quiet contemplation

  There are times when it feels like you just closed a book. The story is over, and you are left in thought. You like the story, and you will revisit it over and over, but it feels unfinished. Still, there can be no new chapters, no rewriting of the tale. It's a finality. And that is the feeling I have this morning. It follows a visit from my brother-in-law. A very enjoyable visit and I hope we get together again, but we live very different lives. It will be five years this December since the passing of my sister. He has remarried since and has begun to rearrange his life. As he put it, everything has changed. He appears happy, excited for his new life and I am happy for him. He was a good husband to my sister; he has been a good friend to me and my family. 

  While he was here visiting, we told all the same old stories, as families tend to do, sharing those memories. Looking at old photographs, holding the artifacts of the past, the little treasures collected and shared over the years. We spoke of my sister a bit, not too much I hope in deference to his new wife Rosalind. They have of course made their plans together and I wouldn't want to put salt on any of that. There plans include moving back to California were they both grew up. In fact, they attended high school together, and hadn't seen each other in fifty years or more when they reconnected. The first chapter in a new book about my brother-in-law. The first book ended with the passing of my sister. That's how I see that anyway. I'm happy that I am being included in the new book. The strength of friendship. 

 As we chatted and he told me of his plans for the future it became apparent to me. My sister is gone. He talked of selling the home they had built together, he talked about disposing of the less personal items they had enjoyed together, things like furniture, a sports car, some Bric- a- Brac. It is the closing of a book. The story ended. That is what I'm feeling this morning. It came as a bit of a surprise. I was excited about seeing him again, meeting his new wife and all that. I wasn't expecting this feeling to come over me quite the way it has. I wouldn't call it a wave of emotion, it's more of a gentle breeze. A finality. I'm reminded of the final scene in the Forest Gump movie. You know the one. He is sitting at the school bus stop and the feather from the book goes drifting on the air. Then this line from the movie comes to mind: “I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental, like on a breeze. But I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both are happening at the same time.”   

 Yes, my brother-in-law was correct when he said, everything has changed. Things change every day it's just that most of the time we don't notice it all that much. At least for those of my generation that seems to be the case. I have noticed the current generation seem to respond dramatically to every little thing. This generation is concerned with pronouns! Products and business being boycotted because they are offended. Fortunately, mankind has a way of adapting to change, always has and I see no reason to believe that won't continue. Age has a way of humbling us all. The only thing that doesn't change is the past. And there are times when you just simply have to close the book. You can't rewrite the story, but you can learn from it. It doesn't matter how many times you read it; the story remains the same. Sometimes there is nothing more to learn. Then it is time to just enjoy the story: in quiet contemplation.