consequences

 Was listening to the television, some news program or something like that, when they began talking about raising your children. Several experts were on there saying raising your children is a partnership. I had to immediately disagree. It isn't a partnership, it's a dictatorship! You will do as you are told, and your freedom depends upon compliance. That is the method used when I was growing up and it has proven to be very effective. Over time an alliance with the dictator may be established, an alliance based in trust and mutual benefit, but that is the best you could expect. 

 This discission was centered around the use of social media. The surgeon general has determined children 13 and younger are too young for social media. They should not be allowed to be on any of that. But, if they are they should be closely monitored. They could be influenced! Now there wasn't any issue with gender identity with children as young as five, whatever they say should be accepted without question, and the proper counselors, therapists, hormone treatments, or reassignment surgeries scheduled. But Facebook and Tic-Tock could cause serious problems. Why there are people on there that will say differently and hurt their feelings. There are folks on there that will not affirm their gender identity at all! Yes, that is to be avoided.

 I was reminded of a time when I called into the local radio station. I was at work and a talk show was on. It was a child phycologist discussing corporal punishment. This would have been in the mid 1970's. The attitude then was that you should never hit your child in any way. No instead you are supposed to reason with them, have a discussion and determine the cause of their inappropriate behavior. Then having discovered the cause taking steps to correct the action. That may involve the parent admitting they were wrong! Well, I listened to that for a while and just had to call in. I called in to tell that phycologist just how wrong she was. I told her how my father handled those situations and how it had nothing to do with discussing the problem. Dad was right, I already knew what I had done was wrong, no need to explain that to me, I had made my choice! All that was left was the consequences. I got my butt warmed and I deserved every lick. In fact, I informed her I was dam glad of it today. Taught me about risk and reward that's for sure. And most of the time, the risk wasn't worth the reward! Yeah, I might be "cool" for a few minutes in front of my friends, but in the end it just wasn't worth it. Didn't take very long to figure that out.

 You are parents, not friends. That's the first thing you need to understand. Your job is to inform and guide. It isn't a partnership. It you raise your children correctly they will become your friends. They will become your friends because they will love and respect you. They will come to understand why you made the choices you did. That's why you said, no! As parents it is your responsibility to prepare them for the real world. They have to be taught to accept reality! Yes, allow them to play their games, engage in their fantasies about being a rock star or a superhero, but at the end of the day, realize that for what it is. People will say no, people will not agree with you, people will say mean things. And there are those smarter, better looking, with more money and talent than you. Yup that's the long and short of it. 

 Fear or respect? That is always the question, isn't it? I believe children should fear consequences. Who, or by what authority those consequences are imposed isn't the issue, establishing the fear of consequence is the objective here. A healthy respect for authority is always the prudent course to take. Even in a dictatorship there are avenues to effect change. Open defiance rarely works! All that does is make the other person/entity more determined to enforce their will. And that is what a good parent will teach. Respect for proper authority. The parent is the proper authority for a child! In this world there are many others that will exercise proper authority over you as well. Learn to work with that authority and you will go far. Oppose authority and the results aren't going to be so great. Consequences. Risk and Reward. A partnership with authority? No, the goal is to become the authority.