what we say

 I am grateful for Facebook at times. It has afforded me the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and classmates. Without Facebook I'm certain I would not have done so. This being the modern era most of us have scattered to the winds. I'm not certain if that is true in all areas of the country but I'm thinking not many stay home anymore. By home, I mean the town they grew up in. Perhaps in the urban areas they do but in my experience that's not the case in the rural areas. I know it seems rather backwards if you think about it, think about the American experience. We tend to think about being on the farm or living in that small town with a rather romantic and nostalgic view. The reality seems to be the opposite, however. We leave for the city where we can earn a larger salary. Then some will eventually buy a home in the country and commute to the city to work, once that salary allows that.

 It is nice to talk with those that you knew in years past. We often say we are catching up, but that isn't the case at all, we are really just checking up. How have they fared in the world? That's the real question and the one we won't ask. We don't ask about finances do we. No, but we form ideas about that based on their social media postings. Do they vacation often, dine out and drive a nice car. We look at whatever pictures are posted and attempt to discern that. We look at the person, how they are dressed, what they are doing and what they say. We compare our own situation with whatever perception we form of them. There are times when that perception has changed from the old days, what you thought then, to what you think today. Memories untainted by time are the best. It's always unsettling when those memories are disturbed by reality. 

 As a society we tend to judge people by their financial success. Oh, it is something we will all deny vehemently, but we do. It is one of those ideals that is taught and rarely practiced. Many today are busy virtue signaling. It has become almost a national pastime in my estimation. That is what all this "acceptance" is really about. It's a way to show the world how virtuous a person we really are. But it's a fad like many others, and this too will pass. The narrative will change to one of change. That is the one constant in all of this, change. No one wants to admit it, but it is money that drives the world. That is how you measure success or failure. It's what's good for business that wins out in the end. That is what will be adopted.

 Still, it is an itch most of us want to scratch. We want to know how those folks we knew all those years ago turned out. Did the guy voted most likely to; do that? What became of the homecoming queen, that girl you admired from a distance or were involved with. What we want to know is, did they succeed. If they have a degree of wealth that is a sign off success. At least it is the most obvious one, the material things that are the proof of the pudding. The rest of it is always subjective, open to individual judgement. The rest is where we all say, money isn't important, all that matters is that you are happy. Yes, that is the ideal, isn't it? The absence of judgement. The stark truth is: that doesn't exist. Well, except in my case, I don't think that way. What brings peace is the acceptance of judgment, not the lack of it. A judgement is not the final disposition. The final disposition is success and failure and only you can define that. That's what we say.