over it

 How happy are we supposed to be? That's what I want to know whenever I see those commercials on television for anti-depressants. It sure seems like an awful lot of people aren't happy or simply want to be happier. I wonder if it isn't simply that more people want to be less angry, and if the people are angry what is fueling the anger? Discover that and you will know how to proceed. The challenge, of course, is to resolve the issue. 

 Depression is defined as a loss of interest in the things you normally do, and a persistent sadness. Well how much loss and how much sadness are acceptable or how much is not? That's a very fine line I'm thinking. I've always thought you are just about as happy as you allow yourself to be. Yes, it goes back to an old adage I heard often growing up; expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Seems like a lot of people expect an awful lot these days. I see the evidence of that all the time. Many are expecting others to just go along with whatever they are saying or proposing. Then they get all upset when someone disagrees. That's the main reason for changing the nomenclature pertaining to certain activities these days.

 To combat all of that we prescribe mood altering drugs. We call them medications, meds for short. It's cool if you take meds for your depression, not cool if you simply drink or get high to deal with all of that. It's the same action just a different name. It's your only choice unless you can afford a therapist to talk to you, and tell you how you are just fine, it's everyone else that has a problem. People when drinking alcohol have a habit of speaking the truth, which can be unsettling. There's an old saying a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. There is much truth in that. Alcohol is a depressant. Strangely, it can make even those not drinking it depressed; or angry. 

 It's interesting to note that the professionals, the physiatrists say we are not supposed to be happy all the time. We are supposed to survive and reproduce like every other species on the planet. Life is a struggle and should be a struggle. It's a myth that we should enjoy everything we do. There are things we need to do that are not pleasant, pleasurable or particularly fulfilling. Using artificial means to enhance our life experience is not living our life and leads to further depressive moods. That's not living your "best" life. Whatever that phase is supposed to mean. 

 The satisfaction of a job well done is real. It was easier to recognize when we engaged in a trade of some kind. You could see the results immediately. The plowed field, the barn being raised, or the horse was shoed. It can be more difficult to recognize that today when there is nothing tangible to show for your efforts. Perhaps that is why so many today feel depressed or sad. Today more than ever we are also open to criticism. That can certainly make you feel sad. If not sad, disappointed. Happens to me quite often in fact, but it isn't unexpected. I can't believe I haven't been discovered yet. 

 I think the biggest problem we have today is this idea that we need to do something about it. It being everything that displeases us. You know what, sometimes there is simply nothing you can do about it. Some people won't like you; other people have a bad opinion of you, not all babies are cute and some of us do not meet societal expectations for looks. Nothing you can do about any of that. I really do not need your approval, your support or your opinion unless I place a value on that. That's the key point here, I set the value. It's up to others to set the value they place on me; I can't change that! Nothing I can do about it. 

 I grew up in the "get over it" era. We were all well aware that there were obstacles in life. It wasn't all fun and games. Sometimes it just wasn't fair! But we were told to "get over it" and we did. We did so without the use of medications and therapists. You could argue that we used alcohol, which we certainly did. We got our counseling over the bar. The next day, after we got over our hangover, we felt empowered. We had heard the truth and had to deal with that. Some of us just worked hard, did what was necessary, and took pleasure in a job well done. We embraced our traditions and our customs. 

 When we got disappointed, we got over it. We didn't forget about it, but we got over it. We most likely responded in a different way when confronted with the issue that disappointed us or made us angry. We gained a new perspective. Learn to deal with reality rather than rely upon emotions. That's my advice, my counsel. You're welcome.