I have taken about a week off from writing or posting any blog. The desire to do so came upon me as unexpectedly as those that look for my ramblings. It wasn't a medical issue, it wasn't anything special. I suppose you could say it was a mental issue. I didn't stop thinking, I stopped speaking for a while. Even now I am hesitant to post anything having a feeling that perhaps that has run its' course. I will say it has a been a " hobby " longer than most things I take an interest in. I did play with a guitar for thirty years or so and never became proficient at that, nor popular. Well, we can't all play instruments and sing. It was an amusement I enjoyed with the hope of being mildly successful, I wasn't. But with this blogging, the original intent was just to share thoughts and stories. It has morphed over a decade of writing into something else. What that something else is, is what I have been thinking about for about a week now. The biggest question to be answered is, does it have to be anything? I've always said I was writing it more for myself than anyone else but has that been the truth of it? Of that I'm not quite so certain, but I can say I have always been honest in my writing, even when my thoughts weren't in the popular domain. I ran across a statement made by Bene Brown, had to look up who she is, not being an avid reader of self help books. But I read this quote and thought it was insightful. " When we own our own stories, we avoid being trapped as characters in stories someone else is telling. " It is a condensed version I what I was saying ten years ago when I first began my blogging. Of course I didn't say it as succinctly or with such clarity, but the thought was the same. I want to leave my story in my own words so as to avoid others telling it. It was just a validation of a thought I often repeat, there is little one can say that hasn't been said before, or apparently after. I didn't research what year Ms. Brown published that quote.
I often hear about finding your calling. Everyone has a calling to do something. I think the challenge there is deciding which voice to listen to. I can't speak for anyone else but I hear a lot of voices calling. I don't mean literally, I not hearing voices but metaphorically speaking. I have pursued the things that interested me, I have pursued the things that others say I have a knack or talent for, but I haven't found that one thing to be passionate about. And isn't that what we are told, that we should pursue that which we are passionate about regardless of any outside influences negative or positive. I see others doing that, I figure they must be oblivious to what others are doing or saying as they display no hint of being self conscious. I marvel at that ability, I can't decide if that is a good thing or narcissism. I've been listening but no one voice speaks above the rest.
Having taken a hiatus from social media and composing/posting this blog I do feel a bit more of a calm than in the past. I guess that is why the ostrich sticks his head in the sand. Well that's just a myth I'm aware of that but the intent is the same. They are hiding from perceived danger. I wasn't hiding from danger, just distancing myself from politics for a bit. Just existing requires a bit of politics! Society is controlled by politics, not necessarily elected officials either! The politics of socialization are just as dangerous, just as fraught with missteps, as any campaign for office. One has to decide if they are running on principle or popularity. It is unnerving when your principles aren't popular. It seems I have run short on stories to tell, that's the memories part and the default has been those random thoughts. It is those random thoughts that I consider organizing into some form of book. It appears that it would be some sort of philosophy. Philosophy is just a theory and perhaps that is why it appeals to me so. It can't be proven right or wrong. It's a safe discipline. But it is a discipline that relies upon popularity. You are correct when people agree, incorrect when they don't. I wonder what a psychiatrist and philosopher would have to say about all of that? Either one may hold PhD's in their respective field, and neither one can be proven right or wrong.
So I'm back at this keyboard once again, the discussion continues. I've decided to talk to myself once again. I was angry with myself for a while. Now I've decided to begin again and see where the path leads. I guess you just have to decide to keep walking, even when you have to walk alone. Is that it? Is the voice you hear your own? That could be it, I can say with authority I wish I had listened to myself more than once. Taking your own advice, isn't that what they say? Harder to do that than what one would think. I mean I give great advice, taking it, not so much. It all goes back to the voice thing. Who are you listening too?
I often hear about finding your calling. Everyone has a calling to do something. I think the challenge there is deciding which voice to listen to. I can't speak for anyone else but I hear a lot of voices calling. I don't mean literally, I not hearing voices but metaphorically speaking. I have pursued the things that interested me, I have pursued the things that others say I have a knack or talent for, but I haven't found that one thing to be passionate about. And isn't that what we are told, that we should pursue that which we are passionate about regardless of any outside influences negative or positive. I see others doing that, I figure they must be oblivious to what others are doing or saying as they display no hint of being self conscious. I marvel at that ability, I can't decide if that is a good thing or narcissism. I've been listening but no one voice speaks above the rest.
Having taken a hiatus from social media and composing/posting this blog I do feel a bit more of a calm than in the past. I guess that is why the ostrich sticks his head in the sand. Well that's just a myth I'm aware of that but the intent is the same. They are hiding from perceived danger. I wasn't hiding from danger, just distancing myself from politics for a bit. Just existing requires a bit of politics! Society is controlled by politics, not necessarily elected officials either! The politics of socialization are just as dangerous, just as fraught with missteps, as any campaign for office. One has to decide if they are running on principle or popularity. It is unnerving when your principles aren't popular. It seems I have run short on stories to tell, that's the memories part and the default has been those random thoughts. It is those random thoughts that I consider organizing into some form of book. It appears that it would be some sort of philosophy. Philosophy is just a theory and perhaps that is why it appeals to me so. It can't be proven right or wrong. It's a safe discipline. But it is a discipline that relies upon popularity. You are correct when people agree, incorrect when they don't. I wonder what a psychiatrist and philosopher would have to say about all of that? Either one may hold PhD's in their respective field, and neither one can be proven right or wrong.
So I'm back at this keyboard once again, the discussion continues. I've decided to talk to myself once again. I was angry with myself for a while. Now I've decided to begin again and see where the path leads. I guess you just have to decide to keep walking, even when you have to walk alone. Is that it? Is the voice you hear your own? That could be it, I can say with authority I wish I had listened to myself more than once. Taking your own advice, isn't that what they say? Harder to do that than what one would think. I mean I give great advice, taking it, not so much. It all goes back to the voice thing. Who are you listening too?
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