Why

  Motivation. I find myself looking for that this morning. I have several projects in mind, things I tell myself I should be doing, but find I'm lacking in motivation. They are things I want to do for myself, all the while trying to convince myself I'm doing them for others. It's always better to do things for others, isn't it? It's certainly what I have been taught over the years. But it is a lesson full of contradictions. You should do things for yourself but doing for others is better, the right way. Recognition, validation, has to come from others. You are not truly successful until you are recognized by others. And that is where the contradictions lie. No matter how much you are told to the contrary, to just do it for yourself, to pay no attention to what others have to say, to "dance" as though no one were looking, we can't shake that. Well, we can if those actions get us the attention, the validation we all seek. Isn't that the truth? We are getting the validation or recognition we seek. For many of us that is true even when the reviews are bad! P.T. Barnum, the great showman said: "You know I had rather be laughed at than not to be noticed at all." I think that is the truth of it. 

 When we believe we will be rewarded we are motivated. Rewards must be earned. For that reason, the product must be worth the reward. That's true no matter the product. When we feel our product will not be deserving of the reward we are not motivated to produce that product. That is usually where the excuses/reasons begin. We have a lot of those readily available at all times. We don't have the material, the money or the time, are the most popular ones. Not having a proper workspace is another and one I use often. The issue with all of that is the reward. Reward has to come from others before it is meaningful. You have to believe the product will be worth the reward. Worth it, not just to you, but to someone else.

 I think what I'm looking for is something more. I think everyone feels that way at times. When you feel the product is worth just a bit more than what you are being given. But what is that something more? For that I have no answer. I realize that it is a passing thing however, nothing to be deeply concerned about. No need to seek professional help or therapy. It's a human reaction. I don't need anything from anyone else to resolve this. It is something I have to do for myself. I just have to settle. Sometimes settling is the issue. I'm reminded of a childhood adage, Good, Better, Best, never let it rest, until your good is better, and your better is best. Is being the best the motivation? If it is, you are not supposed to say so. Another contradiction