proactive

  I was thinking how proactive my parents were before we even used the term. My mom was especially so. I wasn't aware of it when I was younger but gradually grew to understand it. In the summer months, or during any vacation days from school, shortly after dad left for work, I would be accused of having done something! Could be most any infraction of the rules in my house. Maybe I just looked at mom in the wrong way. Anyway, I would hear these words, just wait until your father gets home! What that meant was you're guilty and dad is the executioner. Your only hope was that mom would forget about that infraction during the day. The best way to ensure that was to be on your very best behavior. The very best way was to get out of sight, stay out of sight and don't ask for anything. That seemed to work every time. Then one day I realized just what the deal was. It was just mom being proactive, saving me from myself. Thanks mom.

 My parents were proactive in other ways too. I was told you're not going out of the house looking like that! It was a kindness, saving me from ridicule or teasing. I wasn't being denied the freedom to express myself, I was being instructed. They didn't care what the other kids were wearing, I wasn't the other kids! It was a reassurance of parentage. There was no doubt in my mind who my parents were, ever. They were the same kids that might be jumping off a bridge. Would you do that too? Of course, you wouldn't, you knew better than that. My parents were concerned with global warming. Close that door we're not heating the neighborhood! They were concerned with global hunger. There were kids in Africa that would be happy to have that cauliflower! I should eat it for them. I needed to do my part. Food should never be wasted. They worried about my eyesight. Get back from that television, you'll go blind sitting that close.

 I was taught that the fewer things you have, the more you appreciated what you did have. That was also taught by allowing you to work for the things you wanted. It wasn't that they didn't want you to have those things, it was that they were worried about spoiling you. I can tell you it was something my parents never allowed happen to me. It was confusing at first because I was also being told, don't be fresh! That was cleared up later when I was told about getting seasoned. That meant doing the same job over and over again. That's how you got good at something, by repetition. If you repeated the same mistake however you did hear, what till your father gets home. So, things went full circle. The lesson was clear. Do what is right before you even need to! That's being proactive. Good parents are proactive like that.