it's not easy

 To give without the expectation of getting. That is perhaps one of the hardest things to do in life. I believe we all expect something in return, even if that is only a thank you. I make no claim to being any different from anyone else in that regard. The times I have given something freely, just because I wanted to with no expectation of return have been few. So rare in fact, that I remember them. I'm still waiting for that return I suppose. But whatever the case may be, I was thinking about that after reading a post on Facebook. 

 A short time back my wife had joined a group on that platform that calls themselves random acts of crochet kindness. The idea is to crochet these small items and leave them about for others to find. Usually, they include a small note saying something like, "I'm not lost I'm just alone, if I made you smile Take me Home." Some have that little block of dots that you scan, and it takes you to a website. I think they are called a QR code. Do that and you can post to the group on Facebook and express your gratitude. Some encourage you to do just that, that is the expectation of return I'm thinking about. And this morning I was reading a few comments about how disappointed some have been that they didn't receive recognition. They felt disappointed and discouraged. They had placed lots of these about, but nothing on Facebook about that. 

 Like I said I'm no different than anyone else when it comes to that, but it did strike me as odd that you would post about it. I mean, I'm saying that I'm doing random acts of kindness, but I want acknowledgement for that. I went to the internet for a word to describe that but there doesn't seem to be one. Narcissism is the closest thing but that isn't what I'm thinking about. It is seeking a return that makes you feel better about yourself, a sort of affirmation. Yes, I am a kind person, the proof is I left these items around for others to find. I guess it is the public proclamation of that disappointment that bothers me.

 It seems to me that is becoming far more prevalent these days. The awarding of recognition for anything and everything. Now I'm not saying that others are expecting it, but we are extending that on every occasion. It is leading to some expecting that, however. It is fostering an entitlement society, an attitude of, I deserve this. It's a phrase we hear quite frequently these days, get the compensation you deserve! There are those that join volunteer groups for that very reason. They enjoy the recognition. And there are those that I call parade ground patriots. Those are the ones that like to wear the uniform, parade around in it, but don't want to actually do the job, they just want that to be associated with that. We have all known people like that. Actors and musicians have created many awards that they vote on and give to themselves! Some have even sued because they didn't get an award! Others boycott for the same reason. They are demanding recognition. 

 It is a human frailty, the ego. We all require a healthy ego. Although ego is often thought of being a bad thing. That's the exaggerated sense of the word. A feeling of self-worth is healthy. The excessive seeking of recognition is not. I was always told to expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed. One of those things that cause you to sigh and say, yeah. But I was taught to not show that disappointment. I haven't always remembered that lesson. I have been disappointed on occasion and didn't hesitate to express that disappointment. Another lesson that seems to be lost on many these days. There are times when perception is more important than reality. It's the same philosophy of keeping your cards close to your chest. It isn't deceitful, it is simply a wise choice. 

 All of this is the stuff of philosophers and phycologists/physiatrists. They are the ones discussing all of that, attempting an explanation. I checked my Bible references on this and giving without an expectation of reward is addressed 14 times in that text. Some will call that a Christian thing, but I say it applies to all mankind. The disciples. the prophets, the men that wrote the words of the Bible down, were passing down what they had been taught and learned in life themselves. The same advice. Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed. The promise is a reward in heaven. So even then, there is an expectation of a return. It is promised by your own good deeds. No one said it was easy.