protocol

  It happens in real life, and it happens on Facebook. Someone has passed away. Someone you may have been close to, or someone that was a casual acquaintance. You may or may not be aware of their passing. In person, when you mention that person it creates an awkward moment when you receive that news. It's a mixture of shock and sadness. You are never quite sure what to say. What is there to say? On Facebook however you receive notifications of birthdays. At least I do with a number of people. I suppose all that depends upon what others are willing to share and the settings chosen by each person. Then I go to say Happy Birthday to that individual. For those that have passed a Happy Heavenly Birthday is posted. At other times I may not be aware that person has passed, or I may have a feeling that they have but I'm unsure and so I hesitate. I see that posting as a sort of remembrance of the person. It is a signal to others that you haven't forgotten about the person. I don't believe anyone in the afterlife has a Facebook account. I feel a bit awkward as it seems a bit patronizing. I mean if it were an in person social interaction, I wouldn't be saying that to anyone. The posting of that on Facebook or any social media platform does seem a bit strange. 

  Perhaps it does serve a purpose, however. I have read and agree with the idea that when we lose someone, we still want to hear others speak of them. I know I'm always pleased when someone remembers one of my family members or friends. I'm always talking about my ancestors, even ones I never knew personally, ones born centuries before myself. It's a comfort when others remember too. Growing up I was always told you don't speak ill of the dead. It wasn't anything I ever questioned, the meaning behind that I mean, but was simply an accepted thing. If you didn't have anything nice to say you were admonished to not say anything at all. All of this does speak to being remembered. I believe that is something all of us wish for, to be remembered. It's a personal thing. Perhaps that posting will bring some measure of comfort to others. 

  Social media is a world of its' own. It's a difficult world to navigate. We are provided with some measures to defend ourselves though, we call it blocking others. A Police Department has been established by Facebook to monitor your speech. That's a bit different than the way our system of government was designed to work. It is a world full of pitfalls. Sarcasm rarely works well and neither does blatant honesty. Your profile will often be "browsed", and opinions formed based on that information or misinformation depending upon the author. You could say your profile page is a sort of background check. It's one you compose, however. In this world you will encounter complete strangers and close personal friends. Perhaps the most dangerous people to encounter are those that feel they know who you are from having known you fifty years ago. Perhaps that knowledge is nothing more than you attended the same school. You didn't speak to them then, but today they want to act as though you are old friends. Yes, it can be a very tricky world to navigate.

  What we remember. In our personal lives it is fairly easy to remember details, especially major ones like someone having passed away. On social media however that task becomes far more difficult. Now my friends list is quite small when compared to many others that I know about. I interact with just about the same number of people each day. Facebook may call them followers, according to that I have 26. LOL. Whatever name you wish to apply the number of interactions I have on Facebook are far greater than what I have in my real life, in the real world. I can get confused about facts and events. And the thing is when posting to social media it isn't an interaction with just one person it may be to hundreds! I wouldn't call it an audience, but many are listening! I often get "feedback" on my comments. Sometimes I respond to that feedback and other times I simply ignore it. 

  I don't know it just seems a bit strange to me the posting of Happy Heavenly Birthday. The person I'm wishing happy birthday to is no longer here to receive that wish. The belief is they will somehow know that I wished them a happy birthday. Those that are still here will know I remembered. Is that the point? Yes, I guess that it is. Maybe I just think about these things too much. It's a wonder. What is the social protocol for this? We went from mourning death to celebrating life. I'm guessing Happy Birthday is in order.