what a deal

  I hear and read all the advertisements for cell phones, internet services, insurance policies, and sales on everything imaginable. They usually begin by telling me how much money I can save. They may list a number of discounts available to me, veterans, first responder, senior, handicapped or some other discount that I deserve. They are always deserved. In fact, I should be demanding those discounts from every provider of whatever service or product I want. I do deserve them, I've earned them through sacrifice! 

  Ok, I'm all pumped up now and ready to save big time. Let me see those discounts and savings. This one says I can save three hundred dollars on my cable bill. Alright, that sounds good. All I need to do is sign a three year agreement, I'll save $8.30 a month! The penalty for early termination is mentioned in that fine print. Well, I'm not sure I want to lock that in to save eight bucks a month. Consumer cellular offered me a veterans discount. 5% amounts to about three dollars a month but I don't have to commit to a long term deal either, data is by the gig so I can control that. But I'm still only seeing a savings of a few dollars a month. Guess I'll just keep what I have at this time. 

  Now this insurance starts at just pennies a day! Jonathan Lawson is a insurance professional, that's what we are led to believe. The truth is he is an actor and a paid spokesman. He does get paid by Colonial Penn to sell their product aimed at seniors. It's guaranteed coverage! You do have to wait two years before it becomes valid however and it is quite expensive compared to other insurers. Yes you can get coverage for $9.95. If you are seventy years old that will buy you $689.00 in coverage, after that two year period. So you pay in two hundred and fifty dollars to get six hundred and eighty nine dollars in coverage, if you are older than 70 you get less, as little as four hundred and eighteen dollars! It's a great deal. Costs less than a cup of coffee a day. Well, I don't where Jonathan is buying his coffee for that price but I wish he would share that information. Hey, maybe that is the free gift he promises.

  I was thinking about all these savings I read and hear about, how much money I could be saving. But after a good bit of reading, crunching the numbers, I have reached this conclusion. I could indeed be saving hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, if I took them up on those offers. The only catch being, I have to live to be like two hundred years old to turn those "savings" into actual cash. It does take a long time when you are saving just three dollars a month to amass a significant amount. Interest rates for standard savings accounts today range from .5% to 3.0% if you have a really good relationship with your bank. It's literally just pennies a month! If I had 100,000 in a savings account at 3% that means I would earn 500 dollars a month in interest. Of course I have to pay taxes on that interest so it isn't really 500.

  I especially enjoy those ads that promise me savings by spending my money. If I buy that new SUV today I can save up to 10,000 off MSRP and get free oil changes for life! I should act now because those savings aren't going to last long. Well, they are right about that, the savings won't last because I'm not really saving anything! I'm spending money. We all like a sale don't we? I know I do, and sometimes I do buy stuff because it's on sale. Did I need it? Not the question, the answer is, it's on sale. 

  The post office has been hawking those forever stamps for a while now, that's another savings that amuses me. I can buy a stamp now that will be valid forever! I'll only to wait for a year or so to save three cents. If I had purchased a forever stamp in 2007, the first year they were available, I would be saving 39 cents on every stamp today! That's only having had to wait 18 years. You keep stamps around for 18 years don't you? But that 39 cents you saved today isn't really worth 39 cents like it was in 2007, more like a nickel today. But hey, what a deal.