Monday, January 28, 2019

what are you doing?

 As I wrote about the other day I received a letter from an old friend. In that letter he asked, what are you doing these days? It was a good question and one I have been giving thought too. I'm afraid I don't have much of an answer. The question is really asking, what are you doing for others. At least that is the way I hear it. I believe you are supposed to be a contributor in this world. I can think of no other reason for being here. I am here by divine providence. That being established I would have to believe it is for a reason wouldn't I? It is something to consider. So, just what have I been doing these days?
 I get up in the morning, drink coffee and write a blog. That is how my days usually begin. Following that routine, my day is open. I find little household projects to occupy myself or help others when asked. Mostly I just do stuff for the kids and the grandkids. It's pretty slow this time of year. I have no grass to mow, no outdoor projects. I have no outdoor activities that interest me either. I don't fish in the cold. I was never one much for hunting, not that I object to that in any way, just not that interesting to me. It is easier to hunt indoors, at the grocery store. So just what am I doing? Not much. That's the only response I can think of. I'm left with the feeling that I should be doing something, but what? That is the question I am pondering at the moment. It doesn't seem right that I just do the things I want to do, for the most part, I am married, so. I've heard that I've earned it, that you have done your part. Somehow that doesn't settle with me. I'm still here, I should be contributing.
 In the past, when I was working, that contribution was acknowledged by compensation. I received a pay check. I was doing whatever to help someone else. In return I was compensated with money. That's the way it works. It's the only way I know that it works anyway. Yes I could say I was providing for my family, take credit for that. It was fulfilling an obligation. An obligation I wholeheartedly embrace. That's what I was doing. Simple enough to understand. I was doing something.
 Now I'm not one to run out and volunteer to do something just to say I'm doing it. That attitude won't satisfy me. I simply couldn't volunteer to claim being a volunteer. Do you know what I mean? I can't be disingenuous. It would have to be something I really wanted to do, for myself, without compensation. And that is the rub. It's not an easy thing to admit too, certainly not a virtue, but it is the truth. I seldom do anything without some expectation of compensation. Yes, I know, you can do things to just make yourself feel good, and that is compensation enough. I admit to having done that. Is that compensation? More importantly, is that contributing? Can you contribute to yourself? That seems to be the central question in my mind this morning. Is it alright to just do what you want, as long as the wife allows it?
 I can say I am retired. When asked,  that is the usual response. I'm retired. Retired from what though? Whatever occupation I was employed in is the answer. Does retirement relieve you of the obligation to contribute? I don't believe that it does. The expenditure of your life requires prudence and thrift. It would seem only reasonable given the magnitude of that gift, a gift we call life. After all, if you are a Christian you believe one life was expended to save all of humanity. Now that was a contribution! The point being it was a life well spent. And that begs the question, how are you spending yours? What are you doing?  As for me, I'm uncertain at the moment. I'm okay with that. I'll figure it out. Until that time I'll just keep on dong what I do, whatever that is.  

No comments:

Post a Comment