Friday, March 26, 2021

paying attention

 There are milestones along the way. Sometimes we don't notice them, at others we just glance, and others, well, we stumble over them. The other day my son and his wife stop by to tell us they are taking a short vacation. It's only for a few days, to just get away. That's wonderful, they both work hard and are well deserving of a few days relaxation. Their son Mark is off to college but Morgan is still at home. After they leave, a few hours pass by, it hits me! Morgan will be home alone! I turn to the wife and say, they are leaving Morgan home alone? She turns and gives me that look, you guys know the one, and says, yes she's 18 you know. Yes, I do know that now that you reminded me. My granddaughter is 18 years old. Guess she doesn't need a babysitter. Just how did that happen so quickly? 
 I can't say why certain things act as milestones. I was reminded of the time Mark rode his bicycle from his house to mine, by himself. That was a milestone I remember. I remember thinking then, he sure is growing up. I remember when Morgan got her drivers license, that seems like a long time ago now. And there are plenty of other milestones as well, ones not related to the grandkids. There was the first time I was getting a haircut and the barber asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed. That was a sign however, a sign of old age on my part, a milestone I'm not anxious to reach. But too late, I'm here. And the time I was given the senior discount without even being asked! And now this latest sign. Morgan, my granddaughter is staying home alone. No longer a little girl she has become a young woman. That's a hard one to digest. Must be some subliminal message in that. I wasn't surprised when Mark went off to college and stayed in the dorm. That was expected, anticipated even. Probably has something to do with being a man and all that. It is, after all, the expectation I grew up with. I was expected to leave home, strike out on my own. My sister however, she was expected to get married, have children, and raise a family. Yes, that was the expectation. Although she did get a college degree and become a licensed cosmetologist, that was pretty much what she wound up doing. And I believe she was happy doing just that. 
 The truth is we have these milestones our entire lives. It is only a matter of seeing them. When we are children we are looking for them, anxious for them to appear. The end of the school year, the beginning of summer, freedom to roam the neighborhood, getting your drivers license, graduation, and other milestones going forward. We may get so involved in living that we miss the milestone altogether. 
 When that happens we label that nostalgia. How old does a memory have to be to be nostalgic? I believe that would be different for each of us. I think maybe it depends on how many signs you have read along the way. If you haven't read the signs along the way that information will come upon you suddenly, sometimes upsetting. I guess I missed the sign about Morgan being 18. Now having read that sign, or rather having it read to me, I was surprised. Now I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for my little girl. But I also realize nostalgia is something I had best get comfortable with. Being left with memories is a good thing, a great thing as a matter of fact. Of course there is something to be said about looking forward, having hopes and dreams for the future. I still have those as well. 
 I think we all leave little markers along the way. Those markers are the signs for those that follow us. Today we have followers on Facebook. I have followers. I do laugh to myself about that, having followers, like I'm a cult leader or something. I would rather have fans than followers. Wouldn't we all prefer hat? My posts and my blogging are markers for others. Some will read, some will not. Some will be missed altogether. Those are obvious markers though, I wonder what other markers I have left behind. What little messages or directions have I scattered across my 67 years? More importantly perhaps though, what signs have I missed? What milestones went unnoticed?   

No comments:

Post a Comment