remembered reward

  Stayed up last night to watch the home run derby. It's fun to watch the pros knock the ball out of the park. As a result, I find I'm a bit sluggish this morning. It isn't that I have to get up at a certain time or have anything in particular to do but I feel like I'm behind. I just don't know what it is that I'm behind. It is just that we humans are creatures of habit. I have grown accustomed to waking up at a certain time and starting my daily routine. I certainly have a routine that is something I'm well aware of. I do think it is important that we have a routine, that is the natural order of things. This being retired routine certainly affords all the flexibility I could ever want, it's what I was told I went to work for! I was told to save for it as well. Retirement is the proverbial gold ring on the merry go round of life. Well, now that I have that gold ring, I sometimes find it difficult to know what to do with it. Is it for me, or is it to allow me to do for others? The brass ring is the top prize and would get you a reward. 

  What is the biggest reward in life? Well now that's a very hard question to answer. Oh, the answer you are supposed to give is easy enough, the answer you were taught, but the truth is what is difficult to define. The Hallmark response is to see your children grow into productive citizens and good people. To watch as your grandchildren grow into adulthood and begin their lives. To help others in life. The Hallmark answer is always about pleasing someone else. If you do that you will be remembered. That's the thought process involved. I do believe that is what the vast majority of us want, to be remembered. How ironic is that? You spend your life seeking a reward, a reward that you will never know about, to be remembered. A reward based on belief. You have to believe you will be remembered. Is that the reason you do things? That is the sticky question. So, is the reward to do for others? Is that the brass ring? I'm getting mixed messages about that. Shouldn't retirement be for me? I earned it right? But the reward, the thing I really want, is to be remembered. Can I ensure that? No, I don't believe that I can. I just have to believe that you will. It's a paradox. 

 I wrote this bit of poetry some time back. 

                                                               

                                                            How long remembered

Time and memory fade like mist in the morning

The burning of the sun and the passage of time

How long remembered, these friends of mine.

Grey stones stand sentinel over their rest

a name and two dates marking the time

How long remembered these friends of mine

Waiting, waiting for the reward

Lives well lived, lives forlorn

How long remembered these friends of mine

I come to visit, I come to reflect

keeping them still alive

How long remembered these friends of mine

Who will come when I am gone

to pray among the stones

and contemplate my time

How long remembered by these friends of mine

A.B. Reichart