obligation

  Feeling a bit sentimental this Thanksgiving morning, remembering what is was like when I was a child at home. I had my last thanksgiving at that home probably 55 years ago. I honestly can't say I remember that. Our thanksgivings weren't anything like the ones on the Hallmark channel. I do remember one year my Uncle Elwood, with his family, came to dinner. They had traveled all the way from Chicago. I remember that so well because it was so unusual, so different. It never happened again as far as I know. Thanksgiving dinner for us was always just immediate family, with that one exception. 

  Dinner would be about three in the afternoon. There was no football on the television then, at least none I was aware of. The television would be on for the parade. The highlight of that parade was seeing Santa Claus for the first time. You didn't see much of old St. Nick before that in those days. You knew it was a holiday because everyone had to stay close to home. My older brothers might go hunting in the morning but weren't allowed to stray very far. Dad was home, in the kitchen with Mom and that was unusual. Dad always made the gravy, that was his specialty. Looking back if cooking something involved lard, bacon grease and cast iron frying pans, that is what Dad did. 

 Our home was three bedrooms, two and half baths, a kitchen and the living room. There was no dining room. On thanksgiving though the living room became that dining room. We had to take the kitchen table and move into the living room. Mom explained to me, you can't have thanksgiving dinner in the kitchen! That just wasn't acceptable, as thanksgiving dinner is special, also the reason we said grace before that meal. We never said grace any other time at any other meal. Not only that, you had to get dressed up in your Sunday go to meetings. 

  Thanksgiving was a family thing, an immediate family thing. My mom had several sisters and brothers that lived in town but I don't recall any of them ever coming for dinner. I don't recall ever going anywhere else for that dinner either. I had a lot of cousins too, most I never knew even when I went to school with them. Thanksgiving was just a special day, always celebrated but no big deal either, if you get my meaning. We had the traditional turkey. It involved jellied cranberry sauce and rutabagas. Those were the two items that made it special for me and still do. It was also one of the few days when you had celery sticks with peanut butter or cream cheese. A cheese ball may be involved. Mixed nuts filled that bowl on the coffee table. And Dad, dad had figs and dates. Disgusting stuff those and long since left off the menu with me.

  Today will be the first thanksgiving for my great granddaughter. Her Mom, a nurse, has to work and so they won't be able to attend dinner at my sons house. They plan on celebrating this weekend. They live an hour and a half away. I'm quite aware of all of that. I will be sharing thanksgiving at my sons house. We are expecting about eight people to be in attendance, possibly a couple more. My son doesn't have a dining room either but he does have a large kitchen. Well, I say it is the kitchen, but you could call it the dining area of the kitchen. That's the more modern way, the modern layout of homes these days. You just don't see many formal dining rooms anymore. 

  Thanksgiving is a formal dinner. That's the way I was raised anyway. You had to get dressed up for that occasion, say grace, and use your best table manners. There was plenty of food, a big variety and you were encouraged to try it all. I can also hear the admonishment to eat everything on my plate because there were starving children somewhere that didn't get thanksgiving dinner. I also remember Mom making a plate for a bachelor neighbor of ours. Donald was his name, a nice man who had one hand that was deformed. Mom said that is why he was alone, she knew him when they were in high school. My sister and I would take him thanksgiving dinner. It was the only day of the year we did anything like that. It wasn't that he needed that food, he had plenty, as Mom would say, but it was the thought that counted. Everyone should have thanksgiving dinner. 

  So those are some of my memories of thanksgiving at home. It's strange because I really don't remember many of them at all. The one when my Uncle came stands out because it was unique. Others I vaguely recall. I remember the preparation for that meal more than the actual meal. It is proof that anticipation is often better than the event itself. A great deal of that is being lost today in my opinion. I don't think thanksgiving is as anticipated today as it was back then. The holiday season has really turned into a season! You might see Santa Claus hanging out with the Easter bunny these days. Black Friday is more anticipated than Christmas day. I admit I was never real excited about thanksgiving. It is more of an "obligation" to tradition than anything else, somewhat of a chore really. But, I would be sad if I didn't celebrate it too. 

                                                                                

                                                             Elliotte, her first thanksgiving.