Thanks

 Most holidays and observances weren't much of a big deal at my house growing up. It was just the major ones, Christmas and Thanksgiving that got the most attention. All the others would be mentioned, perhaps used as an excuse to light the charcoal or eat a cake. I don't recall a single time my parents celebrated their anniversary, in fact, it was never even mentioned. Birthdays came and went usually with Mom making a cake and we had some ice cream. No parties except when my sister gave me one for my sixteenth. Memorial Day marked the beginning of summer and Labor Day its' end. Some firecrackers and sparklers for the fourth. 

 Today being Father's Day I am thinking about my dad. He's been gone for thirty years now, three decades. It doesn't seem like it most of the time. I hear his voice and feel his presence often enough. It isn't a spirit, it's a memory. I'm a part of him and a part of him lives within me. It's just a natural thing nothing superstitious or ethereal. All a part of a cycle. I didn't get to be around him a lot when I reached adulthood. I was in the Navy. I would come to visit. In some ways he still thought of me as a kid, his kid. I get that, I understand it. Sometimes I think of my own children as just kids! One of those kids is the Mayor of Greensboro! But the thing is I wish I had gotten to know my dad as a man. That's the part I miss, a part I never had.

 What I mean is I wish I knew his inner thoughts and feelings a bit better. We never got to share those type of things. After I left home we sort of bumped into each other every now and again. It was more like visiting, as a guest almost. No one wanted to upset the other. When I was at home, as a teenager, we did butt heads over many topics. Of course the topics were juvenile although I didn't think so at the time. He, of course, always got the final word. That was back in the time when parents where in charge! All in all he was pretty lenient, willing to listen, but in the end usually unchanged in his opinion. 

 As the years roll on I find my thoughts of him changing a bit. For a long time I tried to be him. I think a lot of boys try to be their fathers. At one time Dad had grown to mythical stature in my mind. A real Mans' man. Then I began to see chinks in the armor. I allowed myself to think that perhaps, just perhaps he did have a few faults after all. He became a human being. More importantly he became another man. A man I would like to have known better. But that wasn't to be. Perhaps that is for the best, I've learned to trust the past for what it was, not for what I wish it had been. It's a difficult lesson to learn. 

 I never thought of my father as my friend. That isn't a concept that was discussed when I was growing up. They say you should marry your best friend and there is a lot of truth in that. Dad as a friend? Well, he could be a lot of fun from all accounts. I did see his mischievous side every now and again. I heard a few tales of his misadventures as a young man. Sounds like he had a good time even if he was being irresponsible. Were we friends? No, I'd say it was more of an apprenticeship. I never did reach equal footing, at least not in my mind I didn't. Friends share equal footing. I think we could have become great friends if time had permitted that. No matter though, he'll always be Dad. I'm my father's son. That's a good thing, a very good thing. Thanks Dad.