retired?

 I will have been officially retired from the U S Navy for thirty years this October. I served on active duty for twenty. I remember thinking that those twenty years would never pass, it was a long time. The last thirty however have just flown by. My mom always said the older you get the faster time goes by and I have to say she was right about that. Maybe that is because you are not anticipating anything and aren't in a hurry for anything to be over. That pretty much describes being retired for me. Each day is just another day and the things I celebrate are the things that are happening to others. Thing is, I'm perfectly fine with that. I do take genuine joy in seeing those that I love and care about succeeding. I don't need to go on vacations, I'm on a permanent one in my way of looking at things. There is only one big event left for me and I'm not anxious for that event to take place, I can wait, patiently. 

 Being somewhat of a practical person most of the time, I've found the older you get the fewer plans you make. Well except for planning when you are leaving the house. Should I drink another cup of coffee, it is a long drive and I'll have to use the bathroom. It really doesn't help much to go before you leave, the result will be pretty much the same. Coffee and beer are like miracle liquids. Drink 12 ounces and pee twenty-five. I find myself asking those questions like, should I take my pills with me, will it get dark before I get back, and does the car need gas. All things I never used to give a thought too. I don't make many plans to fulfill my dreams. Not like I used to years ago. Now I just enjoy dreaming them. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to build a boat, a house, or travel around the world. I'm not going to be a famous author or rockstar. No, I've pretty much decided I'm going to be what I am. That doesn't mean I should stop dreaming though. 

 I think the hardest part about being retired is having the time to do whatever you want; for yourself. It is certainly something different that much is certain. Unless you were born wealthy or something you had to work your whole life. There were always places I had to be, things I had to do. Yes, I went to work to earn a living, that was the primary reason, but I also felt like they needed me as well. That was the reason I felt a bit obligated to show up for work even when I wasn't exactly feeling it. I mean beyond knowing I could get fired I did feel like I owed my employer that much anyway. At least show up. I always had something to do for others. 

 Now I could just volunteer, do charity work, and have others depending on me but I have no desire to do that. I will do that on my own time, when I want to, I don't want to feel an obligation to charity. For me that would pretty much defeat the purpose. I'm supposed to feel fulfilled by doing for others. That's what I have always been told. It's what I hear others say they experience when they volunteer for such things. I just feel a bit guilty when I do, like I'm doing that for selfish reasons. I want to feel good about myself. Thung is, I already feel alright, I don't require any validation of that. This time is supposed to be my time. The time I worked for all my life. To do the things I want to do. Turns out there isn't all that much I want to do.

 I retired for good when I was sixty-three. Yes, just as soon as I could. I'm a firm believer that a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. I wanted my social security payments! I've known a few that only lived a few years after being eligible, and some that were eligible but never received a thing. Wasn't going to happen to me. Today you could wait until you are seventy and receive the maximum amount. The life expectancy for a man in the United States is seventy-three! Doesn't seem like such a great idea to me, trust the science, right. Insurance companies play the odds and stake their business on those sorts of facts. Ever hear of an insurance company going broke? Even those that have done so did that through their own mismanagement and poor investments, not from paying out claims. Odds are I've got another three years. But I'm hoping to beat those odds, hey I buy lottery tickets too, call me an optimist. 

 Well time flies when you're having fun that's what I've always been told. I guess it is true because time sure is flying by. I'm beginning to understand what those old people were talking about. Enjoy the moment because that moment won't be back. All you really have in this world are family and friends. Those are the things that matter the most. You are whatever you leave behind. Be careful not to liter!