the right thing

  Being an adult is hard. That is the thought I had this morning. What I'm thinking about is making those adult decisions in everyday living. I can't help but believe we are going to be in serious trouble in the not too distant future. The reason for that is the inability of some adults to be adult. It's the only explanation I can find for the actions of some. Not one to post personal business on the world wide web I will not go into those adult decisions I find myself making that inspired this writing. Suffice to say, difficult decisions need to be made. Those decision have to be based on what is the best solution, not necessarily the empathetic, compassionate, or singularly satisfying. In short I could quote Spock on that; "the needs of the many" and you know the rest. That is making the adult decision and what makes being an adult so hard.

 It's called doing the right thing. The issue being deciding what is the right thing? We are influenced at every turn into believing what is right. It begins with our parents, our siblings, our friends and in the end our own souls. Each of us must decide for ourselves what is right. When you have made those decisions, those choices, and are willing to expose yourself to the world, you have become an adult. Children attempt to deceive, to find excuses and alternative endings, but adults simply react to the situation. Being adult does not allow for indecision. That isn't to say the decisions are always right, but they are always honest. And that honesty reflects what the person feels is the best choice. Well, it should anyway. It may or may not reflect current thinking, current popularity, or current fads. Doing the right thing can be very painful. 

 In todays thinking I should be seeking counseling or therapy of some kind. The reason? Reality is staring me in the face. It seems like a good number of people are seeking advice on just that topic, reality. Instead of merely recognizing reality I should have an explanation for it, a reason. Isn't that what the therapists provide? Yes, in my view that is exactly what they do, explain reality to others. Many seek that professional advice simply because; if it costs a lot of money it must be good. I say you can hear the same advice from a stranger on a barstool. Real people living real lives. In my experience the only trick to being an adult is in the ability to say, no. The ability to deny yourself something, anything and everything in order to do what is right. That is being an adult. Understanding that it isn't about pleasing everyone, or even pleasing those closest to you, but doing the right thing. And with that comes internal peace. When you no longer require others to validate your decision, to believe as you do, you have decided. That is the real challenge we all face. When the sacrifices you make are not made to benefit you, you are on the path.

 Now having written these thoughts as a form of justification, something we all need to do before deciding on anything, I have reached the conclusion. I know what caused my original thought, being an adult is hard. Any of you with elderly parents will understand this. When the time comes and you have to adult your parents, that is to say adult the adults, reality smacks you in the face, followed by a punch to the gut. And the decision has to be made to do the right thing.