Transparency

   Having discovered my interest in the family tree and the things of the past I now have regrets. I'm certain we all do. All the questions never asked, the stories never heard. We see meme's on social media about all of that. The fact that we even know what a meme is, shows how the times have changed. Do you know that word didn't appear in the dictionary until 1998. If you are my age, 1998 seems like a little while ago. I had already been retired from the Navy for five years in 1998. I hope others are paying attention to those meme's and asking those questions that I never thought to ask. 

  Yes, it is true our parents had lives before us. They were even stupid teenagers just like we were. Strange how most of us don't really think about that. Oh, we hear a few stories from them, mostly to instruct us in what not to do, and maybe a few from the aunts and uncles. I was fortunate to hear some tales from friends my father had when they were young. Tales my dad would rather I didn't hear, but, it was his best friend telling the story so. I would hear his protests saying that isn't what happened, but I knew it had. I was told all of that was long ago and it was a different time and place then, things were different. You could do that stuff back then, but you shouldn't do it now! 

 Having reached the age of "maturity" as the polite way of saying I'm old, I get it. I certainly don't want to tell my kids everything. Some things you just don't need to know. I also understand a good number of those things would bring context. I come from a time when you didn't brag about your mistakes, your stupid choices and bad decisions. You didn't proclaim how you were a survivor or overcame obstacles on your journey. No, the objective was to not let others know about that stuff. My parents' generation was even more closed mouth about all of that than I am, and their parents practically silent. You certainly didn't talk ill of the dead. Your misdeeds were buried with you.

 In the future far more of this will be available to anyone that wants to search for it. In this information age a great deal of our activity is recorded in some fashion. I'm not certain what happens to our social media accounts after our passing. I often get notices about it is someone's birthday when I know they passed years ago. I've read a little about how your account can be closed after your passing by others. I'm thinking that the data isn't permanently deleted in any event. I'm aware that information extracted from social media may or may not be truthful, but at least some of it will be. All I mean is our lives are far more documented than ever before. 

 Transparency is a word we hear a lot these days. Everyone feeling like they should be informed about everything. But transparency requires disclosing everything. I'm not so certain that is a good thing in every case. Heroes are often created by hiding the faults. The one great deed outweighing any and all missteps prior to that. We need heroes. How can you strive for perfection when everything is imperfect? That's when you settle for good enough. You can't use all your mistakes and missteps as a foundation for virtue. Yes. we are all human and make mistakes. That's no reason to tell the world about them. Learn the lesson and move forward. 

 And that's the thing isn't it? If we all were completely transparent with each other our opinions would certainly be different. Those that we admire may not be admirable after all. In my experience the more transparent you become the less popularity you enjoy. Others don't like hearing the whole truth. Consider the heroes of the past that have fallen from favor when the truth of their lives was told. And it doesn't even have to be factual, rumors and innuendo can accomplish the same thing. Best to keep your cards close to the chest. Still, when it comes to others, we all want to know everything, all the juicy details. I would encourage you to ask those questions and listen to the stories. The only thing I would add is, don't ask questions if you don't want to know the answer. Transparency is a fine thing until you can see right through it.