I've thought about it and have decided that a man should have a marker. Something that says he was here. Whether you get to decide where that marker is another matter. My gut feeling is I should have a say in that, but it is a rather permanent decision that won't affect me at all but may affect others. What I mean is should others choose to visit. Well, it's not like I will be going anywhere but those others may relocate. In doing so the ability to visit may become more of a task or a burden than an impulsive thing. When I was living in my hometown, I would stop by the cemetery just to say hello occasionally. I didn't wait for an occasion, visiting that grave was the occasion. Having moved away I haven't been to those graves in fifty years. I'm certain many have not been visited at all during that time as the family has spread out across the land.
I've lived here in Greensboro for about thirty years or so. I only know a few that reside in the cemetery. I stop by to say hello to them occasionally. It's usually an occasion of some sort, Veterans Day & Memorial Day typically. I have just stopped by while taking a walk, however. Fortunately, none of those folks are family members with the one exception. Tom is my daughter in laws father, and I knew him well.
By far the majority of those names engraved into the stone are unknown to me. There are a great many I have a feeling that have not been visited in a very long time. There is a Colonel Comegy, veteran of the civil war, that I'm certain has not been visited. I have been placing a wreath on his grave every year for a number of years, wreaths across America, to ensure he isn't forgotten. I say Merry Christmas, Happy Veterans Day and happy Memorial Day to him. I believe his family all moved away, moved to Philadelphia I think according to some ancestry records I uncovered. A good number of what I assume are his family members are buried close by, also unvisited. He isn't alone because of that.
My father was buried between his mother and father as was his wish. He was cremated and so there was room for the urn. His mother passed a few weeks after his birth, and he was twelve when his father died. His wish was to be with them. My sister is in a crypt in Florida. There are no other family members close by. My mother is in another crypt, in Florida alongside her last husband. I'm uncertain where my oldest brother is, last I knew his urn was at home. Most likely I will never have the chance to visit any of them. And that includes the many ancestors I have buried in my hometown and other places around the country.
And that is the importance of the marker. Something that says I was here. The name and dates are sufficient. I have seen in recent years a photograph included on the stone, but I just find that creepy. A mention that I was a Navy man would be nice but not necessary. It isn't anything that defines me. That is what is lost over the ages. All that will remain will be what is written. A name, two dates, and maybe some other identifiers like MD. or PhD, a military rank or something like that. I'm seeing small statues of Fireman and Pollice Officers as part of the memorial.
Perhaps in the future there will be a digital synopsis of the person's life embedded into the monument. You will be able to play it back on your I-phone. I have seen where some folks were making videos of that nature to leave to their family members. An interesting idea but a bit creepy as well. The voice of the dead? I guess it isn't any different than listening to dead celebrities and musicians. Well except it would be a bit more personal, at least to a few generations anyway. The census bureau waits for 72 years before releasing that information. maybe that is a good idea.
Right now, I figure my marker, government issue, will be in the veteran's cemetery in Hurlock, Maryland. I don't know anyone there but hear they are friendly enough. Will anyone come to visit? I expect that will depend upon convenience and/or desire. That's typically the driving factors. The living are pretty busy as a general rule. I'll have my marker. If that's not enough, and no one comes to visit, perhaps I'll just go visit them! Nothing malicious, I'll just pop in once in a while. Unless I'm too busy that is.
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