or else

  I read a post/meme thing that asked what the kids today need more of that we had as children. It was directed at those of us in the boomer generation. Our parents were the silent generation. I didn't know that but that is what the internet tells me. I'm not certain about that my parents had a lot to say and said it often. But anyway, the question was about how we boomers grew up. You see a lot of memes on that subject. Mostly about how we played outside and rode bicycles. That's true depending upon where you grew up, even in the old days there were those that lived in the cities and suburbs. Yes, not everyone was living on the farm. I can only speak to where I grew up and what we did as kids. I was raised in a rural area. The big difference was that rural area was also a very popular summer destination for the wealthy folks. As a result, we were exposed to some more urban things every now and again. Thinks like fashion and art. Oh, and fine dining. Not that we were ever invited to participate in any of that scene, but we did see it. We were influenced by all of that. 

 As to what we had as children that the kids of today may be lacking, I would say it was freedom. Yes, we were subject to a lot more rules back in the day than kids today, expected to conform to society and obey the rules. We were to be seen and not heard for the most part. Maybe that's why our parents were the silent generation they were always telling us to be quiet. As a counterbalance to all of that we were free to roam. Today some call that free range parenting. As the memes sometimes say we had to be home when the streetlights came on. I didn't live where there were streetlights. I knew when suppertime was and knew to be home by then, or else. I can't say I ever knew what "or else" really was, but I knew it wasn't something I wanted. 

 The freedom we experienced wasn't just that ability to roam. We were free from social media and constant oversight. When I left the house in the morning, I told Mom my general idea for the day. I was going here or there, maybe, but might decide to go elsewhere. That was fine as long as I was back home on time. If I was going to be late, I had best find a phone booth and let her know. I also needed a good excuse or reason for that. But the thing was for how many numbers of hours that may have been, I was free. The choices were my own. I did learn to exercise critical thinking skills although I wasn't aware of that. I just weighed what I was thinking about doing with "or else." That always gave me pause to consider the risk. I was free to choose. I was also keenly aware of consequences. Consequences were always swift, sure and consistent. The excuse everyone was doing it certainly wouldn't fly! The excuse but I feel didn't work either. It didn't matter how you felt about something, what mattered is what you did. And adults, even adults other than your parents, were the boss of you! I was expected to do as I was told. I could complain to mom or dad later on about that, and they would deal with that, but I was expected to comply. There was no, I have a right. Well, I had a right, a right to do as I was told. 

 I think that is it. Freedom. I was given the freedom to do as I choose to do. There were limits on that and I was well aware of that as well. I quickly learned that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It was the freedom to think and act independently. There were certainly plenty of books to read. It was reading books that gave me ideas about the world outside my little circle. The television was mostly simple entertainment. The Saturday morning cartoons and a few cowboy shows. I had heroes then, those men that did what was necessary no matter what. They treated their women right, their horses right and defended the weak. They never killed anybody that didn't need killing. There were moral lessons in those shows. Unlike today where the kids are inundated with all manner of adult themes. They have no freedom to explore, to learn, to experience life for themselves. It's a constant barrage of information both good and bad. 

 The world today is far more dangerous as well. This has evolved as consequences were lessened. Discipline has become lax. Too many kids not hearing, "or else." We boomers are partly to blame. Each generation does want better for the next. We have proven to be no different. As we rebelled against the "man" and dropped out and tuned in. Our social experimentation with the communal lifestyle did have a negative effect. Pandoras box was opened. Our parents called it the counterculture. Lots of civil rights were enacted into law. In our haste to "be cool" we ignored the negative effects on the country in general. It was a shift to identity politics. Prior to that the attitude was For God and Country and My Country right or wrong, my country. We are still searching for that balance. 

 But to answer the question I believe the kids today need a lot less. That's the problem as I see it. They have way too much exposure and influences at too early an age. Children aren't being allowed to be children anymore. Let them use their imagination, entertain themselves for a while. Less electronics, less structured play dates, less organized sports and less constant oversight. Let them learn for themselves, by experience, what's right and wrong. And stop being so overprotective! But first let them know that if they do wrong there is "or else." Don't let them know what "or else" means, the fear of the unknown is the strongest fear there is. And yes, children should be just a little bit afraid. They don't have to know what they're afraid of though, that's not the important part. Consequences, that is what they need to experience. At some point in their lives, they will realize that was the "or else." The consequence may not be immediate, but it will come.