in reveiw

  No one told me aging would be like this. I'm not thinking about the aches and pains, the slowing down of your reflexes and becoming the "old" people at the party. No, I'm thinking about how you begin to live your life in review. Oh, we are told age is just a number and to stay active, it will keep you young. But then you realize that being young quite often involves being foolish or impulsive. That is when you also begin the review process. Yes, that is what the old people are doing when giving advice or relating the stories of their past. It's a review of the answers but understanding that the test is over and there is no changing those answers, that's the frustrating part. 

 That process is different for each of us as our experiences are unique. Are you satisfied with the answers you provided? Some will provide the same answers today as they did back then. They will do that despite their better judgement. Others become somber. But the majority will become teachers. What I mean is attempting to teach others the lessons we learned, providing the answers, often revised, from our original response. We have learned that it isn't really about the answers, it is about the questions. The answers aren't the constant in life, the questions are. Those questions never change, never go away, they are always present.

 You can't just take the test over again. That is one lesson you will learn over time, and it does take time to understand that. The finality of time creeps up on all of us. There is nothing you can do but accept that. You can attempt to medicate it away in any number of ways, but it won't go away. You can attempt to distract yourself from that by "staying" busy. But the thing is, it will always be a review. What we call experience. Experience is our answer in review. The answer isn't always the same. The test hasn't changed, only the answers. I don't see that as a bad thing, nothing to cause concern. You can't change the past and I'm thinking you can't change the future either. 

 It is the final grade that concerns us all. For some that final grade admits you to heaven or something similar. For others the final grade determines your next life. Life is nothing more than the realization that you exist. If you fail the test, you fail to exist. But that leads to the big question in all of us, just who is grading the exam? In review we are deciding if the answers were right or wrong. I think the best you can hope for is a passing grade.