest now. That isn't the first warning block I have had to include, there is one on a group I formed on Facebook as well. That became necessary when some other folks were offended by the mere posting on a link to this blog ! I wasn't aware that link was also a trigger ! But that is all water under the bridge so to speak. I hold no ill feelings toward anyone. I'll just keep on squawking though. Sometimes that squawk can turn into a screech ! I hate it when that happens. I'll try hard not to screech. On the other hand one does have to remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I do hear a lot of squeaking ! Those squeaks make me squawk ! It is a never ending cycle.  
   

Discretion or deceit

 Yesterday I was writing about polite company and how people behave in public compared to how they behave on social media. I do believe that we live in a far more socially aggressive society than in the past. That was my premise about being in polite company. You remember how your Mom would correct your behavior and " censure " your words. They were the lessons you received about being in polite company. Instructions on how to straighten up and fly right ! Sadly in my estimation those lessons are not being taught anymore, in fact, the opposite seems to be true. The object now seems to be , force your opinion upon others no matter what. Your feelings are far more important than what anyone else may be experiencing. Any " tempering " of your words, or " constraint " on your part is viewed as a weakness. It is a fight to the death !
 I have noticed this behavior is far more prevalent on social media than it is in society. That is a good thing, but I can also see it gaining in popularity in personal interactions. More people are apt to express themselves forcibly than in the past. I believe that started with the acceptance of crude, vulgar, and offensive adjectives in our everyday language. I could make the argument that it began when little Johnny started calling his mother Jane instead of Mom ! Mom having relinquished her position of authority over his actions. Hey, I'll leave that to a sociologist to figure out. They go to school for that sort of thing. It's none of my business. But my point here is that is what I think happened anyway. If you don't teach your children how to behave you can't expect good behavior. Of course we could just talk to them about all of that. Yeah, that's working out real well.
 What I was wondering about as I began this was whether people are more honest in person or on the internet ? It is certainly easier to be whoever you wish to be on the internet. I wonder if people choose to present themselves differently when they are unknown ? The question is, is that who you really are ? Only you know the answer to that question, everyone else is just guessing. The more exposure you allow, the greater the chance they will guess correctly. That is why you were taught restraint in polite company. You don't want people to think you're an animal do you ? Better to keep your cards close to the vest, to coin an old phrase. It is called discretion, although some feel it is deceit.
 Discretion is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense, or revealing private information. It's purpose is not to hide anything, rather to protect. Of course, later on, when certain things are revealed, one may feel deceived. So the question becomes when to exercise discretion, and is it ever acceptable to deceive. I would say it is always best to exercise discretion as its' purpose is not to harm anyone. On the other hand deceit is perpetrated. And if something is perpetrated that action is harmful, immoral or possibly illegal. That's never a good thing. That applies even if you are just trying to deceive yourself ! We call that delusional. There is a lot of that going around these days.
 I do think that we should be as honest as possible. Now I know I have a tendency to write differently than I speak. That isn't a conscious thing intended to deceive anyone but rather the way my brain seems to function. Or is that a malfunction ? Whatever the case, the words in my head come out differently when written, if that makes any sense at all. I wonder if some of you were to meet me in person if you would be disappointed. Well not disappointed really, but not what you expected is a better description. Would you feel deceived ? I certainly hope that wouldn't be the case. Our mental images of people can often deceive us. The reason is a basic one, we are all prejudiced. I know, we all deny that as prejudice is a bad thing. Fact is, it is only bad when proven to be so,if not, you exercised good judgement. And there is that word, judging. Don't judge ! But then again we do tend to think of judgement as a condemnation and why should that be so ? We all like it when the judgement goes in our favor don't we ? The judgement is a good thing. Strange how that works isn't it ? But I have begun to wander. I do think I have failed to exercise discretion adequately and for that much I apologize. I will try to be more discrete in the future.  

Quit squawking

 I was watching a video that had been posted on facebook. It was apparently recorded originally on film and then digitized. A wonderful thing. A comment was made about the way the people were dressed. It was a barbecue, but the people were all dressed very nicely. The ladies in their dresses and men in slacks and button down shirts. My immediate response to this comment was, " that was back when we shared polite company."
 I can remember my mother using that expression to instruct us children. You don't do that in polite company dear. One does not say things like that in polite company. After a while you came to understand that certain patterns of speech and behaviours were unacceptable in the general public. They may be tolerated or accepted at home but not in the general public.

One had to be accepted into anothers confidence before those actions were accepted. Only friends and family were exposed to the real you. It truly was a different time. I think an awful lot of that is lost in today's world. Now it is more of a, take me as I am, kinda world. No pretense, or being on your best behaviour. And that,on the surface would seem to be a good thing. Looking back though, I'm not so sure. Watching that little film clip took me back.

Back in time to a place were people cared for one another. Back to a time when people behaved cordially. Back to a time where one enjoyed " polite company."

You knew what was expected of you and what to expect of others. Occasionally someone would act out, usually as a result of overindulgence. Occasionally an altercation may happen. But, in general I think we were more civilized toward one another. We were a bit more restrained. 

I guess back in the day we were just a bit more subtle about things. Now it is shock and awe ! 

The past usually does seem better than today. We tend to forget about the bad days and recall mostly the good. That is the way most of us think. Nostalgia is always a good thing. In this case I think a return to " polite company " would do us no harm, and may just improve things a bit.

 In the case of social media the tables have been reversed. We tend to treat the ones we know with a bit more " polite tolerance " than strangers. Back in the old days the opposite was true. We were, as a rule, polite to strangers. We were instructed, as I mentioned, by our parents in the social graces. They called it behaving yourself, don't act like an animal ! But this social media is a no holds barred free for all. Problem is, as I see it, this has spread to society in general. It's an aggressive approach ! It is an aggression without consequence however. That is what the most aggressive ones of all are campaigning for. I can say and do whatever I want without consequence. That may be true on social media sites, but it ain't gonna work in the real world. Just turn on the news and you can see the proof of that. The government has even gotten involved with the defining of " hate speech. " It's a crime to say certain things in a certain way ! Back in the day however hate speech may be met with those occasional altercations I mentioned. It really was a risk and reward kinda thing. Is what you are about to say worth the risk ? Generally speaking it is was better to be polite, keep your opinion to yourself and move on. Birds of a feather and all that. When you get home, into the nest so to speak, you can squawk all you like. Do that stuff in public, in polite company, and you just might meet with some resistance.   

paying attenbtion

 The more stories I write, the more one thing comes to my attention, just how little I was paying attention. I'm thinking about when I was growing up and the things around me. In talking with my brothers and my sister I have learned there was a lot I missed. How could I have been so unaware ? I suppose I was just focused on the things that interested me at the time. My brothers being four and six years older than I had naturally moved on a bit by the time I was old enough to " hang " with. My sister ? Well, she is a girl you know so not so much fun. Oh, we had our time together when we were both younger, playing mud pies and such, but not so much later on.
 When I was a kid almost everything to do fun was outdoors. Indoors you could read, there was coloring books, you had toys and two channels on the television. I don't remember listening to the radio much. Yes, all the fun stuff was outdoors. I do remember playing with toy cars and trucks in the dirt out back. I make all kinds of roads and crawled around for hours on end. As I remember it, I was usually alone. It wasn't until I was older that I was allowed to leave the yard. Following that I was allowed to be within shouting distance. We didn't have street lights on the dirt road where I lived, it was be home by suppertime. Over the years there were other kids my age on that road and sometimes not. I'd say the neighborhood was " fluid " to use a modern term. That was because there was a " welfare " house on the end of it. That's what we called it back then, now it's affordable housing or section eight.
 What I have come to see is how much I missed. There was an entire " abandoned " settlement almost in my backyard. I never knew a thing about that until years later. Northwest was the woods. That's what I always thought but found out that it was really a village at one time. I had all that history to explore and never even took a peek ! Oh, I explored a few old barns that was in those woods, I saw some grave markers and some other things but never really gave it a thought. I played in soak hide dreen. I was told that Indians soaked their hides in that water before tanning them. I never looked for any artifacts though. Fact is, history was all around me. Now, I'm just amazed that I could have ignored all that. Is that what they call growing up ? If so, it stinks.
 I'd say I was really isolated in my youth. I wasn't really aware of that. I had my own little world. I didn't live uptown so my world was spread out a bit. Houses weren't all in a row like those upstreeters were. I didn't have sidewalks to skate on, that old tar and chip road was the best I had. No playgrounds or basketball courts for me, not unless I went uptown and that didn't happen often. I went " upstreet " to go shopping or to go to school. Like all kids the older I got the more freedom I was given. I did begin to roam and hang out upstreet. I still had best be home for supper though or call. I think it was that freedom to roam that caused the distraction. If I had stayed to the neighborhood I probably would have become aware and explored it further. I guess I am like the Waltons, only I left the mountain. I was drawn away by the lure of the big city ! Yes those bright lights beckoned to me like a moth to the flame alright.
 I wonder how many others feel the way I do ? There was so much history that I could have learned and explored. I had " guides " right there too. Great Grandfather Lester would surely have known all about Northwest and that little settlement. There were quite a few old timers that would have been glad to share their knowledge of the past with me. What discoveries might I have made if I had only looked ? That is what bothers me now. If I had only paid closer attention. Well, maybe next time.  

feeling empowered ?

 It's the buzz word of the decade: empowering ! How many times do you hear that term being used for everything and anything that happens ? I went to the dictionary, old habits die hard I guess, to look up the definition. Here is what that says, " make ( someone ) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights : " This thought came to mind as I was listening to the news this morning. They were talking with a few folks preparing to watch todays' eclipse. And yes, at least one person thought it would be empowering ! Exactly how that is going to be empowering I haven't figured out. How that could make you stronger, more confident in controlling your life or claiming your rights is a bit of a mystery to me, but then, I'm old. I still look to the dictionary for definitions.
 Now this concept of empowerment does rely upon feeling that something has been forbidden to you. It may also imply that you felt enslaved in some fashion. That is what the antonyms for empowered are, forbid or enslave. Again I used an old fashioned book called a thesaurus  to find that out. Interesting that synonyms listed number at least fourteen ! One that really jumped out at me was emancipate ! So, that one person felt like the solar eclipse would emancipate him ! Now that is exciting news and worth waiting for. He will be set free.
 I do wonder why so many feel so restricted in life ? Why should every positive thing that happens be empowering ? Is it the right choice of wording ? I can see it being reassuring. That makes more sense to me. When I do something that is pleasing to others, or has a positive effect I feel reassured. I may also feel encouraged. Neither of those words are listed as synonymous with empowered. Interesting that the word " entitle " is however. Could it be a sense of entitlement that has become so popular ? Is that why so many feel so empowered ? Just could be. Is it a subtle change in social consciousness ? That is a rather abstract concept that I like to think about. It is also something I feel many folks are just not aware of, or at the very least, not paying attention to. And why do I think that ? I think many are just too busy worrying about their own wants and needs, that's why. If you operate within that mindset I suppose everything positive happening to you would feel empowering ! Then the world becomes your enabler. That's another term that has gained in popularity; enabler. It's meaning is being altered and now implies a bad thing. If I am doing something wrong, something I shouldn't be doing perhaps, and you don't stop me, you're enabling me ! That means it is your fault as much as it is mine. You are an enabler ! Well I guess I would feel empowered by that after all. Shifting the blame will have that effect.
 Well I am somewhat of a word person. I just really enjoy saying what I mean. The most important thing to me is having others understand. I do try to express myself in a perspicacious manner. In so doing I have been called an aeolist.  Well what are you going to do ? I do seek reassurance and  acceptance from my fellow man. I believe both of those are normal and natural human needs. No man is an island, entire of itself,  according to the poet John Donne and I agree with him. Do I need to be empowered by you ? No, I don't feel that need at all. I feel no constraint because of you. Constraint is self imposed by the independent man. And maybe that is another piece of this social consciousness that many are missing. Are they feeling a sense of dependence rather than a feeling of independence ? Yes I think that just could be a piece of the puzzle. But there I go again being a philosophunculist. You see I don't really need your permission to do anything. Knowing that I also don't get that feeling of " empowerment " every time something happens. Most of the time I just take a smug satisfaction in knowing I was right. Probably the very reason I get called a philosophunculist.  

I've got time

 This isn't the first time I've felt like I was waiting for something. This happens to me every now and again. I feel like I'm waiting for something but have no idea what that something could be. It is similar to a change in the weather, it's uncertain, but my radar is going off. I can sense something is about to happen. Or, maybe not. Isn't that a frustration ? I do know from past experience it is also something you just can't force. All you can do is remain patient. On the bright side I have learned that patience comes with age. I find that a bit ironic. When you are young you are in a hurry, impatient to get on with whatever dreams you have. As you age you do learn not to be in such a hurry. You do learn to quietly accept the day and whatever that day has to offer. The irony ? The older you get, the less days you have to enjoy them. Well the emotions of youth are difficult to harness that is certain.
 Make it happen is a cry I hear often. I would say there is a time and place for that, but not now. I would only want to make it happen when I am certain of the result. Risk taker I am not. Oh, I don't mind taking some risk when ability is involved. I have faith in my abilities but not unbounded confidence. I do like to deal with reality, as I see it. There are many things that I would like to see changed in this world. I am aware that I can't change them all. With a little luck and " stick to it'ness " I can make a difference in at least one persons life. I'm certain of that. What more I can do is left up to fate to decide.
 We are each here for a purpose, I believe that. Whether or not I need to know that purpose, I haven't decided. I'll just have to remain patient. If I need to know it will be revealed. They always are, at least that is what I have read. There have been a few that claimed to have " found " their purpose, but I still think it was revealed, but they decided to take credit for it. I believe that because your purpose is a gift from your creator. It is what you are to do. You will do it regardless and it makes no sense to me that the creator would hide that purpose from you. He would have to hide it before you could find it, right ? Of course he could then reveal it after having hid it. I'll have to think more about that.
When it is revealed to you, is that also for a purpose ? What purpose could that be ? A reward perhaps. An acknowledgement by that creator of your worth ? Or is it just a way to motivate you to accomplish that task, that purpose, before your time runs out ? Some of us do need more encouragement than others. Those that require less are often called adventurous. There is a thin line between adventurous and reckless ! That is my thinking on that anyway. As I said I'm not much of a risk taker. That is why I'm waiting I suppose. I guess I should be glad I'm not in any hurry. If I felt rushed that might be a bad sign. I'll just look at it as, I've got time. I'll be patient. 

they started it

 Now I get it. You shouldn't hate anyone. Okay, that having been established what are we going to do about it ? I guess we could call those that hate names, maybe even throw a few rocks at them. Well I guess we could just decide to silence them all ! It seems to me that is just what is being proposed by some these days. Amazingly I am hearing this from our supposed leaders. It's a war against hate.
 Meanwhile, in the real world folks like myself understand one thing. Some people don't like us or what we have to say. The topic is not so important, choose anything you like. Does that mean that they hate us ? Hate is a strong word don't you think ? A strong dislike sounds better. Maybe we should eliminate a strong dislike, you know, nip that hate stuff in the bud. Oh what a wonderful world it would be if, just like that, for no particular reason, everyone stopped hating each other.
 Well, it ain't gonna happen folks. You can not fight a war against hate. If you want to fight, hate is a necessary ingredient. I'm not fighting against you because I like you !! How stupid does that sound ? I just can't believe we have adults, grown people, some with college educations running around saying such stupid stuff. Stop the hate ! Yeah, stop the rain and the sun from rising in the East while you're at it. All you are accomplishing is fueling that hate further, can't you see that ? Of course you can't because your eyes are red with rage ! Rage is hate out of control. That is what fuels these " protests " and " counter protests." Just let the other side have their say. If you don't like what they are saying turn and walk away. If you have already decided even before they speak that you don't like it, don't go to the protest ! How hard is that to understand ?
 This is America where the voice of the people is heard at the polls. Yes, that is how it works here. Yeah there are times when you don't like the result. I hear that some strongly disapprove of the last candidate that won a major election. Guess what ? He still won and is still the president whether you like it or not. Why ? Because that is how it works in America !!!!!! Myself I am sick and tired of all these folks acting like children. I didn't get my way so I'm going to throw a tantrum. I will destroy everything I own to prove my point, to get that one thing. I will destroy everything in this quest because I didn't get my way. And I can do that because they started it. I hear that a lot too. They started it. Who started what is my question. The American people made their choice known at the polls. Is that what started this ? A change in the tide. That is what started this current fervor. The status quo has been altered, it isn't business as usual.
 Although my political views are well known to those of you that read my postings on a regular basis, that last statement is neither an endorsement for the current administration, or a lamentation for the loss of the former. I am merely pointing out what I see as a fact. A whole lot of people in high places are very nervous. I don't care what political party you affiliate with, if you're a politician in Washington today, you are nervous. This new sheriff is a bit trigger happy. Sounds to me like he wants to clean house. As to whether it is a good thing or not I leave to your own judgement. Again I'm just pointing out what I see. There are also a whole lot of American citizens just as nervous. Why ? Because this administration is using a word no one wants to hear, accountability. Hey, they started it, remember ? Now you are going to tell me I will be held to account for the loans I took out, I have to actually work to earn a living, and worse still, people hate me. Well we can't have any of that. That isn't how things were going before this last election. I don't want to grow up.
 I guess we can just start taking down statues that will distract everyone for a while. It'll make others mad too. Then we can blame them for starting it. Never mind about Muslim terrorists, never mind about government corruption, never mind about health care, forgot all of that stuff, it's the statues we need to worry about. Those statues are fueling hatred ! After one hundred twenty years or more they are finally having the desired effect. Well because it was a plot all along you know. And just who erected the majority of these statues ? Democrats. Who is saying they are so offensive ? Democrats. And what an insidious plot it was. The Democrats have now gotten the very people that they attempted to keep subjugated, and indeed are still trying to do so, to be the very people crying about being offended ! Ya gotta love it. And now the cry is stop the hate. The best way to do that is how ? Just tell the other side to shut up. Call them names. They started it ! Remember when you were a kid and your Mother would holler at you and say, what's going on here ? The answer, they stared it ! Is there a right and wrong ? Doesn't matter at all as long as they started it.       

let sleeping dogs lie

 There was a commercial on television that for some reason brought back an old memory. This commercial had something to do  a canon or the south , something like that. Anyway, I was reminded of when I was a little guy and we were visiting with my cousin Gary. It was shortly after Christmas and Gary had received the Johnny Reb Canon as a gift. This was a pretty cool toy. It came with a Johnny Reb hat, a flag, the ramrod and canon balls ! You just put that canon ball into the end of the barrel, ram it home until the spring was cocked and you were ready to go to war ! All we needed was to find them Yanks. Well we spotted one, bivouacked in the kitchen. Oh, he was a shaggy one and sound asleep. It was his dog, Spunky but you know how kids are. So we took careful aim and fire ! It was a direct hit. Spunky, I mean that Yank jumped up off that floor and took off a runnin'. That's those yellow bellies for ya. We took off chasin't after him towing that canon behind us. As we entered the forest, the living room, spunky ran under the chair my Uncle was sitting in. Well, the General wanted to know just what the heck was going on. When he got the intel that we had shot Spunky with that Johnny Reb canon he wasn't pleased at all. The pair of us was demoted to corporal. That became our names, Corporal Punishment ! Yes sir, we received instruction on the proper treatment of animals that afternoon. We were even threatened with being shot with a canon ! A belt across the backside was all we got though but it was enough. I remember it clearly. The General administering the punishment and my father being witness to it all. Afterward I had to leave in shame. Definitely a lesson I took to heart. And that is the Johnny Reb story.
 Given todays political climate I was doubly reminded of this incident. I couldn't help but wonder what would be said today. I expect you couldn't buy a Johnny Reb canon anymore, too offensive I suppose, in more than one way ! I mean we knew that a canon was an offensive weapon, what we didn't know was that flag was too. And remember this took place when I was a child , living on the eastern end of Long Island, not exactly confederate territory. I guess my cousin and I were just rebels at heart. Fought a lot of Nazis back then as well, and Indians of course. Learned quite a bit about all of them over the years. No, it wasn't always as it seemed, history being written by the victors and all. But it was history and was done with. At the end of the day, when we were done playing, we returned to reality not expecting anything from the past. If anything, the past we were taught reinforced our behavior in the future. We learned that there was good and bad in the past. We learned that we could change the future by eliminating the mistakes of the past. One of them that I learned was, don't shoot at a sleeping enemy ! He just night run and get reinforcements ! Best advice, let sleeping dogs lie.   

Taney ? Who's Taney

 I asked the question on social media the other day, who is Taney ? I requested that no one google the answer because I was curious. I did receive several replies of, I don't know and I haven't a clue. That is pretty much what I expected. I know I had to look that up myself. So, I'm not claiming to be so intelligent and informed as to know all this stuff. Anyway, Roger Taney was a Supreme court judge in 1857. Hey, we all knew that right ? In fact it was Taney that wrote the majority decision in the Dred Scott case. Yes, he agreed with six other justices that the Congress had violated the Constitution of the United States. At the time, it was only the second time in history that had occurred. Yes, Taney and six of his fellow judges were of the opinion that Dred Scott could not sue for his freedom. Their opinion was that he was not a citizen and therefore not entitled to that privilege. I went on to read about the decision and what Taney's opinion was and why he felt that way. It was a strict interpretation of the law that much is certain. And Taney did the same as all Judges do, he formed his opinion as to just what the documents before him meant. He cited the Constitution as evidence and guess what ? He said, this is what I think it means. Anyway, we can all agree now that Taney and his six colleagues were on the wrong side of that decision. In fact , eleven years later in 1868 the fourteenth amendment was ratified giving full citizenship to all African-Americans, to use the language of the day. So why did I ask who he was ? Well, because it has been proposed and now decided upon to remove his statue from the court house at Annapolis, Maryland. He is offensive !
 So just who was Roger Taney ? This is what Wikipedia says about him : Taney, a Jacksonian Democrat, was made Chief Justice by Jackson.^[A] He inherited slaves from his father but manumitted them and gave pensions to the older ones.^[2] He believed that power and liberty were extremely important and if power became too concentrated, then it posed a grave threat to individual liberty. He opposed attempts by the national government to regulate or control matters that would restrict the rights of individuals. From Prince Frederick, Maryland, he had practiced law and politics simultaneously and succeeded in both. After abandoning the Federalist Party as a losing cause, he rose to the top of the state's Jacksonian machine. As Attorney General (1831–1833) and then Secretary of the Treasury (1833–1834), and as a prominent member of the Kitchen Cabinet, Taney became one of Jackson's closest advisers, assisting Jackson in his populist crusade against the powerful Bank of the United States.
 It says he inherited slaves from his father but manumitted them. Manumitted means, he set them free. He even gave pensions to the older ones. Sounds like a terrible person doesn't he ? He was against " big government " and the concentration of powers. He served as attorney general and secretary of the Treasury. Yes this man is certainly offensive. Just what was his offense ? He issued an opinion, his opinion that six other Justices agreed with. Agreed it was a bad opinion, one I don't agree with, but I ain't a Judge in 1857 either ! Do I care about Taney or his legacy ? Nope, not really but I care about what is fair and just. The man did his job and issued his opinion. That is what a Judge, especially a Supreme Court Judge is supposed to do impartially and based solely on the rule of law ! He did that to the best of his ability. And now, because of that his statue is to be removed, he is to be disgraced because of his considered opinion. Well if we are going to apply that standard every Supreme Court Justice that every agreed with or issued an opinion contrary to what we believe today has to be removed. No statues, no pictures, no monuments of any kind ! How many Justices of the Supreme Court said, women can't vote ! If they didn't voice opposition to that restriction that is just as good as supporting it ! That is what I hear people saying today.
 Look I really don't care about these statues and monuments. I do care about what is fair and just. Civil war monuments depicting generals or the common foot soldier represent one thing, U.S. Veterans ! That was declared so by congress in 1958. Are we now going to say that all supreme court justices that agreed with that decision should have their statues removed ? If not, how is that fair to Taney ? Silence is consent remember. My point here being this; How many people even knew who Taney was ? How many knew anything more about him than he had something to do with the Dred Scott case ? The only reason he is even remembered is because he was on the wrong side of an opinion ! Sure, that opinion was followed by a civil war ! Yes, in 1868 eleven years after that opinion was issued the fourteenth amendment was ratified. The Congress of the United States told Taney and his six colleagues that they were wrong ! And that is the basis for all of this ?
 All I can say about this nonsense is what Jesus had to say, " Let he who is without sin ,cast the first stone. " And that my friends is not intended as a religious statement but rather as sound advice. Who among you can say, I've never made a bad decision, a poor choice or had a bad opinion ? The very people decrying how offended they are being without fault altogether ? What hypocrisy, what unmitigated gall !      

keeping us informed

 The big solar eclipse is coming up. Are you planning on watching ? I expect I will try to catch a glimpse, although I doubt I stand and watch the whole event. I haven't purchased my " eclipse " glasses yet. I chuckle when I hear that, sorry can't help it. I'm just scratching my head that the media feels it such a necessity to warn us of staring at the sun. Really, do they believe that there are that many people that are so stupid ! Look, every stare directly into the sun ? Not for long, I didn't think so. Ah, geez why do we wear sunglasses ? I guess we just want to be fashionable right ? It wouldn't be that we want to shield our eyes from the sun would it ? No, we put our sunglasses on so we can stare directly into the sun ! Well, we do if we want to watch a total eclipse of the sun. Hey, you could do that with a welders helmet too. Yeah, I have one and will take a look through that for thirty seconds or so. What I mean is, how long do you have to look at something to see it ? The moon will travel across the face of the sun. The only real thing to see is when it reaches totality, that's pretty cool. But at totality you can look at it without any glasses because the sun is blocked ! Duh. When the moons moves past the sun, the light will shine again and hurt your eyes. When your eyes are bothered by the light, look away !
 I confess I had to look up the year as I couldn't recall it. But in was 1963 that a total eclipse of the sun occurred and was visible on the eastern end of Long Island. We didn't have any such thing as " solar glasses " that could be purchased. I do remember we were taught how to safely view the eclipse. It involved using a shoe box, a small mirror, and a white piece of paper. That's right, instead of being told to buy a set of glasses we were taught how to build a device of our own. Imagine that, instead of the government, radio, television, social media and everyone else telling us if you stare directly  into sun you will go blind, they taught us how to do that safely: without buying anything ! That's right, it wasn't a money making opportunity, it was an educational one. Truth be told all us kids back in '63 knew that staring into the sun hurt your eyes. we really didn't need to be told that. We also knew that hot things were, well hot and would burn you, no warning label required. But that was in a different America, when most of us had common sense anyway. The stating and/or publication of the obvious wasn't considered " educated " or " progressive. " We knew stuff like, you shouldn't call each other names, you shouldn't hate people, and mostly that if you do any of that, you would be held accountable. Yup, back then it didn't matter a hoot what had happened to your great great grandparents, you had to deal with today. But I digress.
 Well, truth is we were told to not stare at the sun. Everyone surely listened because I have never heard of a single case of someone getting their eyes burned out from staring at the sun ! Not one, I tell you. Imagine meeting a blind person and you asking, what happened. I watched the eclipse without my glasses on. I have heard that there people out there selling " fake " glasses. You have to be careful I guess. I'm thinking I will know right away if they don't work. My eyes will bother me. I'll just look away when that happens. It's kinda like getting your hand to close to a fire, you have a tendency to pull back. I wonder of they have put warning signs up by the campfires yet, warning fire can be hot and burn you ! I wouldn't be a bit surprised. Won't be long before the weather turns and we will get those warnings, it's cold outside, keeping us informed. Ya gotta love it. 

Just pictures on the wall

 I have quite the collection of photographs hanging on my walls. I am fortunate that I have a great deal of the older ones handed down to me for safekeeping. I'm also lucky to have a wife that indulges this habit of mine, I just love having all those ancestors on the wall. I have been working on the family tree for a number of years and can identify who is who. I haven't sent off for one of those DNA test kits yet but most likely will some time in the future. That part of it is only of a casual interest to me. Yes it could provide some information that could be of use. I'm not that interested to know where all my ancestors may come from or, at the least, who they may have slept with. Genetics doesn't define a person. Something I believe too many people are getting confused about these days. But I'm not going to go into all of that right now.
 The other day I decided to rearrange those photos on the wall. I had put them up in what I envisioned as a casual setting. I didn't want it to look like I had hung them all at the same time so they were scattered about. Anyway, I took them all down and rehung them somewhat according to size and in pretty much a straight line. I wasn't so involved that I got out the level and all that, but they are somewhat ordered now. You know how it gets when you get accustomed to things a certain way ? How you don't pay much attention. After rearranging them I am drawn to them again. It's the same people, it just that they have moved. What's more they have new neighbors. I find myself looking at them and calculating their relationship to one another. Whereas in the past Great Grandmother may have been next to my Aunt she is now next to my cousin ! Really it is a mental exercise to figure out how one is related to the other. There are maternal and paternal connections to be made. Included on my wall are my grand nieces and nephews, grandchildren, and third great grandparents of mine. Seven generations are represented ! Of course some of these folks are my wife's' family as well. Her sisters and brothers are in the mix. Why you could say it is a regular catalogue of ancestors and descendants. I believe I have counted forty six pictures on those walls and that is just a mere sampling of the family tree. You really aren't aware of just how many direct relatives you have until you start counting.
 I do enjoy these photographs. Many of them are people I knew or have known. I look at them and remember places and times. There are a number of pictures of people I never knew. They were either distant by time or location. I look at those pictures and imagine. What were they like ? They don't seem as ghosts to me, more like they are waiting. I do think I will meet them all one day. I'll have an eternity to do that. For now it is a challenge to remember all their names and their relationship to me. To some they are just pictures on the wall, but not to me. Pictures contain our mortality.  As long as the photograph exists, so too the person. If you can call them by name, they surely live.

before

after 

Excuse the mess, that's my little corner and I like it that way. 

Tell me that

 Let's all take a deep breath and think for just a moment. Just what is it we are fighting about ? Are we really fighting about monuments ? Are we really fighting about what injustice took place over 150 years ago ? Are we really fighting because sometimes life just isn't fair ? Yes there is a deep divide in America no doubt about that. What is it that will bridge that divide ? Can we stop fighting long enough to think about that ?
 I'm a man that will fight for what I believe in. I will fight for a cause. What I want to know right now is, what is the cause ? What is going to be accomplished ? Can anyone tell me that ? I don't think anyone can because there is no goal, no end result. You can not change the way people think by having a war ! All you can do in war is kill each other ! Oh sure, you can claim victory when your enemy no longer fights back. You can then stick your chest out and with a collective smugness say, I won. Yeah, and how long does victory last ? How long before the defeated rise up tp try again. This happens over and over again throughout history and it will continue. Are we seeing the brink of another civil war in America ? The last civil war wasn't about black and white either, that was just the fuel used to start the fire. That civil war was about commerce. Are we going to let that happen all over again ?  Have we learned nothing in 150 years ? Apparently many have not and refuse to face reality !  I hear the cries of we will fight for our cause, but no one is saying what that cause is ! Sounds familiar doesn't it, if one reads history. And if that war is fought all over again does anyone really believe that it would change anything at all ? I mean, do they really ?
 Am I to pick sides based on the color of my skin ? Is that going to be the qualification ? And not just the color of my skin but my ethnicity as well ? If that is to be the case I want to know why ? Why should I fight because I am white ? Why should I fight because I am black ? Why should I fight at all ? What is the objective here ? How and what do we " win ? " What is the measure of satisfaction that we require ? Is it money ? Is it land ? Is it possessions ? Just what is the measure ? Pride ? I'm proud of the color of my skin. I'm proud on my nationality. I'm proud of my ethnic background. I'm proud of what my ancestors accomplished. I'm so proud of all of that I am willing to just throw it all away ! Tell me, somebody tell me, what is the measure !!!
 What is the measure of a man ? That is the question here. In the end we always resort to the primitive don't we ? Who can beat up whom ! The alpha male is dominant , he is the leader of the pack for one reason  and one reason only. He can beat up everybody else. It doesn't require any rhyme or reason for that action, it is primal. He can also control the pack that follows him, strength in numbers. For a pack to split another must challenge that dominant male. The true fight remains the same, maintaining the integrity of the pack. We are all Americans, all of the same pack. Who is the leader of the pack ? The President of the United States is the answer to that question. And that answer doesn't change when the name of the President does. Abraham Lincoln was faced with a civil war and managed to keep the pack together. He was assassinated for his efforts. Was he popular ? Not at the time he wasn't, but he " won. " If he had lost, history would certainly have a different view of him.
 I'm not saying that Trump is a Lincoln. The point I am trying to make is this, We are all Americans, we are all members of the same pack. If we expend all our energy fighting among ourselves how are we going to defend ourselves against our real enemies ? Yes, it is a fight for survival. All fights are based on that premise, to survive and to dominate. And so I ask again, what is the goal ? How do we measure success or failure ? I don't care what " side " of the fight you are on the question remains the same, when you win, then what ? Tell me that.       

Everyone was wrong

 After watching the evening news and seeing what transpired in Virginia I am left with a sense of foreboding, menacing and dark. It is an uncomfortable feeling and one I am not used to. One I hope I never get used to. I can't help but wonder how people can stoop to such depths and yet feel justified in doing so. Have we become some third world nation where riots in the streets, armed conflict among the citizens and government intervention is a daily occurrence ? I am left totally incredulous. I can only condemn the whole thing !
 Yes there are two sides in every fight and both sides share equal responsibility but that doesn't excuse the fight. The main stream media is highlighting the white supremacists as the cause of the violence. That very well may be the truth, I really can't say. That these so called alt-right or white supremacists, whatever they are supposed to be, surely don't speak for me. This chaos this mayhem was fueled by the city's choice in removing another confederate monument. Robert E Lee I believe is what they said. Now I do not agree with the removal of these monuments for the simple reason they represent history. I feel that way regarding all monuments in this country. It makes little difference whether they are for Veterans, scholars, leaders or just ordinary folks. You can't hide history in a museum or warehouse somewhere and to try to do that is just foolish. Still that in no way justifies the actions that took place, not in any way, shape or form !
 Being a man of faith, as imperfect as that may be, I do pray that this was just an aberration. I pray that something like this never happens again. All the while I pray I know I am asking for a miracle. There is a deep division in America. A division that needs to be healed. It will not be healed by picking at the wounds. I'm just a common man doing the best I can to get along in the world. I attempt to explain, in my faltering way, what I think, what I believe to be true. I don't believe the majority of Americans want anything to do with this sort of insanity. I hope this incident can serve as a wake up call, an impetus to have a honest and open dialogue with each other. This isn't just about black and white. This is about cultural identity. Some experts on television were calling it growing pains. America is experiencing growing pains. Let us all pray that this growth doesn't kill us all, that it doesn't kill America ! That wasn't America I saw in the news, I will pray for America's return. It is up to each and every one of us, regardless of race, creed or religion. I hear much talk of " identifying " and what we identify ourselves as. First and foremost I identify myself as an American. I have no apologies to offer, no placing of blame. Everyone, was wrong ! Everyone, was wrong !  

History is the precedent

  We should all be working for the common good, isn't that what we are taught ? In order to do that we would need a common goal. Does the United States of America have a common goal ? If so, just what would that goal be ? Remember the common good includes everybody, not the things that you want on a personal  level. So just what is that common  good, the goal we are striving mightily to reach ? Has it remained unchanged since the beginning ? That goal being to live free ! And just what are we trying to be free from ? Oppression is the answer. We want to be free from oppression. When we are denied the things we want we label that oppression. At least that is what we call it now, but I say that wasn't always so. There was a time in America when we call that temperance. Temperance is a personal action, a moderation or restraint from doing whatever we feel, when we feel like doing it. The reason for our temperance was a simple one, it was for the common good. Personal needs and desires were set aside in favor of the common good.
 As I often pontificate, you can not legislate morality. It is morality that establishes the common good, the common goal. That is why religion plays such an important role in establishing an identity. Although it is deeply denied and argued that the United States is not a Christian nation I beg to differ. We most certainly are and always have been. We must remember that even the founding fathers were men and politicians to boot. The politicians and lawyers haven't changed all that much over the last two hundred years. Laws have been written, mostly to whose benefit ? Were they for the common good ? Certainly seems that way on the surface of things and I do believe that is the way it started out. The Constitution and the Bill or Rights are pretty much self explanatory in my opinion. Of course the lawyers have been making a living off of interpreting those documents ever since. That is one thing that will never change. What do lawyers do ? They argue, that is their sole occupation. Over time they have even managed to convince most of us how educated they are, learned is the term they like to utilize. I also suspect it is the reason they like to use Latin terms a lot, keep us all confused. The fact is, those universal truths that lawyers like to argue about have remained unchanged since the ancient people wrote them down, in Latin. The only thing that has changed is the way they are interpreted. Yes, that is what it says but that isn't what it means being at the core of all this. I write this not to disparage the profession of Attorney but merely to point out something I have observed.
 The purpose of a lawyer is to argue. Well the goal is to win that argument on the behalf of your client. One method used is to cite examples from the past. Precedents I think they call them. The argument being that is the way it worked before, and so should work that way now. It is usually pretty tough to overturn a precedent. About the only way to do that is to show the injustice in that precedent. Injustice is tied to morality. Somehow the attorney has to display some quality that shows his side of the argument is the only moral choice. Morality and justice ? Aren't they one and the same ? I believe that they are. So how can I win my case ? I can do so only by the absence of a moral precedent ! That can only be accomplished by the absence of religious belief. And it is that action that I see taking place in America right now. The removal of morality. It has always been there, that is why we swear upon the Bible isn't it ? " I swear to tell the truth so help me god ! " Why, because God is the final judge, the final authority on our morality. Yes and now it is acceptable to substitute the word swear with affirm. Some were offended by using the word swear, it was argued, on religious grounds. I don't swear ! And now I see the removal of all moral precedents as the agenda. That is how we can win the argument. The question being, is it for the common good ? And I have to answer with a resounding, no.
 Did we ever have a common goal, this land we call America ? I'd say we did indeed. That goal was to live free from oppression. The goal wasn't to just do whatever we felt like doing. The goal wasn't for life to be fair, that was to left to providence. No, we were to live a temperate life. Each man was to progress according to his own efforts. Each man was to work for the common good. Charity was a moral action, not a judicial one. You can no more legislate charity than you can morality. Both are tied to religious belief. It has always been in the Gods we choose, and the manner in which we worship them that nations found a commonalty. History is the precedent. If there is a complete absence of religion can we expect a different result ? Truth is you can't legislate faith or belief. What we really need to do is decide. Sadly I can't see that happening anytime soon. It hasn't happened in thousands of years, at least not on a global scale, but perhaps it will one day. Maybe that world will be called America. It's a beautiful dream isn't it ?  

to what end

 To what end ? That is a question I feel most of us struggle with. We go about our daily lives, doing the things we feel compelled to do, but to what end ? Are we here to merely reach an end ? Is the reward an eternity of " happiness ? " Seems like there should be more to it than that. Just what that purpose could be is our struggle. This life, our existence, has to be more than a means to an end. That is my feeling anyway.
 It doesn't seem reasonable to believe all of this is just to reach an end. There has to be a greater purpose. Am I integral to that purpose ? I want to think so, to believe that, although it grows increasingly difficult with each passing year. That isn't to say my belief in God has weakened, quite the contrary in fact. It is just that it grows harder to believe that my absence will alter much of anything. I have walked through the cemeteries and seen all those lying there in silence. How many of those folks are remembered ? It isn't a big number, most lie in anonymity. They have reached their end, and to what purpose ? Did they all accomplish whatever their purpose was ? The easy answer is yes. That answer makes us all feel better somehow. Thing is, we have free choice. Did they, am I, choosing to do what was intended ? How can I know the answer to that question ? In the end I will die. Will it be revealed to me when that occurs ? Is that the " light " I hear about ? And what if I find out I didn't do what was intended ? Does that mean banishment from happiness ? Is it an eternity of sadness ? Or is it as some believe, you come back until you get it right, until you learn to listen ?
 Now all of this sounds a bit glum but that is not the intent. I am just thinking about purpose. We all have to have a purpose, right ? If we didn't, what would be the point ? That is why the question, to what end ? We all know those people that appear to have figured out their purpose in life. These folks are artists, performers, athletes, chefs, writers or whatever. We often call them driven. I wonder what drives them. Whatever is driving me can't seem to stay on the road ! It is for that reason I wander. I have traveled the by-ways in life and returned to the main highway only when it became necessary. What is the destination ? Where am I going ? I don't have an answer for either one of those questions. I'll end, that much is certain. To what end ? That's the big question.
 I can't help but wonder if we are starting to dwell more on the means, than the end. The means is what we do to reach that end right ? The end is what we want however, the means is just a way to get there. The means are a necessary thing, a requirement. So in order to define those means we really do need to know the end. The end we pray for is eternal happiness, at least it is for the religious minded individuals among us. The means to reach that end are clearly defined in our theological texts and manuscripts.
 What of those that do not believe in a life after death ? What is their end ? If it is merely to die would the " means " make a difference ? I'd have to say no. It doesn't make any difference at all. Well at least as far the individual goes it shouldn't. It is just an end without any purpose at all. Well unless you believe your purpose is solely confined to this earth, this existence, than it could make a difference I suppose. To believe that you must also believe that you do have a purpose. If you have a purpose just who or what determines that purpose ? That's a bit of a problem. In that case you do have to ask yourself, to what end ?



  

Truman, Ike and Trump

 What to do about North Korea ? That is what is on my mind this morning as I sip my coffee and contemplate the world. You know the Korean war officially ended seven days after I was born, Yes, it was July the twenty seventh nineteen hundred and fifty three. On that day the armistice was signed. Did you know it may have been the threat , by then President Eisenhower, to use nuclear weapons that brought the North Koreans and China to the table ? Yes, that's right, Ike threatened to use a nuclear bomb to speed things up. Remember it had been just seven years and eleven months since we dropped the bomb on Nagasaki. Less than a decade and the memory was clear in the mind of the world. It can't be stated with certainty that it was that threat that was the deciding factor but it seems likely. Has President Trump repeated that threat ? To the North Koreans I'm certain that is what it sounds like. Well, they started it ! And doesn't that sounds like an immature statement involving world politics ? This really is a precarious time and being nervous about it all is justifiable. One wrong move, one action misconstrued, and extremely serious consequences could be the result. I just wonder what North Korea hopes to accomplish with all this bravado. The bigger question is, do we allow North Korea to continue " building a better bomb " that will jeopardize the world ? Another Nuclear power ?
  I'm no historian or authority on the Korean war or just what North Korea was trying to accomplish other than the spread of communism. It was a political war. The United States agreed to help South Korea keep its' independence from communist rule and so joined the fight. With our help we had pushed the commies back to the 32nd parallel and China was getting worried that we would invade their territory. China joined in to help there communist brothers. At the time we were still calling our involvement a police action. I'd say that is the position we are taking right now, acting like the police as far as North Korea building any more nuclear capability. Technically we are still at " war " with them as no peace treaty has ever been signed. That's right, it is still just a cease fire. All of this is just a repeat. They say history repeats itself and I can certainly see evidence of that. I was there for Operation Desert Shield/ Desert Storm when we drove Iraq out of Kuwait. Then ten years later we were right back there , in the middle east, fighting those Iraqis again. Fact is, we still are fighting in the middle east.
 I just don't know what to think about this latest development. Sounds like Trump is saying we will strike first and strike decisively if North Korea doesn't knock it off. Will the threat work again ? I can't see any sane man willing to enter into a nuclear conflict. No doubt it is the most powerful weapon one can wield, but do you ? It is a strategic problem of monumental magnitude. When we used our bombs in WW2 no one could retaliate in kind. It was a knockout blow and the rest of the world, namely Japan, had to utter those words, " no mas. " Certainly any reasonable people would say that about the use of nuclear weapons in general. We should use them " no more. " But the cat is out off the bag in a manner of speaking, Pandora's box is open. So just what do we do about that ?
 If the United States decides to strike I can only pray that it is with conventional weapons. We certainly have the capability to unleash " fire and fury " like the world has never seen before with conventional weapons. As I said, I was there for Desert Shield/ Desert Storm and saw a little bit, first hand, of what we are capable of doing with conventional missiles, rockets, bombs and naval gunfire. I don't think China would stand idly by however and what about Russia ? It is all a very complicated situation when dealing with world politics. I am praying that no action is necessary and cooler heads will prevail. Just how North Korea can " save face " is the most difficult piece of the puzzle.
 Like I said, I'm no historian and certainly no expert on world politics. It just struck me as rather ironic that Trump should hint at using nuclear weapons as a means to stop North Korea developing its' nuclear arsenal any further. General Dwight D Eisenhower was the president when I was born and used that threat to end the " police action " and the memory of that destruction was still fresh in the minds of the world. Have we forgotten ? Has North Korea and China forgotten ?
 " Both Truman and Eisenhower quite seriously issued nuclear threat against China. On Nov. 30, 1950, President Truman announced at the news conference that "he is prepared to authorize the use of atomic weapons in order to achieve peace in Korea". Truman refuses to rule out atomic weapons - Nov 30, 1950 - HISTORY.com President Truman’s statement of “active consideration of its (nuclear) use” shocked the world and even sent British Prime Minister Clement Attlee to Washington to express his serious concern. "
 That is called nuclear blackmail by some historians and others call it a form of extortion. When those threats were issued the United States had far more bombs than China or Russia. We did hold the upper hand, if there is such a thing in this situation. That isn't the case now. Will this bully tactic work? I hope so. And this isn't about Trump, this is about what to do about North Korea. Truman, Ike and Trump ? History does have its' strange twists and turns. All we can do is wait. 

permission

 What would you say is the biggest thing you have ever done without getting permission ? Well, I guess that would depend upon your relationship situation. If you are married or in some other form of committed relationship you know what I mean. You do need " permission " even when that permission is not vocalized. I'm not certain what bachelors or bachelorettes do. Are they solely responsible for their choices ? I admit that is a bit of a scary thought, at least as far as I am concerned that is. I may not always like it, but I do require guidance on occasion. Let's just call it a " tempering " of my actions. Mistakes have been avoided ! Of course there is something to be said for just doing your own thing.
 Maybe it isn't permission, but a testing of the waters so to speak. If you want a smooth voyage in life it is best to avoid the tempest. Good old Shakespeare wrote a play called the tempest. That play was about forgiveness and freedom. I can't say as I recall all the characters names but at least one of them wound up on an Island after sailing through a storm. The details are a little foggy but in the end there was forgiveness for wrongs committed and freedom from that island. At least I think that is how it goes but the point is, avoid the storm if you can. It is a good idea to get permission first. Makes for a smoother relationship all the way around. Remember guys, the girls are in charge of that ! That would be my advice to my sons and grandsons, never forget that. If you want to be a superhero or the big romantic figure that's fine, just get permission first.
 I don't have one but I expect that is the purpose of a man cave. A place where you are allowed to have some freedom from the social graces. After all, that is what men want to do right ? We like to pass gas, tell crude jokes and watch sports ! That is exactly why it is called a cave ! We men are just barbaric creatures. Well, the ladies have decided it is kinda cute so we can have our little caves now. Not too many years back it would have been the garage or workshop, those areas were the domain of men. That was where the cigarette smoking, beer drinking and certain magazines would be found. Somewhere along the line the ladies started doing all those things, not the magazines so much, but the rest of it. They have even joined in with the " salty " language. But even with all that they have not relinquished control of the relationship. Step out of bounds boys and you will soon find that out.
 In more recent times I've been hearing about she sheds. I know at least one lady that has one, apparently used for her creative pursuits. Isn't that what a sewing room was used for ? Uh oh, I could get in trouble for that sexist remark, I'm sorry. I must remember that sewing, knitting, darning, and cooking are not necessary life skills for the ladies anymore, they are " crafts. " To even suggest such could get me in trouble. I might wind up in the dog house ! It doesn't matter if you rent or own, every home comes with a dog house. Men know where that is. Ever notice how a woman never winds up in the dog house ? It is an observation I have no explanation for. It is like your home. Sure, it's your  alright until that moment she says, " not in my house you won't. " You also don't get to pick the colors. Decorative items are also prone to review and approval. Hey, that's a eight point buck that I shot when I was just eighteen ! You can hang it in the garage ! No sense in discussing that any further, permission denied.
 I have learned that it is best to get permission over the years. The reason for that is a simple one. By getting permission you do have an avenue of escape . If things don't work out well she then has to share the blame. It is really that simple. You don't want to be solely responsible for anything. Not if you want a peaceful marriage anyway. If a guy makes a, shall we say, error in judgement that is never going to be forgotten. Nope, it is a bludgeon to be applied whenever or wherever it becomes necessary. When the sentence begins with, I remember when, you just know it isn't going to turn out well for you. Strange thing is if a woman makes a , shall we say, error in judgement that is to be viewed as cute. Forgiveness is immediate and the incident is never to be mentioned again.  Another inexplicable fact of life.
 Of course all of this is just tongue in cheek. I really don't believe any of it. All relationships are based in compromise. It is only through love and understanding that we form that lasting bond. The real secret to a lasting marriage is based in respect and understanding. Oh, and the husband saying these important words often and with heartfelt conviction, yes dear. Honey, is it alight if ? 

for pleasure or profit

 You may have heard. The city of Baltimore called for a 72 hour cease fire. That's right activists groups asked the crooks and criminals to stop shooting each other for 72 hours. It almost worked too, only two people killed over the weekend. They are calling it a victory. So far this year something like 240 individuals have been shot and killed in the streets of Baltimore. Isn't that a staggering statistic ? So the cease fire was called. Now just exactly who the cease fire was between wasn't clearly defined in the news. What I am left wondering about is just who controls that ? Was it just a general plea to all criminals and thugs to quit shooting ? Then, all but at least one did ? If that is the case find that one person, lock him up, and ask the rest to stop it !
 A cease fire. That is always associated with a war. What war is being raged in Baltimore. It isn't a war against drugs, it is a war to get drugs !That is what the majority of the violence concerns. The buying, selling, and controlling of the drug market. All of the underlining causes are being used to explain this, except for the true one, greed. It is money and the making of it that drives this business and it is business. Yes the media and everyone else calls it the war on drugs. Well you can't kill drugs. You can't stop people from buying, selling, or in some cases manufacturing those drugs. Not when there is so much money to be made. The big drug companies aren't much different. You are forced to pay whatever price they wish to set. The drug dealers in the street are doing the same thing. It is simply a matter of supply and demand. What we need to wage war against is that demand.
 It is the source of that demand that we need to address. The common ones are poverty, a feeling of helplessness, despair, social status and discrimination. All those things create a demand for an escape. The drugs provide that escape. That is what the phycologists will tell you. The liberals will tell you to just give those folks everything and that will solve the problem. It is the democratic solution. Some will tell you it is the Christian thing to do as well. If society provides for their needs they will quit using drugs. That is the narrative there, plain and simple. I don't agree. You can give them all of that and all that will happen is that that will demand more. What needs to be done is the removal of desire. Yes, we need to teach abstinence ! Yes, we do need to deny ourselves. All our Gods demand one thing, obedience. What is obedience ? It is the denial of our own pleasure to satisfy that of another.
 The issue here lies with what, or to whom should we all be obedient ? Is it for ourselves, our families, our communities, our country or our God ? That is what needs to be answered. That has always been what needed to be answered. Man has been obedient to Kings, Emperors, Monarchs, Dictators, Marxists, Fascists, Socialists and a whole gamut of Gods and Goddesses. Isn't that what we are taught in school ? In America the motto has been, for God and Country. For those things we are willing to give our lives. Unfortunately man has also been willing to give his life for profit and for pleasure. We will not deny ourselves.
 It is no wonder to me that he more divided our country becomes, the less we deny ourselves. To me it is a simple equation. If you wish to be disobedient you need to justify that. The easiest way to do that is just separate yourself from the rules. In other words, create a division. In that way I am not subject to the " rules " of that society. In that way I can practice whatever " lifestyle " I enjoy, whatever feels good. Little to no effort is required to maintain that lifestyle. It is even easier if I can convince the " other " bunch to take care of me. Better still to have that group assume responsibility for it in the first place ! And in America we all know who that is. It goes without saying. The bottom line to me is this. We are not going to stop this " war " without the participants all agreeing to deny themselves of pleasure or profit. That is what this war is providing. Yes the cry is, these people need hope ! The truth is, hope is not given, hope is received. Hope is received through faith. Faith doesn't have to be a specific God worshipped in a prescribed fashion. Faith requires no proof, no set rules. Faith doesn't come in degrees. Faith is an absolute. Hope springs from faith. 

Ruminating

  The majority of us long to be were we came from, and pray for were we will go. At least that is my estimation of things. I have discovered that home isn't where I left it and so a return is impossible. All that is left for me is where I will go when this journey is over. I do believe the journey will continue after this mortal body of mine gives out, as it inevitably will. But the spirit moves on, The question remains, to where ? Is it to heaven where it will rest for all eternity ? That seems to be the predominant thought or teaching and has been so for centuries. I think it is just as possible that the spirit, that energy that makes us men, continues to toil with existence. One seems as likely as the other. Energy is either potential or kinetic. It could be that we are stored in heaven, as potential energy, and when given birth we become kinetic once again. Is heaven just one big battery ? It is an interesting thought. Black holes ? Is that what they are ? Science says they attract everything and nothing can escape their gravitational pull. The thing there is, were does it go ? It has to come out somewhere doesn't it ? I mean, every hole will fill up eventually. My thinking is that we are watching the universe expand from the exit side of a black hole. But I'll leave that to the scientists to explain, I'll just keep praying.
 Now it could be that we just start over again as well. What I mean is, what if we ( our energy ) just goes into a black hole and comes back out where we started ? Could it be that we just keep repeating our lives over and over again ? Like electrical current through a wire we go were we are directed to go. That would explain Deja vu. That action being our role in the universe. Just as every piece in a machine has a purpose, and it repeats that purpose over and over again, maybe that is what we do as well. I know that doesn't sound very promising and provides little incentive to accomplish anything, but could be we are just a cog in a much larger scheme of events. Energy can not be created or destroyed. It seems logical then that God, the creator, or whatever you wish to use would have all the energy necessary to accomplish whatever it is that this God wished to accomplish. Our purpose is simply to provide that energy at the proper time and place. Is this the proper time and place ? We're alive, conscious of our existence in a universe we really don't understand and so it is entirely possible it is. Would the choice of where we go be left up to us ? Seems unlikely doesn't it. Therefore we are directed. Is the wire moved each time we start over ? Is heaven just the switchboard ? Hmm.
 This isn't meant to be anything but a rumination. I am just ruminating. Now if you are a farmer or a cattle breeder you may already know this. Ruminating is what animals do when they are " chewing their cud. " I recently learned that bit of trivia. The purpose of it is to aid in digestion. Well in fact without chewing their cud digestion wouldn't happen at all. But this isn't meant to be a biology lesson either I just found that interesting. So that is what I am doing this morning, ruminating. I do wonder what a cow is thinking about when they are ruminating. Are they ruminating about ruminating ?